Chapter Fourteen

Reason

Declan helped me with my reviews for the Engineering exam that I'd take. He was with me. Kahit pa hindi naman talaga ako nanghingi ng tulong dahil nakakahiya, but he offered to me politely. And I just accepted since sinabi rin sa akin ni Kuya Caleb and I was comfortable. Kahit sa konting break namin sa trabaho sa umaga, kahit abutin siya ng gabi sa bahay, Declan helped with my review. Maybe the reason why I just passed my exam. And I'm very happy about the result, of course.

"Congratulations, Ciri!" Magkakasunod na bati sa akin nina mommy, Ate Cianna, Kuya Caleb and Lorie as we had our little celebration in our home.

"Congratulations, anak. Your Dad must be very proud of you." Mommy became a little emotional.

And I also became emotional remembering daddy. "Thank you, Mom." I hugged mommy. Pumikit din ako at inisip na lang na si daddy rin ang niyayakap ko through mommy.

"Congratulations, Ciri."

Nang kumalas ako kay Mommy ay si Declan naman ang nakaharap ko. He was carrying Chelca up in his arms. "Congratulations, Mommy! I'm super proud of you!" My daughter said to me adorably.

We chuckled to her cuteness. "Thank you, baby." Hinagkan ko siya habang hawak siya ni Declan. Kaya nagkalapit din ang mga mukha namin. Nagkatinginan kami. Declan looked like he's shocked by our small distance. Ako naman kahit bahagya rin natigilan sa una ay napangiti na rin.

I celebrated one of the special occasions in my life with the people that matters to me the most.

"Declan." My lips parted. Habang nasa kamay ko na ang regalo niya sa akin kalaunan. "Hindi naman kailangan..."

"Please don't say na milk nalang na naman ni Chelca. I can still buy her milk, but please accept my gift this time."

Natawa nalang ako. Noon kasi sa US kapag birthday ko ay gusto akong bigyan ng regalo ni Declan pero hindi ko pa matanggap dahil nahihiya rin ako. Kaya sasabihin ko nalang sa kaniya palagi na milk nalang ni Chelca. Mahal din kasi noon ang gatas ng anak ko. Sinasamahan pa ni Declan ng diapers.

"This is beautiful, Declan." His gift was a simple yet very pretty necklace.

"You don't wear much jewels anymore... I think this necklace will really look good on you."

Napangiti ako. "Thank you." I said to him gratefully. Hindi na nga ako nakakapagsuot ng mga ganito. Tanging isang wristwatch nalang na bigay pa sa akin ni daddy noon. I also used to be materialistic. I liked shopping and buying material things. Pero noong bumagsak ang pamilya namin at nawala pa si daddy, at dumating din si Chelca sa buhay ko ay nakalimutan ko na ang mga materyal na bagay. Natuto akong magtipid at magkaroon ng priority. Lalo na para sa anak ko.

"Do you mind if I...?"

Tumango ako kay Declan at tumalikod sa kaniya. Sunod kong naramdaman ang necklace na bigay niya sa akin sa leeg ko. Hinawakan ko ang pendant nito. "Thank you, Declan. I appreciate it. Sa susunod ako naman ang magreregalo sa 'yo." Hindi ko pa nga siguro siya nabibigyan ng regalo kahit kailan. Bukod sa hindi ko siya napapansin noong mga bata pa kami ay wala rin akong pera noon para ibili siya ng maayos din sana na regalo.

"You're welcome."

I turned to him and I smiled. And I can't help it. I hugged him to his neck. Mukhang nabigla pa si Declan pero unti-unti ko rin naramdaman ang mga kamay at braso niyang pumulupot din sa katawan ko. I was wearing a simple a little above the knee and a bit formal dress na binili para sa akin ni mommy kaya sinuot ko na rin. While Declan was in his usual clean white dress shirt and properly ironed slacks. I feel like our outfits matched as we hugged each other on the quiet balcony of our condo and with the night lights.

"Ciri, ready na ang dessert na ginawa ni Mommy..."

Narinig ko si Ate Cianna na humina rin ang boses at nawala. I just can't help myself but hug Declan a little more.

Nang niyaya ko na rin siya na bumalik na kami sa loob ay nakita kong parang nasa ibang mundo pa yata siya. Napatawa nalang ako. Ngumiti rin si Declan at sinalubong na rin kami ni Chelca na agad din nagpabuhat sa kaniya. She's growing up. At bumibigat na rin. Hindi ko alam kung tamad bang maglakad ang anak ko at palagi pa rin siyang nagpapabuhat, or that's just her sweet way of getting closer to people around her. I smiled.

Nakakain na kami ng dinner at bumalik ngayon sa hapag para sa dessert na hinanda pa ni mommy. Ate Cianna gave me a knowing look when our eyes met. Bahagya ko lang siyang kinunotan ng noo pero tumatakas din sa labi ko ang ngiti ko. Bahagyang kunot-noo ding nakatingin sa amin ni Declan si Kuya Caleb. Inabala ko nalang ang sarili ko kay Chelca.

"Nice necklace, Ciri. Natagalan pa si Declan sa pagpili niyan. He wanted the best. But I told him you would like something as simple yet elegant as that necklace you're wearing now. I hope you liked it?" Lorie was smiling prettily at me and Declan.

Napahawak naman ako sa necklace na bigay ni Declan. "Oh. You helped Declan in picking his gift, Lorie? Thank you! I love it."

Lorie beamed.

"Ang ganda nga." Ate Cianna checked the necklace Declan gave me, too. Sumunod din sa kaniya si Mommy.

"Ninong gave me a necklace, too!" Nagsalita si Chelca at agad natuon ang atensyon naming lahat sa anak ko.

Chelca smilingly showed us her necklace na halos kapareho pa ng akin! Bahagyang nanlaki ang mga mata kong nag-angat ng tingin kay Declan. "Declan..."

Declan just smiled. "I thought you two would be happy if I gave you a matching necklace? I hope I'm right." Declan even looked like he was a little conflicted. Na para bang may mali pa sa ginawa niya. Pero wala!

Sa totoo lang mas lalo kong na appreciate ang ginawa niya. Mas napatunayan lang niya na hindi lang ako ang iniisip niya. Dahil palagi niya rin talagang iniisip si Chelca. He's so thoughtful. At maling mali si Ezion sa iniisip niya kay Declan.

I can see that Declan has genuine care for my daughter. Nandoon na siya simula noong baby pa lang si Chelca. He saw my daughter grow up. He was there when Chelca was healthy and when she was sick at times, too. Naalala ko noong si Declan lang ang kasama ko dahil nasa trabaho sina kuya at dinala namin si Chelca sa hospital. I was crying when we rushed my still baby daughter to the hospital. Dahil mataas ang lagnat ni Chelca noon. I didn't know what I would do if Declan was not there.

Marami na rin pala talaga kaming napagdaanang dalawa ni Declan. And all those years kasama rin namin si Chelca. I realized that aside from my family who helped me in raising Chelca, Declan was also there for us. Palagi siyang nandiyan para sa amin ni Chelca.

"Ano ka ba... It's wonderful, Declan. Thank you." I turned to Chelca. "Did you already said thank you to your Ninong Declan?"

Maagap naman na tumangu-tango ang anak ko. "Yes, po!" And then she turned to Declan. "Thank you again, Ninong!" she said to him sweetly.

Declan carried Chelca and kissed her pink cheeks. And then he watched her in his arms with a happy smile on his lips. Lumapit ako sa dalawa at hinagkan din si Chelca. Pagkatapos ay nagkatinginan kami ni Declan. Ngumiti nalang kami sa isa't isa.

"Cirilla, let's talk, please!" Mahigpit na hinawakan ni Ezion ang siko ko.

Naiinis ko siyang hinarap. "What is it that you want to talk this time? Malinaw na sa akin ang lahat, Ezion."

Nagkatinginan kami at mukhang natigilan siya.

"If you'll just ask for forgiveness again? I don't know yet. Pero siguro mapapatawad pa rin naman kita for Chelca's sake." With what's happening with my life right now which have been pretty peaceful, kung hindi lang din ako ginugulo ngayon ni Ezion. I feel much peace right now that I feel like I've never felt it before. At sa nararamdaman kong kapayapaan pakiramdam ko ay mapapatawad ko rin si Ezion at magiging maayos din kami para kay Chelca.

"Let's talk about us, Ciri. Alam kong galit ka pa rin sa akin sa mga naging desisyon ko noon. Yes, I was wrong. I'm so sorry. I regret it. I regret that I did not follow you abroad. I should've been there for you and our daughter. But it's all in the past now. If only I can turn back the time."

Umiling naman ako. "I know. At hindi na kailangan, Ezion. Magiging maayos pa naman tayo because we have Chelca. But please don't expect me to be okay with you immediately." Dahil hindi rin naman madali ang mga nangyari sa amin.

Ezion nodded. "Yes, yes, Ciri. And I can wait. I will wait for you."

Kumunot ang noo ko. Bakit parang may nahihimigan akong iba sa tono ni Ezion?

"Ciri," he held my hand na bahagya ko namang kinagulat dahil hindi ko inaasahan ang ginawa niya. "Wala na kami ni Gretchen. But I hope you'll understand if I'll still communicate with Julius. Wala namang kinalaman ang bata at ako na ang kinikilala niyang ama."

Ngayon ay sobrang kumunot na ang noo ko sa kaniya. "What are you talking about, Ezion?"

He looked at me. "Ciri, I love you."

Umawang ang labi ko at nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa sobrang gulat dahil hindi ako makapaniwala. How can he say these words now?

Hindi pa rin niya binibitawan ang kamay ko at napatingin muli ako doon na gusto ko na ring bawiin. "I don't know what really happened between you and Gretchen, Ezion. And it's a thing between you two. Kung may connection man tayo ngayon it's only for Chelca."

"Ciri, I know you're just mad at me. But I know too that you love me. And I will wait until you can finally forgive me. Ayusin natin 'to, Ciri. Like you said, for Chelca. For our daughter."

Hindi makapaniwalang nakatingin ako kay Ezion. He shocked me.

"Ciri,"

Agad akong bumaling nang marinig kong dumating na si Declan at tinawag ako. We were at work. Sa isang site na tinatrabaho namin. Nang biglang nandito na si Ezion. Declan was just away for a while dahil nag-usap sila ng architect namin na bumisita rin sa site. At ngayon nadatnan niya akong hawak ni Ezion ang kamay ko. Humigpit din ang hawak ni Ezion sa akin. I turned to him and glared at him. "Let me go."

Pero parang ayaw niya pa akong bitiwan. Lumapit na si Declan sa amin. "What's happening? Ezion, why are you here?"

"I am talking to Cirilla."

"Ciri?" Declan.

Marahas kong binawi ang kamay ko kay Ezion. Halos mawalan pa ako ng balanse at nahawakan lang din agad ni Declan. "Are you okay?" he asked.

Tumango ako para hindi na siya mag-alala pa.

"Is he the reason? Think about what Chelca would say about this? Na mas pinipili mo pa ang ibang lalaki kaysa sa Daddy niya?"

Umawang na naman ang labi ko sa mga pinagsasabi ni Ezion. Is he out of his mind? And he dared include Chelca in this stupid conversation? I hate him. I can't believe I fell for this type of person before? Or did I really fall for him? Magsasalita na sana ako na huwag niyang mabanggit dito si Chelca. Pero mabilis na rin niya kaming tinalikuran ni Declan. Matalim ang tingin ko sa likod niya habang umaalis siya.