Chapter Sixteen

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Ezion's mother asked to meet with me one time. Hindi ko pa alam noong una kung tutugunan ko ba o hindi. I thought what is there for us to talk about? Yes she's the mother of Chelca's dad and she's also my daughter's grandmother. Pag-uusapan ba namin ang anak ko? In the end I went to meet with her.

"Ciri," she gave me a smile when she saw me arrived. Nauna pa siyang dumating sa lugar na pagkikitaan namin.

I sat on the table for two she reserved for us. Sa isang mamahaling restaurant pa rin iyon. Not that I'm thinking she can't afford this anymore dahil nalulugi na ang pamilyang Go but at least magtipid naman sila when they are going nowhere now but bankruptcy.

May galit pa ako sa pamilya nila bukod sa galit ko na kay Ezion at sa ginawa nila noon na pagbibingi-bingihan when they learned that their son got me pregnant before. Alam na nila noon pero wala silang ginawa even just to reach out to Chelca dahil apo naman nila ang bata. Mas tinanggap pa nila si Julius na hindi naman talagang anak ni Ezion. Siguro nga ay mas importante lang talaga sa kanila ang pera bukod sa ano pa man. Because no matter what Gretchen and her family's money was still able to help the Gos business. Gaya ng kung gaano naging mas matimbang sa daddy ni Ezion noon ang pera kumpara sa tiwalang ibinigay sa kaniya ni daddy.

I and my brother talked about this days ago. I didn't know that he was investigating what really happened with our dad's business before. Naisip na pala ni Kuya Caleb noon pa man na may mali sa pagkakabagsak ng construction business noon ni daddy. And what shocked me was Ezion's family's involvement with it. Ang daddy ni Ezion ang may pakana ng pagbagsak ng business namin noon. May part din sila sa pagkakasira ng pamilya namin noon. Kung bakit kami naghirap at bakit nagpakamatay si daddy. And my hatred just grew even bigger for their family.

I still wasn't able to confront Ezion pati na rin iyong sa kay Chelca. I feel like I would throw up when I see his face after all these. Dahil kung iisipin ay sobra-sobra na pala talaga ang ginawa hindi lang niya kung 'di pati ng pamilya niya pati sa pamilya ko.

"Ezion's Dad lured Daddy into a failed business deal. He already knew that it would fail but it was still beneficial to him. So he did it. While Daddy was clueless with the coming betrayal. Maliit lang ang business natin noon, Ciri, compared to the Gos. Daddy was hopeful na lalaki pa ang company niya and so he trusted them." This was Kuya Caleb's explanation to me.

Halos matulala pa rin ako pagkatapos ng nalaman. And to think that we still have an inevitable connection because of Chelca. But I don't blame my daughter. I'll leave it that way. I just can't believe it... Naisip ko si daddy. He must be really devastated. I wiped the tear that fell down my cheek after hearing this truth and all the other realizations I had.

And now I'm still talking to Ezion's mom after meeting with her here. Kung hindi lang talaga para kay Chelca. Dahil ayaw ko rin ipagkait sa kaniya ang pamilya ng daddy niya. Because no matter what they are still my daughter's family because she's Ezion's child. And that's a fact that I cannot just escape.

"I'm glad that you came, hija."

My face just remained serious and almost void of emotion. Hindi ko na alam kung paano ko pa sila pakikiharapan. But just like what I already said na pamilya pa rin sila ng anak ko. And I think I can endure anything for Chelca.

"Kung...ano man ang naging kasalanan sa inyo ng asawa ko, it was my husband's fault and not Ezion. Walang alam si Ezion sa nagawa noon ng daddy niya sa pamilya ninyo, Ciri." sumamo niya.

Parang hindi ko pa rin alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko. Coming here today was already hard for me. "Bakit po iyon nagawa ng asawa n'yo kay Daddy? Namatay po ang daddy ko because he trusted your husband!" I can't help it.

Mariing napapikit ang mommy ni Ezion. And when she opened her eyes again tears were already threatening to fall from them. May namuo na ring luha sa mga mata ko habang nakatingin din pabalik sa kaniya. Humigpit ang hawak ko sa aking purse bag na dala. Should I just leave? This was pointless after all... What's done was already done. Hindi na namin maibabalik pa si daddy. What should we do then?

"Hija," she tried to reach me but I was just so distant. Nagbaba nalang siya ng tingin bago muling binalik ang mga mata sa akin. "I am so, so sorry, Ciri." She got out a handkerchief and wiped her tears away.

"Naging gahaman ang asawa ko. Truth was... he wasn't really as talented as his father when it came to the business he inherited. At mas pinili niyang manloko pa ng ibang tao just for our family to stay on top. And it was partly my mistake, too. I pushed him to it. Dahil sinabi ko sa kaniya noong hindi ko kayang mabuhay sa ilalim so he can't fall. He must not fail. But no matter what we do dahil pa rin sa maling pamamaraan. Si Ezion ang sumalo sa pagbagsak ng daddy niya. He's now suffering carrying a failing company of his dad. And that's even after his failed marriage too with Gretchen. Si Ezion na ang sumalo sa lahat ng kasalanan namin ng daddy niya." She cried this time.

Nanatili lang naman akong nakatingin sa kaniya while she broke down in front of me. I didn't know how to give my sympathy to her. Dahil kami rin ng pamilya ko ay nadamay sa pagkagahaman nilang mag-asawa.

My Dad was a credible Engineer. Ngunit nasira ang credibility niya nang makipag-business deal siya kay Mr. Go. Engineer Go offered the materials to be used for the construction of my dad's building projects before. At dahil partners sila ay pinagkatiwalaan siya ni daddy at hindi masyadong napagtuunan ni daddy ang mga proyektong iyon dahil naging abala rin siya sa iba pa. At the end dahil hindi standard ang mga materyales na ginamit ay nagsimulang gumuho ang mga tinatayo nilang buildings noon. And because it was our construction company who was in charge of those projects at marami rin ang namatay noon sa pagguho sa construction sites ay si daddy rin ang nasisi. Maraming naging rason noon si Engineer Go kay Daddy na sa huli hindi na maintindihan ni Daddy. Nagbayad si Daddy dahil sa mga namatay at ang dami niya pang projects na nag-fail dahil lang doon. And people wouldn't trust him anymore. Until our family was already on the verge of bankruptcy. And it all caused him depression. Naloko lang din si Daddy and he trusted the wrong person. He was betrayed because of money. Dinaya ng husto ang budget ng materials noon para sa construction ng projects niya.

"Wala na si Daddy..." halos natutulala ko pa ring sinabi. Natigilan din siya at natuon sa akin ang atensyon. "I think you knew that your son got me pregnant before with Chelca. Pero bakit wala kayong ginawa...? And now you want all the rights to my daughter..." Na parang wala lang nangyari.

"Cirilla, hija..."

Umiling ako. "Hindi ko ipagkakait sa inyo si Chelca dahil hindi ko rin ipagkakait sa kaniya ang pamilya niya. But... I want you to know, that our relationship ends with my daughter. Hindi ko pa rin alam kung mapapatawad ko pa ba kayo sa ginawa ninyo sa pamilya ko."

For Chelca's sake we're doing this. Ito na rin ang tingin ni Kuya Caleb pati nina Mommy at Ate Cianna. Alam naming maiintindihan din ni daddy because he loves his grandchild even without really meeting Chelca. Dahil pinagbubuntis ko pa lang noon ang anak ko ay nakita ko nang excited din sana si daddy na makilala ang apo niya. If only he wasn't depressed then na hindi na siya nakapag-isip pa sana ng tama bago niya ginawa ang nagawa.

She nodded her head like she's accepting my decision. "Thank you... It's completely okay if you can't forgive me and my husband. It's understandable. But, hija, please forgive Ezion. He was young and still immature back then. Kaya ganoon ang mga naging desisyon niya noon. But I can assure you now that he's changed. And he regret not being with you and Chelca from the very beginning. If only you can give him another chance..."

My lips parted as I looked at Ezion's mother. What does she mean? Hindi pa ba sapat na handa kami ng pamilya ko na makipag-ayos pa rin sa kanila pagkatapos ng ginawa nila sa amin at kay Daddy? I think she's already asking for too much... Ano ang ibig niyang sabihin base sa mga sinasabi niya ngayon sa akin?

"Makikipag-ayos pa rin po ako kay Ezion because we have Chelca. Ayaw kong lalo pang maapektuhan ang anak ko sa sitwasyon nating lahat. Pero hanggang doon nalang po iyon..." I wasn't sure unless she tell me her thoughts clearly and precisely. At alam ko na rin ang magiging sagot ko doon.

"I heard that... you're with Engineer Declan Zamora now..."

Nagkatinginan kami. And then she let out a small sigh. "Kilala ko ang batang 'yon. He was also Ezion's friend since they were kids. At kilala ko rin ang pamilya niya. And they are different from us..."

Bahagya nang nangunot ang noo ko sa sinasabi nito. "Have you met Declan's family yet, hija?" she added.

Hindi ko alam kung iiling ba ako. I chose to remain stiff. I didn't know what must be her goal in telling me this. I haven't met Declan's family formally. Pero sinabi na niyang ipapakilala niya ako sa pamilya niya. After all it's just for formality. Matanda na kami ni Declan and we can now decide for ourselves alone. Alam na namin ang ginagawa namin.

Nagpatuloy siya dahil hindi ako nakasagot agad. "They might not like you..." She shook her head after saying that. "Not that you're not likable, hija. Cirilla, we already like you as our granddaughter's mother. Ang akin lang, maaring iba para sa pamilya ni Declan. They might not like to know that their cherished son is in a relationship with someone who's already with a child—"

Napatayo ako sa mga sinasabi niya. Sumagi na rin sa isipan ko ang bagay na ito. But I believe Declan and I trust our feelings and responsibility for each other. So there's no need for Ezion's mother to tell me such things. "Tingin ko ay tapos na po tayong mag-usap. I'm sorry, but I have to go now. May trabaho pa po ako."

Natigilan din siya sa biglaan kong pagtayo pero nakabawi rin naman agad. She stood up from her seat too and gave me an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, hija..."

Tumango-tango na ako at muli nang nagpaalam sa kaniya. I took my bag and then after tinalikuran ko na siya at nauna nang umalis sa kaniya sa restaurant na iyon.

But I can't deny that I was still affected by what she just said. Naisip ko rin naman iyon. And it would surely hurt if Declan's family wouldn't approve of me, of us. Pero tingin ko rin naman ay nakahanda ako...