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Chapter Twenty-five

Passionate

I talked to Declan after putting Chelca back to sleep. Nandoon pa rin sila sa living room nang makabalik ako. Agad kaming nagkatinginan ni Declan like he waited for me, too. "How's Chelca?" The first question he asked.

Nanatili ang tingin ko kay Declan. I already knew that he has genuine care for my daughter. At isa nga iyon sa mga naging dahilan ko kung bakit binigyan ko rin siya ng pagkakataong makapasok pa sa buhay namin ng anak ko. And I know that Chelca loves her Ninong, too. Dahil mahal din siya ni Declan.

"She's fine. Nakatulog na."

Bumuntong-hininga rin ang pamilya ko. Alam kong nag-aalala din sila para kay Chelca. We're all worried for my daughter. At ngayon napapaisip na ako kung nag-aalala rin ba talaga si Ezion sa anak namin o mas iniisip pa rin niya ang sarili niya.

"Kumain ka muna, Ciri." Mommy reminded me.

Nag-aalalang tumingin sa akin si Declan. "You haven't eaten yet? What time is it..."

"Kanina pa 'yan walang kain, Declan." sabi pa ni Ate Cianna.

"Naku, kumain na nga muna kayo. Tapos na kami ni Cianna. Itong si Ciri ang hindi pa nakakakain simula kanina."

"Let's just continue talking in the kitchen." Giniya na kami ni ate.

Pinaghain kami nina Mommy at ate. Declan sat with us, too. And then Kuya Caleb started eating. Mukhang nagamot na rin ni ate ang konting cut kanina sa mukha ni kuya. Nauna pang nilagyan ni Declan ng pagkain ang plato ko. "Tama na. Konti lang ang kakainin ko." pigil ko sa kaniya at nagsimula na rin lagyan din ng pagkain ang plato rin niya sa tabi ko.

Declan sighed. Tahimik kaming nagsimulang kumain ng late dinner na rin. Nag-aalala nga rin ako kay Mommy dahil baka ma stressed na naman siya sa sitwasyon ngayon. She should be sleeping and resting on her room now.

"Puro problema nalang talaga ang binibigay sa 'yo ni Ezion, Cirilla. Kung hindi lang din para kay Chelca mahirap din sa aking kalimutan ang mga ginawa niya sa 'yo. Your Dad and I loved that boy like our own son dahil malapit sila noon ni Caleb sa isa't isa. Nagbago lang ang tingin namin sa kaniya noong nagbuntis ka kay Chelca. Kung may respeto rin siya sa amin ng Daddy mo hindi niya dapat nagawa iyon sa 'yo noon. If he really liked you back then ay pwede naman siyang magpaalam sa aming pamilya mo nang maayos."

Nag-angat ako ng tingin kay Mommy. Ngayon lang nagsalita si Mommy tungkol kay Ezion. When she first learned that I was pregnant at 18 before with Chelca, pareho sila ni Daddy na wala halos sinabi o sinumbat sa akin. Ang gusto lang nila noon ay makausap din si Ezion. And my family just accepted my pregnancy and my daughter. Siguro nga sa dami rin ng pinagdadaanan ng pamilya namin noon kaya hindi na rin masyadong napagtuunan iyon. At ngayon parang tinanggap nalang din ni Mommy si Ezion alang-alang kay Chelca. Alam kong ganoon din ang mga kapatid ko.

I realized that my family and I had been considerate of Ezion. Because he's Chelca's Dad. Pero ayaw ko nang patuloy pang maabuso ni Ezion ang pamilya ko. Tama na.

"What's your decision, Ciri?" Ate Cianna asked me. She waited for my answer.

I turned to Declan and we looked at each other. Bago ako bumaling muli sa pamilya ko. "Kung ako lang ay gusto ko sanang magbayad si Ezion sa tangka niyang paggawa ng masama sa akin. But, Mommy, ate, kuya...iniisip ko po si Chelca. Hindi ko kakayanin kapag sobrang makaapekto ito sa anak ko. Ezion's still her Dad..." I felt weak after saying that. It's the reality that I couldn't change. And I know that I also have to put my daughter first in decisions that I make. Dahil nanay ako at anak ko ang pinag-uusapan.

"I understand... I'm sorry." Narinig naming mahinang sinabi ni Declan.

I turned to him beside me and he stopped eating, too. Nakakaisang subo pa lang din yata siya ng kanin. His head was down and his eyes were on his plate now.

Nakaramdam din ako ng awa para kay Declan. I feel like he's adjusting too much in our relationship... At ayaw kong ganito. But I also really appreciate it that he's thoughtful of my daughter, too. But I don't want to push him to his limits... Alam kong galit na galit siya ngayon sa ginawang pagtatangka sa akin ni Ezion. At kulang pa ang natamo nitong galit sa kaniya mula sa sinabi ni Kuya Caleb na nabugbog na ni Declan si Ezion. I know that Declan wanted more than that out of his anger. Pero ayaw ko rin na mapahamak pa siya dahil din sa nangyari sa akin. After all of this I want us to finally be able to focus on our relationship, too. Because Declan deserves it.

After dinner nauna na sina Mommy at mga kapatid ko na pumunta sa mga kwarto nila para makapagpahinga na rin. At nagpaiwan ako para makausap ko pa si Declan. Lalo akong naawa seeing him looking real exhausted. I thought that if it's not because of me Declan wouldn't have to go through all the troubles.

"I'm sorry, Declan..." My lips quivered as I lowered my head after saying that to him.

Inangat naman ni Declan ang baba ko at pinagtagpo niya ang mga mata namin. Tears already pooled in my eyes. "No, Ciri. I'm sorry I wasn't there immediately when Ezion tried to harm you." He gritted his teeth and his jaw clenched.

Inabot ko ang pisngi ni Declan at marahang hinawakan gamit ang palad ko. Umiling ako. "I'm sorry that you have to go through all these troubles because of me, Declan."

Emotions registered on his eyes and I saw pain on them. Declan held my cheek, too. "It's all right, Ciri. It doesn't matter... I don't mind going through this as long as I'm with you. You're the woman I am in love with and nobody else. Ikaw lang ang gusto ko at gustong makasama kaya wala lang ito. Please don't think na nahihirapan ako because I willingly do all these. Kaya wala lang ito." He tried to reassure me.

"Declan..." My lips parted. "Thank you..." I whispered. "Thank you for doing this for Chelca."

Nagdikit ang mga noo namin. "I love every part of you. And Chelca is a part of you, Ciri." he gently said.

A tear first fell from my eyes. Declan's thumb gently wiped away my tears. "I love you, Declan. Thank you." I told him wholeheartedly. I am beyond grateful for Declan's unconditional love for me... With him I do not have to try so hard. I feel like with him I can do whatever I want and I can be whoever I want to be... I can be myself. Because he just love me like that.

I looked at him in the eyes and he also lowered his head. Our nose touched and both our lips parted. Until we can feel each other's breath so close with the little distance now. Until the gap between our lips closed and we started getting lost in our passionate kiss.

I encircled my arms around Declan's neck. While his arms gathered me closer to his body. "Stay here tonight." I told him when we parted a bit for air. "It's late, Declan. Dito ka nalang matulog ngayong gabi at umuwi nalang bukas..."

"Is that all right? Baka ako naman ang masuntok ni Caleb."

Napangisi ako sa sinabi niya. Parang sa kabila ng pinagdadaanan naming mga problema ngayon, nakakatuwa pa rin na ganito kami ni Declan... I smiled happily and then he captured my lips again. Nagtagal ang halikan namin ni Declan sa dimmed na living room ng condo namin. Natutulog naman na sina Mommy. And it's not like we planned on kissing each other here. It's our emotion and feelings that made our body move on its own.

"Matutulog lang naman. Bakit, may iba ka pa bang naiisip gawin?" I teased him a little bit. Pinagtaasan ko siya ng kilay. Sobrang lapit pa rin ng mga mukha namin sa isa't isa. And my arms were still encircled around his neck and nape. And he was also holding my small waist in place with his large hands.

Declan sighed that made me chuckled a little. "Okay, I'll sleep here tonight. I'm really exhausted, too. Thank you."

I nodded. "Obvious nga. Mukhang pagod ka talaga. Kaya gusto ko rin bumawi sa 'yo. Let me take care of you even a little bit, Declan."

Tumango siya at bumaba ang kamay ko para hawakan ang kamay niya at dalhin siya sa kwarto ko.