Clairs POV

I've been sitting on my bed starring at this stupid letter for the past hour. I look over at the clock, it's 11:55, I was supposed to be at the park by midnight. It only takes 5 minutes to walk there so if I left now I could still make it.

Did I want to go though? Was it even worth it? Aiden said he had something to tell me but that could be so many things. Most likely it was to tell me something along the lines of how I would never be good enough for him. It wouldn't be the first times he's said that to me.

Flashback

I have been calling and texting Aiden for the past two weeks but he never responds. All I want are some answers. Answers to why he's been ignoring me for two weeks. Answers to why he would have sex with me and then not speak to me. This guy is not the Aiden that I fell in love with and I just want to know what the hell happened.

I'm tired of just sitting here, waiting for answers. I will find out why he ditched me without any explanation. I will do whatever it takes and I'm doing it tonight.

I wait until all of the lights are off next door before I sneak out and make my way over there. I've done this enough to know how to not get caught. I make it to Aidens room unnoticed.

"Aiden wake up." He is a heavy sleeper so I have to shove him a few times to get him to respond.

"Clair?"  He is so freaking sexy when he first wakes up.

"Yeah it's me, get up."

"What the hell are you doing here?" He sits up and the sheets fall to his waist revealing his bare chest. Gosh why did I have to meet and fall in love with a guy that looks like a greek god, it makes it so hard to be mad at him.

"I need answers." I'm tired of waiting so I'm not going to waste any time no matter how much I just want to sit here and stare at his 6 pack.

"About what?" He actually looked confused.

Was he serious? Did it not effect him at all? Were we actually nothing more than a summer fling? I didn't believe that one bit, not after what we did.

"Us." I looked him straight in the eyes. He used to say he could never refuse me when I looked at him because my eyes did crazy things to him but I knew by his next words that was all just a lie.

"Clair, there is no us." His voice was harsh. I could tell he was serious and my heart started to shatter.

"What does that even mean? Aiden there is an us. After everything that we said, everything that we did, there is an us. What happened this summer wasn't just nothing, not to me." I couldn't believe what he had said. Maybe he was just scared of getting hurt, but I hoped that he realized that in the process of protecting himself he was destroying me.

"It meant nothing to me, Clair, you mean nothing to me." I was crying now, I couldn't stop the tears from pouring down my face.

"Aiden don't say that please, just don't." I was doing my best to be quiet so I wouldn't wake anyone else up but with the uncontrollable sobbing it was hard.

"It's the truth Clair you will never be good enough for me so just leave me alone and let me be happy with someone who is like me."

I ran out of his room, I couldn't take any more. I didn't care if anyone heard. All I cared about was how much my heart was breaking.

I thought he had given me his heart but like a thief he took it back. It was not something I was okay with losing.

End of flashback

I remember those words like he said them to me yesterday. That night I went home and just cried. That was by far the worst week of my life. I stopped eating, I rarely went to school and when I did it was like I wasn't even there, I just stopped caring about everything. I never knew it was possible for me to feel so broken. The worst part was that this was all over a guy.

It took weeks for me to be semi okay but even then I was still capable of breaking at any moment. I couldn't look at him without crying and I hated that he did that to me. I didn't hate him though, I hated myself because I was so stupid and naive.

Eventually it was Lucy and Josh who helped me pick up the broken pieces. They taught me how to turn my sadness into hate. Hate for him, not myself.

I used to sit in my room, furious at him for making my every thought about him. Every song that I wrote was always somehow about him. He may not have wanted me in his life but he would always be in mine. I actually hate him for how much he has effected my life.

Aiden has always been a problem for me. I say that I hate him but in all honesty all he has to do is apologize and I would forgive him and go crawling back. It's only happened once but thats just because he's only apologized once. If he were to apologize 100 times I would forgive him 100 times. Thats how addicted I am to the way that only he can make me feel.

I can't do that to my self though.

Not anymore.

I will no longer put myself through the pain of loving Aiden Ellington.

I do not want to be a part of his stupid mind games anymore.

Aidens chance has come and gone and he needs to know that I am not a board game he can just get out when he's bored.

Looking back down at the note in my hand, I rip it up without thinking twice, and throw it in the trash.

My heart aches but I ignore it. I need to do this for myself.

Aiden Ellington does not deserve my love.

Heck he doesn't even deserve my hate.

I have to make the boy that was once everything, become nothing to me.