Monday. The dreaded day.

Hindi alam ni Iya kung alam ni Hans na ni-record niya ang kanta nito. He probably didn't know. How else can he say those words? Siguro mas mabuti na ang hindi nito malaman na narinig niya iyon. It would be really awkward if he knew.

But at the same time, keeping it a secret will surely eat her up inside. She has to tell someone. And who better to share this with than Aubrey? But of course, she will have to tell her not to tell Hans. Otherwise, it would be very, very, very embarrassing. Maybe for them both.

She kept on looking at the door, waiting for Aubrey to come. But Hans came in first. Pagkapasok pa lang nito ay alam na nito kung saan siya makikita. He smiled at her.

"Good morning," bati nito sa kanya.

Simple siyang tumango at saka nag-iwas ng tingin.

"Absent ka raw kahapon. Bakit? Napuyat ba kita?"

Pinamulahan siya nang tahasang lumingon ang mga kaklase niya sa sinabi ni Hanson.

"Napuyat? Oy, ano'ng ginawa nyo?" pang-u-usyoso ng isa.

"Wala!" she blurted out. "It's not what you're thinking."

Hans ignored the guy. Kunot-noo lang itong nakatingin sa kanya.

"Galit ka ba?"

"H-Ha?" Umiling siya pero hindi pa rin tumingin dito. "Hindi."

"Iya, look at me." She shivered when he touched her chin with his fingers. Hindi sya makatingin sa mga mata nito. He just professed to her and he doesn't even know na narinig nya! "What's wrong?"

Bahagya niyang inilayo ang mukha at saka muling umiling. "Nothing."

But it was something. They both knew it. Buong umaga ba naman niya itong iniwasan. Syempre, nagtaka ito. He asked Aubrey to ask her what is wrong. Si Aubrey naman, nayamot dahil ginawa na naman nila itong tulay.

"Pinapatanong nya kung pwede raw sumabay sa 'yo pagla-lunch," nakanguso nitong bungad nang mag-dismiss ang klase nila before lunch.

"Okay lang," tipid niyang sagot.

"Magkaaway na naman ba kayo?"

"Hindi."

"E bakit kanina pa sya natutuliro dun? Kuhit nang kuhit, tanungin ko raw kung may problema ka sa kanya."

"Wala akong problema sa kanya."

Aubrey sighed. "Then why are you ignoring him? Come on, Iya. Don't do this to him. Alam mo namang topakin yun e. Kung galit ka sa kanya, sabihin mo agad. Mukhang nababaliw na sya kaiisip kung bakit hindi mo sya pinapansin."

She glanced at Hans. Nakatingin ito sa kanila. She quickly looked away when she caught him staring back.

"I-I have to show you something, but promise me..." She yanked Aubrey's arm. "Huwag mong sasabihin sa kanya."

Aubrey tsk-ed. "Ako pa talaga ang pinaglihim mo e alam mo namang transparent ako sa inyong dalawa."

"Please, Aubrey? Kailangan ko lang talaga ng mapagsasabihan e," pagsusumamo niya.

Bumuntong-hininga ang kaibigan niya.

"Fine," napipilitan nitong sabi. "Ano ba kasi yun?"

"Sabihin ko sa 'yo during lunch."

"So, does this mean na hindi sasabay sa 'tin si Hans?"

Umiling siya. "Hindi sa ngayon."

"Okay. I'll tell him."

Humakbang ito papunta sa upuan ni Hans. The latter became alert.

"Wait, Aubs!" tawag niya. Lumapit itong muli sa kanya. "Sabihin mo sa kanyang hindi ako galit ha?"

"Hmp! Oo na!"

"Thanks!"

--

So Hans went to lunch alone habang siya naman ay kasama ni Aubrey sa isang kainan sa labas ng school. Pagka-order nila ng pagkain ay agad niyang ipinarinig dito ang recorded phone call nila ni Hans. She skipped to the part where he said the words.

"Don't tease me for saying this, okay? I love you."

Aubrey was slack-jawed.

"W-Wait... sya ba talaga yan? As in, Hans? The Hans?"

She nodded, turning red again.

"Oh my gosh! Malala na talaga!"

"Kaya lang naman hindi ko sya pinapansin kanina, kasi hindi ko alam kung paano ko sya kakausapin. Inuunahan ako ng kaba at hiya," paliwanag niya rito.

"Alam nya bang ni-record mo?"

"Hindi. Akala nya kasi tulog na 'ko."

Napahawak si Aubrey sa tigkabilang pisngi nito. She was smiling so widely, her lips are almost twitching.

"I can't believe it! Ikaw na talaga, friend!"

She bit her lip. "I don't know what to do about it."

"Do you feel the same?"

Lalong nag-init ang pisngi niya sa tanong nito. Does she feel the same? Paano mo ba malalaman na mahal mo ang isang tao? How can you differentiate love from infatuation or crush? Simple na bang sagot ang pagkabog ng dibdib, panghihina ng tuhod at pamumula ng pisngi?

Or is love actually deeper than that? Does it mean that you're happy if that person's happy? That you wish for them to be better for themselves? That you're willing to make sacrifices for them?

"Shit, Iya. Please say you do."

"H-Hindi ko alam."

Pero alam nya sa sarili nya ang totoo. Natatakot sya. Baka kasi hindi magtagal. Baka ngayon lang sila ganito. Baka pagkalipas ng ilang linggo, puro sakit na lang ang maramdaman nya. She's not ready to admit it to herself yet. Dahil kapag ginawa niya iyon, wala nang bawian. Wala nang balikan. It will finally become all to real to escape.

"Hindi naman sa pini-pressure kita, 'no? Pero ngayon ko lang nakitang nagkaganito si Hans. Ngayon ko lang nalaman that he's capable of loving someone other than himself. I've never seen him sacrifice anything just to make someone like him. So kung hindi mo alam kung ano ang nararamdaman mo para sa kanya, simulan mo ng alamin. Because I wouldn't dare lie to him, Iya. Kapag tinanong nya 'ko, sasabihin ko kung anuman ang sinabi mo sa 'kin."

--

The talk with Aubrey made Iya's insides heavier. Parang may hollow blocks na naman sa tiyan niya. Hindi sya nakakain ng maayos kaninang lunch. It's a good thing that Hans was trying to respect her space. Hindi ito lumapit muli sa kanya nang dumating ang hapon. He focused on the lectures instead and even managed to answer some questions that the prof threw at the class.

Halos lahat sila ay halatang nagulat. Their faces seem to ask the same question. Si Hanson, sumasagot sa recitation?

Aaminin niyang natutuwa siya dahil nag-aaral na ng mabuti si Hanson. He doesn't smoke anymore. He doesn't drink. Nagmumura pa rin ito pero on extreme cases lang. He's already become a gentleman, her ideal guy. And though nakakakilig because he did all those things for her, hindi pa rin niya maiwasang matakot.

Bago kasi sa pakiramdam. Hindi niya alam kung ano ang gagawin. It's like walking blindly for the first time. Alam niyang ilang beses siyang madadapa along the way. And that's scary.

Kapag lumalapit ito sa kanya, hindi siya mapakali. Kapag naman hindi sila nag-uusap, hindi pa rin siya mapakali. Hanggang mag-uwian kasi, animo'y magkagalit silang dalawa. It was not until the dismissal that he approached her again.

Naglalakad kasi siya papuntang parking lot para sumabay kay Ken pag-uwi. But her twin's nowhere to be found. Hindi naman nito sinasagot ang tawag niya. Nag-text sa kanya kanina ang papa nya na hindi siya nito masusundo dahil may importanteng kailangang asikasuhin sa restaurant. She assumed na sinabi nito kay Ken na isabay siya. Pero wala naman si Ken.

Ayaw niyang abalahin pa ang ama para lang magpasundo. Sanay naman syang mag-commute.

"Iya!"

Ah, right. How can she forget Hans?

"Hatid na kita," sabi nito.

Hindi sya makatanggi. What will she say to him? Na magku-commute na lang sya? At bakit naman nya gagawin yun kung may maghahatid na? Less hassle na, hindi pa sya gagastos. It's quite convenient. And besides, she knew he would be hurt kapag tinanggihan niya ito.

So she simply nodded.

Pinuntahan nila ang sasakyan nito. Ilang habang pa ang layo niya roon ay nagpatiuna na ito para pagbuksan siya ng pinto. She put on her seatbelt after boarding the car. Hans quickly followed. She was thankful that he remained quiet throughout the ride. Ni hindi ito nagtanong tungkol sa inasal niya kanina.

Nang makarating sila sa bahay ay bumaba pa ito para pagbuksan siya ng pinto. She couldn't look into his eyes. Lalo na noong hindi agad ito bumalik sa sasakyan. He was waiting for her to say something, pero wala syang nasabi kundi 'Ingat'.

Tumango na lamang ito saka umalis.

--

When she got inside the house, nakita niya si Ken sa harap ng TV. Nakapambahay na ito.

"Sa'n ka nanggaling? Kanina pa kita tinatawagan."

"Nandito lang ako, kanina pa." Ngumisi ito sa kanya. "Bakit?"

"Bakit hindi mo 'ko hinintay? Same time naman tayo ng uwi!"

"Kasi yung Hans mo, nakiusap sa 'king sya na lang ang maghahatid sa 'yo."

She gaped at him. "At pumayag ka naman?!"

He pulled two movie tickets from his pocket. "Ang hirap nyang tanggihan e."

"I can't believe you let him bribe you!"

Ken laughed. "What's wrong with that? He took you straight home like he told me, didn't he?"

Sinimangutan niya ang kapatid. Hindi na siya nagtaka kung bakit pumayag itong si Hans ang maghatid sa kanya kapalit ng dalawang movie tickets. May international movie kasi na ipapalabas a week from today, and Ahn's been gushing about it since last week.

Of course, her brother will grab the opportunity to impress Ahn.

Naiiling na lamang siyang pumanhik sa kwarto. Sabagay, nangyari na e. Saka, nakauwi naman siya ng maayos. She decided to let this one slide for now.

Kasalukuyan siyang nagpapalit ng damit nang biglang tumunog ang phone niya. Dali-dali niya iyong kinuha para tingnan ang dumating na text message. As expected, it came from Hans.

From: Hans

I'm sorry for whatever I did or said that upset you.

She decided to reply, just to ease his mind.

To: Hans

Walang kang ginawa. It's just me.

From: Hans

Gasgas na yang line na 'It's not you, it's me'. I know I'm a pain in the ass, so if you're acting like that, it's probably my fault.

"Well, sort of," she muttered to herself.

From: Hans

Will you ignore me again tomorrow? Kasi kung oo, aabsent na lang ako.

To: Hans

Hindi na. Huwag kang umabsent, baka mamiss kita.

She meant to erase the last part, then later send the message. But instead of hitting the backspace, yung send ang napindot niya. It happens whenever she's thinking of what to do next while doing something else. Panicking, she hit the off button of the phone, silently wishing na sana hindi nag-send ang message na yun.

Nang buksan niyang muli ang phone, isang bagong message ang agad na sumalubong sa kanya.

From: Hans

Alright. ;)