Stay gold Ponyboy, stay gold...

Those are the words that keep replaying in my head. Loosing Johnny wasn't worth any risk.

I hate myself more and more everyday nobody cares anyways. I heard a knocking on my door and look over to it.

Darry and Soda walk in. "Hey Pony..." Soda greeted.

I pasted a fake smile on my face and waved. "Hi."

Soda smiled and sat next to me on the bed with Darry following him. "How ya feeling?" Soda asked me soothingly.

"I'm good. Thanks." I lied. The truth was I wasn't good and I hadn't been for awhile now. I don't think I'll ever be good again. The word has no meaning to me. Almost like it never existed.

"Alright I'm just checking on ya." He said and patted my head.

"Come on Dar we gotta get to work." Was all Soda said before they left and I was home alone.

It was summer vacation and all I ever wore was long sleeves and got a reason I shouldn't even have to explain but the group didn't tell that I was hurting...nobody cares to listen anyways.

I walked downstairs and TwoBit came in. Ugh there goes my alone time... I sighed.

"Hi TwoBit."

"Mornin Pony what brings you to the Curtis house hold?" He gave me a geeky grin.

I didn't feel like having a conversation today nor do I ever so I was thinking of ways to get out of this one.

"I don't feel good so Imma get some rest."

I ran upstairs and closed the door and looked around my-sorry Soda's room. I don't deserve a place in this house I'm worthless anyways.

I walk into my old bedroom and look at my bed. I don't deserve a bed. I don't deserve anything except to die.

I lay on the green carpet and fall into a horrible sleep.

~Dream~

"Ponyboy you killed me. How could you?! How could you let this happen to me?! We were friends! I hate you Ponyboy Curtis!" Johnny yelled at me.

"I-I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you!" I cried and tried to grab him but he shoved me to the ground.

"This is for killing me!" He said pushing me off the ledge.

"I hate you Ponyboy Curtis!" Kept repeating in my head.

~End Of Dream~

"Ponyboy wake the fuck up!" Steve was shaking me.

"Huh!" I yelled shooting up and slamming into Steve.

"God damnet Ponyboy can't you stop hurting people." TwoBit laughed.

I wish I could...but I can't. I wanted to say that but it never came out.

"So why are you in here?" Steve asked.

I shrugged. I didn't have an answer to that.

"Well Superdope called he'll be home soon...so go make yourself useful."

I nodded and they left. I wish I could make myself useful but I'm worthless anyways so what's the point in that? I'm alone now anyways...

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So how was the first chapter? Good? Bad? Some feedback would be nice :))) Thanks for reading!

$tay Ğold,
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