Clair's POV

Dinner was going great until my dad asked about Dean and Josh got up and walked out of the room. I was extremely confused so I got up and followed him outside to the tree house.

"Josh! What was that about?" I yell as I climb up the ladder.

"Nothing." He yelled back at me. Josh has never actually yelled at me.

"Obviously it wasn't nothing. Why did you get mad and storm out?"

"Clair just leave it alone it doesn't even matter." He starts to walk out to the porch. He has stopped yelling now and I can here the sadness in his voice.

"It doesn't even matter?" I'm actually getting angry now. "Of course it matters! I want to know why you," I point at him, "my best friend is angry enough to yell at me when you've never done that before. Josh please tell me what I did?" My anger is slowly starting to turn into concern.

"Clair you didn't do anything I just don't want to hear about your stupid date with Dean."

"Okay but why?" Seriously why does Josh never like when I talk about guys. He absolutely hated Aiden, just a mention of his name would get him riled up, when I would say a guy was hot he would make some rude remark about them, and now he's doing the same thing with Dean. I feel like he thinks he's the only guy allowed in my life, like I'm not allowed to have a boyfriend. It's like he gets jealous of those other guys. Like I would stop hanging out with him if I was dating them or I would stop being friends with him.

"Because I don't want you to date Dean or use him to get over Aiden or whatever your plans are with him I want you to be with me. Use me not him"

"I'm not using Dean to get over wait what?" Did he just say what I think he said? He wants to be with me? What does that even mean? He wants me to use him? To date him? That would mean he likes me but he can't like me, we have been friends practically our entire lives, he's like a brother to me. He can't like me, there's no way. I would know, there would have been signs... wait... Oh god there were so many signs. How am I so oblivious? I can't believe this, my best friend, who I think of as a brother, likes me.

Well this just got weird.

Josh's POV

I could tell by the look on her face that she was processing everything, I knew the exact moment that it clicked, the moment that she finally realized that I like her. I should have been happy, I finally told the girl that I've wanted to be with most of my life that I like her, but seeing that look on her face makes me regret everything. She's disgusted, she looks like she might actually vomit. I feel the same way. She doesn't like me back, I'm in love with her and she feels nothing towards me.

"You like me?" Like? She thinks I only like her? Sweetheart you have no idea. Maybe I could play this off though. Maybe I could act like I only like her, like its some new crush that happened when she came back this summer. Maybe I could make up some really good lie that would keep me from looking desperate for pinning after a girl for the past 7 years that only thinks of me as a friend. But I can't, I've lied to her throughout our entire friendship and look where it got me. No, I have to tell her the truth.

"Clair," I take a deep breath. Here goes nothing. "I'm in love with you."

She's in shock. You know that thing where people start to say something and then just close their mouth, she's been doing that for the past 5 minutes. At first she looked extremely confused, and then angry, and then confused again, but now she looks sad. She's probably trying to think of ways to let me down easy. I don't need it, I already know that she doesn't feel the same way.

Before tonight there was still this small part of me that thought maybe she felt the same way. I used to think that maybe she didn't say anything because she didn't want to ruin our friendship, or that she was scared of getting her heart broken, or just scared of how I would react. But now there's not an ounce of hope in me that she feels the same way. I should have known all along, it's not like Clair to keep things from anyone. If she sees something she likes she goes for it, unfortunately its one of the things I love about her.

"Why?" This is her response? Over 5 minutes of torturous silence and this is what she says? Why? Really she wants to know why I'm in love with her? As scary as it is this is the easiest question to answer.

I take two steps until I am right in front of her and put both of her hands in mine. From afar this would look like a romantic scene in a movie but if you take a closer look you can see just how messy the situation is.

"You want to know why I'm in love with you?" I look her straight in the eyes. "It's the way you laugh at all of my jokes even when they obviously aren't funny. You can make me laugh on my worst days. It's how competitive you are even when you know you are bad at something and have no chance of winning. It's how determined you are to always prove people wrong, when someone tells you that you can't do something, you do it and you excel at it. It's the way you think, like you are wise beyond your years. You are so ridiculously smart. It's your heart, you have the capability of making anyone feel loved. You are the kindest person I know. You always support me no matter what. You're honesty with everything is astounding, you don't care how it will make you look if you feel a certain way about something you say it. You never hold back, everything that you do, you do it 110% and you never give up. Its the way you get me like no one else does, the way we can literally talk for hours about nothing. The way you love to go on new adventures and try new things. I love that most of the things on your bucket list are completely insane but I love you even more for actually being brave enough to do them. You have always inspired me to be the best version of myself.  It's everything that makes you, you Clair." For a split second the look we are sharing is so intense I think she might change her mind.

She looks me right in the eyes again, pulls her hands from mine, turns away from me and climbs down the tree house. I'm so shocked by her response that it takes me a few minutes to go after her.

"Clair! I'm sorry for holding all this in for so long I was just scared and I didn't know how to say what I needed to say." I realize that I'm crying now. She has stopped but she still has her back to me and she's not saying anything. "Please just say that there is some possibility that you could feel the same way one day."

"Josh I... I can't do this right now."

She runs back inside and this time I don't follow her.

Authors note: Things are finally starting to settle down in my life. I'm almost completely moved and I'm okay so my plan is to start back writing and making videos. I am going to try to publish a chapter every Sunday.