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Chapter 50: Feelings of Safety

Monday morning I waited for Alexy and Armin at the corner of their street with my hands encased in thin white mittens, a cute white hat, and a new warm winter jacket. The temperature suddenly plummeted on Sunday and the weathermen were predicting snow in the next few days. I was extremely excited since I hadn't ever seen snow.

"Good morning, Opal!" Alexy and Armin jogged up to me. Alexy was wearing a bright orange jacket and a green hat that looked like a frog while Armin had a grey winter coat and a thick black scarf that covered his neck up to his nose.

"Do you not like the cold, Armin?" I asked, trying to hold back my laughter and he gave me a smoldering look.

"Less talking and more walking," he mumbled through the scarf, and both Alexy and I laughed as we followed him toward school. 

As we walked through the front doors I blinked in surprise as I took in the hundreds of posters depicting Dajan going up for a dunk and proclaiming the Basketball Winter Tournament happening in a week.

"That looks cool. Did you know about that, Opal?" Alexy asked, going up to a poster to read some of the details listed.

"No, Dajan didn't mention it," I said, smiling at the picture of Dajan

"Everyone must have been too focused on the talent show," Alexy observed and I nodded.

Walking into Government I could feel nervousness broil through me as I wondered how Lysander would react. During the weekend I had thought over and over about how Lysander had asked me to explain why I was crying to him. Every time I thought of his determined eyes I felt a stab of guilt, but I couldn't think of any other way to handle his curiosity other than to hide. He had said he would forget what happened but...

"Good morning, Kate." I jumped in shock and turned around to see Lysander standing behind me. 

Slowly a ghostly smile parted his lips as he looked down at me and then walked past me to take his usual seat behind Nathaniel's desk. He gave me a questioning look as I stood rooted to the spot. Blinking I moved mechanically to my seat and sat down, placing my books on the desk and smiling hesitantly at Lysander.

"How was your weekend, Lysander?" I asked awkwardly and again he gave me his half-smile.

"It was good. I never told you how much I enjoyed your talent. It was truly an exquisite performance," Lysander said calmly, but I could feel the sincerity in his eyes and my nervousness began to fade.

Lysander did say he would forget what had happened... but can anyone really act so natural after something like that? I thought to myself in confusion and cleared my throat to give myself some time to respond.

"Thank you. Your band was much more impactful, but I had fun," I said cautiously and he shook his head.

"You shouldn't compare your act to ours; they were quite different after all."

I nodded and tilted my head slightly. "Is... is this really okay?" I whispered, glancing around the room to make sure no one was listening in. Lysander blinked slowly and raised one eyebrow up at me in a silent question. "I mean... this isn't painful for you?" I asked, feeling myself flush out of misery as I looked between the floor and him awkwardly.

Lysander's eyes widened and then slowly his expression became thoughtful. To my surprise, after a few seconds, he reached out and gently patted my head. I blinked over at him in surprise as his hand retracted and he smiled with such open affection that I felt my heart twist in my chest from guilt.

"It would be much more painful for you to ignore me, Kate. Please do not hold back and treat me as you always have," Lysander said firmly.

His kindness brought tears to my eyes and I could only mutely nod my acknowledgment as I held a hand to my mouth and tried to keep myself from crying.

"Hey. What's wrong with you?"

I immediately clapped my hands against my face, blinking rapidly to try and push my tears back down at the sound of Castiel's gruff voice. Once I had myself under control, I parted my middle and pointer finger so I could see out of the small space and saw Castiel and Lysander both giving me looks filled with concern.

"Nothing," I mumbled, still trying to clear the lump from my throat.

Lysander looked sad for a moment, but then his usual serene expression overtook his face and he looked up at Castiel.

"We were just having an emotionally stimulating conversation, Castiel. Kate will be well in a moment."

Castiel frowned as he looked between Lysander and me, but I gave Lysander a grateful smile as I lowered my hands. I dabbed at the corner of my eyes to get rid of the last evidence of my tears before smiling at both of them.

"Sorry to worry you," I said sincerely.

The bell rang, cutting off any further conversation, Nathaniel rushed into class just in time. The morning went by quickly and I was feeling much better after leaving AP Psychology with my most recent test that had a large 102% circled at the top of the paper.

"Hey, Sato!" I grinned up at Dajan and jogged over to him.

"Hi, Dajan, how was your morning?"

"Good, did you see the signs about the basketball tournament?" he asked. 

I couldn't help but laugh as I looked at the posters that were stuck onto the lockers lining the hallway every couple feet.

"It took me a while, but I noticed them eventually," I teased and he grinned.

"All my boys and I put them up this morning. We want a big turnout since we've hardly had anyone come to our last couple of games. Everyone was pretty psyched about the talent show, so we decided to make a big push for the tournament since we have a shot at qualifying for state," Dajan explained excitedly and I blinked.

"Wait, I thought you said that the state tournament wasn't held until March?" I said, trying to remember back to a previous conversation where Dajan explained the intricacies of basketball to me.

"That's right, but there is an odd number of teams in the state, so they came up with this Winter Tournament at the beginning of the season. Each of the varsity high school teams goes and we play games against each of the other teams on Friday and Saturday until the best team at that point is determined. That team will automatically get past the first heat of the state tournament and face off against one of the winning teams from the first round," Dajan explained animatedly while following me to my locker.

"Wow, so this tournament is a pretty big deal. Has our school ever won before?" I asked curiously. 

Quickly I opened my locker to replace my books, pull out a five-dollar bill from my purse, and grab my phone. I was about to slip it into my pocket when I saw that I had an unread text.

"We came second last year, but the boys and I have been practicing like crazy all year and I think we have a real shot at winning this time," Dajan said with a wide grin. I smiled up at him, glad that he took the time to explain things to me.

"I'm sure you can do it, and I would love to go and watch you!" I said enthusiastically. He wrapped a long arm around my shoulders, squeezing me against him in a brief side hug.

"I knew I could count on you, Sato. Do you think you could convince some of your other friends to come too? It would mean a lot to the team to have a big group from the school cheering us on."

"I'll ask around! I'm sure lots of people would love to come. Where is the tournament, by the way?"

Dajan explained that the two-day tournament would be in a city a few hours from Sweet Amoris. I listened as he told me stories about the last year's tournament. He was just telling me a story of the fun the team had at the hotel the school paid for them to stay at when we sat down at our normal cafeteria table. Rosalya looked up in interest as Dajan finished the story.

"Does the school pay for spectators to stay at the hotel, too?" she asked perkily and Dajan sighed.

"Unfortunately no. I tried to convince the principal it would be a great way to boost school spirit but she wouldn't even consider it."

"You'll still come, though. Right, Sato?" Troy asked from my other side. I smiled and opened my mouth to answer but Rosalya spoke up before I could.

"Of course we'll still come! If we get a couple of other girls to come with us then we can all share the room and split the cost. What do you think, Opal?" Rosalya asked, turning her bright eyes on me and I smiled at her enthusiasm.

"That sounds good to me, but I'm surprised that you would want to come, Rosalya. I thought you spend your weekends with Leigh at his store," I pointed out, but Rosalya waved her hand dismissively.

"Leigh is going to visit his parents all this week so I would be alone if I didn't go. Plus I love going to crowded stadiums. There are so many people wearing so many different colors, it's a great opportunity to think of costume ideas!" she said exuberantly and I couldn't help but laugh.

"You'll come too, right? Iris? Melody?" Rosalya asked, looking to either side of her. 

Iris smiled broadly, looking out of the corner of her eye at Brandon who was eating his food without participating in the conversation.

"I'm in. Any excuse to skip some school," Iris agreed but Melody shrugged delicately and gave an apologetic smile.

"Count me out, Rosalya, David bought us tickets to see a movie premiere this weekend. He'd be devastated if I bailed on him last minute." 

Rosalya frowned and tried to convince her to reschedule but Melody politely refused. Crossing her arms in a perturbed gesture Rosalya shifted so her back was half turned towards Melody and she set her eyes on me once again.

"You'll ask Kim and that cute little Violette to come, won't you?" she asked me. 

I blinked but smiled and readily agreed. I couldn't really see Violette wanting to come to a sporting event, but Kim might be more on board with the idea.

It would be fun if they both could come, though, I thought to myself while taking a bite of the chicken salad sandwich I had chosen for my meal.

A vibration against my upper leg startled me so much, that I almost dropped my sandwich. Placing it down carefully I reached for my phone, having forgotten that I had put it in my pocket on the way to lunch. I felt my eyes widen as I saw that my previous unread text and the most recent one were both from Castiel.

Glancing around surreptitiously, I satisfied myself that no one was paying attention to me at the moment before I clicked on the messages. A yelp nearly escaped me when I saw the thumbnail of the picture Castiel had taken with me after giving me the sun fairy. I blinked and realized that Castiel must have sent it to himself along with his favorites of the pictures from when we went to get ice cream and my heart rate dropped down to normal as I looked down at the two new messages from him.

The first one read, Come out to the courtyard when you're done eating lunch. And the text from a moment ago said, Hurry up. I don't like waiting.

Glancing at my barely touched lunch I sent 5 mins as a response and quickly tackled my food.

Dajan was talking animatedly with Rosalya and Iris about last year's tournament and I listened with interest, feeling excitement building to watch a real basketball match. I had been to several of the boys' practices where they played against each other, but it would be a new experience to see them play against another school's team. I popped the last bite of my sandwich into my mouth and stood to go, but my foot caught on Troy's which he had extended under the table. I stumbled, slipping back onto the bench and bumping Dajan in the side.

"You okay, Sato?" Dajan asked, bringing one of his arms around my waist and steadying my tray with his other.

"Ah man, Sato, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to trip you," Troy apologized, scooting a little bit away from me to let me get out of my spot. I smiled relaxedly at him and shook my head, standing up and removing myself from Dajan's protective arms.

"It wasn't your fault, I wasn't paying attention," I said brightly and he grinned at me.

"Where are you off to so soon?" Rosalya asked with a pout. "We haven't finished making our plans for the tournament."

"I'll text you after I ask Violette and Kim if they can come, then we can all make plans together," I said and Rosalya's pout instantly flipped into a smile.

"Great idea! See you in Economics, Opal!" Rosalya called.

I waved at everyone as I made my way to the window that opened into the kitchen where workers cleaned the dirty trays and utensils. Glancing at my phone I was happy to see that it had only been four minutes since I sent my text. Quickly I left the cafeteria and walked out the front entrance doors.

A brisk wind whipped around me and I shivered, rubbing my left arm and wondering if I should have gone back to my locker for my jacket instead of braving the cold in just my thin turtleneck. As I looked over at Castiel's tree I was surprised to see he was standing, leaning his back against the tall trunk of the maple tree with one foot propped up against it and his hands tucked into his jeans pockets. He met my eyes immediately and smirked, crossing his arms in front of his chest in a picture of impatience. Chuckling softly to myself, I swiftly descended the stairs and made my way over to him.

"What's going on? Why did you want to see me?" I asked as I jogged up to him, holding my arms tight against me to try and conserve some kind of heat. Castiel arched an eyebrow at me and looked me up and down.

"Why did you come out here without your jacket?" he asked while giving me a look that seemed to say I was being less than intelligent.

"You said to hurry," I pouted, clenching my teeth as another gust of wind whooshed by and sent goosebumps down my spine.

Castiel watched me shiver for a moment and then suddenly pushed himself from the tree trunk, propelling himself towards me. Before I could move, or even think, he wrapped his arms around my shoulder and lower back, crushing me firmly against his chest. Sirens seemed to be screaming inside my head and I held my breath, trying not to notice as a strand of his hair tickled my cheek. After several silent moments my brain finally kicked in and I wiggled awkwardly. Castiel let me go as I stumbled a few steps back, bringing my hands up to my steaming cheeks. Castiel grinned wickedly and tapped his own cheek with the back of his hand.

"Are you feeling warm now?" he asked teasingly and I could feel myself blushing even harder underneath my hands.

"If you are just going to tease me then I'm going back inside," I announced, trying to keep from huffing. Castiel laughed, sticking his hands into his black jacket's pockets.

"What are you doing after school?" he asked and I blinked in surprise then I narrowed my eyes warily.

"I have a dance lesson with Shin Woo tonight," I replied cautiously and Castiel frowned.

"What about tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow is my homework night. I have an essay I'm working on for AP Lit," I responded while lowering my hands as my cheeks began to cool off. Castiel's frown deepened.

"What about Friday?" he growled and I shrugged.

"I'm going to go watch the basketball tournament this weekend. Me, Rosalya, Iris, and hopefully Kim and Violette will be going and spending the night in a hotel together so we can be there for the whole tournament." 

Castiel's eyes narrowed and he crossed his arms. "Are you avoiding me, Goody-Two-Shoes?" he asked gruffly. 

I blinked in surprise and then laughed, causing Castiel's stormy look to soften into his normal teasing smirk.

"No, I am not trying to avoid you. If I were I wouldn't be out here in the cold, would I?" I asked with a giggle. Castiel chuckled breathily as if he were trying to hold back his own laughter.

"You could've fooled me, Ghosty," Castiel said with a smirk and I tilted an eyebrow at him.

"Ghosty?" I asked, rubbing my hand against my arm once again as Castiel shrugged.

"You were supposed to be a ghost for the talent show, right? And you're pale enough to be a ghost, when you're not blushing anyways," Castiel said with a mocking grin. 

I rolled my eyes, mentally chomping down on my tongue before I could stick it out at him.

"Why did you want to know what I was doing this week?" I asked curiously and he shrugged.

"I wanted to get you something with my portion of the prize money from the talent show." 

I felt my eyes widen in surprise and my hand dropped back to my side. "Why would you get me something? You should get yourself something, you earned it," I pointed out and he gave me a lopsided grin.

"Yah, I earned it and I want to spend it on you. Don't ask questions, Ghosty. Are you free on Sunday?" 

I opened and closed my mouth mutely. I was sure I was doing a great impression of a fish so I shook my head and nervously snagged a strand of my hair, unconsciously beginning to play with it.

"Auntie and I normally do something together on Sunday. Besides, I don't want you to get me anything. You should get something for yourself," I insisted, trying to be firm. He just smirked at me, though.

"How about if you come with me on Sunday you can help me pick something out?" he wheedled. 

I crossed my arms in frustration, looking at the ground and hardly noticing the cool wind anymore. Why is he being so insistent? I wondered as I looked up at his teasing, yet somehow expectant expression.

"Will you bring Demon?" I heard myself ask and inwardly slapped myself. 

I was supposed to be firm and say no! Why am I caving in? I scolded myself internally.

It's not like you don't want to go with him, a treacherous voice whispered in the back of my mind which I quickly tamped down.

"I can't bring Demon to the mall, but if you go with me we can take him to the dog park and play with him afterward," Castiel replied with a wide grin and I could feel my resistance melt away at his unguarded smile. 

That smile is really unfair, I thought to myself and I shook my head resignedly.

"I will ask Auntie," I said with a sigh and Castiel gently bonked me on the head with his fist.

"Don't look so excited," he mocked with a grin, and unbidden I felt a small smile twitch at the corners of my lips. Castiel laid his hands on my shoulders and turned me around, guiding me towards the stairway up to the entrance. "Come on. We better get you inside before you freeze."

I let him guide me up the stairs, glancing with surprise at his large hands on my shoulders. Even though Castiel had pulled me after him on multiple occasions his touch always seemed so gentle, somehow. I was never once reminded of my father like with Lysander the other day, or Brandon, or even Kentin... Then my thoughts wandered to earlier when Dajan had put his arm so naturally around my waist and I hadn't thought anything of it either. What was it about these two boys that made me feel so safe?

Before I knew it we were inside and I breathed a sigh of relief as the door closed on the chilly outside air. Shaking away thoughts of boys, I briskly rubbed my arms for a moment to warm them up. I glanced over my shoulder to see that Castiel hadn't moved from behind me, even though he had let go of my shoulders. To my surprise, he was watching me silently and I tilted my head up at him in an equally silent question. He smirked in response and tousled my hair.

"Next time grab your jacket, Ghosty," he said and I quirked one eyebrow at him.

"Is this going to become a thing?" I asked dryly and he grinned.

"Obviously," he snorted and I chuckled.

"Sato? What are you doing?" 

I turned in surprise to see Dajan walking out of the cafeteria with Sterling next to him. Smiling, I shrugged and inclined my head towards Castiel.

"Castiel thought I needed the fresh air, apparently," I answered and was surprised when he didn't immediately offer a sarcastic retort. 

Glancing back at him, I was surprised to see that he and Dajan were locked in what looked like a strange staring contest. Biting my inner lip in thought I shrugged and began walking down the hallway.

"Where are you going, Sato?" Dajan asked and I smiled at him.

"To the library," I responded and waved to Castiel who was standing with one hand in his jacket pocket in front of the doors. He nodded to me quickly before turning and striding through the entrance doors once more.

I'm surprised he likes to be outside when it's so cold, I thought to myself as I made my way to the library. My progress came to a halt though as a familiar arm settled against my head and trapped me in place.

"So you ditched us to go talk to Castiel?" Dajan asked from above my head and I heard Sterling laugh.

"You sound like an overprotective dad, dude," he commented and whatever face Dajan pulled made him laugh even harder. 

I tried to move but Dajan rested more of his weight on my head. I crossed my arms, giving a pouting look at Sterling who had come to stand in front of me and Dajan and he grinned in response.

"Don't you have someone you wanted to go talk to, Sterling?" Dajan asked pointedly. I blinked in surprise as Sterling gave an amused look at his friend.

"Right. I'll catch you later, Sato," Sterling said with a strange wink. 

I watched him go, feeling puzzled. I didn't know Sterling as well as the other basketball boys so I wasn't sure what he had meant by that wink. Dajan finally removed his arm from my head and he looked down at me with a small smile.

"I'll go to the library with you," he said brightly. 

I shrugged but returned his smile, always happy to have his company. We walked to the library and I went directly to the row of books with H authors, feeling in the mood to read a Shannon Hale book again. As I browsed the selections Dajan shadowed me without saying anything for a while.

"Everything okay, Dajan?" I asked after picking out the book I wanted, which had been on the bottom bookshelf. When I glanced up I had to strain my neck to look up the length of his incredibly tall body until I met his chocolate-colored eyes.

"Yah, everything's cool. When did you start hanging out with Castiel? He isn't bothering you, is he?" Dajan asked, a slightly hard tone entering his voice. I straightened slowly and shook my head.

"Castiel and I have been friends for a while now. He teases me a lot, but I wouldn't say that he bothers me," I answered honestly and Dajan's brow furrowed.

"Castiel doesn't have the greatest reputation, you know," he mentioned with obvious concern.

Feeling surprisingly defensive because of his comment, my lips pulled down into a faint frown.  "What do you mean by that?" I asked, trying to keep my displeasure from showing in my voice.

"He's not the best influence. I heard that he smokes and loiters around the school causing trouble," Dajan replied bluntly. 

I opened my mouth to refute him but then closed it and thought about his argument logically for a minute.

"I know he used to skip school a lot, but he has been doing a lot better this year. I am fairly confident that he does not smoke, and he doesn't 'loiter' around the school. He and Lysander use the school's basement to practice their music sometimes and they have the principal's permission to do that,"  I explained calmly and Dajan eyes widened slightly.

"You're a lot closer to him than I thought," he commented and I shrugged.

"We've had a class together since I moved to Sweet Amoris and we by chance saw each other over summer break. So yah, I feel like we've become friends." 

Dajan looked down at me and for some reason, I was reminded of when he had given me a piggyback ride to the nurse's office. I had been surprised at the perspective of being so tall at the time. The memory relaxed me a bit and I smiled up at him.

"I know you still think of yourself as my bodyguard, Dajan, but please trust me to choose good friends," I said gently. Dajan expelled a burst of air before chuckling quietly.

"Alright, alright. I guess I was being overprotective," he admitted and I smiled sincerely at him.

"It's very sweet of you, Dajan. I'm really grateful that you are my friend, and I'm excited to spend the weekend watching you and the team play basketball!" I said, moving to go past him to check out my book. 

Dajan followed me back to my locker. Once we got there to my surprise he stayed and talked with me, each of us sitting on the floor with our backs leaning against our lockers until the bell rang for our next class.

"Do you think you could come watch us practice today? It might boost the juniors' spirits to see you," Dajan said with a grin. I thought of Troy and Jason and couldn't help but chuckle.

"I have a commitment for tonight, I'm sorry. Actually, if I want to go to the tournament without having to worry about homework I'm probably going to have to spend all of my free time on projects and homework this week. But I promise that I will get it done so I can be there this weekend," I assured him while opening my locker and rummaging for a moment to get out my AP Bio textbook, colored pencils, and my binder for note-taking.

"Thanks, Sato. I know the team will be a lot more excited if they know you're rooting for them," Dajan said and I smiled, feeling a little embarrassed but happy.

"I can't let my boys down," I responded cheerfully, closing my locker and then blinking as I realized that Dajan hadn't made a move to go to his own locker. "You'd better hurry or you're going to be late," I told him and Dajan shrugged.

"I'll walk with you down the hall, we're going the same way anyway." 

With a shrug, I started down the hall, surprised that the streams of students seemed to instinctively make way for Dajan as we walked down the hall. Once we got to the end of the hall he flashed a peace sign at me before turning to walk down the English hallway. I watched him walk away briefly and couldn't help but smile.

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