Is it necesary for the title to be that long? Maybe. Maybe not. But, poetry, and...meaning. Also, I gotta say, my writing is so much better now. My goal has always been at least a thousand words per chapter. But now, most of my chapters are well over 1000 words. I'm getting better. Anyway, it's September of 1892. Ray is 24 now. That's the age of Max Casella when he was in Newsies! I think the rest of the newsie ages are the same. Just...add 5 months haha. Unfortunately, this is another heavy chapter. But it's not all bad. There are some good moments. Enjoy! :)

As Antonio sleeps in the night, some of the newsies talk.

"Can you believe that Antonio's been here for over seven years now?" Jack asks.

"He's grown so much," Crutchy says.

"But he's still so young," Mush adds.

"And he's grown up different than us," Louis reminds them. "It's been interesting."

"But still a joy," Ray tells them. 

They all look at him. "Of course."

"Why didn't you leave when you were 21, Ray?" Jack asks. "You're 24 now. Normally newsies leave at age 21."

"That is true," Ray agrees. "But I decided to stay."

"But why?" Mush asks him.

"For one, I like all of you too much to leave," Ray tells them. 

That gets all of them to go "awww!" in response. 

Ray continues, "I need to stay for Antonio." Then, quieter, but all can still hear, "I promised Theo."

All go silent for a few moments. When Ray says Theo instead of Stargazer, or just brings up Stargazer at all, they know he's been thinking about him, and how he never really got to say goodbye. They all try to be there for him through the grief.

Ray shakes his head to clear it. "Antonio needs me."

"He captures people, doesn't he? He really is special," Mush comments. They all know this to be true. There's something about Antonio that they just can't put their finger on. True, he's different. Sometimes, they really don't get him. But it's interesting to see the way his mind works. They can deny it all they want, but they're intrigued by him. And of course, they all love him like he was their own real brother.

"You still could have left," Jack turns back to Ray.

"I could have, but where would I have gone? Those factories? I knew at 21 I'd rather stay a newsie than go there. I'm going to save up, big. And I still stand by the decision that I'll stay a newsie until I'm thirty if need be."

"I won't," Jack announces. "When I get enough money, I'm out of here."

"But where will you go?" Crutchy asks curiously. Just like how Louis and Mush are close, Jack and Crutchy have a strong brotherly bond. So naturally, he'd be interested in what Jack wants to do.

Jack thinks about it. He actually doesn't know.

Then, he has a memory from recently.

As Jack was out selling newspapers, he stepped on something. He stopped, and looked down, curious. It was a dime novel. He bent down to get it, wiped off the dirt, and read the bold letters SANTA FE and looked at the cowboy underneath it. Interested, he opened it up and scanned the pages. He knew he was going to look at it later. But, since he had to continue selling, he just stuffed it in his pocket and continued walking.

He's looked at the brochure since then. And ... the place it advertises looks great.

"I think I wanna go to Santa Fe," Jack decides aloud.

And just like that, there was a spark. This is a goal for him now. Once he's done being a newsie, he's taking the first train he can to get out of New York, and traveling southwest to Santa Fe. The thought fills him with happiness.

But of course, there are questions asked, and less seriousness.

"You're gonna be a cowboy?" Mush asks, a little skeptical.

"Sure I will," Jack answers, nearly defensive, "and I'll be the best cowboy in all the West."

"Okay Cowboy," Louis jokes.

"Never forget about us!" Crutchy tells him.

"Just stay until Antonio is older, will ya, Jack?" Ray pleads softly.

Jack sighs. He understands. "Of course I will. But when Antonio don't need us as his older siblings no more, I'll be on the train that's bound for Santa Fe."

Ray seems to see that this is important to Jack. "Well, I hope Santa Fe is all you're looking forward to and more, Jack." When he sees Crutchy yawn, he says, "goodnight, everyone."

"Goodnight."

"G'night."

"Goodnight, Cowboy!"

"Goodnight to you too, Mush."

And so they all hunker down to their bunks, and all fall asleep quickly, except for one. One, who is 16, who lays there, wide awake, thinking about Santa Fe, a place he knows so little about, but still holds enough mystery and wonder to make him long for it.

Jack doesn't know that tomorrow Louis and Mush are going to only refer to him as Cowboy. They don't know that within in a week, most of the newsies will start calling Jack 'Cowboy' every now and then. And they won't know that within the month, Wiesel is going to start calling him Cowboy as well. Until, one day, it'll be so integrated into how they interact with them, that just calling him Cowboy will come as naturally as calling him Jack, and they won't even remember where or when it started, or even why. And, without any idea of the domino effect that's bound to happen, Jack closes his eyes and finally gets some sleep.

As the week goes on and whatnot, not many of them think much about their late night conversation. Well, except for Jack and Ray.

Jack thinks about Santa Fe. What's it like? It's not like the city, he knows that for sure. And there's more space, and it's a lot less crowded. Plus, he really wants to learn how to use a lasso and ride a horse. Heck, he even has a bandana--Ray's, no, his bandana--to go with his 'Cowboy' persona. But it's all just talk. Can he actually make it out of here? He doesn't know. But he has a lot of time to find out. For now though, there are newspapers to sell.

Ray thinks about what he told them about him staying. He wants to stay. He really does. But ... he's an adult now, no escaping that at all now. Sooner or later, he will have to find a real job, and leave the lodging house behind for good. Deep down, he's known for sometime that he's been ready to leave. For three years he's been in denial. It started out with Stargazer passing away. In his grief, he stayed in security. He told himself he was still recovering when he just kept staying. But Antonio is another big factor. It always comes back to Antonio. He made a promise to Stargazer all those years ago. He's not intent on breaking that promise. He just doesn't know how exactly all of this is going to work out. He'll figure it out, though. If there's one thing that Ray is not, it's being someone who gives up.

Antonio continues on selling his papers, getting more confident in his abilities every day, unaware of his two biggest role models' inner thoughts.

Something comes up, though. There's a new opening at one of the factories that in one point of his life Ray swore he never would end up in. But it pays. Real well. And it won't be much more, but it'll be better. With it, he can help Antonio and the others, give them a better life. Give them more money than they're already making. Make sure that they will steadily have enough to buy papes each day, and be able to stay inside the lodging house. They may try to convince themselves that it's a fine life, but no one ever said it was easy, and no one tries to say that it isn't hard. If Ray can create a better world for all of them, then this is what he has to do.

One night, Ray gathers all of them around, tells them that he has something to say.

"You all know that I'm the oldest newsie here," Ray begins. "And I'm older than the age where most people stop being a newsie."

Some of the newsies shift around nervously. Is this going in the direction that they think it is? Their hearts sink a little, prepared for disappointment with a confirmation of their fears. Others don't want to hear what they think they'll hear. Others have yet to figure out what Ray is trying to say. Regardless, they are all listening intently.

"I know Kloppman won't kick me out," Ray continues. "But I can't stay here either. We gotta move on. All of us will move on at some point. There are factories out there, plenty of 'em, that have open spots that I can take. And once I decide ... I'll no longer be a newsie. Now, I'm not sure when I'll leave. But I just want to let you all know that in some nearby future, I'm no longer gonna stay here. Sure, I'll visit. Often. But I won't live here anymore. Know this, though: I love you all. And this decision is no where near easy. But I know that even if I can't stay here together with all of you, you'll look out for each other. Because we're all family here. And family looks out for each other. Do you hear what I'm saying?"

They don't want to believe this. But, they all knew that this was going to happen. And then, they nod. Yes. We do hear you. Their hearts sink. Everyone looks up to Ray. He's their leader. And he's the kindest person they all know. He's the one they go to when they have problems. He lets them lean on him, figuratively and literally, and encourages it, too. What will they do when he's gone?

Jack makes the move. He comes up and hugs Ray. He buries his face in Ray's chest, just like he did when he was younger. It makes him feel childish, but he doesn't care. "I don't want you to go."

Ray pulls Jack tighter. "I don't want to go, either."

"We wish you could stay forever, too." Suddenly, Crutchy, Louis, and Mush are hugging Ray and Jack.

Ray smiles. "Alright," he brings his head up, "c'mon everyone, join in."

And just like that, every newsie is included in the group hug.

All, except one.

Antonio stays where he is, completely frozen, full of disbelief.

Ray's gaze softens. "Oh, Antonio-"

Antonio shakes his head. "Mm-nn."

The newsies ease off a little on the tight hug; they know that Ray is going to want Antonio to come right to him.

"Antonio-"

"Mm-nn." Blinking back tears, Antonio turns around and walks away.

The others look to Ray, seeing what he'll do.

Ray just stays there and sighs. "I know it ain't gonna be easy on him. I wanna give him a little space for now, though."

And so, they all go off in their own directions and their own interests. It's late. Not too late, but there's not much that they can do either.

Ray lets an hour pass. Then, he sets off to find Antonio. He's not quite sure where, but he has a pretty good idea of where to find him.

He walks over to the staircase.

He crouches down, peeks underneath...

...and finds Antonio hugging his knees to his chest, rocking back and forth, gazing off to some distant place that Ray can't see.

"Antonio?" He tries to talk as softly and kindly as possible. "Can I stay here with you a moment?"

Antonio finally looks up. His eyes are big, wide, sad, and that pretty deep brown. Ray can't tell if he had cried, but if he had, that time had passed. He nods slowly. He slows his rocking, but not that much. From what Ray can tell, that's something that Antonio does to help himself. He hasn't seen anyone else ever do something like that before, but there certainly is no harm in it at all.

"I know that I said some things you didn't want to hear," Ray continues. "And I'm so, so, sorry. I know this is hard for you."

But it is so much more than that. For Antonio, it's how could you? and why do you have to leave? and I'm so confused. Why can't you stay here forever? and surely you don't actually have to go. You're just leaving us.

But, when so many words like this get stuck inside Antonio's head, he can never communicate them.

So he just sits there silently and shakes his head.

"Hey." Ray ever so gently puts a hand on Antonio's arm. So far, it's okay. "I don't want to leave. You know that, right?"

Antonio doesn't show any sign of hearing that. But inside, he has many different ways to answer. But they all conflict. So he continues to say and do nothing.

"Can I get some sort of sign that you heard me, maybe, please?"

Antonio looks into Ray's eyes again. Ray's eyes that aren't lying. All his words are genuine. But his actions are still of someone else. If it were just Ray, then they wouldn't even be here talking about this. If it were just Ray, then he would never have even considered a factory. This is someone else. Or someone else's motives. But who? And what? And why? Maybe someone is forcing Ray to do this. But he's going along with it. So it's more than just Ray. But Antonio's Ray is regretting it as he goes along, that much he knows.

So, slowly, Antonio nods.

"Yes, you know that I don't want to leave?"

Antonio nods again. True, that isn't necessarily true. He still feels like he's being betrayed. But he'll let Ray think that he's on his side.

"I know it's going to be different when I'm not here."

Antonio pulls closer in on himself until his nose is touching the top of his knee. "Mm-nn." He shakes his head. No. I don't want to talk about that.

"Would you rather we don't talk about the future when I'm gone?"

Antonio manages to pulls even closer. He shakes his head again. No. I don't want to talk about it.

Ray understands. "Okay, we don't have to talk about it."

Antonio relaxes and unfolds a little. He's already under enough stress by thinking that the future is coming soon. He doesn't want anything to change. He's had a good life. He wants to live like this forever and ever. He knows that he can't do that. He just wishes that it would have lasted a little longer.

Because everything was good. Really good. Everyone spent almost every waking second they could with him when he was confined to the lodging house. And they all looked after him. They really did. But Ray? Ray has always been constant. He's gone above and beyond a thousand times in everything he does, perhaps even more. Antonio knows that he could have had a very different early childhood. He's really glad that Ray took him in and gave him what he has now.

And once Antonio became a newsie, it all fell into a new, exciting groove. Now, he can pay for his own papes for the day. Ray makes sure he stays safe, and allows him some more freedom each day. Antonio feels just that little bit more grown up. Sure, headlines aren't always good. When they aren't, Ray makes sure that Antonio will be able to handle how much he decides to sell for the day. He's glad that he's a newsie now. He's had the best person to look up to.

And Ray was one of the few who would try to understand Antonio's mind. Many would get too impatient for that. Sure, the ones closest to being his brothers; Jack, Louis, Mush, Crutchy; they would try to understand. Ray's the only one who truly gets Antonio, though. And Ray never pushes Antonio further than he can handle. Ray can tell when Antonio's overwhelmed by everything around him and lets him take a moment to rest. He's grateful for that. Ray always seems to know exactly what Antonio needs.

Antonio can't believe that Ray won't live with them anymore. True, he's not walking out the door tomorrow and never coming back. But time is slipping away. Slipping away real fast. And Antonio feels like he's falling, and like there's nothing he can do about it.

It's just so much to take in at once.

"Can you come here?" Ray asks Antonio gently, bringing him back to the present, opening up his arms for a hug.

Should he? He's not sure.

But how many more moments like this will he ever get?

He nods. And, once he tells his body enough times that he needs to move, he slowly, very slowly, inch by inch, scoots out of his little hiding place, his little comfort place, and into Ray's arms.

Ray pulls him close. "Come here." And rocks him back and forth gently, soothingly.

Then, the tears come back for Antonio. He curls into Ray, buries his face in Ray's shoulder, Ray's safe shoulder. Ray puts a hand behind Antonio's head and brings him closer. "Shh, shh, shh. It's alright. Cry all you need to. It's alright. Everything's going to be okay."

No, no it won't be okay. Antonio wants to believe those words. Truly. But he knows they aren't true. But he also knows that those are the only words he'll get. So he holds on to them.

"Shh, shh, shh...it's okay. Shhhh...."

Ray has the most soothing voice in the world. And every time he says shh it's so soft and nice and comforting and calming. Antonio closes his eyes and sniffles a little more. He doesn't trust himself to talk. Not yet.

With Antonio in his arms, Ray oh-so carefully scoots backwards and stands up. Antonio clings to him tighter. He knows where they're going. He can't see where they are going, but he knows. They're going to their chair. When Ray sits down, Antonio knows it immediately. It just has that feeling. He wants to stay here forever. They don't talk. Just sit there silently. Antonio is grateful for that. Ray strokes his thumb behind Antonio's head, and his other thumb on Antonio's shoulder. And right there in their chair with Ray, Antonio falls into a peaceful sleep.

Wednesday morning, Ray only takes fifty papes. Everyone around him knows that he takes and sells a hundred papes. He explains to them that he's going to one of the factories today. He's checking it out. Like a trial, he says. They all accept that. Secretly, or not-so-secretly, they all silently hope that Ray doesn't like it. That he'll come back to them, grinning from ear to ear, announcing, good news, everyone! The factory is not for me! I'm staying a newsie. I'm staying here as long as you all need me. I'm not going to leave you. Sadly, though, thoughts like those are unrealistic. And they know that this scenario is never going to actually happen, no matter how nice it sounds.

Wednesday night, Ray comes home real late, later than everyone else. He tells them he starts work at that factory Monday. After today, they'll only have Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday of Ray being a newsie. That's not that much time. They don't want to accept that Ray's reign as leader of the Manhattan newsies is coming to an end. But they're not going to waste a single second. They all love Ray. They're going to spend as much time as they possibly can with him. Every single one of them. Because after Sunday, they'll see him less and less. Monday when he leaves for work, he'll be a former newsie. They can still keep him as a newsie in their minds, but that won't change that, like the setting sun each day, Ray's time as a newsie is disappearing beyond the horizon. 

Monday morning comes soon enough. 

"Alright, everyone!" Ray calls out. "Time to get up! Time to carry the banner!"

There's a collective groan.

And then there are those who are still asleep.

If they're lucky, Ray will wake them up gently.

If they aren't, they'll have someone jump on their bed, or onto them, or someone shouting in their ear; there's really no telling on what it'll be--it just won't be pleasant.

While Snipeshooter gets to wake up to Ray gently shaking his shoulders, Buttons wakes up from Snoddy shouting right in his ear, Sheeny and Itey doubling over laughing beside him.

"Real mature," Henry chuckles, Morris right along with him.

Today Ray's not coming to the circulation center. The thought hits Jack suddenly as he lies awake, gaining consciousness, saddening him. He knew this day was coming. But now that this moment is here, he really rather wouldn't.

Ray stands over Jack, tilting his head to match the angle of Jack's. "You gonna get up soon?"

"Idontwanna," Jack grumbles.

Ray laughs. "Well it don't matter if you don't wanna. You're gonna have to sell papes."

Jack groans and rolls over.

"Hey!" Louis hits Jack's back with Crutchy's crutch. "Wake up, Cowboy!"

That gets Jack to spring up. "Why, you-"

Louis jumps back, laughing really hard.

"Hey, Louis, can I have that back, please?" Crutchy asks nicely.

Louis fake huffs. "Okay." He tosses it back where he got it, and Crutchy surprisingly catches it in midair with one hand.

"Thanks, Louis."

"Nice catch, Crutchy," Mush comments.

All of the ruckus around Antonio's bunk finally gets him awake. Most days, the newsies let Antonio sleep as long as he needs. Mornings still aren't easy, though.

And so they all go through their morning routine, with a sort of rhythm to it.

I'm gonna miss this, Ray thinks nostalgically. This is my last morning watching this strange masterpiece happen.

It doesn't take long for all of them to finish getting ready. And so, with nothing else left to do, they all set off together, before they have to inevitably part ways.

I wonder what Ray will think of it, they all thought that morning. He can tell us all about it tonight. 

Ray had told them that he'd be back in the evening. Once he gets a place of his own (which he has been saving up for), he won't need to come back to the lodging house. Until then, they will make sure to treasure every spare moment they have. All these moments in that gray area between Ray-is-still-a-newsie-kind-of and Ray-is-out-in-the-world-for-good, they'll make sure not to waste a single one.

And so they went about their day as usual. It was strange, not having Ray there. Even Wiesel asked about him. But they had to continue on. And so they did.

(A/N: This next part is not going to make anyone except the cold-hearted happy. Actually, it IS happy...at first. But the bad things are going to hit hard. Just thought I should warn you now. Enjoy the fluff while you still can.)

"Where is he?" Jack paces right in front of the front door. "He should be back by now."

All of them thought that Ray should be back by now. At first, they brushed it off. Now, they're getting more anxious. Ray never is late for anything. Or at least, not this late.

"When's Ray coming back?" Antonio asks all of them, any of them, just someone who'd listen to his question.

Crutchy sighs. "I wish I knew, Antonio."

Louis looks around nervously. He's had a hard time sitting still too. He's getting restless. Mush grabs his hand and squeezes it reassuredly. Louis squeezes back and rests his head on Mush's shoulder.

Some smoke cigars. Others drum their fingers on chairs impatiently.

Surely Ray hadn't forgotten about them already?

"What if he was on a date?" Sheeny asks out of no where.

He's met with silence.

"What if he met someone at work?" Sheeny continues. "And they're at a diner, right now, talking their hearts out. In a couple hours, Ray will remember us. He'll apologize to his date, and come back and say, sorry fellas that I was late, I just had me a date."

Although very unrealistic, it gets a couple chuckles.

"Which diner?" Henry asks him.

"If his date is classy, they'd be at Tibby's," Buttons comments. "But if they're going for something a lot more casual and lazy, like Snoddy here-"

"HEY!"

"-then they'd be at Jacobi's."

"But what if they was in another borough?" Henry asks. "That's a possibility."

"Nah, Ray wouldn't leave Manhattan," Sheeny responds.

"What if this date of his is from one of those boroughs?" Jack adds to the conversation. "What then?"

"He'd convert 'em to Manhattan, I'm sure of it."

"Well, how did Ray and his date meet up and decide they wanted dinner together?" Crutchy asks.

"It was right before Ray leaves to come home," Sheeny narrates dramatically. "And that's when he saw...them."

"Them?"

"Well, I don't know if his date is a random goil or a random guy."

"Dang, Ray's got all the fish in the sea to consider, don't he?"

"Continue, on Sheeny. What happened after he saw...them?"

"Glad you asked," Sheeny continues with his story. "Ya see, they turned around, and oh my gosh did Ray fall for them."

"But he loved Stargazer."

"He can like other people."

"He was really loyal to Stargazer."

"I'm tellin' the story, okay? I have no clue how real it is. Anyway, they catch him staring." Now acting it out, Sheeny continues, "He blushes, and turns away. Then, he looks back at 'em, and says, I'm Ray."

This gets a couple giggles out of the younger group.

"What's this date of his say in return?" Itey asks.

Sheeny shrugs. "I got nothing. No clue what the name of the person is."

"Andrea."

Everyone goes silent. This is the first time Antonio spoke in some time.

"Andrea," he repeats.

"What makes you think it was a goil named Andrea?" Buttons asks curiously.

Antonio shakes his head. "Guys and girls can have the name Andrea."

There is a collective "huh" and a "cool!" from some. Where did he hear that name though? None of them ever talked about anyone named Andrea. That's a mystery to be solved another time.

"Okay, I think I got it!" Sheeny says enthusiastically. "So, Andrea-" he really draws out the name, and continues to act out both people "-smiles at him, and says in return, I'm Andrea. And Ray forgets to speak for a moment, because wow has this person got him mesmerized. When he remembers how to speak again, he offers to walk Andrea home. Andrea agrees, and so they start walking together."

"Okay, I like this story," Henry comments with a smile.

And so does everyone else. They're all listening. They want this fake scenario to continue on forever and ever. Well, until Ray gets back from this imaginary date, that is.

"Anyway, they walk and talk. For a really long time. Then, Ray realizes how late it's getting, and how hungry he is. He turns to Andrea, and says, care to join me for dinner? and Andrea says oh yes! I would like that a lot! And all's good as they decide on a restaurant. Which restaurant was it again?"

"Tibby's," someone supplies.

"Ah, yes. Tibby's. Anyway, get this: they get up to the front door of Tibby's, and Ray realizes something."

"What?" they ask.

"He checks his pockets worriedly, and realizes that he doesn't have that much money with him. But he can't let down his date. But wanna know what he does next?"

"What?"

"He turns to Andrea, and as calmly as he can, he says: ...split the cost?"

Now that gets everyone laughing. True, it's a very unlikely story. And not the best punchline in the world. And they all know that nothing like this would never happen to Ray. But it was still fun to build on that little story of theirs. Now they can't wait for Ray to come back, so they can tell him all about it--right after they finish demanding him to tell them both how his day was and where he went.

Then, it gets quiet for a few moments. The grandfather clock on the wall shows that it's much later than what Ray was supposed to return by, and just keeps ticking on, without Ray coming through that door. Except all they can do now is wait.

Until, finally, there's a knock on the door.

They all jump up immediately and scramble to the door, full of relief, ready to greet Ray with smiling faces.

Until someone opens the door and it's not Ray there. Instead, it's a man with a somber expression.

"Sit down, children," the man tells them solemnly, "as I deliver some very bad news about your friend and fellow newsie, Raymond Hart."

Not friend.

Brother.

Slowly, they all sit back down and eye the man warily. None of them know exactly who he is.

"I am Adam Remington, and I was at the factory young Raymond came to," he tells them.

Surely this guy is higher up than the employees if he dresses that way. Not uptight rich folk, but in the higher working class.

"There...there was a fire." He lets them linger in silence for a few moments.

"Is he okay?" Jack asks quietly.

"Is he at the hospital?" Louis asks.

The man raises his hand before any more questions could bubble up. He sighs and shakes his head. "We...we thought we got everyone out of there. We counted everyone, too. But then we realized there was still one young kid in there. Young Mr. Hart didn't hesitate to go back in there. He got young Michael out, but..." he trails off.

"But what?" Sheeny prompts.

They all dread to hear what happened next.

"Raymond was still in the building," he tells them. He pauses. "It collapsed. He never came out."

It all hits them.

Ray is never coming back.

He died saving a kid's life.

But now that's left them all without Ray.

No one wants to believe it.

"My condolences," Mr. Remington says. "I am so, so sorry."

No one knows what to say.

This was not how it was supposed to go. Ray was supposed to come home from a day of work, tell them how it all went, go out to dinner with them, spend the night. Or maybe even the silly story they came up with, where he goes out on a date, was supposed to happen. Ray wasn't supposed to get caught in a fire. He wasn't supposed to leave them alone forever in this cruel dark world.

But they have to accept that that's the truth.

"And, here's one more thing." Mr. Remington steps away, to reveal a small, scared little kid, who looks around the age of ten. "This is Michael. He was the one Raymond saved from the fire. He said that if he can get Michael out alive, then he should come live here, with all you." He clears his throat. "I want to respect his final wishes."

Michael doesn't stop moving. He looks around nervously. Being inside a building while it's burning could probably do something like that to a person.

"It's okay, Michael," Mr. Remington tells the boy. "Go on in."

Meekly, Michael steps in through the door. Some offer him a small smile. He gives them a small smile back in return. But no one is truly happy. Now is not the good time for anything right now.

Mr. Remington dips his head. "I bid you all farewell. And give you my condolences. I didn't get to know Mr. Hart very well, but from what I could tell, he was a good man."

No.

Ray wasn't just good. He was the best.

But now, anytime they talk about Ray, it has to be in the past tense.

And no one was expecting that so soon.

And just as quickly as he had come, the bringer of bad news leaves and closes the door behind him.

Itey gets up, mumbling something like gotta tell Kloppman we got a new kid, and leaves them. He'll have to tell him about Ray, too. Or at least, someone will.

Everyone stays silent, all lost in their own thoughts.

Then, Sheeny and Henry beckon Michael closer to them, and make whatever form of quiet small talk they can, at least trying a little bit to make him feel welcome here.

Jack stands up and leaves the room. He can't handle this. The others let him leave. They know how close he was to Ray. They know he needs space. It's hard on all of them. But Jack looked up to Ray like no one else.

Then, Antonio gets up as well. He can't take this. Ray is gone. And never coming back. No. That can't be true. But it is. Without a word, he goes and crawls under the stairs and brings his knees to his chest. He too formed an extra special bond with Ray.

Everyone else...kind of does there own thing. Everyone handles grief differently. Louis and Mush go into a corner, holding each other as they cry. Some smoke. Others just sit there, not knowing what to do. Sheeny, Henry, Crutchy, and Kloppman help Michael get settled in. Some talk, some don't.

Somehow, though, it's decided that that night they'll hold a funeral for Ray. They have no body to bury, but they wouldn't have been able to afford a grave anyway. Instead, they have a small patch behind the lodging house that'll work nicely for a little memorial spot...and for a final send off.

In the last hour of daylight, their ceremony begins.

They've set up as many candles as they could find around the very few pictures of Ray they could find, as well as some of his prized possessions. They found the biggest rock they could to use as a tombstone. And they have flowers. Not many; they'll get more tomorrow. Whatever they could find quickly they used.

All the newsies gather around their makeshift grave for Ray, all very sad and somber. Dark clouds roll over head. They can see the sky, but only just. The sun is lowering in the sky.

For some time, they all sit in silence. No one knows who should speak first.

Jack touches the red bandana around his neck. He decides he'll go first. "Ray was the best newsie ever. He was our leader. Everyone here is proud to say that they knew him. And he meant so, so much more to us than just a leader."

He swallows. Everyone looks at him, encouraging him to continue.

"He was friend to all, even those that most would never try to befriend. He was kind. He listened to us all. He was always fair and just. He saw the good in everyone. He took care of us. And he sacrificed his life so another could live."

He closes his eyes as he feels a tear roll down his face. "He died too young. He had so many hopes, so many dreams. He was going to put them off so he could continue being with the people he cared for. And now? All of those aren't going to happen."

When they came here, everyone's eyes were red. But, as the talking goes on, more pairs of eyes start tearing up again.

"I miss him already," Jack says. "The last time I saw him was this morning. And knowing that I'll never see him again, I miss him so, so much. I know all of you can agree with that whole-heartedly."

He gets a lot of empathetic nods.

Then, Morris spoke up. "I ain't too much younger than him." Now they all turn to look at him. "We came 'ere around the same time. Neither of us were ten yet. He was my first real friend. We watched each other grow, and I watched him become our leader. It wasn't his choice. Others nominated him, insisting that he should lead us. This was even before he was the eldest of us. But everyone agreed: if we were to have a leader, it would be Ray. Ever since we first met, he's put others first, again and again and again. I know I can speak for everyone when I say that we all loved him. I just hope that he's gone out in some form of peace."

A lot of people nod respectfully.

Then, more people talk. Buttons, Sheeny, Smoke, Henry, Snoddy, Itey, Snipeshooter, everyone. Everyone has a memory of Ray to share, or just something overall to say about him. Everyone to speak before and after them fails to keep their voice from shaking or from getting hoarse.

"He looked after all of us," Louis contributes. "I remember when I first came to the lodging house, and I saw Ray's smilin' face for the first time, and I instantly felt safe. He never stopped caring. He was always there for everyone. He knew all of us inside out. He knew us better than we knew ourselves."

"When Ray gave me my newsie name, it was a great feeling," Mush recalls. He and Louis have their arms around each other, resting their heads together. "I've had this name for years now. Every time I hear it, I think of Ray. I think of the one who took me under his wing when I was still really really young. And he was always interested in what we had to say. Even if it was pure nonsense, he was always there to listen."

"He would laugh at our stories that really weren't that funny," Crutchy adds. "It made us all feel good, though. At least, it made me feel good. Until Antonio came along, I was the youngest newsie in the lodging house at age four. Ray raised me, just like he did Antonio. Ray taught me everything I needed to know, even though I was still really young. He made sure Kloppman taught me at least some of what I would have learned in school, since I wasn't selling full time. And a few years ago, when the accident happened where I lost the use of my leg...Ray stuck with me the whole time. I was so scared. He never left my side. He told me to hold on, that everything was going to be okay. I don't know what I would have done if he wasn't there. He truly cared for all of us, and supported us all." He takes a deep breath when he finishes. Mush pulls him into a hug, and Crutchy puts his arm around Mush too.

For a few more moments, there was complete silence. Nearly everyone had spoken. 

But now they were in for a little surprise at whose voice they heard next.

"I only knew Ray starting today." It was the new kid, the one Ray saved in a fire. In the few hours that he's been here, he's been so jumpy and nervous, that they gave him a name right off the bat: Skittery. "It was my first day in the factory, same as him. There were other young kids, too, but I was the youngest. He went out of his way to make sure I was comfortable and doing alright. There were a bunch of intimidating people around. He wouldn't let them intimidate me. And...and when..." he trails off. He takes a moment to calm his nerves. "When the fire started, I was so scared. I couldn't move. I watched everyone leave, and as the smoke came in no one thought I was still left behind. I don't know how much time passed. I coughed a lot from the smoke. I thought I was going to die in there. Then suddenly, Ray comes bursting in and finds me. He told me to get up and run. I ran as fast as I could. I thought he was right behind me. I made it out and turned around, and ... he wasn't there." He looks down. "I thought you all should know."

"Thank you for telling us," Henry comforts him. "That must have been really scary."

Skittery nods. "Yeah."

"You have us now," Sheeny tells him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Jack turns to Antonio beside him. "Antonio, is there anything you want to say?"

They all turn to look at Antonio.

He's never been good at eye contact. He looks down. Too many people staring at him at once. 

This whole time, he's been thinking. Just ... thinking about everything.

If there was ever a time to speak, now would be the time.

Can he get the words out?

Only one way to find out.

He opens his mouth. Ray was the best person anyone could ever ask for. No sound. He closes his mouth. He opens it, and tries again. Quietly, "Ray was the best person anyone could ever ask for." Then louder, so people could hear him. Then he continues. "I never knew a life before a life in the lodging house with everyone. I never knew a life before Ray. Ray took care of me. Ray raised me. He would always try to understand me." He swallows. His tears start again. "and even when he couldn't fully understand, he did his best. He would wait a long time with me if I couldn't talk. Ray always looked out for me, even when I was old enough to look out for myself. When I was excited to be a newsie back in March, he was excited right along with me. All my life, I've had Ray with me." He bits his lip. "He was in a way like a father."

In a way he was like a father.

That gets them all thinking about Ray and Stargazer. The two thought they were discreet, but everyone knew that they wanted to move out of the city and grow old together and raise children.

"He was like a father," Jack picks up again. "When Antonio had no one left in the world, Ray took him in and raised him as his own. He did a good job of raising him." He puts an arm around Antonio. "A real good job. No one could have been better."

They all agree. It's true. Some of the newsies, even now, are amazed by how fast Ray made the commitment to raise little Antonio.

"I knew Ray since he was seven," Kloppman speaks up from the back. They all turn back to look at him. If anyone can say anything about Ray, it would be Kloppman. "Never met a boy with a bigger heart. He cared for everyone, and was nice for the sake of being nice, nothing behind it at all. He helped people come up with good headlines. I watched him grow as he became known as Manhattan's leader. He never stopped caring for others, right up until the very end. He was a good person, through and through."

"He was," Jack agrees. He pauses. Then, "Ray once told me that he got his nickname from more than just Ray bein' short for Raymond. He said that when he was around eleven or twelve, someone commented on how happy and nice and fun he was. He was called a ray of sunshine. And somehow, the name stuck. So there was Ray, who was the sun, and Stargazer, who was the stars. Maybe now they can rule the heavens together." He closes his eyes. Then, when he opens them, he finishes, "Raymond Hart was our sun. But, as the sun rises, the sun also sets." He looks out to the west. They do too. And there, just out over the horizon, is the last glimpse of the setting sun. "And there he is, right there. May he rest in peace."

They all watch as the sun sets. For good.

Some may claim that they saw a green flash; others are convince that that is just a legend.

As the sun disappears from sight, that's when they decide to end the ceremony. They blow out all the candles. They can't bear the thought of starting another fire. They pack up other things, too. But they leave most of Ray's final resting place where it is. 

In time, they'll visit this place often. They'll gather flowers--whether from gardens or bought/stolen from shops, they don't care. They'll sit in mourning for a little over a week. They'll sell very few newspapers. The newsie who will sell the most in the upcoming week averages around twenty papers a day. No one will move on easily.

But they don't know any of that yet.

For now, they go back inside the lodging house, go back inside after their blessed beloved sun had sunk beyond the horizon line.

Now that was one of the hardest things I've ever had to write. 

I have never gotten this emotional over writing any story.

I am so, so sorry. I introduced you all to my two characters, Ray and Stargazer. I let you into their world, showed you their hopes and dreams. Then I took it all away. They never got what they deserved. And now Jack, Antonio, and everyone else is going to have to accept that Ray is gone. I can't believe he's gone.

This chapter, at this point, is 7580 words. It'll grow as I continue this author's note. I won't make it that much longer, though.

I needed a way to introduce Skittery, and this opportunity presented itself, so...there you go.

Here are some of the songs I was listening to while writing this, starting at the part where they get the knock on the door. Day and Night by Jung Seung Hwan. Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story from Hamilton. Alabanza from In The Heights. Wanting Memories by Keali'i Reichel. Photograph by Ed Sheeran. Sheridan Square by Howard Ashman. In My Life (cover) by Keali'i Reichel. What A Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong. Feels Like Home by Auli'i Cravalho and Keegan Dewitt. Two versions of In This Life : one of them sung by Amy Hanaiali'i Gilliom, and one sung by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. There were others, but these are the ones that stand out the most.

I am really, really sad now. One of the sadder things, though, is that I'll have to reread through this before I post this. That's going to be rough.

As time moves on, things will get happier. But I never said that this story was going to be easy. I hope you all want to know what happens next, though, because this story is no where near complete.

Until then.

Word count after coming back from rereading: 7932 words. So, so close to 8000. Wow.

Please, no homophobia, profanities, hate etc in the comment section at all times.

Best,

~Your Beloved Author (who has regrettably become way too attached to their original characters, and mourns the death of Ray and Stargazer along with all of you)