Imposter syndrome is the significance of being caught between two perspectives in life. There is a certain feeling, having an inadequacy, the tendency to feel believe you are someone who's secretly a bad person. Even though you're not.

Coming to terms with the reality I'm related to Malcolm Graham, his daughter, of all people. I didn't confront Mom on the subject. I doubted she knew herself. Or if she did she's keeping it a secret to protect me and my mental health.

Either way I couldn't decide if I cared. Conflict heavy on my conscience. Here I am now at the hospital, during visitation hours, knowing this is the same place Malcolm is. life support connected to his medically induced comatose body laid in one of these patient wards. I knew this was moronically stupid. I just needed an excuse to have some kind of closure on who he is. But i was fighting mentally on my choice.

It gets more real, than I'd expected, when I laid eyes on Malcolm's machine tethered-self. How ever I wasn't alone.

" Oh. Hello, honey."

Came a voice from my right side, an older woman of her late thirties came walking in holding a cup of hospital brewed Coffee. She had brown lock salon styled hair and glacier blue eyes.

" You're one of the new assisting nurses here? I take?"

I chuckled uncertainly. How do I respond? ' oh I'm here to see my brain-dead murderous dad, I've never met.' I ignored the thought.

" I am.. I am actually here to see.. well."

I Indolently say, sliding off my hand bag on a grey couch.

" you.. you are a visitor of my husband? I don't think we've met. And I know everyone who's family, a friend, in our lives."

She states, staring with an inquisitive head tilt.

" Who are you? Not trying to be rude." The moment of truth. Breathing in, and taking the risk, I say. " I'm Malcolm's kid."

She laughs, only to stop, when she sees I'm not joining. My palms start sweating and I dried them on top of my jeans.

" Sorry to laugh. It's just.. you are saying you're my husband's child. But We have a son, not a daughter. I'd know if I did."

That's a reasonable reaction to a girl saying.

' I am this man's alleged random long lost daughter' My mind goes to the word 'Son'.

I have a brother, I lost years of not knowing.

Foraging my purse I pulled out a folded laminated copy of my birth certificate which I passed to her.

" I manage to get an extra copy of my birth.. birth certificate Incase I needed to show someone. It's right there. I'm Catrina's, his ex-wife, child."

Her facial features became crestfallen.

" Oh..oh my god. You.. you are. Oh, Malcom. You have.. you have his eyes." She suddenly hugs me and startled, considering I just told her I'm the kid of her husband's past divorce, I held her elbow in an attempt to comfort her. I listen to beeps of the monitors.

" Where have... where have you been all of these years? Honey. Malcolm will be glad to see you are back home. Where you belong. I need to introduce you to your brother. He'll love you. How silly of me! I am your step mom, Melissa. You can call me... me Mel."

Overstimulated, with how much she is talking though it's welcoming, I take one step away creating a distance boundary. For myself.

Does she not know he's a corrupted killer? Speaking highly of him as if he hasn't caused damage to families.

" Sorry, right. Right. That was way too soon. I am.. I am having all of these emotions. I didn't take in the fact you were hugged by a complete stranger." She scolded her actions. I waved it off.

" Don't be. It's fine. I liked it. That hug, I meant. It was nice." I told her, timidly. Now it was out in the open the weight, and feeling, of it on my shoulders didn't subside. If anything I had a sense of impending predestination.

I was in trouble. That triggered a cold shiver.

' I hope this wasn't a mistake I made. Telling her who I am.'

~•~

The morning hours leading to midday I spent conversing with Mel, about my life and the life she made married to Malcolm, turned to be a rather strange but nice time. She invited me to have dinner at her place but I had declined, as I was called by Lucifer informing me of a lead. Now I sat in the passenger side, of his car, and on surveillance to a biker-gang leader. Waiting for him to move.

" So. Let me understand this."

He hummed, staring straight ahead.

" This case, well robbery, you and mom worked on. It was a container you... owned? What is inside of this specific one? You haven't mentioned." I state, keeping a low registry in my voice.

" well if I told I fear you wouldn't believe what I have to say, Darling." He replied, matching my way of speaking. It was more mocking.

'I swear. He can't be serious for one minute.'

I huffed.

" It's strange to think humans enjoy this. Sitting and waiting around on something to just happen."

'He's not being honest with me. That's a first.'

I moved facing Lucifer, to now I am fully in his sight.

" You're avoiding my question. Lucifer. I just want there to be honesty here. I can't help if there isn't any. I'm heading into this with no warning. I want to know what I'm dealing with and be informed." I told him upfront, truthful. My eyes dart on the place he touches my leg, it rather close to my femur thigh bone. The spark I felt on our date night coming back. " So I ask. Again. What is inside of the container?" I could see cogs turning in his head and just when he's about to tell me I hear roars of a bike engine.

" looks like we have more company."

I state the obvious, indistinct chatter and arguing started. Seconds after a gun is pulled, witnessing in an instant how the leader's shot point blank. " Oh my lord! I need to call this in." Taking out my phone, in a rush, I dialled nine one one.

" Hello this is nine one one. What is your emergency?" I cut the operator off spewing out the needed details.

" Yes, hi! There were shots fired. I am need of assistance. I'm at twenty first and lewis and need an ambo along with back up! I'm on site."

I told her the number identification and name needed to confirm my report.

" Copy. I'll send back up immediately. They are En-route. Please refrain from being close to the suspect, Ma'am. Stay away." She warned, I kept on the phone drawing out the gun from my waist band Incase there is more trouble on the way.

" I need you to keep talking on the..."

I didn't hear her, the start of a car igniting and I watched Lucifer drive off.

'What in the world..'

he just drove away. I'm stranded here. ' Son of a bitch. Mind my profanity.'

I jogged to where the man laid, kicking up dust from the dirt. My eyes searched for way to stop his bleeding.

" Hey, Hank. You don't know me, and this is gonna sound real weird but I think we are past that stage. But I need to this." I tear off a piece of his shirt, ripping it to shreds, using it as a temp tourniquet. He groaned. " Help is on the way."

I told him, blue and red sirens flooding the crisp air of the abandoned distillery.

After I had made certain he would be in safe-keeping, I set out to find Lucifer. This would be considered the stupidest idea, I had, if I did learn from the past. He could be miles ahead in a different side of the city. Somehow there's an invisible feeling, I knew where to find him, I can't quite comprehend. It's like I knew where he is no matter the miles and distance.

Paying the taxi charge fee, for my trip, I got out and I am left standing in front of a warehouse.

I ran past a motorcycle and Lucifers parked corvette to inside of the work-shop factory, I assumed it to be, stopping once I'm inside. No matter how scared I felt hearing creaks and the occasional rigid rusted metal of old machines. I needed to find Lucifer.

" L..Lucifer. I know y.. you are here." I called for him. 'Thats him. His voice.' I heard him taunting the shooter, how'd he not learn from his previous encounter. That is beyond me.

" Lucifer!"

My voice carried in an echo. I follow the sensation I had deeper, further, to a yellow emergency ladder to an exit on the roof-top. I scoured up those corroded bars grunting at its height. I wasn't fond of heights. 'Lucifer. When I get to you, you are so going to get a scolding of a life time.' I shouldn't joke but it's how I do deal with tense things like these.

I manage to find an open exit door to a roof ledge. A smile of relief switches to one of concern, seeing how frightened the shooter appeared cowering on a pile of debris. Lucifer's menacingly creeping his way to him, he hasn't yet to acknowledge me.

" Who stole them?" He enunciated how he phrases the words he says.

" They were yours."

Renny said, fearful of his life. He made eye contact, basically pleading to help him.

" Who stole them." Lucifer repeated.

" I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." Renny whimpers.

" Lucifer." I hesitate to say, mindful of the step I take, to not make the slightest error. Lucifer is real angry. " Go, Betty. You don't need to see me like this." He snarled. I wanted anything but to follow the warning bells ringing and run from Him. I take the risk, pushing forward.

He had his eyes locked in on his target.

" You will be more than just sorry. Unless you tell me everything you know about my container."

He exclaims, each of his words a dark promise of punishment if he wasn't informed of his property whereabouts. Renny's breathing picked up in speed and his sudden soul-shuddering scream made me flinch.

He scurried to his feet, and I went to try to catch him as he fell to his death on the ledge. I'm stopped when Lucifer leapt in a moment of time and he caught me as my foot is metres from falling.

" You didn't listen." Are his first words he said, to me, steadying where I stand.

" Yeah. Well.. well you stranded me in a creepy abandoned place. So we are even." I shot back, feeling the open breeze whisking my hair. " I'm puzzled you knew where to find me. How.." he asked, in an almost whisper. I shrugged one of my shoulders.

" I just knew. Intuition." I don't realize just how much limited proximity I and Lucifer shared. His lips darted to my lips then each of my eyes. Flickers of moonlight beamed in his irises. 'He's.. he's beautiful. Haunting.'

I had to take a step back. In response to it Lucifer sighed, disappointed I moved away.

" I have a feeling there will be back up close by."

I state, changing the tone and vibe of whatever had happened. 'Was he about to kiss...No. No.' there is not a chance Lucifer Morningstar will even think of kissing me.

" Let's get away from the ledge. I'm afraid of heights and this is Not all helping."

~•~

Lucifer had the container retrieved, back in his possession. Russian Dolls. All of that trouble for five collector imported dolls. I was at home, finished writing an entry in my journal, going out to the living room.

" We're having tacos!"

I listened in on Ana celebrating the fact it's taco Tuesday. Aunt Chloe is browning beef mince.

I am joined by Aidan, as he naturally fell in line to follow and walk with me. Pausing his book-reading. " that we are, honey. Be careful, that's hot." Mom warned, lifting Ana out of the way of a burning hot stove. " don't want you to hurt your fingers. That'll be a big Ow. Ow. We don't want that to happen."

She must've tried helping aunt Chloe but was told off.

" I'll be ok! I'm a big girl. I help mommy all the time!" My lips curled in a little grin. I guess I kept the day of taco Tuesday alive even for my children. My ears perked, to a knock coming from the door.

" Want to grab that?"

Mom asks Trixie, whose eyes flick and focus on me before she answered the door having left her mixing salsa station. I helped Ana pour a cup of orange juice. Aidan's leaning his weight on the kitchen sink top. Dad enters the house, baring a store-bought slice of cake.

" Hey, Dad." I said, same time as Trixie.

I received a bashful smile from him.

" Hey, Hon. hey monkey. This is for after dinner, okay? I'll guess you will be sharing it with Ana. Like last time." I didn't need to look at Anastasia to see her face know how excited she was at eating a piece of chocolate cake. " I thought you had an important work thing." My mom stated, sounding suspicious.

" Well. That isn't more important as having tacos with you, Trixie, Ellie and the kids." Uncle Dan replied.

I liked this view of dad being civil with Mom.

He moved his head, slightly, to my face. I left a kiss on his cheek. " Yeah. Of...Of course. We're just making the salsa and meat."

Mom smiled at the sight. I helped Ana take her chair at the dining-room table.

Aidan, finished dicing some Ingredients needed for the tacos, served up the side dishes placing them in the middle.

" I can feel my stomach turning inside out I am that bloody hungry. Gosh. "

He commented and In reply I swat at his hand when he tried to take a piece of an enchilada I made.

" You'll wait, like everyone else." I chuckled.

" Let your sister eat first. From our time we've know each other, I've seen just how big of an appetite you have. It'll be all gone."

He faked a salute, like I was a guard and he was a solider. I shook my head. 'He's such a goof.'

Anastasia, humming a randomised tune she concocted in her mind, cheered when Mom brought over a tray of oven-baked taco shells.

" Dinner time!"

'I'm starving.'

~•~

Lucifer POV

" I'm glad to see you came back." Linda stated. I surprised even myself coming all the way here, again. Here I sat back on the couch we've had our fun on. hands balled together.

" Well. I needed to get my parking validated."

I said, all while trying to get the picture of Ellie out of my all too pleasurable imagination.

" Your items. I assume they were never recovered?"

Linda ask me and I am brought to the daunting time I'd like to forget. My wings were stolen. Taken. I'd usually wouldn't care about it, but these idiots dared to think they could steal from me. " No."

" Earlier, you said the items weren't that important. Yet now, you seem very upset they are now gone." I sighed. It's not though I had a simple pair of shoes ripped from me. These are things that you can't replace. Much as this was striking as less important. " I'm a walking and talking paradox. What can I say?" I replied in all sarcasm.

Linda hummed. " it takes losing an important thing, in your life, to truely see the value of it."

I scoffed. I haven't once lost anything. Yeah, I had my likelihood wrongly snatched from me. I would find those other hellions who did. " I didn't lose a thing." Linda, her body language shifting, forms her lips in a pulled line.

" No. you were a victim of a crime. It's only natural you'd feel a sense of being violated. And often, our feelings of loss connect to how we feel..."

I had a feeling Linda is trying her best to make me see a point in one of her little psychotropic moments, where she thinks I'll have a chance at understanding her mind tricks. " about who we are." Right. Here we go. " Right. You want to talk about my identity." I snide, derisively I snorted.

" Ellie was close to seeing who I am. I warned her, you know. It was real close."

She should have listened to me in the first place. It interested Linda when I mentioned 'Ellie.'

" You seemed hesitant, when you told me, just this second. I want to touch on that. Why? Can you elaborate why you are feeling hesitance?"

I shifted my focus on Linda's analogue clock. I could hear the sensitive ticks and tock's those thin lines made, closing my eyes.

" There was.. a Moment. We had. If you can call it that. On the factory's roof-top. Ellie... she found me. In a surprise twist of wonderment. I was amazed, 'cause I don't know how she.." I dreaded that I did already. That would mean I'd acknowledge just exactly what we shared. It wasn't fair on her.

I hadn't understood it myself.

" Ellie is a sweet girl, Lucifer. I can say, as her friend. From a non-professional standing point, I'm allowed to tell you. She never judges people. And it kills me it's not reciprocated. In those days, that have lead to years, i have seen her I can safely say she won't judge you. Whatever it may seem, you think happened, she's not like that."

Linda spoke, fervid and passionate. She put aside her usual quick-fire attitude.

" patient-doctor confidentiality usually stops me from saying what I am 'bout to. But, again, this is me off the books."

Linda's voice moves to a decibel below a whisper. I counted my luck I'd been blessed to have marvellous hearing.

" She is strong. So strong. There are.. there are some kids in her school that are right Assholes. Ever since they learned a secret, about her, they've used it to fuel their agenda of bullying. She has told me in confidence. I fear that.. one day it's going to be pushed, too far. It'll break her, Lucifer. All progress will be lost." Linda, in most of the times I've had my visits, solemnly spoke. " I don't know how else I can help her."

I had new insight on Betty and i wasn't thrilled on the news. 'Those little Cretins will pay.' I don't want to do anything without her being in trouble with her school. 'The bastards.' Hands unclenching, I calmly smirk.

" Now back on to you." Linda coughs. " We still have much to speak on."

JASMINE SPEAKS;

How did we like Ellie and Lucifer's little ledge Moment? Kinda liked writing that scene, too. I think that was a great time to really set in how Ellie is feeling and he's question to how she it is she found him as well.

What do you think of her ability to find Lucifer?

I'm making my own spin on soulmates in my story.

Ana and Aidan, my sweethearts. I love them both so much. I'll be writing in Amelia come the second season. I can't wait for her.

Then as you already do know Rory will make her debut in season six. Which I'm also pretty excited for.