Katsuki turned on the flame broil grill and started cooking the burgers with help from his Quirk. He was flipping them in the air, chopping onion and bell pepper rapidly with Ginsu knife. He was also flipping ketchup and mustard bottles in the air and catching them behind his back. I was so amazed along with the others.

"Katsuki! You're amazing!" I gasped.

"You're like Gordan Ramsey! Same personality and hair too," Deku commented.

"It's like watching a teppanyaki chef!" Mina giggled.

He threw rice, steak, and shrimp on a teppan grill and proceeded to flame the food with his Quirk as he tossed steak knives into the air for effect.

Katsuki just winked at me and continued to cook. I was flabbergasted at his artistic abilities.

"How come you never told me you were such a talented chef!?" I asked.

"You never asked."

"Well, it's not like I'm just one day gonna ask, 'By the way, are you a teppanyaki chef?'."

"Shush, I'm trying to concentrate."

Deku wobbled up with both arms full of candy and dumped it all on the counter beside the grill. "Could you please add these gummy bears to the patties?"

"These ain't crabby patties, boy! You ain't at the Krusty Krab—this is man food. Now take that crud back where it came from or so help me!"

Deku continued to plea, "Please!!! It's just how my mom used to make 'em!"

"Explains a lot of things."

Speaking of Deku's mom, he started to bawl because he missed her so much. I gave him a hug and comforted, "There, there. We'll find her."

At that, Katsuki interjected, "Then we better start searchin' the gutters first since that's where everyone spawns apparently."

Deku cried even louder.

Mina piped in, "Don't torment the boy! Can't you see he's already depressed?"

We finally sat down to eat this gourmet meal when Hitoshi Shinsou from Class 1-C stumbled in.

"Great, more riffraff," Katsuki groaned.

I was so excited to see him because we had been friends since we were little, giving that we had gone to the same elementary school.

"Hitoshi!!" I squealed.

"(Y/N), is that you? This is the first time in forever since I've seen you."

Katsuki sighed, "Oh, great. The childhood friend. I'm stuck in Twilight with the dogs."

"Hitoshi!" I pulled out a chair for him. "Where have you been? I haven't seen you since I left for camp."

Hitoshi started to tell his story, "I was captured by a group of Nomu and it took forever for me to brainwash them into letting me go since they have the I.Q. of a kumquat."

"You know who else does?" Katsuki muttered, but I stopped him from continuing.

"Yeah, your mom," Hitoshi dabbed.

"THAT TEARS IT—"

Before I could stop him, Katsuki shot up from the table, ready to ground pound Hitoshi but he started trying to hypnotize him, saying, "You will not lay one finger on me." In a monotone voice.

"Your Jedi mind tricks only work on the weak-minded—like Deku!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Deku as he was dumping gummy bears on top of his burger.

"Exactly," Katsuki said. "But I won't hurt you, Jedi wannabe."

"I'm already dead inside anyway so yeet," Hitoshi monotoned.

"You ain't worth it."

Katsuki then walked back to the table and proceeded to eat his burger.

I picked up my cheeseburger and took a big bite, savoring the deliciousness of the melted cheese and delectable sauces. Katsuki really did an excellent job preparing the food. I knew he was already amazing—but him being a good chef increased his awesomeness meter even more.

Hitoshi noticed our brunch, so I handed him a plate and gestured to the grill where the rest of the food was. He went over and asked, "Do you have any vegetarian options?"

"Yeah, the fried Twinkies."

"Never mind then." Hitoshi plopped a burger and a giant steak on his plate then came back to sit at our table. "So much for my Buddhist diet." He chomped into his steak and gulped it down.

Katsuki only rolled his eyes.

Mina then asked, "So, Shinsou. You and (Y/N) knew each other even before U.A.?"

He replied, "Yeah, we used to play The Sims 3 together."

"Ah, how nostalgic," I reminisced. "Remember that time the kraken in that beach world sunk our Sims' ship and we lost all our game data?"

"I think about it every day. I'm still mad."

Hitoshi and I were in the middle of a daze, remembering our past traumatizing game experiences.

Katsuki's eye twitched. My other friends only giggled.

"Well, Shinsou. How did you find us?" Tenya asked.

"Midoriya cries so loud I heard it from across the city."

"Maybe we should just stand on a rooftop and let Deku scream so our other friends will hear it and show up," Mineta suggested.

"That's not actually a bad idea," Katsuki replied.

I said, "No way!"

"Well, where are you guys planning on going anyway?" asked Hitoshi.

"Let's hop a train and ride the rails out of here to Kyoto," suggested Katsuki.

"But what about our friends?" I protested. "We can't just leave them behind!

"I say it's too late for them, but we should save ourselves. The others can tag along if they want or go back and live with my hag mom."

Deku grabbed Katsuki by the collar of his shirt and cried desperately, "BUT YOU PROMISED WE'D LOOK IN THE GUTTERS FOR MY MOM!!!"

"Say it, don't spray it!"

"KACCHANNNN!! BE A HERO!!!" he screeched to the ceiling.

"I'm a fighter, not a lover."

"Katsuki!" I cut in. "You did promise him. You can't break it now!"

"Ughhhhhhhh."

Deku blew his nose on Katsuki's shirt and choked out, "B-B-But. . .I can't do it without'cha! You're my inspiration!"

"FINE, IF YOU PUT A SOCK IN IT!"

"THANK YOU!" Deku sobbed mercilessly and smiled.

Katsuki growled, "I have a feeling I'm gonna regret this."

Later, we all stood outside Deku's dilapidated apartment as he searched the gutter. His unit was demolished and All Might memorabilia was strewn everywhere.

"MY LIMITED EDITION ALL MIGHT POSTERS!!!!" he wailed uncontrollably.

At that, Katsuki had had enough. "Look, useless! I can't save your mom and the posters too so pick one! Which is more important, idiot?"

"M-M-My mom. . ." he choked.

"Maybe she left a note somewhere," Mina suggested.

At that, we started searching through every random piece of paper we could find. Knowing Deku's mom—she would have written a note, so maybe we would get lucky.

Katsuki found a note and said, "Hey! This says your name on it, Deku."

"What does it say?" Tenya asked.

Deku's face lit up with hope as Katsuki read the note aloud, "'Dear. . .Uraraka. I hope this note finds you well. Because you are one dynamite gal'—"

"STOPPP!!!!" Deku demanded, lunging toward Katsuki and the note.

But Katsuki held it up and continued, "'I've been working with Gran Torino—but lately, I find myself thinking about you more and more. I don't know how love feels, but I can't fight this feeling anymore. You got that rosy glow in your cheeks that makes me weaker than All Might when he fought all those villains during the Silver Age.'"

Deku burst out crying and I scolded Katsuki, "Can't you see the boy's suffered enough? Have you no humanity?"

"Fine then." He flung the note into the air and exploded it into ash.

"NO!! I was still gonna send that to her. . ." Deku mumbled.

"Look, I'm not a rock troll like Kirishima, so I'm no love expert. But I say, tell her how you feel face to face."

"Midoriya, listen to the lad!" Tenya contributed. "He's the only one with a girlfriend, so he must be doing something right."

I only blushed.

"Yeah, he intimidated every guy in the school so they wouldn't ask her out," Hitoshi commented.

"No, I chose Katsuki cuz he completes me~" I chirped.

"Awww!" the whole room sighed.

Katsuki walked over to me and grabbed me in a bearhug and lifted me off the ground.

"I don't deserve you," he whispered.

"Heck, you got that right!" Inasa barged in. "I'll toast to that!" As he held up his Capri Sun.

Katsuki picked up one of the All Might figurines and blasted it into Inasa's face.

"OOF."

"Can we just get this thing over with already?" Katsuki grew impatient. "We're losin' daylight here and we don't know how much longer Deku's mom's got!"

At that, Deku screeched and nearly fainted like a Disney princess, but Tenya caught him.

Finally, after searching for an hour from ditch to ditch, looking at every hobo that we came across—we finally found her.

"MOM!!!" Deku shook her awake.

"IZUKU!? MY BABY!? IS THAT YOU!?!?" She woke up and threw her arms around her son, weeping. "OH, SON! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH!"

Katsuki cut in, "Try me."

Poor Inko Midoriya looked like she had been under a steamroller. Her hair was disheveled and her clothes were filthy and torn. Her mascara was running with her tears.

"The Nomu attacked our apartment and ripped it to shreds in the middle of the night while I was watching General Hospital! But thankfully, I went out the fire escape before it was ripped off the wall. I hid in a dumpster for two days with Mt. Lady. I wasn't sure why she was doing nothing about the Nomu, but I decided not to question it. She just mumbled something about how she couldn't afford being billed by the city for another destroyed building."

"That sounds horrible!" Deku sympathized.

Katsuki bit his lip to keep from laughing.

Inko continued, "We lived off Taco Bell and Happy Meals that had been thrown in the trash. It was so traumatizing! Even more so than when your father left."

"About that," Deku interrupted. "Do you have a copy of my birth certificate?"

"Uh. . .well, I accidentally on purpose by mistake dropped it in the sink once."

"Why??"

Tenya interjected, "You shall respect your mother, young man! And don't talk back! Now apologize! And let's get her out of the ditch."

"I'm sorry, Mom! I didn't save you from this fate. . .how will I ever be number one Pro Hero now if I can't even save my mom?"

"Sounds like Tododorky," Katsuki scoffed.

I elbowed him in the rib.

"Ow!"

Inko caught sight of the rest of us and said, "Oh! Your friends! Is that your girlfriend Urakaka?" She walked up to me and gave me a big hug. I politely held my breath to keep from inhaling the vapors. "I saw your note earlier. It was so sweet! Uraraka, has my baby boy been good to you~?"

I hesitated. Did this woman have enough sanity left to handle me contradicting her? But before I could say anything, Katsuki sarcastically said, "Believe me, Ma'am. If she could levitate, we'd be out of here."

"Mom!!" Deku blushed. "That's not Uraraka. That's (Y/N) and she's Kacchan's girl."

"Oh. . .you poor thing!" She hugged me even tighter. "I'm sure you're good for him."

I didn't know whether to take that as an insult or compliment, so I ignored it. Katsuki leaned to my ear and asked, "Can we run now?"

I folded my arms and shook my head, even though it did sound like a good idea.

At that moment, Mirio popped out of the ground like a daisy and said, "Hi, fri—"

Katsuki stomped on his head and pushed him back into the center of the universe.

Only I had seen what he had done, but the shockwave of his stomp drew everyone's attention. He just looked around and said, "Uh, cockroach."

"Oh, well, Izuku. . .I have a confession to make," Inko started.

"What?"

"Here goes," Katsuki rolled his eyes.

I only looked at him, confused.

"I want you to meet your new daddy!" She pulled up a random hobo and we all looked at him. "Meet Toshinori! Or as I like to call 'Stud Muffin'~"

"OH. MY. GOSH," Deku gasped.

Katsuki started cackling manically. I was wondering if he was having a stroke because I've never seen him laugh himself into hysteria.

Before Deku could speak his hero name out loud, All Might raised his index finger up to his own lips to shush Deku into secrecy.

I looked around and said, "Wait, I'm confused now."

But Katsuki immediately placed his hand over my mouth to shush me and whispered in my ear, "Shush, babe. I wanna see this play out. I haven't had this much fun in months."

It finally dawned on me. . . .

Inko Midoriya had married All Might's hobo form. . .and she didn't even realize it was All Might himself.

Mina cringed, "This is so wrong on so many levels."

Deku rushed toward All Might to hug him, but instead, All Might extended his arm to shake his hand instead. "Hello, young man! My name is, er, Toshinori Yagi."

"Nice catch you got there, Ms. Midoriya! Or shall I say, Mrs. Hobo-Yagi?" Katsuki smirked, playing along.

Obviously, Inko had no idea what was going on. But she kept looking back and forth between all of us and her new husband.

"OMG! We need to throw an actual wedding!" Mina insisted.

"Fine idea!" Tenya agreed.

Hitoshi and Inasa were confused.

"Wha?"

"But isn't that—"

"A FINE IDEA!" Tenya talked over him to keep him from saying All Might's name out loud.

Katsuki then marched up to the hobo and said, "Nice to meet you, Mr. Yagi—whom I have NEVER met before! Why don't you let Deku be your best man and I'll be usher?"

"Sure, young Baaaa. . .d boy. Since you're obviously bad to the bone for surviving this apocalypse!" All Might did finger guns and nervously sweated through his clothes.

At which Mineta commented, "Nice save. By the way, will there be single hotties at this wedding?"

Inko replied, "I have no idea. This is all so sudden! But I'm flattered! Thank you all so much for making my dream come true~"

Fuming inside, I grabbed Katsuki by the ear and said, "Give us one moment~ We'll be right back." And I drug him to the alley.

"OW! OW! OW!" he whined.

When we reached the alley, I let go of his ear.

"What's up, babe?" he asked me ever-so-casually.

I slapped him on the shoulder and scowled. "What the chiz!? It's wrong for us to attend a wedding knowing Inko is under this type of deception!"

"Not our business, babe. It's Deku's place, not ours."

"But he's lying to her!"

"The poor woman probably hasn't smiled in years considering she's related to Deku. This is finally giving her some joy. If she can love him as the hobo—she can love him as the Trump."

". . .Maybe you're right," I surrendered. "It'd be nice to feel a sense of normalcy for a day and attend a wedding."

"Hellllooo, she's marrying All Might in a zombie apocalypse. How much normalcy is there in that?"

I slumped my shoulders. "I'm tryna be an optimist."

He chuckled and rolled his eyes before putting an arm around me. "Let's just see how it goes."

Still, it felt weird to see Deku's mom marrying. . .All Might. But I guess it made her happy enough for right now, which was the only thing that was really important.

We both headed back and heard Inko ask, "Are you sure that the wedding isn't too much trouble?"

"Oh, no, girl! Best Jeanist's bridal boutique is just around the corner!" said Mina. "And I'm sure we could find a chapel still standing."

Mineta chirped, "There's a McDonald's across the street where we could hold the reception."

Inko held All Might's arm and bawled. "You have all made me the happiest woman on earth! Thank you again. I just wished Izuku's mentor All Might were here to attend this blessed day~"

The hobo—previously known as All Might—started whistling.

Katsuki wisecracked, "Believe me. He's here with us in our hearts."

"Oh, you're so right!" she smiled.

"We need to all go to Mrs. Bakugou's house and retrieve our other friends so they can attend the ceremony!" said Tenya.

"Why don't we just have the wedding at Bakugou's house?" Tenya suggested. "I think all the churches are gone anyway."

"Just remember, I take no responsibility for anything that may happen if we have the wedding at the hag's lair," Katsuki warned.

"Be nice," I scolded.

"I am."

Well, I guess we were doing this. Marrying All Might and Inko at Katsuki's house. The pollution must have gotten to their heads if she was eloping some hobo on such short notice.

~~~

This is so normal 👌