"Some danced to remember. Some danced to forget." My love, I danced for both.

Days after her revelation Zara avoided any part of school where she might run into Nathaniel. Every whisper landed in the well of her insecurity. She was certain that they were talking about her. The Darlings spilled the tea everywhere they had the chance. She was sure of it. 

And how does she know? The one time she left her guard down she decided to walk past the cafeteria.  Nathaniel stood in the center with his lunch bag, the food in the cafeteria was anything but kosher, and he was surrounded by the Darlings. The were fawning all over him, touching his sweater with cloying sweetness. 

The dream she had was over. Nathanial had turned, and the Darlings claimed him for their own. She might as well admit it now and avoid the pain of real rejection. She went in search for her sister, who was at that moment in the Library studying. 

Liam's emotional rescue in the baseball dugout shifted something in their relationship. It shifted her relationship with her sister as well. It was Liam, not Maria, who found her. It didn't change the fact that it was her sister, not Liam, she searched to find now. She still couldn't face him, and his sympathy. Receiving no sympathy from Maria was far more welcome. 

When she spotted her sister, she found her sitting dead center of the library, alone. The table easily fit ten people, but she took up the surface with all her books and papers. They were spread in every direction. Other than Maria, the Library was virtually empty. There was no point asking her to move to a remote corner. 

Maria's head ping ponged between her notes and the computer. She had a laser focus Zara didn't understand. She could shut out everything around here. It made her sad to think there was a world her sister lived in that she would never know. The mind was a funny place. 

"Maria?"

"Hmm." She barely looked up, barely registered that Zara was standing in front of her. 

'Never mind," she mumbled, taking the chair opposite Maria. She pulled the contents of her lunch out of the bag. It consisted of a scone, hummus and pita chips, and baggie of fresh uncut strawberries. 

She took her time eating each of the strawberries, trying to focus on anything but knots in her stomach. She'd been downing Tums ever since her confession spewing on Nathaniel. The little seeds of the strawberries felt funny on her tongue, and the fruit was more tart than sweet. Concentrate on that.

Sucking on one strawberry, she observed a lull in her sister's typing. This was her opportunity. She would give this Liam thing another chance. Maybe her sister needed someone like that in her life. 

"Maria, why won't you give Liam a chance? It's one dinner, one date. You have to eat, and I'm sure he'll pay?"

This feeling of generosity was towards Liam more than her sister, but maybe it would work in her favor, if her sister would lighten up a bit more. Besides, if she couldn't have a future with Nathanial, that shouldn't stop her sister from having a chance with Liam.

"Zara, you made me lose my train of thought." She pulled one of the heavier books towards her, something related to trigonometry, and opened to a random page, then began flipping frantically until she found what she needed.

She held her finger on the page, "You know, you should really try?" She switched back to reading the book, and typing on the laptop. The conversation was over as far as she was concerned. 

 I should try! Mutinous thoughts occurred to her as the soft clacking of keys thrummed in her head. She clenched her jaw and stared at her unconcerned sister. She was ticked. She had that same feeling of wanting to blurt out a great truth like she did with Nathanial, only with her sister she wanted to hit her with something that would hurt Maria more than her.

She searched for it, but her sister was covered in armor. There was nothing she could say against her. She was this flawless super daughter, sister and friend. She did everything for everyone, and worked hard to earn every grade. There was nothing Zara could say to defeat that. 

Zara knew she was being immature. She needed to change her tactics. She liked to call this the little sister game. "Are you going to the Homecoming dance?" She paused, "Isn't Student Council sponsoring the food booth at the game, and the dance is right after?" 

"Probably not. I wasn't scheduled for the fundraiser." She stopped typing and looked at her, "If you want to go just ask mom or dad to pick you up after the dance. You can stay after school until the game."

"You're not going to the game? It's homecoming and you're a senior. It's like important. You're not going to remember trig."

Maria laughed, and it had an edge to it. "I better remember it. I mean what's the point of learning anything if you're going to forget." She put her hands in front of her and looked serious, "High school is one moment in your life, and it's not the most important. You need to see beyond these walls. Life goes on long after all this."

"Maria, you can be so narrow sometimes. High school is," she snaps, "a blip, but it's still part of your life. What is life if it isn't all these moments strung together?"

"Is this about Liam again? It's a joke. He's not interested in me. He's just messing with you." She went right back to her books, notes and computer, while adding, "He's hardly said one word to me, and we have 2 classes together. Just let it go, okay?"

By okay she meant this conversation was over. Basically, she knows everything, and sees everything. Maria thought she was a child for believing other peoples stories. Why else would she treat her this way?

"Fine, sure. Then you won't mind if I ask him to the dance."

"Wait, what? He doesn't like you!"

"What does that mean?" Did Maria think he couldn't like her? 

"Forget it. Be happy, get married. I don't care. Can I just study?" She didn't wait for a response. This time she put on her headphones. 

"Fine. Whatever." She picked up her lunch and backpack and left the library. 

When she reached the hallway she remembered that she didn't have another place to go. The only option left was the Computer Lab, but they didn't allow food or beverages. Truthfully, she wasn't hungry anymore. 

She walked towards the computer room, and checked her phone. There was only 15 minutes left, just enough time to check her messages. She hoped the lab was empty. The Lab was different than the Library, usually full. 

She stood in the doorway of the computer lan, the room was full, but there was one old computer tucked in the corner available. It was slow, but would work. She wove her way through the rows of chairs until she reached it. She didn't pay attention to anyone else. She was done with people. 

She logged into her email. She had one friend, and an aunt who would email her, but mostly it was filled with store sales, and junk. It was pointless, but she scrolled through the hundreds of new emails. 

"Hey." 

She jumped in her chair. Ahh. She forgot about Liam. She let her guard down, and here he was. She didn't turn to look at him, but in her peripheral she could see that he sat in the chair to her right, recently vacated

"Hey." 

"Are you going to talk to me again, or am I persona non grata?" 

She couldn't look at him. She felt so embarrassed after everything that happened. She couldn't imagine the things Nathaniel said about her, or the Darlings. All the things Liam would hear about her. 

"Yes."

"Yes you are talking to me, or yes I am persona non grata?" He moved his chair closer to hers, which meant he could see the Victoria's Secret ad she opened. She quickly closed out of her email. 

"Both, I don't know. I will talk to you, but maybe I prefer you non grata." She felt dumb. Her legs felt leaden. "Lunch is almost over anyways." 

"The bell rings in 5, and you have 10 minutes to class. You have plenty of time. And isn't your class across the hall? Art lab, right?" 

Yes, it was her favorite class too. She hated that he knew her schedule. This was too much. Man did he have it bad for her sister. She stood up. "Yes, but I can get started early on my sculpture."

He stood up as well. They both reached for her backpack. 

"Let me carry it for you. This way you can't get away, and I can talk to you for a moment. You can listen, if that's not too much trouble." He smirks. 

She didn't know why she let him, but she did. She couldn't help it, she wanted to know what he was going to say. No wonder cats die from curiosity. She would not do well as a cat. 

"Okay, fine, but after this--"

"--After this, if you want, I won't ever bother you again." He waited for her to lead. 

Her cheeks felts hot. She stood in the hallway and looked across the hall. She didn't have a grand sculpture she was working on at the moment. She hadn't even started her project. In one minute more he would discover her lie. 

He was right behind her when she stopped and turned around. "On second thought, let's talk out here. I won't be able to concentrate once I get started on my sculpture." The hallway remained empty. 

"Okay, if you want." He adjusted her backpack on his shoulder. She felt bad he was carrying it now. 

"I know Nathaniel hates me, so I am not sure what you have to say about that, and to be honest my--"

"--Hold up a minute," He moves to the other side of the hall, away from the center. Smart.

She swallows. Waiting is torture. 

"About Nathaniel--"

She groans. She holds her sides together, feeling sick. 

"I talked to him about it. He's not mad at you. He feels bad for how he reacted."

Could this be the bright spot for which she longed? This had to be a joke, a cruel joke, and the Darlings put Liam up to it. Her sister was right. Liam shouldn't be trusted. She was sure that he saw the changing emotions across her face move from hope to despair, and then finally to anger.

"Ha ha ha. I know this is joke. I mean how could it not be one. He doesn't even know me, and I did hit him." She shrugged her shoulders, "He has a right to be pissed." 

He leaned in and got eye level with her. "What goes on in there? Are you sure your neck doesn't hurt from this whiplash of emotions."

She scoffed. How dare he tease her. 

"I'm sorry, but I am telling you the truth. You should talk to him; and you know what?" Now his face had a big, stupid, eager puppy dog kind of smile like he just found a bone in the backyard. 

It was her fault she continued to play this game, "What?"

"He wants to take you to Homecoming.

*From Hotel California, by the Eagles -"Some danced to remember. Some danced to forget."

https://youtu.be/FVsbvFkhzY4