Fifth Verse

Just walking down the street
it makes a big difference
if I'm not with you or not
rainy days make me warm and happy
as long as I see you...

-translated from “Exquisite Torture”
from Future Colors' first mini-album Love/Pain

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They both began to run.

Nothing was left behind in the cottages-- not Minha's bag, or his clothes, or the tote bag with Bea's wet clothes in it. The two vans, the jeep, and Manong Jay's car were no longer in the parking lot.

“They... left me behind,” Minha said incredulously. 

“Oh? Someone's still here?”

It was the old man from the guardhouse.

“Manong, have they all left?” Bea asked.

“That they did, about ten minutes ago,” he answered. “If you mean that group who were shooting here. Were you with them, Miss?”

“We took a walk down the beach,” she said. “When we came back they were gone.”

“You've been left behind? Tsk tsk,” the old man said. “It's a far walk to town.”

“Don't you have any tricycles here, Manong? Maybe we can hire someone to drive us to town.” The old man shook his head. “Motorcycles, then? Anything we can ride...?”

“Nothing, Miss. At this hour, if there's no one who's booked the resort overnight, me and my two sons are the only ones here. We have a motorcycle, but my other son took it to town, and he won't be back till tomorrow.”

“What did he say?” Minha asked.

“He said we have to walk if we want to get to town,” Bea said.

“Walk?!?” Minha's voice went up an octave, she was sure.

* * *

The road was clay, baked by the sun, cracked, and uneven in places where rainwater had made paths through it and washed out rocks and pebbles. The top layer had turned to a fine white dust that sifted over the trees and grasses on both sides. Bea looked at her cellphone again. It was past four o'clock, and still no signal. The shadows were beginning to lengthen across their path.

“Hurry,” she said to Minha. “We have to reach town while there's still light.”

“My feet hurt! And all this dust-- yuck!”

“It's going to be very dark here once the sun goes down. There are no street lights.” Bea looked back at him. He was standing in the middle of the road, his face scrunched up with annoyance. She went back and grabbed his arm. “Come on! More walking, less talking!”

He refused to budge at first, but then gave in and let her tow him along, albeit grudgingly. And then somehow, gradually, his arm slid gradually from her grasp until she was holding his hand. It was a warm, firm hand. She shot a look back at him, and he scowled back at her.

It must have taken less than thirty minutes to negotiate that one-kilometer stretch, Bea was sure, but it seemed like a very long time before they reached the asphalt road, the one leading to town. She dropped Minha's hand and leaned on one of the wooden posts supporting the Punta Paraiso sign, trying to catch her breath.

Geez. It would have been easier if I hadn't been towing this great big baby. Manang Mia, if I didn't love you, I wouldn't put up with this.

“What now?” he asked. 

“It's three more kilometers to town,” she said. “Three times that distance we just walked,” she clarified. He groaned and clung to the other post.

I want to say that it's all his fault we got left behind. But... it isn't entirely, is it? So I won't. Aaargh, just let us get home safely, that's more important. If only he'd stop complaining! Lord, give me patience. Lots of it. Lots and lots of it.

“Can't we get a ride?” he complained.

“Do you see anyone else on this road other than us?” She waved her hand at the empty road. “Maybe when we get nearer to town we can find someone to take us the rest of the way, but right now most people are going home, not going to town.”

He really did have a very expressive face, she decided. He had the most entertaining facial expressions she'd ever seen on anyone, and that was including all her rascal cousins and uncles.

“Bea,” he complained. “Be kind to me. My feet hurt.”

“Mine do too,” she said implacably. “But I'm not complaining. I will, of course, complain when I get home. But I need to get home first before I complain.”

He curled his lip at her.

“For a moment, you sounded like Mia noona,” he said.

“Well, she is my cousin,” Bea answered.

“Just how are you related?”

“Hm. My grandmother Susing was the sister of her grandfather Tonio. My mother and her father are first cousins. So we are second cousins. Since Manang Mia's aunts and uncles never married, she doesn't have any first cousins. So we are her closest cousins. And if you have enough breath to ask questions, you have enough breath to walk. Let's start walking.”

He grumbled under his breath in Korean, but obligingly followed her along the side of the road.

“This has too little traffic for a highway,” he commented eventually. “In fact, it has... none.”

“It's not the national highway,” Bea said. “This is just the provincial road, it connects several barrios. Villages. The asphalt was laid down before the last election.” She looked at the sky. “The sun will set soon. Oh, I wish someone would come along and let us hitch a ride!”

And just then, a carabao pulling a bamboo sledge laden with fresh grass came trudging slowly out of a narrow lane across the road from them. Bea's eyes lit up.

* * * 

“Ride... on that?” Minha stared at her.

“Yes. He'll take us as far as the crossing to the next barrio. Come on!” Bea sat down on the sledge, her legs dangling over the lower edge. He gingerly sat down next to her, grumbling that Yoonju would kill him for getting grass stains on this outfit. His legs were longer than hers, and he was still able to touch the ground, so she made him pull his legs up and sit Indian-style.

“I thought you said we had to go to town. We didn't go through a town earlier.”

“We took a shortcut through another barrio so we didn't have to go around through the town. But right now it's better to go to the town. We can get a tricycle there and ride the rest of the way back to Manang Mia's house. Unless you'd like to walk the rest of the way...?”

He grimaced.

“I thought not,” she said. “Don't worry about it. I'll get us home, okay?”

The old man driving the sledge turned and looked back at them and asked something, and Bea answered him cheerfully. He clucked to his water buffalo-- it was the first time Minha had seen one of those-- and the sledge began to move again, with a sighing, scraping sound as the two large bamboo poles that formed its main supports moved over the grasses and the soil by the side of the road.

“Isn't this better than walking all that way?” Bea asked, glancing at him and looking amused. “At least our feet can rest now... oh!” The sledge had hit a small rock and the sudden jolt made them grab for the nearest thing they could hold on to -- each other.

Minha sat very still, his arms around her, aware that she had her arms around his waist. The old man called inquiringly back to them, and she quickly let go and straightened, so that Minha had to let go of her as well. She quickly turned to answer, probably reassuring the old man that they were all right.

Minha remained unmoving, processing the new idea that had entered his mind.

No, Minha. It's impossible. You would be sooooo dead. Yes, you would be so dead. Manager Oh, Jae sunbae, and Mia noona would line up to take jabs at your carcass, to say nothing of Agency President Kang back in Korea. You are not falling in love with Bea. She's not even pretty! She's dark, and... and fat, and...

She has pretty eyes. She's not that dark. She's the same color as Mia noona. A sort of warm honey color. And she's not really fat, she's just right. Not too thin and not too chubby. Curvy, in fact. You're just used to all those super-slim idol girls.

Whatever. You just met her yesterday, and she's very irritating.

But she came after me today. And she stayed with me even though I told her to leave. She tried to make me smile. She still isn't complaining even though I've been whining and whining. She... doesn't seem so irritating anymore.

Stop it, boy. You'll be leaving in a week. You can't fall in love with her. It's impossible. Arasseo?

 A soft ringing sound gradually caught his attention as it grew louder and louder. Bea began rummaging in her bag and finally drew out her phone.

“Hello? Manooong!” She began talking rapidly in her own language, interspersed here and there with English words and phrases. “I'm sorry--- yes yes I know--- we're okay!” were the only things Minha understood from her end of the conversation.

“Yesss!” she said when the call ended. “Our troubles are over. That was my brother. Manong Jae and Manang Mia are sending him to find us. He's going to meet us at the next crossing when the sledge drops us there.”

“I didn't know you had a brother,” was all that Minha could think to say.

“The guy who dropped me off this morning, that was my older brother, Manong Betong,” Bea said. “Actually, I have two older brothers-- the oldest, Manong Abet, is working in Dubai.” 

Oh. So that was her brother. Minha felt pleased, but squelched the feeling quickly. What is it to me if he's really her brother?

“Good,” he said anyway. “That he's going to meet us, I mean. Because I'm very tired.”

She smiled, but it was a rather sad and wistful smile.

“So am I,” she answered. “I will be glad to get home.”

He felt a pang of guilt.

“I'm sorry,” he said. She turned and looked at him.

“For what...?”

“For getting us both left behind.”

She snickered.

“What!” he complained. “I'm saying sorry!”

“Fine,” she said. “Thank you for the apology, then.” But she smiled as she said it.

Dusk had fallen by the time they reached the crossing where Betong was waiting for them, leaning against a strange vehicle that looked like an iron playpen with a wheel, attached to a motorcycle. He uncrossed his arms and straightened as they stopped near him. 

Bea ran around to thank the old man profusely. Minha thanked him in English, bowing deeply, and the old man chuckled in amusement. He said something to Bea that had her looking flustered, clucked to his water buffalo, and drove off unhurriedly.

“What did he say?” Minha demanded as they crossed the road to get to Betong.

Bea shook her head and ran ahead to pelt her brother with questions. She introduced Minha when he finally came up; Betong nodded at him impassively, then got on the motorcycle.

“You-- here, at my back,” he said to Minha. “She sits there.” He indicated a plank of wood that had been laid across the center of the iron playpen. Bea climbed over the iron railing and into the cage, and sat on the plank, holding on tightly to the railing with her right hand. She looked inquiringly at Minha, who got on the back of the motorcycle. And they were off.

Brother and sister conversed in loud voices during the ride. Minha stared out at the darkened countryside, lost in his own thoughts.

They finally arrived at Jae sunbae's house, to be met by Jae sunbae and Mia noona, the latter clucking in concern. 

“One band member, safely delivered,” Bea said lightly to Mia noona as she got out of the tricycle.

Mia noona shook her head, but said, “Eat something before you go home, Bebeh. Betong.”

Betong shook his head and said something. Bea shook her head as well, and hopped up on the seat behind her brother.

“You're not staying?” Minha asked.

“My mother has dinner waiting for us,” she said. “So we'll be off. Bye, Manang, Manong.” She smiled faintly at Minha. “Bye.”

Bea and Betong were hardly out of the gate when the rest of Future Colors came running downstairs, having realized Minha was back. Manager Oh and Yoonju noona were hot on their heels.

Manager Oh looked like he was going to have a seizure. Mia noona forestalled him and Jae sunbae took him off to his study. Minha went upstairs with Yoonju noona and the other boys. Yoonju noona was upset over the grass stains, but she thought she might be able to do something about it. She took away the clothes, muttering to herself.

Minha took a quick, warm shower and changed into a clean t-shirt and loose exercise pants. He emerged into the sitting room to find Mia noona and Myungseok coming in with trays.

She made him sit down and put a bowl of hot chicken soup, a plate with a couple of slices of toast, and another plate with two spring rolls in front of him. Myungseok poured him a glass of juice. 

The other boys served themselves from the trays.

“I'm so sorry, Minha-ya,” Mia noona said in Korean. “No one intended to leave you behind. It's just that we didn't all leave at the same time and everyone thought you were in another car. When we all got back here and realized that you and Bea couldn't be found, we were all very worried.”

“Worried? Yeah, like running-around-like-headless-chickens worried,” Junhee clarified, and was bopped on the head by Jungkyu.

“When you didn't get into the van, we thought you didn't want to ride with Manager Oh for the time being,” Jungkyu explained. “You do that at times. And then Yoonju noona mentioned that Bea was with you, and since we knew that Bea was always with Mia noona and Mia noona had transferred to Jae sunbae's car because they were taking the crew to a lodging house in the next town, we assumed that you had hitched a ride with them. And so we waited until Jae sunbae got back, and then we found out they didn't know where you were either.”

“Well, we knew Bebeh wasn't in the van when we left,” Mia noona said. “So I thought she'd been too shy to ride back with you if I wasn't there. I thought she was in the jeepney and maybe you'd gone with her. So I called up one of my aunts, only to find out she hadn't gone with them.”

“Manager Oh was so upset that he wanted to call President Kang immediately,” Junhee added quickly. “Mia noona tried to calm him down by assuring him that Bea was with you, and she would see to it that you got back here safely. But he just got madder. He was saying...”--Mia noona shot him a glare-- “...all sorts of things,” he trailed off, and subsided.

“Anyway, I was wondering what you would like to eat tonight,” Mia noona said. Minha frowned at her and looked at the food in front of him. “That's just a snack!” she added. “I haven't cooked any rice yet, I was trying to find out where you had both gone. Fortunately Betong kept trying to dial Bebeh's phone.”

“If you want, I can bring trays up here so you don't need to go downstairs again. Jae has agreed to keep your manager away for tonight--- time enough to face him in the morning when you feel more up to it, okay?”

“We can all eat up here if that's okay, noona,” Jungkyu answered at once. 

“I wish we had some samgyeopsal,” Sangmin said wistfully.

“I don't have samgyeopsal, but I can maybe have some pork chops grilled, if that's all right with you.”

“Thank you, noona,” Minha said.

When Mia noona had left, locking the door behind her, Minha turned to Junhee.

“What did Manager Oh say?” he demanded. “Why did Mia noona tell you to stop talking?” He looked around at his other bandmates.

Junhee glanced at Jungkyu, who said nothing.

“We weren't actually there,” Sangmin spoke up. “Jae sunbae took Manager Oh off to his study when Manager began ranting. It was just Junhee who happened to be passing the open door of Jae sunbae's study and heard them talking. He didn't know Mia noona was standing right behind him.”

“Well, she wasn't angry at me,” Junhee said defensively. “She was very angry-- at Manager Oh. Jae sunbae too. I could tell, although they didn't raise their voices or anything.”

“What did they say?” Minha repeated impatiently. “Stop talking in circles, just tell me already.”

“Uh--”

“Junhee-ya...” Minha reached out and lightly wrapped an arm around his bandmate's shoulders. “You are going to tell me, right? Right?”

“My sunburn hurts, hyung,” Junhee whined.

“Does it? Then you'll tell me, right?”

“Hyung...”

“Right?”

“When Manager Oh found out you were with Bea he said something about you behaving irresponsibly as usual and running away with the first groupie available. Mia noona took exception to it, since Bea's her cousin. Manager Oh then said something about Bea being no better than she should be, since she went with you.” Junhee squinted up at his hyung, who showed no signs of wanting to release him.

“Was that all he said?” Minha asked, tilting his head.

“Uh, hyung...”

“Tell.”

“Manager Oh said he would have expected you to have better taste than to pick a girl who's no more than a maid, but since it was you, he shouldn't have expected anything.” Junhee yelped as Minha's hand tightened on his sore arm.

“Sorry,” Minha muttered, letting go of him. “Did he say anything else?”

“No. Mia noona interrupted him, and Jae sunbae finally had to hold her back, because she was hopping mad, she felt so insulted.”

“Really, that... that...” Minha turned around and headed for the door angrily. Myungseok had the presence of mind to block his way.

“Get out of my way, Seok-ah. I'm just going to give that disgusting old man what he deserves. Let go of me, Sangmin-ah. I said let go!”

Jungkyu shook his head at Junhee.

“And this is why Mia noona wanted you to keep quiet,” he said. “Now it isn't just Mia noona we need to hold back from murdering Manager Oh.”

“But you didn't stop Minha hyung from making me tell him, hyung,” Junhee complained, clutching his sore arm.

“Now, Minmin-ah,” Jungkyu said, putting an arm around Minha's shoulders. “Let's be reasonable for a moment. Mia noona did say you were to put off any confrontations till tomorrow. Let's just stay here and wait for dinner, okay? Cool?”

“That... that... evil old man!” Minha burst out. “I wish Mia noona had punched him!”

“If she didn't connect, it wasn't from lack of trying, Junhee said,” Jungkyu commented dryly, pulling Minha back to sit on the sofa. “And I did hear Jae sunbae say to her afterward that it was a good thing he was holding her back, or he'd have taken a swipe at Manager Oh himself, and then he'd have to explain everything to President Kang.”

“Seems to me that for a change you're madder at what he said about Bea than what he said about you,” Sangmin commented idly, flopping into one of the corner armchairs. The other three stared at him, then back at Minha.

“Oh?” Jungkyu asked.

“Oh?” Junhee echoed.

“Oh! You like Bea noona, hyung?” Myungseok burst out.

“Shut up!” Minha threw a cushion at the maknae.

“You do like her,” Jungkyu confirmed. “What is this, love at first sight?”

Junhee snickered. Minha threw a cushion at him, too. Then at Jungkyu, since he was grinning from ear to ear. Jungkyu threw the cushion back at him. And so, when Mia noona and Jae sunbae came in with their dinner, they found the band engaged in a serious cushion fight, throwing cushions and pillows at each other and laughing like crazy. The furniture made excellent fortifications.

“And I suppose it's a good thing I chose to use foam rubber cushions instead of stuffed ones, or you would have been cleaning up this room in the middle of the night,” Mia noona said mock-severely as she arranged the food on the coffee table. 

“Sorry, noona,” Minha said. 

“I hope you feel better now,” she commented, looking at him. “It was a great way to let off steam, wasn't it?”

“Stop encouraging our talents in bad behavior, honey,” Jae sunbae interrupted, but his eyes were laughing. 

“It wasn't bad behavior!” She shook her head at her husband. “It was a valid way of acting out. You Koreans are so repressed sometimes.”

“Oh? And you Filipinos aren't?” Jae sunbae retorted. They grinned at each other in that way people did when they shared a private joke.

“Sunbae,” Minha said suddenly. “We can fire our manager if we want to, right?”

“Minmin-ah,” Jungkyu said warningly.

“Hmm. Why are you asking, Minha-ya?” Jae sunbae toyed with a spoon.

“We can, right? Even if he's really hired by the agency, not by us. After all, you fired your agency, when you were only a little older than us.” He put on his best pleading-puppy expression.

“Ah, that. I wouldn't want to go through that again and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, either,” Jae sunbae said. “It was a long, messy process.”

“Yes, but... you do understand, right? What it's like, not being able to move without someone coming down on you? To be pushed around and told to do this and do that and not ask any questions and if you do ask, you're yelled at for being 'difficult' and 'rebellious'?” Minha looked down at his plate. He hadn't intended to cry, but he realized tears were rolling down his cheeks. He swiped hastily at them.

“Is that how it is for you?” Jae sunbae asked. He looked around at the other boys. The other three all looked at Jungkyu, who when he realized it sat up straighter and put down his chopsticks.

“Minha's getting most of the flak,” he admitted. “He likes to ask questions, and he hates it when he isn't consulted. Manager Oh does tend to just come in and tell us 'this is what you will do today so be ready to leave in fifteen minutes'. It doesn't matter if-- for example, it was your mother's birthday or your father's death anniversary and you'd gotten permission to go home a month ago, Manager Oh sets a schedule and he expects all of us to comply with it. He doesn't ask us what we might prefer, or if we might want to be free on a certain day.”

“I remember that, hyung,” Junhee chimed in. “You were going home for your father's death anniversary and even President Kang knew about it. Then it turned out Manager Oh had okayed a two-day photoshoot in Jeju and we were leaving on that same day. You complained, of course, but he pointed out that we couldn't break the schedule anymore because it would cause a lot of inconvenience to all the other people who were going to work with us.”

“He said, 'other people, even if their children had died, even if their wives had disappeared, they still go on working because it's their duty',” Jungkyu recalled. “Minha got in his face for it.”

“Got in his face?” Sangmin asked. “Minha hyung almost derailed the entire photoshoot by arguing with Manager Oh all day and then dragging his feet. Remember, he almost missed the plane. It was in the news, but by then the press just treated it as another example of his troublemaking attitude.”

“Oh. So that was what really happened. I had wondered,” Jae sunbae said thoughtfully. 

“As I remember, I pointed out to him that there were other days free on our schedule,” Minha recalled slowly. That had been a painful week for him, but he had been very angry at the time. Jungkyu was the gentlest member of the group; he smoothed over quarrels and talked people out of their bad moods, and he rarely asked for anything, and so Manager Oh had just walked all over him. “If he had only asked-- no, if he had bothered to remember that it was Jungkyu's dad's death anniversary, because all of us remembered, even President Kang, he could have set our departure for the day after and no one would have been inconvenienced at all.”

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Vocabulary

Carabao - water buffalo
Arasseo? - Korean, "got it?", "understand?"
Samgyeopsal - (sam-gyop-sal) Korean, grilled meat, usually eaten wrapped in lettuce leaves