I looked up in the mirror, finding a girl I didn't recognize. Puffy red eyes, huge black bags under the eyes, tears still streaming down, silent, pale skin, no makeup, and messy hair all tied up in a messier bun, ridiculously skinny.

"Anns?" Maddison walked into the room. She wasn't any better either. Her eyes were swollen too; she had black bags under her eyes too. "Darling, we have to look more presentable, it's for your mom." She whispered.

I nodded.

In the past 2 days, I had barely even spoken. Wait, barely wasn't the right word since I hadn't spoken, eaten, laughed, or moved at all. I just stared up at the ceiling.

Madds moved towards me, and picked up a compact from my dresser. She applied some on herself first evening the skin tone perfectly so her bags were covered. Then she applied some liner and mascara and chapped her lips-light, but enough. She was already dressed in a plain black dress that fell till her knees. It was sleeveless and had a white belt on her waistline.

"Turn around, let's fix you up." She ordered.

I turned.

She did the same for me, my bags were invisible now, she applied a little blush to my cheeks since I looked pale and chalk white. She straightened my hair, and combed it perfectly and let it loose. She wiped the tears from my eyes and moved on to apply liner and mascara for me too. Instead of chapping my lips, she put gloss since my lips were dry and lost their original pink shade.

Who knew so much could change in just a few days?

I waited for her to get my dress and then slipped into it. I turned back to face my mirror. Okay, surely I looked better. The bags were gone; I had rosy cheeks instead of chalk white skin. My hair looked set and in place. I wore a black dress, it was full sleeved, but the sleeves were all lacy. The dress stopped just above my knees and there was nothing else to it. I refused to accessorize myself.

"Okay. Ready?" Maddison asked, nervously.

I bobbed my head a 'yes'

She took my hand, and showed me out of my own room. As we descended the stairs, I saw Jeremy waiting for me. Finally! I let out a sigh. He was out of town with his dad, and he wasn't here when my mom...

I rushed down the stairs when my eyes locked with his, as if sensing my movement he opened his arms and I hopped into them. He hugged me tightly, without saying another word. People kept saying sorry and how I should be strong and a bunch of other stuff like how I made my mom proud. Gladly Jer wasn't one of them.

"Hey, don't cry okay. We don't need to ruin the mascara and look like a demon. I'm the physco stalking killer, you can't take my place. Or I'll throw a coconut on your head, and make sure you're out of the way, okay?"

I smiled.

A real one, after two whole days of mourning, finally, I let out a smile.

I snuggled closer to him, taking comfort in his arms.

Then I pulled apart to face him, and mouthed a thank you. He gave me a warm smile in return as if understanding.

Then I saw Ashton enter the house. He had stayed beside me the whole two days, and he'd left early today for making some arrangements for the funeral. It was as hard for him as it was for me. She was his mom too.

He looked pathetic.

He had swollen up eyes, just like mine, and dark circles due to lack of sleep. I would wake up middle of the night crying and he just couldn't sleep. He lay beside me, none of us speaking a word, just being there for each other how much ever we could. Even though we kept breaking down, I was his rock and he was mine.

I moved over to him, and hugged him, tightly, and this time not caring whether Mel saw it or not. That bitch couldn't do anything now. He responded by hugging me with equal force.

Then after what seemed like forever he spoke, for the first time.

"D-do you know w-what you're going to say on the f-funeral?" He whispered.

I shook my head, I didn't know what to say yet, and I couldn't get myself to write anything.

"W-we'll talk about her t-t-together?" I asked him, with pleading eyes.

I couldn't do that without him,

He nodded.

Almost everyone was there at the cemetery: Andy, Andrew, Lisa, Mason, Me, Ashton, Mel, Maddison and Jeremy. Then there was Ashton's mom, some of my mom's colleague's, her best friends, her boss, everyone who loved her was here.

I took a deep breath.

Mason was the first to move; he came over and hugged me.

"I love you; we'll get through this together." Mason said, and squeezed my shoulders.

I smiled, no, it wasn't fake it was real. All my friends all of them were so amazing, that they knew I don't need pity; I just needed assurance of people who still love me.

Andrew and Lisa told me they love me too, so did Andy! And it shocked me because he came even though we weren't that close friends. It was good, good to have people here.

"Okay, so Ms. Diana Summers would you like to share some words about your mother?"

I nodded, and started to make my way to the centre. I turned around to call Ashton, but, he beat me to it. He was beside me holding my hand.

I stood before the crowd full of people, some crying, some holding on, some here to pay respects, some here to support me, some who loved my mom, some who love me.

Lucy, Austin, Riley and Samantha were here too. Sure, the gang was separated, but they were here just like I had predicted. That's when I realized, how could I have missed this before?

My mom's family had abandoned here at the age of 18, she was pregnant and apparently a 'disgrace' to her family. All she had was my dad. They created their own world around me, working very hard so my future would be bright, yes, at the age of 18! My dad's parents also didn't support him, they had different plans for him but he chose to marry my mom, and he was left with only me and my mom. When we moved here, he passed away in a car accident.

The people who are here today, right now, facing me. They were there, they always had been, when my family needed support and friends, Ashton's mom had helped, my friends helped through my dad's death and grief. Ashton made my mom smile, and did everything for her just like her own son would.

They were my family, all of them.

I wasn't really alone; these were the people who loved me, supported me.

They were my family.

With a smile, I started.

Ashton squeezed my hand to reassure me that they were in this together.

"I-I, I'm really thankful to you all on my mother's behalf. She-she passed away early, yes, but she lived her life amazingly. She enjoyed every moment; she learnt to smile again after my dad all because of you people here. I'm sure, if she's here, listening she would want me to say this to you, that she loved you, and she always thought of you as family. My mom told me I was brought up in the best neighborhood ever, and now I see why. When I was little, around 2... We shifted here, mom told me that Ashton's mom had been a kind single woman and helped my family adjust in the neighborhood, it was all you Lily, and I'm sure mom would have wanted you to know how much you meant to her and our family." I continued while sniffling. "Ashton, you-you were more than family to my mom. All of you here today, you'll should know that my mom loved every single one of you, her family. It's sad that they didn't come here today-her parents. My mom was the sweetest, strongest most charming woman I have ever met. Her love changed a lot of lives and improved them. I miss her, already, I will always miss her, but being here today, it made me realize that I can't shut myself out of the world, I can't think that I am an orphan, because I'm not. I have an amazing family, and parents who both are looking after me from heaven. They are the brightest stars in the sky, and I know they'll always look after me. Always."

Everyone was in tears by then; Ashton was surprised that I managed it all by myself, however somewhere along the way Ashton grew just as close to my mom. It was his turn now, to let her go, to stop mourning

I stepped back, pushing him forward. He glared at me at first, but then let out a sigh.

"Amanda was not just Diana's mom, she was mine too. I have known her since I was 3, it's been a long time now, whenever my mom wasn't here to support me, Amanda being the love lady she was played that role. She made my life so much better and I can't even express how much she means to me in words. I didn't loose my best friend's mother today, I lost my own. I know she's up there, looking after me, just as she promises she would. I know she is. And if you're listening to me right now, I just want to let you know that I love you. I love you a lot; I always have, and always will. I promised you I will always take care of Diana, and I will. She has a family now, she's not alone."

Ashton ended.

There was a round of applause. Everyone seemed to love my mom, a lot.

"Diana, honey, I'm so proud of you today, you proved how trustworthy and how amazing you are. You represented your mom just like she is, you're a reflection of her, and she'd be so very proud of you today. You were confident, brave and you what you said up there, it's true, every single word of it. You're not going to be an orphan, Anna. You won't you'll be turning 16 soon, till then you could live with us, or where ever suits you. But, we're here for you don't forget. You're not alone. I'm sorry, sorry for the loss. I know it doesn't do good dear, but you need to hear it. I love you, Anna." Lily spoke up beside me.

Lily-Ashton's mom,

She is just as wonderful as my mom was.

"I love you too, Lily. And no, I don't mean to sound rude or anything, but I think I'm going to work as soon as I turn 16. I'll earn money and pay of the bills. I don't think I'm ready to leave the house just yet, would that be alright?"

"Sure honey. You make me proud. That's exactly what I expected you to say. Yes, you can work, work your heart out, and do as you wish. Just don't go on the wrong path. You need anything; I'm a few 10-15 steps away! Dinner, breakfast, and lunch, all should be taken at my house. We don't need you setting up a fire while trying to cook okay?" She warned.

I laughed. "Yes ma'am, everything under your conditions."

Lily was about to continue, but was called by someone else. She said sorry and had to leave.

"Anna? Is it okay if I stay over at yours tonight? You need it, and I need it too," said Madds.

I smiled. She was doing this for me. "Your house Madds, come, go, whenever you wish too. You're no one other than my sister, so it's your house too, understand?"

"I love you," she said, I smiling.

I was trying hard to smile, to be confident, to show how I didn't break. It wasn't easy, I was torn apart, literally torn apart. I didn't have feelings anymore, I didn't know what to feel? Love? Yes, there were people who loved me but MY PARENTS. Both of them were not, they were gone-just gone. Ashton, my bestfriend, my world, my life, my everything, my heart! He was in love, in love with Mel. Madds had Andrew, and Jer must have asked Christiana out by now. Everyone has someone, they are all happy.

Why can't I be happy?

Why did this happen to ME?

My thoughts were interrupted.

"Are you okay? I know you said you were fine, and I refuse to believe that. It's okay to break down, it's okay to let go, it's okay to feel the pain, its okay to mourn. Its okay, Anna, it really is," Said Jeremy.

"I-Jer- thank you. I need time. I said I have a family, but I loved my mom so, so, so, so, so much. She was a huge part of my life. She was my role model. She understood everything; she was always there for me. I lost my mom Jer. She's gone. I will never see her again; I will never feel her hugs. I won't have the meals she cooks anymore, I won't have anyone to shout at me and slap me if I did something wrong. She's gone Jer, Oh my gods she's gone. She-she she isn't h-here. I'll never see her. NEVER SEE HER AGAIN. My mom: my only family. I won't share the crazy I love you's I won't share any moments with her. Heck it's all gone. Over."

By the time I was done, I was whispering and crying into Jeremy's shoulder.

It took me some time to let it sink and bam it's out.

The ugly truth, that she is gone forever, and ever, and I will never be able to see her again, ever.