"I wanted to tell her everything, maybe if I'd been able to, we could have lived differently, maybe I'd be there with you now instead of here. Maybe... if I'd said, 'I'm so afraid of losing something I love that I refuse to love anything,' maybe that would have made the impossible possible. Maybe, but I couldn't do it, I had buried too much too deeply inside me. And here I am, instead of there."
― Jonathan Safran Foer

Tommy lies on the guest bed, half-asleep. He shoves his face into one of the pillows, ignoring the way the embroidered surface digs into his cheek. He reaches down for the blanket, hiking it up even higher around his body. He is sleepy, but he can't seem to find a comfortable position. He used to have his chains to tether him to the bed, and more recently, he's had actual people there to share the space with him. Tommy cannot bring himself further down into the realm of sleep without the coolness of the metal or the warmth of the person. Despite this, he isn't willing to go to Ranboo's room to ask for a chain. He definitely isn't going to ask Ranboo to sleep with him. He refuses to act like a child after they've had a nightmare. Tommy would prefer nightmares to this pseudo-awake state he's unceremoniously put himself in.

Tommy turns in the bed. He pulls at the sheet, finding resistance from where it remains tucked in on the other side of the bed. Tommy's head falls between the pillows, right onto the mattress. It is surprisingly clear how rarely Ranboo has guests over. The guest bedroom feels more like set dressing than a comfortable place for an actual guest to unwind. Ranboo's entire house is one big guest room since he's staying on Techno's land, but this room in particular really took the brunt of the damage. It looks beautiful, but it's uncomfortable. Or maybe Tommy's too tired and cranky to see value in the place.

Tommy begins debating going back to Techno's house. The walk isn't long. Atalanta will probably meet him halfway there. He could leave a note for Ranboo. He'll eventually find the note, or he'll rush over to Techno's cabin in the morning to proclaim that he's lost Tommy to the terrifying villain. Techno has probably left the front door unlocked. If he hasn't, Tommy isn't afraid to bang on the door until Techno eventually gets up. Tommy could probably even use his powers to pick the lock. It will require some work, but he's willing to give it a couple of tries before throwing in the towel.

Tommy's half-hearted planning and exhausted ramblings are cut off at the head by a noise echoing throughout the quiet house. Tommy flips onto his back, pushing one of the pillows away to stare at the door. He doesn't see any lights turning on underneath the door frame. Tommy frowns. If Ranboo is going to be okay at this hour and make noises, he might as well do it in the light. He should, at least, be caring around a flashlight to make sure he doesn't bump into anything. What is Ranboo doing awake at this hour, anyway? Is he getting a snack? Is he going to come check on Tommy? Does this have anything to do with the promise he made with Techno?

The noise continues. Tommy realizes all of a sudden that it's coming from his room. It's coming from the side opposite to the door. It's coming from the window. Tommy picks his head up, looking over the pillows that continue to rest on the bed. The window has been pulled up nearly all the way. A shadowy silhouette is lifting up the window. When they've lifted it, they drop into the room. They roll to a stop, popping up with one knee lifted and the other one pressed against the carpet. They seem to scan the room.

Tommy leaps from his bed in a hurry. He almost trips on the blanket, but he manages to untangle his legs. He reaches onto the nightstand beside the bed, grabbing onto a picture frame of some random location that Tommy is pretty sure was in the frame when Ranboo bought it. Tommy doesn't complain about Ranboo's aesthetic choices as he lifts the picture frame up. He starts slamming it down on the silhouette's head. The figure lifts up their hands, "Wait! Stop!"

Tommy does as he's commanded. Not because it is commanded of him, but because he recognizes the voice. Tommy drops the picture frame beside him. The edge hits the carpet, and the entire thing falls face-down with a soft noise. Tommy drops down onto his knees between the legs of the intruder, meeting their eyes. He sucks in a tight breath. His entire body freezes up with fear. He recognizes those brown eyes. He recognizes them in the same way he recognizes his own blue eyes.

Tommy's hands slowly fall down. He hesitantly presses them against the cheeks of the intruder, of Wilbur, his brother and north star. Tommy traces Wilbur's features with his fingertips. Wilbur has always been colder than normal people, but he isn't as cold as a corpse. There is warmth pressing up against Tommy's fingertips from a man whose heart beats and blood pumps. Tommy feels warm tears rise up in his eyes, and he lets his hands settle on Wilbur's cheeks. Wilbur gives him a half-smile. He closes his eyes as he presses his head into Tommy's hands. His life is in Tommy's hands, but it's always been in Tommy's hands. Even before they promised not to be the only ones to kill each other, Tommy entrusted his safety to Wilbur and Wilbur would have given Tommy anything, even his own life.

"I'm sorry for sneaking in," Wilbur whispers. His eyelids flutter open like the wings of a butterfly. His eyes are as warm as the hot chocolate Tommy and Ranboo were drinking earlier, as brown as the evergreen trees that grow along the edges of Techno's property, and as alive as dancers at a neon party. "I want to give you as much time as possible, but I'm a weak man, Toms. I'll leave if you want me to. Just say the word, and I'm gone."

Tommy doesn't say anything. He keeps his lips shut, barely holding back the tears and the sobs that claw at his throat. For ten years, he's mourned the man in front of him. For ten years, he's lived in darkness and loneliness, clinging to the hope that they would one day reunite. The day is upon them. The day has been upon them, waiting for Tommy to embrace it. There are a million differences between Wilbur and Tommy, from their looks to their temperaments to even their fathers, but they have at least one similarity: they are both weak. Tommy could never refuse his brother, not when he feels so warm underneath Tommy's hands.

"What happened?" Tommy asks as quietly as Wilbur. The quietness is partially for Ranboo's sake, but it is mostly because Tommy can't shake off the feeling that both he and Wilbur are ghosts. They are meant to be silent. They make no noise, only meander between the realms of life and death without interacting with both.

Wilbur nods slowly. He takes a deep breath. Candor shines in his eyes as he answers Tommy, knowing exactly what Tommy meant despite the blonde not giving more specification. "Ten years ago, when you left, the others and I stayed in the warehouse. We thought you would eventually come back. We thought this was another one of your tantrums. When night began to fall, I wanted to go after you. The others didn't agree with me. They thought you needed to learn the consequences of running away. If you walk out, you have to be the one to walk back in. I would normally have agreed with them, but you're my brother. I couldn't leave you to walk the streets alone after dark. I went-"

"Why would you go far for someone who said they hated you?" Tommy asks, interrupting. Tommy remembers those words as clearly as the sun shines on a cloudless day. He remembers the sound of them against his tongue, the ugly way they contorted his lips. He remembers the expressions on his family's faces as they registered the words. He remembers the sound of the metal door slamming shut behind him. He remembers the sound of his rundown shoes slamming against the puddles in the damp alleyway. He remembers staring up at the night sky, the anger ebbing away and the regret taking its place. His stubbornness kept him away even when he wanted to go running back.

Wilbur laughs, drawing Tommy away from his memories. Wilbur's laugh is exactly how Tommy remembers it, though. It fills Tommy with so much joy just to hear it. Tommy would be happy only hearing this sound for the rest of his life. Wilbur's laughter comes to an end, but his eyes continue to twinkle with genuine amusement. His smile is worth more than a thousand masterpieces. He puts his hands on Tommy's hands, the ones still resting against his cheeks. "In our life together, you have told me 'I love you' as many times as there are stars in the sky. One 'I hate you' said in anger isn't going to convince me that you want nothing to do with me."

Tommy finds himself laughing, too, realizing how silly his thought process was. When he finishes laughing, the expression on Wilbur's face reminds Tommy of the feeling he had when he heard Wilbur's laughter.

Wilbur continues when both of them have finished laughing. "I left the warehouse. I looked all around L'Manberg. I wasn't able to find you, so I assumed you had gone back to the warehouse. I returned to find ruins. I couldn't find anyone else. I was all alone. You were gone, and the others... I could only assume the worst. Same as you did, apparently. I was displaced by the tragedy. I didn't have anywhere else to go. In my wandering, I discovered that I was an esper with the ability to mind-control others with my voice. I used my powers to survive, and Techno found me. I used my powers to grant him peace of mind. He was insane with bloodlust, but I could bring him back to himself. Philza found Techno and I. He adopted us. We became villains alongside our father because we wanted to.

"I found Niki first. The Syndicate had kidnapped her, and I discovered her identity. Jack came soon after. Apparently, the two of them had left soon after I went to look for both you and me. They told Tubbo to stay behind and watch out for Fundy. When they came back to the warehouse, it exploded. They were far enough away to where they didn't die, but they were hurt. Niki unlocked her abilities when she realized Jack's heart wasn't beating. Jack discovered his powers somewhere along the line, but he probably got them from the same traumatic incident. They started out as vigilantes, but they joined me in villainy.

"After realizing those two were alive, I started searching for the others. I found Tubbo, Fundy, and Eret. The night of the explosion, Eret came back, proclaiming that they were leaving the Hunters. When they only found Tubbo and Fundy, Eret stayed there with them. Tubbo kept complaining until Eret took him and Fundy outside to look for the rest of us. Eret and Fundy got separated from Tubbo. Eret heard about the explosion from the news. They stayed far away with Fundy, and Tubbo was found by the hero Red Dragon, who realized this was his foster brother's biological child. Red Dragon took Tubbo and Eret and Fundy stayed far away, hence why the rest of us didn't find them there."

"Are Eret and Fundy villains, too?" Tommy asks. As far as Tommy is aware, everyone in the Syndicate already has a civilian name. None of them can be Eret or Fundy.

"Not quite," Wilbur admits, wearing an expression Tommy thought he would never see again. It was the one Wilbur would wear when he wanted to explain something to Tommy in terms a toddler would understand. Tommy isn't a toddler, though, so he feels righteous outrage rise up in his chest. This expression of Wilbur's melts away, "I'll introduce you to them, soon. They'll be happy to meet you. I'm sure you'll be as surprised as they are."

Tommy shakes his head, his previous feelings disappearing underneath an ocean of melancholy. "I don't want to know. I don't want to see them."

"Why not?" Wilbur asks, genuine confusion rising in his eyes. Wilbur probably has no idea why Tommy has stayed so far away from him and the others. He respected Tommy's boundaries for as long as he could, but he probably has no idea why they were set in the first place. Maybe that's why he gave into his weakness so easily, but then again, Tommy knew the reasons and he gave in relatively quickly, too.

"Do you know how much shit I've done over the years to the Syndicate?" Tommy prompts. He has plotted the demise of the Syndicate's leaders. He was willing to kill every member he needed to in order to achieve that goal. He has fought against each member at least once. He's fought against Serenade more times than he has fingers on his hand. He's hurt his brother, and the unintentionality of it doesn't make it better.

"We've done just as much to you," Wilbur points out. Tommy has wounds from the Syndicate members. He has a few scars from them. He knows one that came from Serenade. Tommy doesn't want to think about them. He refuses to acknowledge that his family has hurt him in return when he was the one that prompted all of those fights.

"I used to be a Hunter and a hero," Tommy changes his tactics. In both positions, Tommy has caused a lot of harm, both to the Syndicate and to the city at large. He's hurt dozens. He's killed twice as many. He's stolen, blackmailed, and tortured for information and to get his missions done. He has taken orders from Reverie, one of the most dangerous people in the city, and from the guildmaster, someone the villains have a lot of turmoil with. If Philza is to be believed, the Syndicate was formed to oppose the corruption of the heroes, corruption Tommy willingly perpetuated in order to selfishly get what he wanted. And what he wanted was to kill two specific people.

"I don't fault you for anything," Wilbur claims. Serenade has committed a lot of heinous acts, too. He has done just as much as Tommy, probably more considering he didn't have a reputation of purity to uphold. His goals were morally better than Tommy's, but his means were no less dirty.

"I'm broken," Tommy offers. Right before Wilbur broke in, Tommy was lamenting that he couldn't sleep without a chain or another person with him. Earlier today, Tommy was feeling proud that he was able to eat an entire plate of food. He can barely scrounge up the energy to do anything most days. He requires Techno to take care of him like Tommy is a child incapable of remembering to eat, sleep, or bathe. Before Techno, Tommy was stubbornly holding onto his goals, allowing himself to fall into depravity and seriously unhealthy habits. His first instinct when discovering his family was alive was to push them all away and become the dead man they all thought he was. If Tommy isn't broken, he wants to meet the person who is.

"I think everyone is broken. I know I am," Wilbur counters. There is a reason most people consider Serenade to be insane. He has moments of irrationality that would scare off the average person. Even his own family have told him to reel it back several times. He broke into his brother's room to see him. He agreed to promise his life to Vendetta before he knew that it was Tommy behind the mask, and he even went so far as to demand a mirrored promise from Vendetta.

"I'm going to fucking ruin you," Tommy finally whispers. The real heart of his reasons to stay away from his family is the simple fact that Tommy doesn't want to drag them down to his level. They have worked hard to reform their lives. They have grown even taller than anyone thought a group of homeless kids would get. They strived and found their ambitions. They grieved Tommy, and they left that little kid behind. Tommy is the one who clung to the memory of his family. Tommy is the one that joined the notorious Hunters, the group he swore he would never join. Tommy is the one that became a hero, the institution his family hated because they were never saved by heroes. Tommy is the one that can't figure out how to function properly or how to make friends.

Wilbur puts his hands on Tommy's cheeks. He pulls Tommy close, kissing his cheeks and wiping away all the tears. Wilbur finally presses a kiss to Tommy's forehead. When he pulls back, he gives Tommy the largest smile he's ever worn. His eyes, however, are crazier than Serenade's ever were. There is something dangerously possessive in them, something that really makes Tommy believe Wilbur's claim that he was broken. Wilbur looks like a man staring at the sun, declaring he shall conquer even the brightest celestial bodies. Although he doesn't use his powers, his voice carries across the room with power and firmness. "How glorious it would be for me to be ruined by you."

Tommy tears fall down harder. He dives into Wilbur's chest, wrapping his arms around Wilbur's midsection. He hears ugly noises come out of his mouth. His chest burns painfully hot. He grabs Wilbur's shirt, guaranteeing that Wilbur can't leave him again. "I've missed you. Every day, every night, every fucking moment and thought and breath."

"Oh, sunshine, you must know that I've missed you more. You were my little brother, my little sunbeam," Wilbur hugs Tommy. His voice sounds wet with tears, and Tommy has never known his older brother to cry. Tommy feels horrible for making Wilbur cry, but another part of him feels so happy knowing that he isn't making the wrong choice by giving in. Wilbur missed him, too. Wilbur wants him back in his life as much as Tommy wants to be there.

"And you were my north star," Tommy admits. He feels Wilbur's grip tighten. He hears his brother's soft sobs right against his ear. Tommy laughs through his misery. He pulls back slightly, looking at his brother's teary face. Tommy presses his forehead against Wilbur's, closing his eyes. "I'm tired of being away from my family. I'm so fucking tired of missing you all. I want you back."

"You never have to say goodbye again," Wilbur promises, gently petting Tommy's hair. Tommy feels like a little kid again, but he leans into that feeling instead of retching away from it. He will do whatever he can to remain in Wilbur's arms. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Never again," Tommy agrees. He's going to stay with his family. He's going to love them with everything inside his heart. If he hurts them, he's going to make up for it like Tempestarius told him to because that's what people who love each other do. He's going to figure out what he wants beyond reconciliation with his family. He's going to really discover who he is.

Right now, though, Tommy puts his head on Wilbur's shoulder. He closes his eyes, feeling all of his exhaustion catch up with him. "Promise to be here when I wake up?"

"I promise," Wilbur says without a second of hesitation. Tommy imagines that Wilbur would promise him anything, even the entire city. He already has Wilbur's life in his hands. But Tommy's life is in Wilbur's hands, too, so Tommy easily closes his eyes and falls asleep against his brother's chest, reminding him of what they would do when he was younger.