Chapter Twenty-six

I'm sorry

"Ciri, please forgive my son for what he did." Ezion's mom begged me.

I looked at her. "Hindi po madaling patawarin ang anak ninyo. Pero wala na kayong dapat na ipag-alala... I won't do this because I am forgiving Ezion. I am doing this for our daughter. I will try to talk to Ezion. At sana maayos na po nating lahat 'to alang-alang kay Chelca." Halos ako naman ang magmakaawa sa kaniya ngayon. I hope she help me para na rin sa apo niya. Kausapin sana nila si Ezion nang masinsinan at umayos na siya...para kay Chelca.

Ezion's mother slowly nodded her head...

Tumayo si Ezion nang makita ako. Pinakawalan din siya ng mga pulis nang bawiin ko ang isasampa sanang kaso sa kaniya. "Ciri..."

"Ezion." Mariin ko siyang tiningnan. "Chelca wants to see you. Nahihirapan ang anak mo. Siya ang pinaka apektado sa lahat nang ito." Deretso kong sinabi sa kaniya. Dahil wala na naman kaming ibang pag-uusapan pa bukod sa anak namin.

At gusto ko nalang na matapos ito.

He remained looking at me for a while before he lowered his head and his eyes looked down the floor.

Nanatili rin ang tingin ko sa kaniya at hinintay ang sasabihin niya. I waited for a few while before I sighed. "You can visit your daughter. Wala namang magbabawal sa 'yo na makita si Chelca."

That was a short talk with Ezion. Halos hindi rin kasi siya magsalita at wala nang sinabi. After that I left at hinayaan ko nalang din muna siya.

Chelca was looking for him. Until a few days later Ezion was able to visit his daughter. "Daddy!" Chelca was happy to see him.

My family were quiet and wasn't welcoming to Ezion. Hinahayaan lang nila ito because of Chelca. Kuya Caleb was at work at ganoon din si Ate Cianna na nasa hospital naman. Mommy was with us at home at magkasama kami sa kitchen para magluto. While Ezion and Chelca stayed and talked in our living room.

"Nagkausap na ba kayo nang masinsinan noong nakaraan?" Mommy asked while she washed and cleaned the vegetables.

Ako naman na naghihiwa ng karne ay tumingin sa kaniya. Well...hindi man lang nag-sorry sa akin si Ezion sa ginawa niya... I sighed. "I think...he wasn't yet himself the last time, Mom... But, well, he listened to what I said to him..." I almost shrugged. It's already hard for me to still understand Ezion at this point.

"Ayusin na niya ang sarili niya para nalang kay Chelca." sabi ni Mommy.

Marahan naman akong tumango. At nagbuntong-hininga.

"Tingnan mo muna sina Chelca sa sala. Ako na nito." Inagaw ni Mommy ang ginagawa ko.

Wala nang tiwala si Mommy kay Ezion. Pero wala naman sigurong gagawing masama si Ezion sa anak niya.

Hinayaan ko na muna si Mommy sa kusina at lumabas ako sa living room kung saan ko naabutan si Ezion at Chelca na nag-uusap.

"Don't hurt Mommy ever again."

I heard Chelca talking to her Dad.

Natigilan ako.

"Yes." Ezion answered.

I stopped going out to the living room. Naikuyom ko ang kamao ko nang maalala ang ginawa sa akin ni Ezion. Kung hindi lang talaga dahil kay Chelca gusto ko siyang maparusahan sa muntikan na niyang magawa sa akin. Wala siyang karapatan na gawin sa akin iyon. He was real evil for trying to do that kind of thing to me.

And the only person that's holding back my anger and hatred towards him was Chelca. Dahil ama pa rin siya ng anak ko. Ano man ang gawin ko at ano man ang mangyari. That's something I cannot change. And I wouldn't want my daughter to suffer. Kaya kaya kong palampasin ito para kay Chelca. Because like what I always said she's my dear daughter and I love her so much.

Nag-angat ako ng tingin at nakita kong niyayakap na ni Ezion si Chelca. Habang nakaupo siya sa sofa ng sala namin and in front of him was our daughter.

I stayed looking at the both of them. It was a sight of a father and daughter hugging each other. I knew that Chelca's happy when her dad's around. Ezion's presence helps sa pagpapalaki namin kay Chelca after all. I knew that my daughter would be happier if her dad is by her side, too. Wala na akong ibang hihingin kay Ezion kung 'di ang maging mabuting ama siya kay Chelca.

"Mommy!" Chelca immediately saw me when they parted from the hug.

Sumunod din na nag-angat ng tingin sa akin si Ezion. Saglit kaming nagkatinginang dalawa. Before I turned my attention back to Chelca.

"Uwi na daw po si Daddy." Pagpapaalam sa akin ng anak ko.

Bahagya naman akong tumango at tumingin muli kay Ezion. He already stood up from his seat. "Thank you for allowing me to visit Chelca today."

"Of course." Karapatan pa rin naman niya iyon.

Nag-angat ng tingin si Chelca sa Daddy niya. She tugged on the hem of his shirt to get her father's attention. Nagbaba naman ng tingin si Ezion sa anak niya. "You and Mommy will talk?" Para bang may gustong mangyari si Chelca o may gustong ipagawa sa ama.

Ezion nodded his head to his daughter.

Chelca let out a small smile to him.

Naiwan kaming dalawa ni Ezion sa sala at malayo sa isa't isa. I can never get myself near him again. I was still affected from what happened the last time. Hindi iyon madaling matatanggal sa isipan ko and I'm just strong enough to still talk to him because of our daughter.

"Ciri..." he gently called.

Bumaling naman ako sa kaniya. We were alone in the living room pero nasa kitchen lang naman sina Mommy at Chelca. And Declan will be here too in awhile.

"I'm sorry..." he said quietly.

I did not talk for a while. And I didn't know what to say to him... I can't just tell him that it's all right just like that, can I? Pero sa huli ay nagbuntong-hininga ako. I can let it all pass for our daughter. But he should never harm me again or Chelca in any way dahil hindi ko na alam kung mapagbibigyan ko pa siya sa susunod.

"I'm truly sorry, Ciri. I wouldn't ask for you to just forgive me. I understand if you hate me..." He shook his head like the word hate wasn't enough. "And you don't really have to forgive me..."

"I just want you to know that I regret what I did...to you... And to our daughter. Tama ka na si Chelca ang pinakaapektado... I am really sorry." Napatakip siya sa mukha niya gamit ang mga palad. His elbows were on his lap.

"I'm so sorry..." ulit niya.

It was followed by a long stretch of silence between us.

Pagkatapos ay pareho na kaming tumayo ni Ezion mula sa pagkakaupo. We stood there facing each other as he was about to leave.