She hadn't replied. Jungkook knew she wouldn't. She must despise him so much that she probably hit the block and delete buttons immediately. What's that word...hate? Yes, she must've done it with so much hate and disgust...or she's probably laughing at his sorry ass -

"What's all this?" He looks up to find Jaehyun standing next to his seat. 

Eh? What a coincidence - what is he doing here? 

The guy took off his coat and rest it on the next stool beside - all the while frowning at the 5 glasses on the bar. "You asked me to come and drink with you but you didn't even wait?"

Oh...I did, didn't I?

"Gin...on rocks," He calls out to the bartender - who in Jungkook's opinion, looks like a slightly buffed version of Lee Dong-Wook. 

Funny, he didn't look like Lee Dong-Wook when Jungkook first got there!

"So what's goin on? This is so...unlike you,"

I'm drowning my sorrows...but he didn't have to know that. 

"I'm drowning my sorrows," Oops -

"What?" Jaehyun chuckled, and it makes him feel a bit angry. Was it funny...or is Jaehyun deaf?

"I said I'm drowning my sorr -"

Jaehyun cupped his mouth almost immediately before looking around. It jolted him a little as he instinctively slapped the hand away, then he slumped back to face the bar.

"Don't shout like that - damn!"

His phone screen lights up and he grabs it immediately. No...just another email. Jungkook rolled his eyes and slammed back the phone flat on the surface - imagining sending it to the abyss, along with billions of unwanted messages and emails. 

"Come on then, talk to me," Jaehyun sipped the drink from his glass.

I mean...what's there to talk about? It's only been 2 weeks since they last hung out at the club -

The club...the dance...Lisa's hand in his, and Lisa's body leaning on him...then Lisa's soft fingers on his neck as he kissed her...she tastes so sweet that night.

"I feel like I'm dying,"

"What - you feel sick or something?"

"No..." He shook his head and sulked. "My heart...it feels heavy like...like all the time! I don't know what to do,"

"Well," The guy turned to him. "Did you see a doctor? Specialist?"

"There's no cure. I've checked online. The only cure they said was time - like, what the fuck does that even mean? ...You know?"

"I don't. I don't even know what you're talking about - what the hell Gook! Pull yourself together and...shit, are you really sick?? I can take you to a specialist - let's go now -"

"I lost Lisa," Jungkook leaned his forehead on his arm - resting firmly on the bar. Jaehyun sat back down and he heard a small sigh. "I think I'm in love with her. And I lost her,"

"Okay...when did this happen?"

"The next day -"

Jaehyun choked in his glass and Jungkook looks up, glaring at the guy. 

"Sorry -" Jaehyun wiped his mouth and dipped his head. "That's uh...that quick huh?"

Jungkook knew what he meant. The smirk implied as though Jungkook was so bad in bed that she had left so quickly. Yeah...he was stupid but he wasn't THAT stupid. Or maybe he is - "Yahh it wasn't like that!!"

"Okay, what's it about then - jeez! 5 drinks and you can't take a joke -"

"5 drinks and I could still knock you cold!" 

"Oh, that, I believe! So tell me...how did you lose her?"

Jungkook hated having to think about the event all over again. He wanted so much to forget about that afternoon...on how he shouted at her...the things he said to her...how he cried for her as he ran downstairs to try and find her...only to go back up helplessly and cry again. Crying in his office. Crying at the balcony and then on the sofa. Crying while eating the sandwich she made for him at his kitchen island, and then back in the office - just so much crying!

"I misunderstood something. And I accused her of things. I called her names and I cursed at her. I asked her to leave. And I lost her," It sounded so simple...so different than what it actually was.

"Mmm...did you tell her you're sorry?"

"I did. I texted her but she's not replying -"

"Gook, you know you shouldn't text an apology! At least give her a call -"

"She's not picking up. I went to her apartment too - waited like a freaking stalker for 4 days straight. I couldn't find her,"

"There must be a better way...does Bam know about this? She's his friend right?"

"He's on his honeymoon so he can't do much. That's how I got the address and her number. I called him and told him about it over soju...he almost punched me but I think he thought I'd beat his ass after. I wouldn't have, you know? Not over Lisa,"

He recalled the brief meeting with Bambam 4 days after the incident, the night before the guy flew to France for his honeymoon. His wife was she overheard Jungkook mentioning Lisa's name. She told him about the call - which had him contemplating whether he should throw himself off the 17th-floor balcony of Bambam's apartment.

Damn it - he's a complete clown!! It was about their freaking wedding pictures - and he made it all about him! And even up until now...3 weeks after...Lisa must've been laughing so hard at his pathetic attack - more if she read all his sorry-ass messages!

"Wow...you really are in love with this girl huh?"

"I just...I just need...aish - I don't know! I just need more time with her...like maybe - I thought maybe she'd like me too if she sees me every day -"

"The fuck you're talking about? Of course she likes you - she was clinging and staring at you the entire time at the club! Everyone who's not blind could see that -"

"She said I'm adorable,"

"Okay, this - this is where I'll draw the line! Gook, I swear - if you start saying cheesy shit I will leave you here -"

Jungkook laughed sheepishly to Jaehyun's annoyed state. After a few, he sighed and looked down at his knotted fingers.

"There must be a way...do you know where she likes to go? A place she always hangs out maybe?" Jungkook shook his head. "Things she likes?"

She likes cats. And that favorite spicy ramyeon. I don't know which brand of packed kimchi she likes but she likes it with her favourite spicy ramyeon. What else...oh yeah...she likes that little girl's photograph she took in Gangnam...and some Glen Moray for when it's cold.

...

Lisa huffed as she got into the cab, her palms sore from the heavy lifting of her luggage earlier. She rubs on the red center, then took out her phone to switch the mobile data network. The 2 weeks she had spent in Brisbane was nice. The calm city seemed to welcome her pitiful presence. She walked alone most of the time and not a single soul came in her way.

She got to go to the beach in Gold Coast...feel the warm salt air, brushing away her silent grief. She tried out the surfing classes and managed to stand straight on the board once. She took a lot of pictures too, even though every clicking sounds reminded her of her baby. 

Yeah...she pulled through. She has to - her parents were there so she had to appear well...happy. Which is a good thing because it pushes her to move forward, just like before. Life goes on right? She kept telling herself that maybe if she acts happy enough, she'll eventually be okay again. She's not there yet...but she'll get there. Yeah...

The notifications started buzzing in. Lisa scans through her inbox, mentally locking the ones she should prioritize on replying once she's all freshen up at home. Because reading in the car will make her dizzy and because she's too lazy to respond to anything at the moment. Let's see...

Jennie unnie - okay, I have to reply to her first no matter what or she might kill me! Chaeyoung...hmm...it's probably about the plan for dinner and the sleepover. She'd been whining about her rich boyfriend since earlier this month. I'm supposed to see her 2 weeks ago...but I just didn't have the energy to go out and socialize. Fine, I'll reply to her next!

Jisoo unnie, asking if I can make it to her niece's birthday. Aww...Hayul's the cutest - of course I'll come! Black/Pink's groupchat - okay, this might need some time for me to read. Who knows what they're talking about in there, I may need time to digest. But since all 3 of them are in the group, maybe I should just reply in there instead!

She typed a quick 'Whats up, I'm back bitches! And Jennie unnie *insert lips emoji* & Jisoo unnie *insert heart emoji*'. She giggled to herself, already imagining Chaeyoung's over-the-top, dramatic reply later! She's the sweetest, really...which makes it even more exciting for Lisa to tease!

Okay, what else...work, work, an unknown number asking if she does fashion photography, work - okay, all work-related can wait until tomorrow! Iaheen Gallery? Wait...all two artworks sold?! Wow...must be from a new business owner, looking for some decorations on the walls of their office -

Lisa exited the window with a smile on her face...and the smile disappeared the moment she saw the next message. It's from Lig Art Space. Her heartbeat picks up and her fingers started shaking. Do they know? They must've checked the CCTV and knew it was her that night. 

Shit - what about Jung -

'Hello Lalisa-ssi. I tried calling you, but it seems that you're out of reach at the moment. I would like to give you the good news. The artwork 'Courage of a Girl' was sold yesterday evening and have been picked up this morning, congratulations and we thank you for your hard work! As per our agreement, we would like to invite you to the meeting with Good People, the charity house you assigned us to. We will have the cheque ready, and we hope you can be there with us to celebrate the joyful occasion. Do let us know if you can make it on 30th October at 3pm. We look forward to hearing from you!'

Lisa stared at the message, scanning and re-scanning each line to make sure she understood it correctly.

My little girl...my best work...is sold? It's not hanged so lonely on the wall anymore? It's...finally...

A bittersweet smile slowly curved upon her lips as she leans her head back and sighs. Finally, someone who appreciates the pain, just how she did. Lisa's finally doing her part in helping for the better, and it makes her heart feels warm and happy...so happy that she could jump up and dance if it wasn't because she in the back of a cab!

She contemplates replying immediately but decided to wait until tomorrow morning. Of course, she'd love nothing more than to be meeting the people from the charity house she selected! They're the ones who'll be making the changes with the 6.5 million won donated by the purchase. They'll help the less-fortunate community in Gangnam...and the little girl! 

Wow...this is really...truly a blessing I needed to feel! 3 works sold within 2 weeks...aish - and there I was being sad and shit -

'I hope you're well. I hope you can forgive me. I know it might be hard, but I really hope one day you can. I've been going crazy...missing you, cursing myself every single day for my stupidity. I was a jerk. And I know you hate me now. But please, please forgive me. I need you back. I need that night back. I just need to see you, please give me a chance to see you. Please'

She held her breath upon reading the message from the unknown number. She scrolls up to another set of text.

'I miss you. Please reply to me. Please...you can shout at me as much as you want. You can hit me too. Just reply me'

And another,

'I'm sorry! I'm sorry about last night's messages please don't read it! Or maybe you had and you laughed at it and I don't mind but please don't pay much attention to it! I beg you!'

What? Oh, a voice message -

'Babyyy...Lisa-siii...I was typing but my fingers are weird...how are you, are you well? Are you healthy? Are you sleepinggg? Lisaaa I miss your voice...and your laugh...I miss you. I miss youuuu come back to me please...come back to me now - I need you to come back now! Do you miss me like I miss you? Please say yes...if you don't say anything I'll take it as a yes. And if you reply then it's a yes too. So please say yes'

Is this...did he send this while he was drunk? Another text before that,

'Ok, if you reakky hate me that mych, then fine6 I've saif all I can to show yoi I care bout yiu but its noy enough, mayb i shold just doe now'

'Replyme Llisaa'

'I tgikn Im dyingh I needs yiu to help me'

'i miss you sp mugh it hurtd'

'Lisaaaaa'

Okay...what in the world - 

'I was a jerk and a coward. I just like you so much and I was so scared that morning. I shouldn't have said all those things and I can't say anything to justify my actions aside from being honest with you now. I was so afraid and all the while, I wanted it to be wrong. I wanted you to tell me I was wrong. I know it's wrong for me to ask that of you. I should've checked properly, I shouldn't have jumped into things and hurt you so much like that and I'm so, so sorry! More than you know. Please...please talk to me'

And another,

'I'm out of my element here. Just like I was the night we met. You intimidate me and I felt like I wasn't enough. I was constantly worried if I was saying or doing the right things, all night long. All I could think of was how beautiful and amazing you are and how undeserving I was to be next to you. I wanted to please you, to impress you. Lisa, I wanted to impress you so much that I even stupidly brought you on a tour of my house! Please believe me'

She scrolls all the way up to the first message.

'Hi. I'm sorry to interrupt your day like this. I hope it had gone well. I wanted to apologize. Well, I wanted to say a lot of things...explain to you and apologize for my inconsiderate attacks. But for now, please know that I didn't mean a word of what I said that day. I was so wrong and so stupid, I know. You are not like what I said. I'm sorry for what happened, I was just really scared and I took it out on you. I shouldn't have, I know. I hope you can forgive me and I hope we can meet. I really need to see you. Please Lisa. Please give me another chance. I just need one more chance to prove to you that I'm better than that. Please'

She then started reading the rest. It's clear that Jungkook was going through all kinds of reactions since his first text. Where did he get her number anyway? Nevermind that for now - the one thing that's apparent is that he had been desperately reaching out and searching for a way to fix the mess he created. And for some reason, it makes her heart squeeze.

'Hi Jungkook. I'm sorry, I was out of town and I -' Oh no...delete...

'Hello asshole. Good to see you're begging desperately now. Here's a thought, maybe you should shove that apology up your spoilt, rich ass -' Mmm...too harsh maybe?

'Hello Jungkook. Thank you for the many desperate apologies. It makes me feel a little better to know that you regretted what you did. I have my regrets too. I shouldn't have allowed myself to get swayed so easily and spend the night with you. I thought I saw something in you, but I was wrong -' Okay, now you're just lying to yourself...and him! Start over!

'Hello Jungkook. Thank you for apologizing. It does make me feel a little better to hear this from you. I have my regrets too. I should've said something but I was too scared when I saw you being so angry over something I have no control of. I didn't exactly know what I did that was so wrong to a point you shouted at me. I knew it was a misunderstanding and I knew we needed to be apart in order to think clearly. I don't hate you. I thought I did when you destroyed my camera so impulsively. That was really harsh and you need to pay me back for the loss. It doesn't cost much, I think your TV remote is more expensive than my camera. I'll let you know the price once I have it. As for your need to see me, yes, let's do that'

She smiled to herself, happy with her tone and speech.

He's been missing me...as much as I've missed him. Well...maybe he missed me more since I wasn't the one who's out sending drunk texts and voice notes! 

She chuckled to herself. She already knew she'd be spending her night listening to his voice message over and over again! The look on his face as he was holding her up in his arms - holding her tightly and securing her body on him - vividly appeared in her mind. 

Those eyes bear our hearts and souls, even for one night. He was a kind, gentle, wonderful man. And her...

A lump of emotion started appearing, constricting her throat and threatening the clear vision in her eyes. The same small voices pipe up, telling her to not fall again. 

It will only end up the same. I'm paying for a life lost...and so I don't deserve it. This will hurt me...and maybe hurt him more. And I don't want that. I can't live with that burden. One is already enough...

This will pass...right?

...