EIGHT.   SILENCE THE VOICES

Mia saw her dead siblings in Beth and Maggie Greene. Beth was kind hearted, gentle — much like Paris was. When she smiled, Mia saw her baby sister running around the house with dolls in her hands. She was a happy child. Eyes full of stars. She didn't belong in a world so ugly. Perhaps she should be thankful she didn't have to.

Maggie Rhee was all Lucas. Her intelligence, the way she carried herself, it was easy to admire her the way Mia admired her twin brother. And yet that admiration was uncontrollably masked with envy. Jealousy as she watched the sisters together. Laughing. Smiling. Hugging. It was the kind of pain only somebody who lost a sibling could understand.

Maybe they were sent to her to replace her siblings. Maybe Paris and Lucas were in Beth and Maggie's bodies. Maybe Amelia was just losing her mind.

A pile of clothes were in the middle of Beth's bed. Mia sat with her on either side, helping her fold them. Her hands were calloused. The fabrics were soft. They smelled clean. Beth put a neatly folded pair of jeans to the side. "So, have you met any of the younger kids yet?" Asked Beth first.

"I met Lizzie and Mika. And Patrick and uh. . ." She stated with a pause. "Carl."

She smiled at the name. "Carl? Was he nice?"

No. "He didn't really say much." She answered. She folded and refolded a blue T shirt.

"He's been through a lot. We all have. You included. Just give him some time, yeah?" Beth said with sympathy. She'd known Carl Grimes much longer than her. She knew his life.

Mia nodded without a word. She finally put aside the folded shirt.

Rick's heavy footsteps could be heard down the hallway. He popped his head into the cell. "Hey Beth, can you watch Judith for just a minute? I have to take care of something with the animals."

That's when Mia saw the baby attached to his hip. She looked no older than a year old. Bright blue eyes. Without those eyes, it was obvious that she was Rick's daughter.

Beth immediately agreed. "Of course." She answered happily, her eyes gleaming at the sight of the infant.

Rick turned to Mia. "Mia, this is my daughter, Judith." He introduced.

Judith's eyes wondered around the cell like it was a foreign land. Her chubby arms reached for nothing. Mia eyed her with a gaped mouth. "She's beautiful."

"Why, thank you." He chuckled. Beth climbed off the bed and Rick passed the baby to her arms. "I'll see you ladies later."

Beth bounced Judith in her arms and baby talked her, making the child laugh. Mia used to watch her mom bounce Paris around the living room like that to make her laugh.

"Hey Mia, I have to go get her bottle from downstairs. Do you mind taking Carl's clothes to his cell?"

Her question made Mia blink. The thought of taking his clothes to him made her nervous. They hadn't talked to one another. Even on the soccer field, he refused to talk to her. "Y-Yeah, sure."

Beth smiled. "Thanks." She carried Judith out of the cell.

Mia chewed the inside of her cheek until it was raw. She grabbed the stack of Carl's clothes and left the cell. She knew where his cell was but her legs wobbled the whole way there. It was stupid. How could one boy make her feel this way? Mia was never a confrontational person but she wasn't used to people being so cold to her either. The way Carl was.

They were the same age. What possible damage could he do to her? He didn't even know her and yet he already acted like she was a parasite. He didn't know her but she didn't know him either. She didn't know any of them.

Carl's cell was at the end of the hallway on the upper floor. It wasn't as decorated as Beth's but he had a shelf full of comic books and dresser. A picture frame sat on top. Mia placed his clothes on his bed that was covered by a blue comforter. He had one white pillow.

She eyed the many comic books he had. Vivid memories of her walking in to Lucas reading a new comic book on his bed came to mind. He tried all the time to get her to read one. Mia was never interested. Her fingers grazed against for spines, seeing her twin shove one in her face if out excitement. Her eyes began to burn. She looked at the single picture that sat on Carl's dresser. He was younger than he was now, maybe twelve, with his father and woman that looked to be his mother.

They were smiling, the three of them. They looked happy. Eyes crinkled and smile lines showing. An innocent family who didn't know the shit they'd one day endure.

"What are you doing?"

Mia jumped out of her skin. She spun around and Carl stood at the entrance of his cell. She blushed red. "I-uh, Beth asked me to bring your clothes to you." She stuttered and pointed to the stack of clothes on his bed.

His blue eyes pierced her skin like a needle. That intimidating stare. She swallowed a painful lump. "I. . . I like your collection." She pointed to his comics.

Again, there was no response. Carl stood there was his expression cold and judgmental. Mia found herself wishing for the floor to open up again. She needed to go. "Bye." She made a beeline out of the cell.

Carl's voice stopped her. "What's your name again?"

She paused. Is that why he didn't speak to her? Because he didn't remember her name? She slowly turned around again. "Amelia–Mia. Mia Jones." She answered nervously. She ran out of the cell before he said anything else. If he planned on it at all.

She felt as if she couldn't breathe the whole way back to her cell. The scars on her wrists pulsed painfully as if they were trying to rip the stitches. Her hands begged to claw at her throat. She ran back to her cell and pressed her back against the cement wall. She touched her hand to her fast beating hard. "Calm down Mia. It's fine."

Mia stood outside in the courtyard, watching a group of people from the prison prepare to go on a run. Daryl, Michonne, Bob, Sasha, Zack. She walked alongside Beth as they watched. "Are you okay with Zack going?" She asked.

Beth only shrugged. "I have to be, I guess. He's doing his part to help out. Can't really be mad at him for it." She spoke like it was no big deal.

"But he's your boyfriend. It's dangerous to go out there."

"That's true. But he's grown and can make his own decisions. I just have to trust that he'll come back."

Trust was such a viscous word nowadays.

Zack smiled at the pair when he saw them. "Hey, you two. I was just gonna come find you." He kissed his girlfriend like it was as easy as breathing. Mia looked away, her eyes squinting from the sun. "Just wanted to make sure I saw you before I left." He spoke softly to her.

Beth nodded again like it was nothing. "Okay."

Giving them space, Mia walked away and stood by Daryl, watching him load the vehicle. "You're going too?" She asked while looking up at him.

Daryl glanced her way for a split second. "Yep." Was his answer. It was rough and deep. Scary, almost.

She nodded anyway. "Well, be careful. . . Come back." She didn't know what to say so she spoke from her heart.

He paused and looked at her again. She stood with her hands in the back pockets of her jeans, brown eyes squinting. Awkward body language. He nodded. "Yeah. . . Yeah."

The young girl grinned and walked off. He stared at the back of her head for a minute longer before he went back to loading the vehicle.

Carl's mind was always running a million miles a minute. No matter how hard he tried, he could never stop thinking about what was going on around him. Even in the safety of the prison he couldn't help but think about the horrors that tried to emerge themselves into the walls. He was only a kid who was exposed to something he should never have seen. This world wasn't meant for children. From being twelve when the apocalypse started to now fourteen, Carl was not the same little boy he was before the dead started roaming the earth. He didn't think he could recognize himself without having the framed photo of his younger self in his cell.

Carl had to grow up fast in order to survive. Being raised by cold eyes taught him not to cry. The world made him into a weapon and told him to find peace. At one point in his childhood, there was a scream of sorrow that never came out. What is one to do when he doesn't recognize himself anymore?

Carl followed his dad to the pig pen. "Going to check the snares?" he asked loudly.

Rick nodded. "I am. You're not. Do your chores. Read comics. Maybe some books, too. Hang out with Patrick. Maybe go to story time." He named off options.

His teenage son was unamused. "Dad, that's for kids."

What a hypocritical thing to say.

Rick nodded like he just proved his point. "Yeah." He laughed.

Carl looked down at his shoes. He was no longer the kid his mind and body put on display. I met evil when I was a child.

"And hey," Rick continued, putting a hand on his son's shoulder. "Be nice to Mia, okay? Don't leave her out in the cold."

Carl look a step back. "Dad, I don't even know her." He dismissed.

"You didn't know any of these other kids either. What makes her different?"

He didn't have an answer but he was a stubborn child, so he just shrugged. "I don't know. It feels weird having her here." He muttered.

His father gave him a look. "I give you the benefit of the doubt a lot because I know how hard everything has been for you, but not with this, okay? Mia's a kid just like you. She's seen things no kid should ever see. She's scared and feels lonely right now. We're all she has. So please, try to get to know her, alright?" He lectured.

"But. . . she's a girl."

That made him chuckle. Rick shook his head. "I forget you're in that stage. Yes, she's a girl. A girl who's been on her own for a long time. She just needs a friend."

Rick Grimes was a king in his son's eyes. He always had been. A father was supposed to be a man his son looks up to and Carl looked up to him a lot. Rick did not need a crown or throne to be a leader. So whenever he was asked to do something, Carl had no choice but to obey. "Okay." He replied with a stiff nod.

Rick tried desperately to search the innocence that once glistened in his son's eyes, but he couldn't find it. 

Lucas Jones dug two graves for him and his twin sister when he died. The scars of her actions punished her skin as a way to pay for the sins she committed. Her own scars embedded themselves into her hands, grasping them like chains that would forever be locked. Is this my punishment? Are you punishing me, God? There was no God. What kind of God throws a child into a world like this one and says Congrats, you've survived. Now live with the trauma.

Mia saw Lucas in everything she did. When she looked at her reflection in the mirror, she saw the same slender nose and stormy eyes. The same chocolate colored hair and smile lines. The same freckles. She felt him when she ate and saw him when she slept. He stood in every corner wherever she turned. She didn't know if his presence comforted her or haunted her.

But now, as she roamed around the prison yards, she wished for nothing than to have her twin brother by her side.

"Mia!" Patrick's distinctive voice shouted at her from a distance away. He was standing with Carl, a soccer ball in his arms. "Come play with us!"

Carl looked down at his worn out shoes.

Mia shook her head. "I don't want to intrude."

"Non sense! Right Carl?"

All eyes fell on Carl, who stood in silence. He looked up at them through his long brown hair. He thought of what his dad said to him about making friends and getting to know her. Carl sighed. "Yeah." He spoke like he didn't want her to.

Even though she still wasn't convinced, she obliged and joined their game.

"How are things going for you here?" Patrick asked politely.

"Good. Really good, actually. There's some really good people here." Mia replied with a tight smile.

"Definitely!" He agreed. "Mr. Grimes and Mr. Dixon have been real kind to me since I got here."

Carl almost laughed at the way he still called Rick and Daryl Mr.

Mia nodded. "Yeah, they've been great." She glanced over at Carl. "Especially your dad. He's a great man."

He nodded shortly. "He is."

It went quiet after that. Carl looked over Patrick's shoulder and his brows furrowed. "What the hell?" He cursed out loud.

Mia followed his gaze and saw he was watching a group of kids standing by the fence with walkers pushing against it. Carl started to walk toward them and Mia and Patrick followed. The closer they got, the more clear Mia could hear that they were calling the walker Nick. They were naming them?

"You're naming them?" Carl voiced like he read her mind.

The kids turned their attention away from the walkers and to them. "Well, one of them has a name tag, so we thought all of them should." Mika told them with a bright smile.

"They had names when they were alive. They're dead now." He stated the obvious, holding the soccer ball in one of his hands.

"No, they're not. They're just different." Mika's older sister, Lizzie, denied.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Said Carl, growing defensive. "Okay, they don't talk. They don't think. They eat people. They kill people."

"People kill people. They still have names."

Mia and Patrick shared a look from over Carl's shoulder. "Have you seen what happens? Have you seen someone die like that?"

Mia looked his way, visibly shocked by how cruel he was being.

"Yeah, I have." Lizzie answered tightly.

Carl glared at her. "They're not people and they're not pets. Don't name them."

"We're supposed to go read. Come on." The young girl muttered to the other kids and they left to go to the library. 

Mika stayed behind a smiled brightly at Patrick. "You coming to story time tonight?"

She was so much like Paris.

Patrick looked between her and Mia and Carl, feeling embarrassed. "Uh, yeah." He blushed red.

"See you then!"

They watched her smile again and skip off to join the rest of the kids. Carl and Mia looked his way and smirked. "I go sometimes," Patrick tired to defend himself. "I'm immature. You two wouldn't dig it. It's for kids."

"As long as you have fun." Mia assured him, smiling softly.

He grinned. "I'm gonna head up there, too. I'll catch you later young sir, young ma'am." He bowed and walked away.

When they were alone, Mia turned and faced Carl. "Why did you ask her that?" She asked out loud.

Carl furrowed his brows at her sudden change of attitude. "What?"

"You don't know what she's been through. Any of them. She's a kid. We all are."

"They were naming walkers." He stated. "They need to grow up."

Mia shook her head. "You don't get to dictate that. In a world like this, we need to grasp whatever innocence we have left. Yes, they shouldn't name them but they're kids. Let them be."

Carl glared at her. "You don't know me." He spat.

"I was curious before but now I don't think I care enough to find out." She snapped as well and walked away, leaving him by himself.

He stared at the back of her head. There was a burning fire in his stomach like someone just sat his inside on fire. His heart twisted and dropped. Oh, if only she knew who he was, she would be running. It's so hard to forget the tragedy of the past when it's embedded into your skin.