I've stayed at San's for a whole day. While he and Yunho spent the rest of the night with Wooyoung, the other boys came over. None of us could sleep when one was ruining his life and drowning in it.

We gathered in the living room and sat in silence for good fifteen minutes, not ready to bring up anything that'd happened earlier. I looked like a mess. My cheeks were red from the dried tears, hair tangled in something that could hardly resemble a bun, and hands tucked underneath the oversized T-Shirt San had lent me. Seonghwa made coffee. An unspoken tension lingered between us, waiting for the three boys to finally come back. So many things needed to get sorted out.

"Well," Jongho coughed quietly, and everybody looked at him. "Can I ask what actually happened? This is so uncomfortable." Then their gaze moved to me. I didn't want to talk. One thing was to bring it all back in my head (a horrible idea if you ask me), but saying it out loud? It'd sound stupid. I sipped from my cup, hoping I'd come up with the right words, but fortunately, I didn't have to. The door opened, and San came in with concern in his eyes, holding Woyoung by his forearm.

He looked even worse - eyes dark as if he put ash around them, hair messy, hands bruised, and clothes stained by whatever alcohol he drank after I left. And my heart pained once again.

"Would you be that heart and tell us what the hell happened to you?!" Hongjoong stormed first, standing up from his seat and walking to the boy. I flinched, scared he might do something reckless. But Wooyoung stayed silent, his eyes pouring into mine as a faint sigh slipped his lips. "What did you do to her?!"

"Calm down, Hongjoong-"

"No, Yunho, I won't. I got a call in the middle of the night, crying, and I still have no idea what happened."

"Guess I should apologise first, shouldn't I?" Wooyoung murmured under his breath, just so enough for me to register. He didn't care about others. I saw it on him - the need to come close and tell me how much he regretted everything. How badly he fell. How much he disappointed. And in some way, I wanted it too. I wanted to close him in my embrace and tell him how much he meant to me, how much I loved him. But this was scary. Too fast and too risky.

"Speak up, Wooyoung," Seonghwa demanded, sleeves up high his forearms and leaning onto his knees. The addressed boy turned his head a bit, looking at the ground. San nudged him lightly forward, earning a death glare. The tension was nerve-wracking.

"I said I should apologise."

"For what?"

"For how I acted."

"What did you do?" The boy sighed and cleared his throat. Admitting his mistakes was never easy for him, especially when they were this serious. 

"I drank. A lot."

"And?"

"Pushed on her because of my feelings."

"Why did you drink?"

"Nora cheated and ditched me." He pronounced it with so much disgust; it sounded even worse when he was sober. His eyes darted back to me, full of guilt, and I caught myself before running up to him. Let the boys talk first.

They argued. Questions about why he didn't come to them at first, how he did even get that much alcohol, and why he called just me. They asked so much, but his attention only remained on me. As if I was the only person who could understand him. When they got no replies, Hongjoong was about to leave, the need for fresh air making him dizzy. Seonghwa, Jongho and Mingi joined him. But just as they opened the door, Wooyoung stepped closer to me, aware of the effect he had, and out of nowhere fell to his knees.

"Please, just let me explain everything."