One of the most random things I've ever written

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I started to awaken at this point. "How long have we been walking?"

"Technically, you haven't been walking!" Tenya corrected.

"Yeah, coming from the guy we had to carry," Katsuki snarled.

"Speaking of which—I promised you that I'd carry one of you next time if we were ever in the same situation again." He then looked at me. "(Y/N), I'll gladly carry you now!"

I thought about it. "Well, I don't want you to waste all your energy carrying me, Katsuki."

"I have plenty of energy, thank you very much."

"But I really don't mind!" Tenya persisted.

"Not on your life, Sonic the Knock-off-hog."

"I'm beginning to start thinking you don't trust me with your girlfriend. Or maybe it's HER you don't trust."

Katsuki delicately placed me on a comfortable lump of grass and then immediately started exploding in Tenya's direction. "STOP TALKING, ROBO BOZO!!"

Tenya flung in the air and said, "Hey! That last explosion you threw at me fixed my engines. Thanks, pal!!"

"Whatever, All Show No Go."

I was still on the grass, waiting for them to stop arguing when suddenly, I heard a boy say, "Have some tea, Mrs. Nesbitt."

The three of us turned to the noise and saw the most pitifully disturbing thing.

Deku had donned a pink apron, a straw hat, and was having a tea party with his All Might action figures.

"And just when I thought that boy couldn't get any more insane," Katsuki commented.

I then remembered Kyouka saying how he had been tossed around like a football. "Oh no. . .the Nomu must have caused him serious brain damage."

"M-Midoriya?" Tenya stuttered, at first not wanting to believe it was really Deku.

"Hello, little missy!" Deku greeted Tenya. "Have you seen my titanium All Might trophy? I seem to have misplaced it."

That settled it. Deku had finally lost his marbles.

"You mean this?" Tenya pulled it out of his pocket.

Katsuki snatched it, ready to hurl it at Deku when I stopped him and said, "Please, no. The boy can't afford any more brain injury."

"Mother? Is that you?" he asked Katsuki. "Did you get a blonde afro?"

At that point, even my boyfriend looked terrified.

"I'm not your mom, freak! I'm King Explosion Murder!"

Deku then looked at me and raised his plastic teacup. "Will you be my girlfriend? You're so pretty."

"Why does everyone think they can hit on my girlfriend just cuz it's the apocalypse!?" Katsuki shouted to the sky.

Deku started crying because his All Might action figure got dirt on it. So then, Katsuki exploded it.

"There, the dirt's gone!"

Deku's scream broke the sound barrier and I'm pretty sure that America could hear us.

"NO NEED TO FEAR—IS THAT A SCREAMING CHILD I HEAR?" echoed a voice from across the street.

This guy waltzed through a wall with. . .no clothes on and waved at us.

"AAAAAAAGH!!!" the four of us screamed.

The searing image of seeing Mirio in his birthday suit jolted Deku's mind back to normal for whatever that's worth.

"WHERE AM I!?" he cried out in desperation. He tears could end the drought.

"Guys? Is that you!?" gasped Mirio. "I can't believe it!!"

Katsuki pulled me into his shoulder to shield my innocent eyes and yelled at him, "Put on some clothes, SpongeBob, whether it be a newspaper or whatnot!! You could get arrested for indecent exposure!"

"The police aren't around, so I figured—"

"But my girlfriend is and I am!! If we had had anything decent for lunch, we would have just lost it!"

"I didn't mean to offend!" Mirio explained. So, he found some skinny jeans with pink flowers embroidered on them and put them on. "Do I look better now?"

"What is wrong with you, boy?" Katsuki asked. "Look, just do us a favor and try not to lose those clothes too!"

"I'll try!"

Deku looked at us. "Yikes, what happened to you, guys?"

"Us? What happened to you?" I retorted. "You were off in a galaxy far, far away!"

"Last thing I remember is being body-slammed by a Nomu," he said.

"Oh, my!" Mirio exclaimed as he ran up to me. "What did you do to your ankle? Has your boyfriend been abusing you!? Shall I call the cops?"

"Good luck with that," Tenya commented. "Haven't seen once since they went to that donut shop before All Might got pumbled."

"LOOK, SKINNY JEANS! I DON'T NEED YOUR CONDESCENSION COMIN' DOWN ON ME AT A TIME LIKE THIS!!" my boyfriend screamed.

"But you didn't deny it! Oh, good grief! Poor (Y/N)!" Mirio gasped.

"YOU'RE ABOUT THIS CLOSE TO BEING BODY-SLAMMED INTO THE EARTH SO FAR YOU'LL END UP IN AMERICA!!"

Mirio swept me off my feet against my will, but I fell to the ground through his arms which was the most disgusting thing that's happened today. It would have been the most disturbing thing that's ever happened to me in my entire life if it hadn't had been for the apocalypse.

"What kind of guy drops a girl through his arms!? And you're supposed to be the best in the school!?" I fumed.

"Don't touch my girlfriend again, All Might Jr.!" Katsuki picked me up again and tried to keep me away from the insanity.

"Can—Can somebody carry me?" asked Deku.

"How about I just buy all of you a stroller and pacifier, you lazy bums!?"

That's when we decided to make camp for the night. It was pouring rain and we were all drenched. So, we ran as fast as we could to find shelter. We tried to find shelter inside, but all of the buildings were overrun with Nomu. The only place we could find was underneath a bridge with some hobos baking chocolate Funfetti in their Queasy-Bake Oven.

I sat in the furthest corner from all of the riffraff that I possibly find. I surveyed the ruins of the forgotten city and wondered where have all the good men gone? And where are all the gods? Where's the street-wise Hercules the fight the rising odds?

Speaking of heroes, where the heck was All Might? I then looked over at a hobo eating beans out of a can. It was that darn Fat Gum sitting beside a giant mountain of food which he was puppy-guarding.

"HAND IT OVER!!" Katsuki demanded as he tried snatching a can of Spam out of his death-grip.

"No way! I found it first! I have to keep up my bodyfat intake!"

"THE REST OF US ARE STARVING—YOU COULD LIVE OFF THAT FAT FOR MONTHS!!"

Here I was, watching Katsuki wrestle a has-been Pro Hero for a can of spam. It was then that I realized—my life had sunken to a whole new low—even lower than the last I said that. I was practically going insane, so I started whispering 'I Need A Hero' by Bonnie Tyler to myself while Katsuki was still body-slamming Fat Gum into the concrete. Poor Katsuki's arm was being absorbed into Fat Gum's stomach because of his Quirk.

Katsuki finished TKO-ing Fat Gum and crawled over to me with the can of Spam.

"I got the Spam," he told me.

I would have scolded him, but instead I said, "Wow, a can of Spam? You really do spoil me!"

I started eating the Spam. "It used to be my dream to go to U.A. and to become a Pro Hero. What do I do now that that dream's been destroyed?"

"Then you find a new dream," he responded.

"But I don't know what else to dream about. Especially in this bleak reality."

Katsuki took both of my hands in his and told me, "Look me in the eyes when I tell you this. No matter where we go or who we are in the future, know that I will always be with you and you're my new dream. As long as we're together, the rest doesn't matter."

For the first time in several months, I felt happy and safe again. I threw my arms around him and we held each other tight. I started to cry—but this time, they were tears of joy.

"Katsuki, you make the world seem like a better place," I smiled.

"You are my world, so it's the best."

I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes when all of the sudden, I heard the voice of Deku singing, "Every time you lie in bed, a million kisses fill your head~ And you're on your own~"

"Shut up, you're not even singing it right!" Katsuki scoffed.

Hobos started fleeing into the rain, trying to escape Deku's travesty.

Tenya whined, "I wish I had a girl to hold in these desperate times."

"No girl will ever be that desperate," Katsuki smarted off.

Eventually, I tuned them all out and began to fall asleep. But I could have sworn I heard someone singing, 'A Girl Worth Fighting For', so I knew it was time to drift into unconsciousness.

The next morning, I awoke to the smell of burning trash, but I soon learned it was only the breakfast Mirio had cooked for us all. He was shoving a spoonful of it in my mouth.

"Here comes the airplane!!" he cheered me on like I was a two-year-old.

It was Spam mixed with Funfetti chocolate powder and eggs Mirio had found in a pigeon's nest.

I quickly moved out of the way and the food unfortunately landed in Katsuki's mouth. He let out a scream that would have awakened everybody in Australia.

"Get that toxic waste outta mah face!!" he roared, slapping the spoon out of his hand and spewing all the food from his mouth.

"But you must eat!!" Mirio insisted.

"I will if you give me real food! Not trash you whipped up!"

"You should be thankful, Kacchan!" Deku lectured. "There's people in Japan who don't even have the luxury of eating during this fallout!"

"Then send the food to them!"

After finishing his meal, Tenya stood up. "Alright, guys. We should head out in ten minutes. We're still looking for several of our friends who could have been eaten by the Nomu by now. So, we haven't a moment to lose!"

Katsuki crossed his arms. "I'm the team leader here, Glasses! But yeah, what he said."

"Where should we go today?" I asked.

"Anywhere that we haven't been yet!" Tenya answered with a smile.

"YEAH, THAT REALLY NARROWS THINGS DOWN, IDIOT!" my boyfriend shouted.

Mirio cut in, "Well, I've spent most of my time in between walls. I think I saw a trail of ice leading to the mall back in Kiyashi Ward."

I gasped, "Do you think that Shouto could be there. . .?"

"We can only hope," said Deku.

Katsuki jeered, "(Y/N) still needs ice for her ankle, so I hope you're not wrong this time, SpongeBob."

When we approached the mall, I had to do a doubletake. It looked like the whale from Pinnochio had body-slammed into it because all the windows were shattered, the walls were gauged, and the shops were completely looted and there was trash everywhere and it reeked of leftovers in the back in the back of the fridge growing fur.

"My, my." Tenya adjusted his glasses as he observed the wreck.

Glass blanketed the floor and shelves and kiosks were on their side. I couldn't believe how destructive these Nomu had been. There was nothing holding us here anymore. We were gonna have to move forward to a new place to have a chance at a future.

"Guys! I don't have any shoes on and there's glass everywhere!" Mirio squirmed.

"There's a Foot Locker over there." Katsuki pointed to the store.

Mirio went inside and came back with cardboard mats under his feet and rope tying them together for a shoe strap. "Do I look good?"

"No."

"Thanks."

"No prob."

I facepalmed and then realized that some of the glass was not glass at all. It looked like ice.

"Katsuki! Look. Is that ice? Could it belong to Shouto?"

He looked down at it and said, "Cool. Ice. Let's use it for your ankle." Katsuki ripped the bottom half of shirt off to wrap the ice in and then proceeded to tie it around my aching ankle.

"Better, babe?"

As soon as the ice touched my ankle, I felt immediate relief.

"Yeah! Thanks."

"No prob."

Soon, I heard a squeal out of Deku, yelling, "I found Todoroki!!"

We gasped and ran over to see what he was talking about. When we did, we saw a hobo dressed as Santa Clause whose eyes were rolling in the back of head while he chugged a bottle of Pepto Bismol. He had a candy cane weave on and his left eye was black and blue from somebody punching him in the face.

"Deku, does this look anything like Todoroki to you?" I groaned.

"He had red and white hair with a scar on his left eye!"

Katsuki facepalmed. "I'm surrounded by idiots."

"Want some?" the hobo slurred, holding out his Pepto Bismol.

Katsuki protectively placed his arm to his side in front of me to guard me from Santa. Although I appreciated his gesture, I wasn't completely reassured yet that we would be safe from the medicine man of the mall.

"Watch it, babe, I got this."

"Why are you blasé about this?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Have you met my mom?" he reassured.

"She's too purty to be with you!" the hobo blabbered. "Ditch this loser and hang out with me!"

I was scared of the Dollar Tree version of Santa and then Katsuki turned his head to the side to make eye contact with me and said, "Run, babe. Things are gonna get ugly here. I don't wanna have to hold back my blast! Run far so I don't hurt you."

So, I ran into the abandoned Hello Kitty store because I might as well do some shopping while Katsuki was defending my honor. Explosions went off behind me from the plaza but I just ignored because I recognized the sound of King Explosion Murder at work. I cheerfully browsed through the shelf of Hello Kitty merchandise. The other guys were running around like idiots, screaming like little girls, and ducking under benches to avoid getting caught in the crosswinds.

After about ten minutes, there was silence and I heard footsteps quietly coming up behind me. I turned to see Katsuki holding a giant cookie which he got from Starbucks. He handed to me and said, "I figured you were hungry."

I received it and took a big bit out of more than half of it. Since we had nowhere to go quickly, Katsuki and I spent over two hours together in the Hello Kitty store, just talking and filling up a couple of Hello Kitty backpacks with the most precious merch I just couldn't leave behind. Things like: Hello Kitty perfume, lip gloss, new clothes, and a hairbrush. Katsuki even got himself a t-shirt—but it had Badzt Maru on it instead of something too girly.

As soon as Katsuki put on the shirt, he told me, "You know, babe. There are other clothing stores here—we are in a mall."

But I protested, "But please! Do it for me! There's nothing else going for us and it makes me happy to see the penguin!"

"Alright, but only because we're in a life or death situation."

When the rest saw our clothes, they all wanted to copy us too. Deku, Tenya, and Mirio were now sporting Hello Kitty t-shirts. The perfect outfit for a zombie apocalypse team.

~~~

This is what happens when me and my friend start coming up with ideas together XDD