Dear Diary,

It's been a long while since my last log but it isn't with the intention of purposefully making sure I don't write my feelings. Or the lack of the better part of writing down my thoughts.

I thinks it is to do with how much I have started to really sit with these thoughts I've been having, these past couple of weeks after Jerry blackcrow shot at me.

He was found guilty of murdering Emily Goddard for uncovering his operation at firehawk ranch which is now foreclosed and the kids were sent back to their families, I can't get it out of my head how lieutenant Pierce put his life on the line for me. He could've died saving me. I don't know why I feel so much guilt.

Actually I do know why I've had this gnawing sensation of guilt. I could have acted faster, than I should've, moving us to a safe spot out of Jerry's range but I would have risked my secret.

Speaking of guilt. Lucifer has refused to leave my side ever since he saw me at Firehawk ranch and it's starting to feel suffocating.

One part of me is convinced this will be all over with, that he will eventually see i can protect myself.

But the second half of me hopes he won't leave me alone. Like he had in the past. He left me.

There was an incident, which had occurred, where lucifer ended up meeting and 'Marrying' a nice woman by the name of Candy. I wanted to find excuses to make it easier to not like her but we actually ended up having a nice time together. She is an incredible person and quite insightful too. I still have her contact in my list of numbers on my phone. It's strange, I know.

Today I hope things don't end up changing for the worse. Because I don't know how long more I can withstand to have my heart burned and be blind sided by what is happening in my life.

~•~

'Just when you think you've seen it all. A guy in a boiling silo of pudding of all things.'

I lean down, hands on my calves to support my upper body, to get a better look into the large drained vat which once was boiling pudding. My uncle Dan is quite the fan of the dessert but I am put off of it for life seeing this.

" Oy Vey. Someone forgot to exfoliate this morning. Geez. Take a look at this, Liz! It is Gnarly."

I hear Ella comment, she had on a head light protective helmet and goggles to better see in the cylinder, pointing at the third degree burns on the right side of his face.

" Victims name is Simon fisher, forty two. Senior food chemist for performance pudding plus."

" And apparently a very clumsy one." Lucifer said in reply to uncle dan's statement, which I fail and forget to reply to with my automatic response to all of his little snide side messages. I spaced out, not really sure how to reply, but still somehow in the midst of it I could still listen to Ella and uncle Dan. " Ellie? Are you okay, there, darling? You've been spacing out quite a lot as of late. Usually it's you who has something to say 'bout my little quip and snide words but you haven't done that, yet."

" Wha.. oh. No. I'm fine, I just didn't get enough sleep last night. That is all." I dismiss his stare of curiosity, resting a hand on the cold metal pipe in front of me that had yellow rails. " From where i stand, this was not an ordinary accident. There is nothing about this that screams it is one." I point out the prominent sign of scuff marks. " those are scuff marks which indicate there was a struggle." I wanted to go down in the vat, as well, but Ella is working on picking a sample of burnt skin.

" Ella is still working on the cause of death. But I mean I can see... what killed him.."

" Well, he obviously drowned in this vat of semen."

' Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't give him that satisfaction of seeing I found that funny.' I think, biting at my lip to stop my chuckle, and sighed as I shook my head. " It's pudding. Something I am completely grossed out by, now." I grimaced, as I notice uncle Dan's mind be completely changed and ruined, by the body in the vat of pudding. " I am never having pudding ever again. Never."

" Sure. I've heard it called that, too." Lucifer giggled, with a smirk immediately afterwards.

" I am kidding, darling. I'm kidding."

" Poor dude didn't drown, and aside from his Freddy Krueger makeover, no other wounds, so, my money is on death by scalding. Can't be sure, though, until we get him cleaned up and autopsied."

Ella explained, swiping a fresh sheet of specialise paper which is used to clean and remove liquids off of victims bodies without tampering anything important on the vic's body which can help us in if identifying the injury sustained, I cannot help but want to hurl at the smell. You'd think I'd be more use to it. I guess one thing didn't change. I glance back at my uncle, he's still gazing sadly in the vat. " It seems our resident pudding fan is all but distraught at the sight of a boiled man being added into the new menu item. How do you feel, detective douche?"

" Don't even joke, man. Pudding plus is my favourite, okay? Twice as much protein as all the other Brands."

" Now with twice as much dead guy."

' God, if you are listening and I know you are, I want you to give me the strength to not strangle your son. Because I will.'

For a pudding factory there is a high level, scale, of security. I noticed there to be quite the number of guards and cameras. I wonder the reason for it and why they need this much to protect pudding. Lalo, an onsite guard for the companies factory, is a complete mess over the incident. He offered a helping hand and is being cooperative with us.

" I feel terrible. If only i hadn't been in the bathroom so long, maybe I would've heard something." Lalo said, to Lucifer and I, with the guilt weighing him down that he couldn't do much to help capture the one responsible for the murder of Simon fisher. " Maybe I could've prevented this." He sounded deflated, his eyes a tad downcast at the thought of saving Simon.

" Quite a lot of security, just for pudding."

Lucifer made a point to zero out the half dozen of camera and security measures in place for the factory. It is kind of hard to imagine this extent of security, for a pudding company, to invest in. My eyes flicker around scoping the place out.

" It's a big business, thanks to the secret recipe that Simon created. Can't just let anyone peek behind the curtain." That explains why the entirety of the security is high-end. Can't have the recipe get out and risk exposure of the puddings popular secret ingredient.

" With all due respect, Sir. We need to have full access to the footage. So, can you please show us that footage to see what happened or it can give us a clue of what went down?"

" That's above my pay grade, Ma'am. You'd have to talk to the big man upstairs."

" God?"

Lucifer, confusion clear on his face, said.

" Uh, no, the company's owner."

" Oh, Right."

~•~

The CEO, and owner of pudding plus, Adrian Yates decided to come in for a discussing about the incident that happened in his factory. It's to, also, save his own behind and take full control of the companies image if this was to be publicised as it would ruin his reputation. A dead man ends up in one of his pudding companies factory. Not a good omen for him.

I find lucifer and uncle dan discussion how my uncle couldn't look pudding in the same light, since the body of Simon fisher was found in the same pasture as the pudding it self is made in. I doubt uncle dan will make the choice permanent. He's loved pudding since I've been alive. " Lucifer there you are. Mr Yates, the CEO of the company, has kindly brought us the tapes. He's waiting in the conference room for us. Aunt Chloe is, also, in the room as she will be helping with this one." I don't stop walking, making Lucifer follow at my side in the same pace I did, listening in on my aunt Chloe giving her extended apologies to Mr Yates for bringing him in the station.

" who said solving a murder wasn't easy? He is bringing the answer to us and by the end of it all we'll be out of this case in no time! You watch!"

States lucifer with enthusiasm to match his smile. I don't think it will be that easy. Nothing ever is. I made myself known, clearing my throat, trying to indicate I'm in the space and it works as my aunt Chloe offered a smile. " Sorry to have kept you in suspense, Mr. Yates. I just want to start off with I am thankful you took time to come here and give us the footage. It will be incredibly helpful. Can I ask if you could give us the tapes, now?" I asked, looking for the footage in the space around me, I try to hide my apparent confusion from not being able to see them.

" Where are they?"

" I'm sorry, but no. I didn't bring the tapes."

Mr Yates, his business persona a sharp contrast to a typical business man you'd see in every day L.A, expressed. " What do you mean.. no?"

I ask, wanting him to explain his reason withholding a key piece of evidence that could help, and then it hits me. The presence behind me. I slowly turned and could have sworn my eyes are deceiving me. It's Charlotte Richard's.

" No way..."

" Because I told him not to. I'm Mr. Yates attorney and the L.A.P.D isn't laying a finger on those tapes."

Charlotte proclaims, individually assessing the situation of being before lucifer and I with a familiarity she isn't quite sure to have understood herself, lingering her eyes longer on me than the one who is beside me.

' I can't believe she is back in my life.'

I watch her, even if I am aware she's no longer the goddess I can't help but feel tense knowing I witness the goddess of creation leave her body to go into a pocket universe created for herself by a single swipe of Azreals blade, stunned without an instant to think of how I must look to my aunt. I fix my posture. " C..Charlotte. Hi. Long time no.. see. We didn't expect to see you back here, again, so soon." I looked to my aunt, who gets the signal to leave, and she nodded.

" I will be out here, in the case you need me, and you can come to me if you're in need of help. You got this, Ellie." Aunt Chloe, hand on top of my tricep, whispered and left a small kiss on side of my head. She went out of the conference space, I reluctantly slide in the chair Lucifer pulled under neath the wide table, and I frown lightly.

" Not to deplore you but I think my concern about your health, and the fact you had a brush with death, is valid here. Are you certain you are fit to still be... doing this? Right now?"

" Detective decker is right. You had quite a brush with death itself, yet you sit there like it's another day of your life as if you weren't resurrected. Why are you here? You are Charlotte Richard's, right? No one else?"

Lucifer questioned, caution in how he worded his reprise of reason to ask her if she's still the goddess even if we both witness her leave Charlotte's body, moving more towards myself as I couldn't help myself but to lean on the table to get a better look at her.

It doesn't make sense, to me, how Charlotte and the goddess are two more completely seperate people in how they act.

" Apparently, someone was trying to speak to my client without counsel. I am here to inform you that a stunt like that won't stand, nor will your request for any security footage."

" It's nothing of the sorts. We simply wish to ask Mr. Yates, your client, for the tapes. But I can't help see this as a means of covering up things that either Mr. Yates, himself, wants to hide or.." I claimed, not understanding his lack of compliance with the department, and I cocked an eyebrow. " Do you mind explaining that? To me?"

" Yes, an ulterior motive for being here, perhaps." Lucifer added, directing his claim to Charlotte.

" I find it strange how you have come back into, not only, my life but in Ellie.. detective decker's life as well. With everything that is happening. This is about me? Isn't it? About us?"

" If this was a social visit, you would most certainly know." My face dropped, and my jaw is on the floor, which i quickly straightened. That is a flirtatious tone. 'Oh gosh. This is embarrassing.' I peaked at lucifer and he too noticed how much it sounded like she is Flirting with him. Oh this is getting way more interesting. I giggled, silently. He still thinks the goddess is inhabiting Charlotte but I can clearly differentiate between them. That she came back. " And what we're hiding is pudding plus proprietary recipe. Releasing those tapes would reveal how their pudding is made, committing their secret formula to public record, which could cost the company millions."

" Besides, The killers not only any of the footage, anyway." Adrian, half-assed, stated with a simple shrug. He'd been silent the entire interview but I suspect he's the type of person to let everyone else talk for him instead of dealing with his own problems the company faces.

" Mr. Yates, it's best if I do the talking." Charlotte advises him.

" But all you can see is that there's some sort of scuffle out of the frame. The killer is not visible from any of the angles." Adrian clarified, which I could see Charlotte pointedly staring daggers at him for exposing the information given, with a move of his hands to express his confusion. That is a clue we need.

" So, you see, that is a clue that we needed. That means the killer was aware and knew where the blind spots were in the factory. He knew to avoid the cameras." I state, using my knowledge of past examinations and cases I've been on with both of my uncle and aunt. " This could be a tell-tale sign of an inside job. Who else has access to the lab? I assume, with your status Mr. Yates, you are way on top of that list.."

" Alright, Detective, you can stop right there. Mr Yates, not a word. We're done here." Well I tried.

I stand up, at the same moment as Charlotte and Mr Yates, but even then I knew it wouldn't be all over as Lucifer made his point to still give out his grievances against charlotte. Or who he think is still The Goddess. " I'm not done with you yet."

I put a hand on lucifer's wrist, to keep him from a certain law suit if he continued to talking like he is, and momentarily it seemed as if he was going to listen and behave. I am wrong.

" Which part of my briefcase closing do you not understand?"

" Just leave it, Luc." I murmured. I didn't need for this to be made any bigger and especially in a station full of police. " Please."

' As if my life cannot get any weirder.'

JASMINE SPEAKS;

How did we like this chapter? Ellie and lucifer?

Her diary entries?

I am seem to have been struck with this sudden urge to update and I am waiting to see how long this will last before it goes again. I can thank those edits I've seen all on TikTok and music for helping me regain back the lost inspiration.

I've got a question for you guys that I have been meaning, and wanting, to ask. I've decided I will be writing into the fifth season, as stated before, and will be skipping the sixth/final one because I feel like what I have planned won't work with the plot/storyline they chose.

So my question is.. Will you like me to make it where I write my own and incorporate those ideas, I have, for this book?

As like seeing the kids all grown up? And a time skip? Because I have a surprise for both seasons four & Five.