Ahn had to smile while crying so the witnesses could be convinced that she was just overwhelmed with happiness. She didn't imagine her wedding to be held inside a small office. Gusto niya ng kasal sa simbahan. Yung traditional. She wanted to get excited as she chooses her wedding gown. She wanted to walk down the aisle and to see him waiting at the altar.

But she doesn't deserve that. Ken doesn't love her. He's just doing this for payback.

Namanhikan si Ken sa kanila. They went on dates, pero sa publiko lang ito sweet sa kanya. Kapag sila na lang dalawa ang magkasama, he's colder than ice. She tried not to savor those sweet moments, dahil mabilis din naman iyong mawala. Why hang on to something that will eventually be gone?

When Ken told her to play along during the family dinner, she didn't. Inisip lang niya na ikakasal sila dahil mahal siya ni Ken at mahal din niya ito. What she showed them wasn't pretense. It's real, as real as it can get.

Iya and Hans didn't dine with them. Masama raw ang pakiramdam ng kinakapatid niya and her husband needs to take care of her. But she knew better. Syempre, hindi payag si Iya. Galit pa rin ito sa kanya. Siguro lalong nadagdagan ang galit na iyon dahil alam niyang nasasaktan ang kaibigan nitong si Aubrey.

And that made it worse. Hindi lang siya ang nasasaktan. Kahit ano pa rin talaga ang gawin niya, may masasaktan at masasaktan pa rin. Siguro kapag nakuha na ni Ken ang gusto nito sa kanya, once he gets even, magpapakalayo-layo na lamang siya.

Sirang-sira na ang relasyon niya sa mga taong nakapaligid sa kanya. Even after three years, that would be hard to fix.

And it doesn't end there. The school caught up with her personal life. Nang malapit na siyang mag-martsa, kumalat ang bali-balitang nabuntis daw siya kaya siya magpapakasal agad pagkatapos niya sa kolehiyo.

Pati mga kapitbahay nila ay iyon ang pinaniwalaan. Awang-awa siya sa mga magulang na kabi-kabila ang ginawang pagpapaliwanag. Pati ang mga kapatid niya ay hindi nakaligtas, lalo na si Sabrina.

Maya't maya ay may nangangaral dito. Huwag kang gagaya sa ate mo ha. Saka ka na mag-asawa. Tumulong ka muna sa mga magulang at kapatid mo.

Mas lalo pang bumaba ang tingin ng mga tao sa kanya. Madalian na nga ang kasal, hindi pa sa simbahan. Ni hindi man lang pinaghandaan.

May ibababa pa ba ang pagkatao niya?

--

He may be acting like an asshole, but he wasn't exactly heartless. He knew those were not tears of joy. Her smile wasn't caused by happiness. Ahn's miserable, and it's kicking him in the gut. The dingy room wasn't romantic at all. They were both wearing casual clothes. Tanging parents lang nila pareho ang kasama. Saka sina Zanjo at Abby. Iya didn't even congratulate him.

Galit na galit pa rin ito sa kanya. Halos dalawang buwan na rin silang hindi nag-uusap.

"Ken," untag sa kanya ni Zanjo.

"Ha?"

"Tinatanong ka ni mayor."

It was his turn to say 'I Do'. Hindi niya namalayan na malapit na palang matapos ang walang-kabuhay-buhay na civil wedding nila ni Ahn. Ganoon na ba sya ka-preoccupied?

Tumikhim siya saka kinuha ang singsing.

"I do," he said dryly.

When it was Ahn's turn, kita niya kung paano ito nakatutok sa librong binabasa ng mayor. It's like she's absorbing every word. Nangingilid na ang luha nito nang matapos ang mahabang litaniya.

"I-I do," mahinang-mahina nitong sagot.

Ngumiti ang mayor. "I now pronounce you man and wife." Tumingin ito sa kanya. "You may now kiss the bride."

Nanlamig ang buo niyang pagkatao. How could he forget the kiss? Ayaw niyang halikan si Ahn. Well, truth is, he wanted to. He had been wanting to kiss her all those years. Pero ayaw niyang gawin dahil baka mapaamin siya ng wala sa oras.

But what can he do? Hindi naman pwedeng halik lang sa pisngi.

To think that this will be the first kiss that they will be sharing... He suddenly felt heavy, like all his bad decisions came weighing in. But he can't just drop the act. Not now, not when he's so close to getting even.

He pulled Ahn gently and wrapped his arm around her waist while his other hand cupped her face. He lowered his face to hers, gently, as if the mere contact will break her. He clamped his mouth shut, not wanting to deepen the kiss. Not wanting to reveal what he really feels.

But damn her lips for being so soft... and innocent. And he was momentarily taken back to the time where she was just wearing cologne and baby powder. Noong mga panahong bawal pa itong ligawan. Back when the only thing he wanted to do was to be by her side and protect her from the world.

Now, the only one she needs to be protected from is him.

--

She knew there was no feeling behind that kiss, but Ahn couldn't help but melt into his arms when he kissed her. She had been imagining about this moment for what seemed like forever. And though it's still a good kiss, she can't help but feel a little sad knowing that it wasn't given out of love. And that ruined the nostalgia.

Before she could even get lost in it, he ended it abruptly. Their parents gave them their congratulations kahit na bakas sa mukha ng mga ito ang pagkabahala. Kumain sila sa labas pagkatapos. Her mom even ordered a three-tiered cake na may vanilla icing at newlywed figurines as cake topper.

She wanted to flinch as Ken took her hand. He gave her the knife and hand in hand, they cut a slice. Sinubuan pa sya nito ng cake. He was so sweet during dinner, he almost made her tooth ache. But all the sugarcoating and pretending came to a halt nang makarating sila sa bahay nila.

Iyon yung bahay na matagal na raw pinag-iipunan ni Ken. He was finally able to pay the last slab of cash needed before they got married. Palabas nito sa mga magulang nila, graduation gift nito iyon.

Ken's been earning approximately 80,000 pesos a month. She didn't exactly know what the amount is in Canadian dollar but he gave her the estimate in peso, just to brag.

After parking the car, they brought their things inside the house. Pagkalapag nila ng mga gamit sa sala ay umakyat na si Ken sa kwarto. She followed meekly. Kinakabahan na siya kanina pa lang. What's after the wedding?

Normal couples would say honeymoon. Siya, hindi sigurado.

Ken turned around when he's atop the stairs. "Your room's at the end of the hallway," sabi nito sa kanya.

He entered the room to his right and slammed the door shut. Somehow, nakahinga siya ng maluwag knowing that she won't be forced to spend the night with him.

Tinungo niya ang room na sinasabi nito. The door creaked. Kinapa niya ang pader para sa switch and when she did, she flicked it. Pero hindi nagliwanag. Kinuha niya ang phone sa bulsa at saka binuksan iyon para magkaroon ng kaunting liwanag.

Walang bumbilya ang ilaw. She saw a bed in the middle. May kutson na iyon, kaso ay mukhang balot pa. May isang unan na nakalagay sa ibabaw at isang manipis na kumot. Walang electric fan.

Pero maraming box sa gilid ng kwarto. She realized that it wasn't really a room. Tambakan iyon ng mga gamit.

--

Kinabukasan, maagang nagising si Ahn. Partly because she wasn't able to sleep well. Mainit sa loob ng tambakan dahil walang bintana. She had to keep the door ajar just to let a small amount of air in, or else, she'll suffocate.

Pinigilan niya ang sariling umiyak kagabi. Ganito yata ang buhay niya araw-araw. And it's just a start. Kailangan niyang maging matigas para makatagal siya ng tatlong taon na ganito.

Bumangon siya kaagad kahit hindi pa sumisikat ang araw. Bumaba siya sa kusina para magkape. The house was already fully furnished. May mga pwede na ring lutuin sa ref. And there are other rooms besides the one she slept in last night.

But Ken can't even give her that. Ano pa nga ba naman ang aasahan niya? Siguro nga ay bagay lang sa kanya ang matulog sa tambakan ng mga gamit nito.

Nagtimpla siya ng kape at nagluto ng agahan.

Ken woke up at around 6:30. Agad itong bumaba, naghilamos sa banyo at nagmumog. Saka ito pumunta ng kusina at naupo sa may table.

"Good morning," bati niya rito. Hindi na siya ngumiti, para saan pa kung makikipagplastikan siya?

He smiled though. "Morning. Had a good sleep?"

Alam niyang nanunuya na naman ito. Her back aches. Her head hurts from the lack of sleep. At pakiramdam niya'y puro pantal ang buo niyang katawan dahil sa alikabok.

"I've had worse," she told him.

"What's for breakfast?"

Inabutan niya ito ng pagkain. She made shanghai rolls for him, like what she gave him when they were in high school. Saka sinangag. Tapos ay ipinagtimpla niya ito ng kape.

"Walang lason 'to?" tanong nito sa kanya.

"Wala," tipid niyang sagot. "Kumain na 'ko, by the way. In case you're interested to know."

"I'm not," pakli nito.

"Okay."

Ken started eating. Nasa may counter lang siya, pinapanuod itong kumain. Those shanghai rolls were her babies. Kung ito ay signature dish ang spaghetti, shanghai rolls naman ang sa kanya. Siguro ay dahil na rin sa gustong-gusto ito ni Ken noong high school kaya pinag-aralan pa niyang mabuti kung paano iyon mapapasarap lalo.

"Walang lasa. Do you always cook like this?"

She gave him the salt and pepper.

"Okay lang naman ang lasa para sa 'kin," sagot niya.

"This can't be mended with salt and pepper." Ken stood up and took the plate to the trash. He threw the whole thing there. "I'll just eat outside."

"Sana hindi mo na lang tinapon. Sayang yung pagkain."

Ken smiled.

"Maraming bagay ang sayang pero itinatapon na lang ng basta-basta. You should know this since you're the expert on the dumping department."