Sixteenth Verse

When I'm looking at you
When I'm looking at you like this
when you're talking to me
when you're talking to me of many things
do you know how much I'm hoping this is real?
-translated from “Do You Really Know”
from Future Colors' first album Future Colors

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Seoul, South Korea
Five days ago...

 “How are you feeling?” Jungkyu asked as he came into the room.

 “I wish they'd let me go home, already,” Minha whispered. “But everyone keeps telling me to stop worrying about it and rest!”

 “And you have to rest,” his friend said firmly, pushing him back down when he tried to sit up. “After what happened. It wouldn't have happened if you weren't tired and stressed out.”

 “But, Jungie-ya...” Minha wanted to raise his voice, but it broke off on the last syllable. Jungkyu gave him an exasperated look. “You're not supposed to be talking,” the band leader pointed out. 

 Minha glared even more, than reached for his handphone and began typing. When he finished, he shoved the phone at Jungkyu.

 - I can't run away from Manager Oh, I can't even talk back to him. It's driving me crazy. Take me back to the dorm and let me lock the door. Please?

 “You know the doctors said you have to stay here for a while longer,” Jungkyu said with a sigh. “Just close your eyes and tune out old Flapmouth. If you sleep, you won't hear him.”

 -Easier for you to say. You're not the one trapped in this bed while he drones on for hours.  I could scream.

 “Just try to keep from talking, okay. Your throat needs to get better.” Jungkyu glared back.

 Someone knocked on the door. Both boys looked up to see Mia noona peek into the room.

 “May I come in?” she asked.

 “Sure, noona,” Jungkyu said, coming to meet her. She handed him a basket of fruit and came to sit by Minha's side.

 “How is our patient?” she asked. 

 “Grumpy, as usual,” Jungkyu answered. Minha glared and shoved the phone at him.

 -Stop answering for me!

 “Grumpy and petty,” the other guy added. “I'm going out to get some water, noona, so you can have a nice chat. It's a good thing you know Hangul. And that Minmin's typing it instead of writing. You really don't want to be reading his awful foot-writing, noona.”

Ya! Minha's mouth opened wordlessly. He shook his fist at his friend. Jungkyu grinned and bowed out of the room, but poked his head back in for another shot.

“Tsk. Such behavior in front of Mia noona. Really, Minmin-ah, you must learn to behave.”

Just wait till I get my voice back, you bad friend.

“Jungkyu's having a bit of fun with you losing your voice, huh?” Mia noona observed. “Don't raise your arm too much, kiddo, it interferes with your I.V. Just lay it flat so it will flow better.”

Minha reached for his phone.

-Noona, get me out of here, please, before Manager Oh arrives.

“Oh, Jungkyu, you're here?” a voice asked loudly just outside the door.

Mia noona echoed Minha's thoughts.

“Too late.”

“Seo Miah-sshi, you're here too,” Manager Oh observed when he entered the room. “I do hope our patient has been good?”

Mia noona gave him a curt nod in response to his shallow bow; Minha hid a smile.

“Do put away that phone, boy, you're supposed to rest,” the manager fussed, coming around to Minha's other side since Mia noona showed no signs of giving up her seat. Minha stared him down and handed the phone to Mia noona.

“How the hell does he think I'm supposed to communicate if I put away my phone?” Mia noona read out loud. “Am I supposed to learn sign language now?”

Manager Oh glared at Minha, but immediately smiled when Mia noona looked at him.

“The boy seems a bit, um, high-strung today,” he stated. “Of course, Minha, you don't need to learn sign language. Why don't you just, um, rest comfortably? Have some fruit. It was so kind of you to come, Seo Miah-sshi, especially in your condition.”

“My condition is coming along very well, thank you, Manager Oh.” Mia noona bared her teeth at him in what might be interpreted as a smile, but which Minha privately thought was more like a wolf warning off an enemy. He retrieved the phone and began typing furiously.

-Noona, don't read this aloud please. Noona, don't leave me alone with him, I beg you.

“Of course, of course,” Manager Oh was saying. “But it is really very kind of you to spare some time for the boy-- I'm sure your schedule must be very busy.”

“Not too busy for this hospital visit,” she stated, with a smile at Minha. “Actually I had a checkup here today-- I decided I might as well maximize the chance and drop in on one of my favorite singers. Jae-seung will be coming by for me later-- he wanted to visit Minha too, but had an early-morning appointment on a talk show, so we decided to just meet here.” She looked back up at Manager Oh. “Don't let me keep you from your other appointments, Manager Oh-- I know Junhee, Sangmin and Myungseok will be guesting on a variety show this afternoon.  You have been working hard!”

Aha, well done, noona. Minha lay back more comfortably and watched the verbal sparring with interest. The mention of Jae sunbae, the idol that President Kang had managed for many years, the first talent signed by Royal Ent., who was rumored to be the agency president's most trusted and closest advisor, did a lot to make Manager Oh watch his words. 

Jungkyu came back in, talking on his phone and juggling two bottles of water in his other hand. He quickly deposited the bottles on the bedside table and turned to Manager Oh.

“Sir, it's Junhee, asking if you were on your way to the dorm to get them.”

“All right, tell him I'll be there soon.” 

Minha let out a long sigh of relief when their manager left. 

-Thank you, noona.

She patted his arm comfortingly.

“Just try to rest now, hmmm? Has your mother been by... no, don't try to answer that. Jungkyu-ya?”

 “She comes here everyday but she hasn't been here yet today, noona.”

 Minha rolled his eyes. He loved his Eomma, but she had a tendency to fuss. She did bring his favorite dishes though. And spent most of her visiting time trying to feed him to bursting. He tried to tell her he'd be okay, he was okay except for his voice, and she still had his Appa and his two other siblings to look after, but she just scolded and went on trying to poke more food into his mouth.

 -When can I get out of here? Can you find out?

Jungkyu read the message and sighed.

“When the doctors say you can,” he answered.

Minha tapped his phone pointedly.

“We can ask the doctor when he drops by on his rounds,” his friend added.

Jae sunbae arrived a while later, trailed by his ever-present assistant, Jeon Samdong (not a relative). He shook his head at Minha.

“Well, that was spectacular,” he commented. “Losing your voice and then fainting on stage. You've been the number one most searched item on the Internet these past few days. The phones at Royal don't stop ringing, Nam – President Kang tells me.”

-Sorry, sunbae.

“Why are you sorry?” Mia noona asked before Jae sunbae could respond. “You were hungry and exhausted. I thought Royal treated its talents better than that.” 

“Don't glare at me, yeobo, I'm not in charge of his schedule,” Jae sunbae quipped. His wife glared at him even more. He raised his hands quickly in mock surrender. “I'm just a talent!”

 “Yeah, sure, idol-boy.” But she smiled.

 I'm Jeon Minha of Future Colors. Having to cope with the hectic schedule and the fatigue is part of the price I have to pay for being in showbiz. I should have been able to deal with it, the way others do, the way Jae sunbae did and still does. There are so many other guys out there who would die for the chance to be me. And I really don't want to be anything else.

* * *

Three years ago...

“It's the practice teaching that I'm half dreading and half looking forward to this year, really,” Bea said. 

 “Practice teaching?” Minha asked.

 “Yeah. Being a student teacher. I will need to teach some classes for a few weeks, it's a requirement.” She looked up at him with a half-smile. “To tell the truth, I'm really kind of-- scared I won't be good at it. And I have to be.”

 Because she had no other option. This was the path that had been laid out for her since she was small, the dream she was always told she should have.

 Minha looked out across the garden. It was late in the evening and all they could see from the upstairs balcony were dark shapes and shadows. The other boys were playing video games in their suite, so he'd wandered out for some peace and quiet, and found Bea sitting on the cane settee on the darkened balcony. 

 “Hey. It's me. You're not asleep yet?” he asked.

 “No... I wanted some fresh air,” she said, and scooted to the end of the settee as he approached and sat down beside her.

 “This is my favorite place in the house,” she added. “It's a nice place to sit and think.”

 “What about?”

 “Just... stuff. Like school, the future... what to do with my life.”

 “So... what are you going to do with your life? Aside from being a teacher, that is.”

 “I want to save up and get a hand tractor for Tatay and Manong Betong, to make their work on the farm easier. Right now they use Manang Mia's farm machinery, but everyone else is also borrowing it. But first I'll get a washing machine for Nanay.” She propped her chin on her hand. “I'll be happy to graduate and find a job, then I can help my family more.”

 He gave her a sidelong glance.

 “How about yourself?” he wanted to know. “You only mentioned what you wanted to do for your family. What are you going to do about yourself?”

 “Well... after I graduate, I still have to take the board exams to qualify to teach in a public school. Thankfully, both Manang Mia and Manong Abet assured me they'll help with my expenses. After that I'll probably try to get a job with a private school while waiting for an opening in the public school. And hope that I will get assigned here, instead of somewhere else.” She sighed. “At least, if I get the chance to be the coach for some extra-curricular activities I might still get to travel. Otherwise, it'll be 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. for me, with lesson plans and activities and quizzes and exams to prepare and supervise and grade.” 

 “At least you get weekends and holidays off,” he tried to point out. “And summer too, right?”

 The smile she gave him clearly meant he didn't know what he was talking about.

 “Teachers do a lot of community work,” she said. “Like, when there are activities during the holidays and local festivals, the schools are usually involved. Stuff like organizing the parades and programs, and training the kids to take part. Also, elections are usually held in the summer, in May. Teachers are also on the election board for each voting precinct; they can't rest until the elections are over and the votes have been counted and tallied, and the ballot boxes have been delivered to the COMELEC for safekeeping.”

 Minha stared.

 “That sounds like a lot of work.”

 She shrugged.

“It's part of the job. I have to be able to deal with it, since I chose the profession.”

 “But you didn't exactly choose it...”

 “I could have said no. I didn't think I could handle the other options though-- I'm not suited to be a nurse or a policewoman or an agriculturist. And being a teacher is a nice steady job.” She looked out at the garden again. “I just hope I'll be up to it.”

 He reached for her hand.

 “I know you'll be,” he told her. He felt a little ashamed of himself, suddenly. 

 Just a feeling. That you complain just to be annoying. That was what she'd said when they were on the beach.

 No wonder she'd been irritated with me at first. She probably thought I was petty and irresponsible. 

 And I am.

 I wanted to be in showbiz.  And now, because of several lucky breaks, I am. No matter how much I dislike Manager Oh, he's part of the hand that's been dealt me. So I have to be able to cope with him and whatever he throws at me, because it's part of this career that I chose to be in. I should be able to face up to my responsibilities, to the things I need to do, like Bea does.  

 Ugh. All of this talk is turning me into a chicken. Minha shivered.

 He looked up and realized she was looking at him with a smile, so he pulled her closer to him. The expression in her eyes made him feel as if his heart was turning somersaults in his chest.

 “Thank you,” she whispered, and it was a long moment before he realized she was thanking him for what he'd said.

 “Do you even know what you're doing to me?” he whispered back before he leaned forward and kissed her.

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Vocabulary

Foot-writing - In Korea, when someone's handwriting is very bad, they say it looks like the person wrote it with their foot instead of their hand, hence "foot-writing."

Turning into a chicken - getting goosebumps. The Korean term for goosebumps can be translated as "chickenbumps."

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Author's Note

We're about halfway (or a little more than) through the story at this point!  I originally aimed for only 50,000 words and we've just about reached that point, so I can't believe how long this is getting to be. 

Do tell me your comments, suggestions, and reactions (violent or otherwise)!