Update ^^,

--

*Rico*

Chance. The one thing that I longed to have. And she gave that to me. Akala ko okay na. Akala ko masaya na. Alam mo yun? Akala ko matatapos na yung kwento. Feeling ko naman gusto na nya ako eh.

Kaso... chance.

Isang bagay na ayaw kong ibigay sa iba. Pero hiniling nya eh. Anong magagawa ko? Di ba ginagawa naman talaga natin yung mga bagay na makapagpapasaya para sa mga taong mahal natin?

Ang hindi ko lang alam eh kung sasaya ba sya sa ginagawa ko.

But for Gale... I will give Femi a chance... starting today.

Wala na yung pakulo ni Author na sama-sama kami sa kwarto. Pinagamit na nya lahat. Tingin ko nawawalan na rin sya ng pag-asang magkakaayos-ayos kami. Ako din eh. Just when I thought that everything was falling into the right places... Magkasundo na si Toby at Gale. Gusto na ako ni Gale. Toby and Femi seemed to be getting closer. Si Jasmine.... hindi naman demanding yun eh.

Tapos... haay... feeling ko back to zero na naman. Ayoko na! Ayoko ng maging fictional character! Wala akong hawak sa fictional kong buhay. Kung anong gustuhin ni Author, yun ang gagawin ko. Kung ano yung nararamdaman nya, dapat yun din ang nararamdaman ko.

Tsk. Literary fiction is a very cruel world. Tingin nyo ba choice ni Fred (or was it George?) na mamatay sa Harry Potter? Kung tutuusin... Aish. Wag na nga...

Hindi naman ata kayo interesado sa Harry Potter eh. Sige, magkikwento na lang ako ng nangyayari sa 'min ngayong araw.

Wala.

Ayan. Walang gumagawa nung plano para sa bahay. Aba! Magti-third week na kami dito! Namimiss ko na nga yung malalaking building sa 'min eh! Dito puro dagat! North, south, east and west.... dagat! Punyemas! Isang linggo pa, magmumukha na akong isda!

"Rico... gusto mong merienda?"

I looked up at Femi, may dala-dala syang isang bowl ng minatamisang saging.

I smiled at her. "Thanks." Then umusod ako ng konti para makaupo sya sa tabi ko. She smiled as she slip down the space I provided.

"Gusto mong subuan kita?"

No. "Sure."

Her smile widened saka kinuha yung tinidor, tumusok ng isang piraso at isinubo sa 'kin.

"My turn." Kinuha ko sa kanya yung tinidor at sya naman ung sinubuan ko. Hindi nakaligtas sa 'kin yung pagdaan ni Gale. She stared at us...

Is this what you want Gale? I want to ask her. But I guess I don't have to. Hindi ako tanga para hindi mapansin na nasasaktan sya. Nasasaktan kami. Pero bakit sya ganun. She's the last person na maiisip kong gagawa nito. Hindi sya yung klase ng tao na pinamimigay yung mga bagay (o tao) na gusto nya.

Kadalasan sya yung nang-aagaw. Kadalasan, sya yung kumukuha. Hindi sya mapagbigay. But I already accepted that about her. I love every little bad thing about her. I love her. I'm in love with her and she loves me. She's in love with me.

Pero bullshit lang...

Clearly love wasn't enough. And people dare to wonder why many couples today end up breaking up? Simple lang naman ang rason eh. It's complicated. Taeh lang pero totoo. Minsan, kahit ayaw mo mang gawing komplikado ang lahat, sa ayaw o sa gusto mo, sasabit at sasabit ka.

Kahit anong iwas mo, may masasaktan ka.

At ikaw naman na may mabait na konsensya, you'd choose to get yourself hurt just to spare others from getting hurt. Which is stupid really. Kung gusto ka nya at gusto mo sya, 'wag nyong hayaang paghiwalayin kayo ng iba.

Maramot na kung maramot. Mutual naman yung feelings eh. Anong problema dun? Tingin mo ba kapag nagparaya ka, yung taong ipinaraya mo, matutuwa?

Anong karapatan mo para iparaya sya eh hindi mo naman sya pag-aari?

He's not yours to give. If he didn't want to go, then don't make him.

Maling-mali si Gale eh. Mali 'to. Why didn't she let me do what I want? Bakit kailangan pa nyang humiling sa 'kin?

Eh ang tanga ko rin kase ano? Pumayag ako. Why?

Cause it's complicated.

Best friend namin pareho ang masasaktan. But for the process of making her happy, kami naman ang nasasaktan. Punyemas! Ang hirap ng love story ko!

"Rico...."

"Hmm?"

"Thanks ah."

"No problem." I didn't bother asking kung para saan yung pasasalamat nya. Thanks because I chose her? Yeah. No problem.

"Hindi mo naman kailangang gawin 'to pero ginagawa mo pa rin." Yumuko sya.

"Talaga? Hindi ko kailangang gawin? And what will that make you if I didn't do this? Will you be happy for us?"

She pressed her lips together, as if she's trying hard not to cry. Nakaka-guilty. This is why things are so complicated. Haaay...

"I'm sorry..."

I sighed and put my arms around her. "Alam mo ba kung bakit ko ginagawa 'to? Kase sabi nya... For once, I've seen her be selfless. Sa 'yo lang nya ginawa yan. She didn't even consider what I'd feel... not that I don't like you Femi... I just don't like you that way."

"Bakit ba kase nagkaganito tayo?"

I chuckled. "Aba itanong mo kay Author. I, too, don't understand this."

"Rico..."

"Hmm?"

"I'm still fighting for you, just so you know. If she gave me the upper hand, I'll take anvantage of that just to get you."

Fcuk.

"I didn't know you were this selfish Femi." I was disgusted by her attitude. Nasan na yung kilala kong Femi na marunong magparaya? Yung Femi na selfless? Don't tell me, underneath all that goodness is this?

"I've been selfless all my life Rico. Palagi kong inuuna ang iba. This is the first time that I'll bite back."

"I might hate you for this you know..."

Yumakap sya sa akin. "I know. But I still got to try."

"Why? Kahit na alam mong hinding hindi kita mamahalin, susubukan mo pa rin?"

"You can't know that. Si Gale nga nagbago ang isip eh, ikaw pa kaya..." She said with confidence. The confidence which I never saw in her before. And I was even more disgusted.

"I'm not like her. This heart... won't be yours. No matter how hard you try Femi, I won't be yours."

Ayos lang kaming mag-usap ano? Distant kami sa isa't isa sa tono ng pananalita pero magkatabi kami at nakaakbay pa ako sa kanya.

Ganun talaga. We're still best friends anyway.

"Hindi ako susuko. I'd wait for another six years if that's what it takes."

"Even if you wait forever—"

She shushed me by kissing me. Shit talaga! Pati pagiging aggressive nakuha na nya kay Gale! Naitulak ko sya ng bahagya. And I was surprised to see her smiling.

"You kissed me back!" She said.

"No I didn't!"

 But it was like talking to a child. Hindi sya nakikinig. She just stood up and skipped away. Teka, yung pagkain napansin nyo bang nawala sa eksena? Ako din eh. Eto nakita ko, tumapon pala sa sahig. Haaay... sayang.

*Gale*

So this is why hindi nagseseryoso si kuya. I thought that he was being stupid, wasting his time being cynical about love. Had I known that it would hurt like this, I shouldn't have let myself fall in love in the first place.

But can I really choose not to?

"Best friend!"

I snapped my head to the direction of Femi's voice. She was giddy. Mukhang may magandang nangyari ah.

"Rico kissed me! Can you believe that?"

No, of course not. Why would I believe that? Bakit naman sya hahalikan ni Rico? He doesn't love her...

"Well... how was it?" Punyeta. Patigasan kami ng mukha ah...

"Heaven best friend! Sana nga maulit ulit eh!"

Gusto ko syang sabunutan. Gusto ko syang ikadena at itapon sa dagat para lapain ng pating. Seeing her happy brings me such pain. But seeing her sad devastates me. Parang tanga lang talaga... Konti na lang hindi ko na kakayanin.

The first man I fell in love with... he was in love with someone else. No... let me correct that. He was MADLY in love with her.

The second man I fell in love with... well... ipinamigay ko sa best friend ko. Ang tanga mo Gale! Tanga ka talaga! Pwede ka ng santa!

I smiled bitterly. "He kissed you huh?"

She nodded, her eyes full of mischief.

I'm seeing myself...

Talaga bang ganito ang impluwensya ko kay Femi? She was the total opposite of the Femi I met six years ago sa corridor ng college namin.

She's now confident, beautiful... selfish and a rotten liar.

Funny... that was me back then. Totoo pala yung kasabihan na ang magnanakaw, galit sa kapwa magnanakaw. Ang mang-aagaw, galit sa kapwa mang-aagaw. I've stolen Rico's heart for six years...

And now that she's stealing it back...

Haaay...

How did it get so complicated?

*Femi*

Happiness is a choice. And I chose to be happy. They chose the pain. It's not my fault. I didn't ask for a chance but they gave me one.

Aba sino bang tatanggi?

Gale chose the wrong thing of letting Rico go. Ngayong pinakawalan na nya sya at ipinaubaya sa 'kin, I'll make sure that he won't go back to her. Not now, not ever.

Wala ng best friend, best friend. Ang tagal ko ng naging martyr. Now it's my time to shine. *smirk*

I didn't turn evil. No. On the contrary, I just learned to take my chances. To risk losing everything... Tumapang lang ako... It's not my fault that some people are chickening out.

For so many years, they shook their heads on me saying that I have no chance. I won't survive because I am too weak. Now let me show them...

The things I'd do for love... you couldn't even begin to imagine...

--

So... I can't really bear to see them happy XD