Don't date broken girls, my mother had warned me.

"But they deserve to be loved too." I had argued back.

And so I loved a broken girl more than anything; I just didn't realize she would break me too.

It's been a while now of us not talking, of me distracting myself with Brynn, but I still miss the way she said my name. I wanted to take her breath away, make her heart race only for me. But I wasn't her one.

They say there's beauty in sadness but I don't think so, at least not like this. When it's 3 am I'm alone and alcohol is the only thing that helps me sleep.

I never really knew how much the heart breaks until I was lying next to you and you were thinking about someone else. No one warned me that heartache doesn't always have someone to blame. Sometimes it's no one's fault. It's probably all mine.

I'm caught somewhere between moving on and holding on, not knowing which one I can handle best. I feel messy, uneasy, and I just don't understand how one small broken girl with pretty eyes could destroy an empire inside me just by walking away.

I'm with Brynn but we can't talk for hours. All I do is think about how she felt in my arms. My dreams are always of her, but every time I close my eyes she belongs to someone else.

So I'm trying to stop loving you, I built walls around my heart, I've found another name to whisper in the night, rather than admit my hearts a little swollen from losing something that wasn't even mine.

But she carved herself into my veins whether she meant to or not. Sometimes I wonder if she remembers the way we looked at each other, or maybe it was just me who was seeing forever in her eyes.

In the end it all matters, the butterflies I feel for her, this distance that I'm creating, all this longing. The grief lies in the space between us. It's made a home in the nights we don't speak and the days I ignore her.

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"What the fuck was that Tae?" Brynn questions when we separate away from the others.

"What?" I ask playing dumb.

Brynn shoots me a glare, I know she's not gonna drop this. Over the last few weeks, I've gotten to learn what kind of girl she is. She's suspicious, clingy, high maintenance, but she's also a good distraction on lonely nights.

"You know what I'm talking about Tae! What's up with you and that girl?" she says pointing to Jelly who's kissing Kook. My eyes roll as I see them and I laugh.

"You're crazy is showing Brynn. Nothing is up with me and that girl, I barely know her." I say shrugging my shoulders, reaching into the cooler to grab a beer.

Brynn huffs taking the beer from my hand angrily and drinks it. I sigh grabbing another one for myself as she still looks at me waiting for me to say more.

What am I supposed to tell her? That I was trying to make Jelly jealous? That I'm deeply in love with her? That I regretted calling her Hun because that was Jelly's nickname, and the hurt on her face was unmistakable when she heard me call Brynn. 

That I was hoping, her seeing me with someone else could spark some romantic feelings in her? I couldn't do that, Brynn would most definitely lose her shit and cause a scene.

"Let's go back, you're overreacting," I grab her around the waist again pulling her close to me as we walk back.

We spent the afternoon with the others eating and drinking, I couldn't help but notice how close Kook and Jelly were.

He wasn't all over her like i expected, he just gave her soft gentle touches, holding her hand letting her know he was there while he laughed with Joon and she spoke with Yoongi and Jin.

It was eating me, I knew I was causing my own suffering at this point, but I couldn't just be her friend...

Jin was causing a commotion, something about going fishing. I got up excusing myself saying I needed the bathroom and dipped inside the house.

I couldn't keep faking my smile, the words she shouted at me earlier haven't left my head this whole time.

I didn't know what to say to her, but when she again said she missed her best friend I was angry and it was better for me to just leave and not say anything. 

I'm resting back against the couch when I feel a pair of arms surround me from behind and smell a strong vanilla scent. I sighed knowing it was Brynn, she always sprayed too much perfume basically drowning in the too-sweet smell.

I force a smile on my face again as she leans down peppering my neck with kisses.

"Let's go to bed now?" She asks her voice low and seductive.

I follow her into the room and let her distract me from the drama of the day.

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We're all out on a hike that Joon insisted we do, well everyone except Brynn who said she couldn't be caught dead hiking with all the bugs and sweat that would be involved with it. 

The hike was great, the only problem is we can't go back down the way we came up, instead, we have to climb down part of the cliff.

Joon knew all along thinking it would be fun but now everyone is down at the bottom besides Jelly, Jimin and Jin. The damn 3 J's have decided there's no way in hell they're going to free climb down.

"GUYS IT'S PERFECTLY SAFE!" Joon shouts up to them, trying to get them to come down.

"THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY, YOU DUMB GIANT! IT ONLY TOOK YOU LIKE THREE STEPS CAUSE YOU'RE SOO TALL!" Jelly shouts back down to Joon.

"IT'S NOT OUR FAULT YOU AND JIMIN ARE MIDGETS!" Kook yells back up to them, with a loud laugh.

"YOU'RE SLEEPING ALONE TONIGHT!"

I watch annoyed as Kook's face drops. "I'M ONLY JOKING BABE! YOU'RE THE TALLEST!" He says while the others snicker beside him.

"What a tool," I mumble watching him try and appease her.

"YOU GUYS HAVE TO COME DOWN IT'S THE ONLY WAY!" Hobi shouts.

"WHAT IF I DAMAGE MY BEAUTIFUL FACE?! WE CAN'T COUNT ON YOU UGLY GUYS TO PULL IN CUSTOMERS FOR THE SHOP!" Jin yells down.

"GET YOUR ASSES DOWN NOW! I'M TIRED AND WANT TO GO HOME!" Yoongi finally snaps.

Jimin is the first to move, too scared to argue with Yoongi he slowly makes his way down, shaking when he finally reaches the ground he shouts back up to the other two that it wasn't too bad.

Jin and Jelly stay talking to each other before Jin is the next to climb down. Triumphantly shouting that it was cake and she can do it no problem. Jelly frozen at the top still refusing to come down.

"Of course she's gonna cause a fucking problem," I say apparently a little too loudly because Yoongi snaps his head in my direction.

"JELLY STOP BEING A PUSSY AND COME DOWN, I'M HUNGRY AND WE CAN'T LEAVE WHILE YOU'RE STUCK UP THERE! YOU COWARD!" Dani shouts.

"That's not a very nice thing to say, baby," Hobi says to Dani, scolding her playfully.

"I'LL BE RIGHT HERE TO CATCH YOU IF YOU FALL, BABE," Kook says, reassuring her as she slowly starts to lean herself over the cliff.

"THAT'S MY GIRL!" Kook says a huge smile on his face as he watches her.

"I'm over this guys I'll meet you all back at the lodge," I say.

"By yourself? Just wait for us so you're not alone," Joon says confused with my attitude.

"No, I'll be alright, I need to check on Brynn anyways."

"I'll go with him, I'm tired and this is taking a long time," Yoongi says patting my back and motioning for me to follow him.

"Shoot a text when you guys make it back!" Jin says as he waves us bye.

"That was so dumb right?" I say breaking our silence as we walk along the path.

"You on your period?" Yoongi asks.

"Fuck right off Yoongi, I'm just annoyed I'm tired and she was being dramatic making everyone stay there and wait for her," I spit out at him angrily.

"I can't tell if you're brave or really fucking stupid," Yoongi says. "But I'm only going to say this once, you keep this bullshit up and we're gonna have a serious problem."

"I know you think you're her fucking keeper but this has nothing to do with you," I scoff walking in front of him to leave him behind.

Yoongi grabs my arm stopping me from turning my back to him. "That girl has been through enough without having to deal with you acting like an asshole because you can't handle your feelings Taehyung. Grow up and get your shit together," Yoongi says sternly dropping my arm leaving me behind instead.

I angrily walk the rest of the way back to the house, when I walk into my room I see Brynn on her phone watching youtube videos. I lay on the bed beside her, rolling over to hold her waist trying to gain some comfort.

"Tae, you stink go take a shower," she complains, pushing my arm off of her.

I frown at her behavior but get up to shower nonetheless. When I step out of the shower my attention gets pulled to outside the window.

The guys have all come back, Jelly is clinging to Kook's back laughing at something he's saying, her eyes are lit with pure happiness and that's when it finally clicks, I've lost... she'll never look at me how she's looking at him.

I'll let her go, I'll see her when I see her, I'll still love her when I do but for now goodbye to her. Goodbye to all the things I can't keep holding on to.

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

I couldn't make Tae truly horrible he's just going about this totally wrong. Love makes people do dumb things My Little Coconuts!

Let me know your thoughts I love hearing them.

This chapters quote was brought to you by:

Seventeen - Don't Wanna Cry

Just like the last chapter but this quote fit him.

As always I Love You all! Stay Safe!