i've been creating online diaries ways to cope online since i first used the internet. seven years old, i created a youtube channel. i complained about how i hated myself and also made little cutesy skits. i have a self-hatred problem. what are you been told your whole life that there is something wrong with you and that you need to mask your personality, it can really fuck you up. i might not be around anymore in a while, so you can interact with me more frequently on here. i'm still thinking about it. what to talk about? i don't know. i know i'm not smart, because i never get called that, but i know things. too much, sometimes. all i want is for people to tell me that they are sorry; genuinely sorry. for all the shit they put me through, which they know exactly what they did (even know they say they don't). i don't want to hear your shit unless you put an effort. this goes out to everyone who has done me wrong. to the fake friend who doesn't acknowledge me in the groups we're in, to the person who bruised me with their belts. it doesn't matter if we're on good terms now, you never apologized. just know that i keep track of the people who get my wealth (both literally and figuratively). and we all know people want the money i work for and the love i put into the crafts i make. just to shatter them all over again. people never change. why do you think i'm still stupid? and small. and worthless. and never, ever, enough.