Season 4, Episode 10:  Glee Actually

Ownership of Glee:  FOX, Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, Brad Falchuk

/ / /

An angry Artie wheels past Finn and Angie.

"Whoa... hey, dude, are you all right?" Finn asks.

Angie sees the injury. "Whoa, wh-wh-what happened to your face?"

"I fell, okay? The stupid janitor didn't put salt on the ramp, like he's supposed to, and my wheels don't have chains, so I slipped backwards and tipped over on the ice. It's fine. It's nothing." Artie remarks.

"No, no, no, no... hey, hey, hey. That's not nothing. That's some pretty serious road rash." Finn says.

"Let us take you to the nurse's office, all right?" Angie offers.

Artie says nothing as the two wheel him to the nurse's office.

/ / /

"You hit your head pretty hard. I'm going to go call your mother. Lay down till she gets here." The nurse says and walks out of the office.

"Want me to help you get up on the cot?" Angie asks her brother.

"No. I don't want anybody to help me with anything. I'm tired of being so helpless, I'm tired of everybody pitying me, and I'm tired of being in this damn chair." Artie snaps.

Angie sighs. "Artie we just want to help you."

"Anyone could have fallen on the ice, all right?" Finn says.

"Yeah, but they could've gotten back up, instead of laying there screaming for help until some freshman girl showed up." Artie bites back.

"Dude, don't bite our heads off. But you need some rest, so I'm going to help you out, all right?" Finn says and gets Artie onto the cot.

Artie sighs. "I just wish I was never in that dumb chair."

Finn nods. "I know, buddy. I know."

That's the last thing Artie hears before he slips into sleep.

/ / /

~ Artie's Dream ~

Artie wakes up to find himself wearing a McKinley letterman jacket... and his legs are working.

Artie runs down the hall to find Tina. "Tina! Look. Can you believe it?" He asks.

"Be-Believe what?" Tina stutters.

"Why are you stuttering again?" Artie asks in confusion.

"She never stopped because you never became friends." A familiar Irish accent says from behind Artie.

"Rory?! What are you doing here? And talk slowly, so I can understand you." Artie tells his friend.

Rory smiles. "I'm your Christmas guardian angel. And I've granted your wish. Your car accident never happened. You were never in that dumb chair."

"That's insane." Artie retorts.

"Don't believe me? Ask Becky." Rory says.

Becky is in a Cheerios uniform... sporting a baby bump. "Merry Christmas, stud. Want to fool around? I can't get pregnant."

"What? No." Artie says and walks away from her.

"Becky's the school slut now. No one treats her with any respect." Rory informs.

"But I do. I took her on a date." Artie remembers.

Rory shakes his head. "No, you didn't. You were too busy throwing losers in Dumpsters to give her any attention or treat her with kindness, and as a result, she never learned any self-respect."

Artie pales when he sees Finn, Mike, Sam, Puck and Karofsky messing with Kurt.

"Hey! Hey, Kurt! Nice cape! Who are you supposed to be... Super Homo?" Finn sneers with a cackle.

"What are you guys doing?" Artie asks.

Finn smirks. "Just having some fun with Little Lord Gay Boy." He answers.

"But you guys aren't straight douche bags. You sang Lady Gaga songs." Artie informs.

"Keep telling those dirty lies, and we'll break your friggin' legs." Puck spits before he and Finn walk off with Karofsky.

Artie helps Kurt gather his things. "Kurt, didn't you graduate?"

"I should've, but I couldn't bear coming to school more than twice a week, because of all the bullying. All the homeschooling set me back a year." Kurt says.

"What does Blaine say about that?" Artie asks.

"Who's Blaine?" Kurt asks.

Artie pales.

When Kurt walks away, Rory walks up to Artie. "Since glee club never happened, Kurt never met Blaine. They never got together." Rory explains.

/ / /

Artie walks into the Spanish room, sighing in relief when he sees Will.

"Mr. Shue, thank God you're here. We need to call an emergency meeting of the glee club." Artie says.

"What glee club? I couldn't get enough of you brats interested to get that lame idea off the ground." Will slurs.

Terri walks up, holding a baby doll. "Will, I need your paycheck before you blow it all on booze and flannel shirts. Sheets and Things is having a big Christmas sale, and we desperately need an air purifier for our moldy garbage heap of an apartment."

"That's a doll." Artie points out.

"Shh! He's so drunk he doesn't know the difference." Terri says and then laughs. "You're cute."

"Where's Miss Pillsbury?" Artie asks.

"In Hawaii. With her dear, sweet husband Coach Tanaka. It's a match made in heaven, right, honey?" Terri asks her husband.

"That's right." Will nods and hands Terri his paycheck.

/ / /

Artie is shocked when he walks into the library to see... "Rachel? What are you doing here? You live in New York. You go to the most prestigious drama school in the country."

Rachel sighs. "Well, I am gonna be in the Lima Community Players' production of The Music Man."

"Tell me you're at least playing Marian the Librarian." Artie says.

Rachel shakes her head. "No, that's the lead. I'm just in the chorus. Excuse me." She says.

Artie grabs Rachel's wrist. "Rachel... what's going on?" He asks.

"Let go of me!" Rachel states.

"What happened you? What happened to all of us?" Artie asks.

Rachel starts shouting.

Artie runs out of the library and bumps into his sister.

"Watch where you're going." Angie snaps. She's in a Cheerios uniform.

"Angie what's wrong with everyone?" Artie asks.

Angie laughs. "You must've hit your head lil bro. What's wrong with you? Oh... I heard from Sam that you were telling lies about him and the other guys. Lay off my White Chocolate."

"But you're married to Finn." Artie says adamantly.

Angie laughs coldly. "You think I'd ever want to date or marry the quarterback just because I'm the head cheerleader? No. No way. He's too dumb."

"But you love him." Artie insists.

Sam strides down the hallway. "Hey. Are you messing with my girl? Dude, I know she's your sister, but back off."

Angie smiles. "Thanks babe." She says and pecks his lips.

Artie walks off, completely disgusted.

/ / /

Artie walks to the auditorium. "Rory! Rory, where are you?" He asks.

"What's wrong?" Rory asks.

"What's wrong?! Everything. How can everything be so messed up?" Artie asks.

"You weren't in a wheelchair, so you were too busy playing football to join Glee. It turns out... you were the glue of Glee, Artie. The quiet, steady, beating heart of the group. No glue... no Glee." Rory answers.

"I can fix this. I can. I'll get them all back together. Just you watch, I'll fix it." Artie says determined.

/ / /

Artie gathers the altered New Directions in the choir room.

"You're probably wondering why I've asked you all to meet me in the choir room." Artie says.

"This is Coach Sue's craft room." Kitty corrects.

"Well, in an alternate universe, it was the choir room." Artie states.

"I had a dream about that once." Rachel claims.

Artie nods. "I know. And it was a place that always made me feel safe. And I know it did for a lot of you, too. That's 'cause we danced together, we sang together, we took turns up here. Like Finn said, it's about the love of the music."

"Dude, are you high? I never said that." Finn claims.

"You sound even more delusional than you already are." Angie says from her spot next to Sam.

"Why don't you just show us what you mean?" Rachel insists.

Artie breaks out into 'Feliz Navidad.'

[Feliz Navidad by Artie]

No one says or does anything.

"That was so gay." Finn states.

Sam looks to Angie. "C'mon babe. We'll both be late for practice."

The running back and head Cheerio walk out together.

"Artie's acting weird. Says I'm supposed to be love with Hudson." Angie states.

Sam raises an eyebrow. "That's weird. But you'd never go for another guy would you?" He asks.

Angie smiles. "Sam, sweetie, I love you and you only. No one's going to take away what we have. Now let's go before Sue and Beiste have our heads for being late."

Sam smiles and kisses her. "I love you."

Angie smiles as she kisses back. "I love you too Sam."

/ / /

Artie sees a wheelchair by the trophy case in the hallway.

"Is that mine?" He asks Rory.

"No. It's Quinn's. Without the encouragement and support from you and her friends in Glee, Quinn was never able to walk again after her accident." Rory states.

"Wait a minute, if there was no Glee Club, there was no Fangela wedding for her to drive home from, so..." Artie trails off.

"Quinn texts and drives in every timeline, Artie." Rory tells him.

"Okay. Why isn't she in it?" Artie questions.

"She died." Rory informs.

Artie looks upset. "How?"

Rory shrugs. "Of a broken heart. Much like her body, her spirit never recovered."

Artie plucks the white rose from the chair and sits in it, wheeling down the hallway.

~ End of Artie's Dream ~

Artie wakes up from his dream having a newfound love for his wheelchair.

As long as he never sees that horrible alternate universe ever again.

/ / /

Angie and Finn spend their first Christmas as a married couple together.

They have a small dinner for the both of them, and just spend the day in each other's company.

Angie smiles as she snuggles up to Finn on the couch, the fireplace lit with a cozy fire.

"Our first Christmas has been... perfect." Angie states.

Finn chuckles and kisses her head. "It has been. And we'll have plenty more just like this one." He promises.

Angie smiles. "Merry Christmas Finn."

Finn smiles as he cuddles her closer. "Merry Christmas Angie."

/ / /

The New Directions in Lima — along with Kurt and Blaine in New York — sing 'Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.'

[Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by Klaine and New Directions]

/ / /

1746 words

Songs Mentioned/Performed
1. Feliz Navidad - Artie
2. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - New Directions and Klaine

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