Before another press conference could be held to make up for the complete disaster of the first one, Loki was reluctantly pulled into service. Service he didn't know he had to be a part of, and service that he definitely did not want. When you had called him the newest Avenger, it wasn't a ploy to shut people up; it was a secret that you knew, and he just hadn't been told yet. It was going to be announced at that terrible conference, and it got a little too out of hand to mention it to him.

"You are quite mad," Loki snapped at Tony, "and I am certain that this will not see the end that you envision."

"I need all hands, really sorry, new guy. You want free room and board then a little kickback is the least you could do."

"Can't I just get...what do you Midgardians call it? A...a job?"

"You've got one," Stark smiled, almost sorrowfully, "now suit up."

Loki paused, mouth open to retort, instead looking at the rest of the team beginning to file into the jet. He looked down at his attire, finding that the casual jeans and button down that you had bought for him unlikely battle wear. "But I have no suit, as you call it."

"Right here!" You called out to him as you jogged across the hangar bay. "We made it in your signature color, but I had to cut down the horns just a smidge. They'd scrape the roof of the quinjet."

"You knew about this," he whispered angrily, not reaching out for the new attire. The look on his face was a contorted cross between hurt and betrayed, and it stabbed at your chest to see. You were one of the few he trusted in this new home, and to have you already keeping secrets when he was trying so hard to keep none left him uncertain and sad. "Why did you not tell me? Why would you not feel it important to tell me something of this magnitude? (Y/N)...I can't do this."

"Loki, yes, you can. We all believe in you."

"All?" he scoffed, all but tearing the suit from your hands. "Perhaps you should ask the world that I am about to fail in saving." He turned with a huff and a glare in his eyes, in an expression that would be burned into your soul, and one that you never wanted to see again.

"Can we talk about this when you get back?" you asked meekly, but you got no answer. All you would get was a heavy silence, and time alone to punish yourself before giving him the chance to help do it for you.

~~~

It's a trap.

Tony was the absolute master of self-hatred, as well as shitty Star Wars references; everyone knew that from day one of working with him. Most of the team had thought that the sentiment had lessened over time, and that as things began to look up for both the team and in his personal life, he might let some of that hatred go. But now, it was only being refueled as the seconds ticked by.

"They wanted us all out," he lamented to himself, sitting apart from the group in the back corner of the jet, "but why? Who?" He mindlessly chewed on his lip in both anxiety and anger, playing the scenario over and over in his mind until he was growing just a bit mad.

"We must fly faster," Loki urged, "(Y/N) is there alone. There is no one to protect her when we have all been drawn out. I told you that it was unwise for me to go with you. I could have been there to keep her safe."

"I'm going as fast as I can," Clint replied, "unless you have some fancy trick up your sleeve to change physics."

"If I had such a power, I would have made use of it by now, trust that." Loki wrung his hands together in a growing anxiety that was unfamiliar to him. Much of his relationship with you thus far had been unfamiliar, but it had been in a good way. This was definitely not good. This was a fear of losing you like he had never known; even family who had come into his life and gone again had never caused this kind of uncertainty and excruciating impatience. It made him question his feelings, because he had never put a label to them before; he had never felt them in this overpowering way.

"Barton," he leaned down towards the archer just slightly, "I only ask that you don't slow our progress then, for any reason. Could you assure me that much?"

"Of course. You're not the only one on this bird who cares about her, you know? We've been here a hell of a lot longer than you have."

"Yes, I understand that," Loki nodded along, "however...I worry...I find myself with a fear that I can't extinguish. I...I must see that she is okay, with my own eyes. I cannot trust any others."

Clint's hands came to a sudden halt from controlling the jet, leaving them just hovering over the panel as his mind urged him to focus on the revelation taking his thoughts. He raised his head up and slowly spun the chair to face his newest teammate, his mouth slightly agape in disbelief and uncertainty of how he felt about it. "Shit...you're in love, aren't you?"

"Is that what this is? This sick feeling in my stomach and pain in the chest? Is that why my hands refuse to stop their tremor and I seem to be sweating profusely?" Loki exhaled shakily. "Does love cause confusion as well? I feel as if I've contracted some sort of Midgardian illness."

"Yep, sounds like love to me," Barton scoffed, turning back to his work, "trust me, man, you'd rather just get the flu."

~~~

You had just finished a long, relaxing shower, and were headed to the lounge to have the couches to yourself for a movie or two before tucking into bed for the night. The compound was silent, and it was a strange sensation to have it fully to yourself. It was usually filled with conversations, arguments, and laughter to not allow a moment of peace for anyone, no matter the time of day. You felt a pang of loneliness at the stillness of it, but the team wouldn't be gone long. Tony had guessed for only a few hours at best, and you contemplated staying awake until they returned; you hadn't left things with Loki on the best terms, and you wanted the chance to talk before you could sleep.

After a quick trip through the kitchen, you grabbed a few snacks before dropping onto the largest, softest couch, realizing that you might have just condemned yourself to falling asleep there against your will. With an easy wave of your arm, your blanket landed perfectly over your legs, and the cushions were just enough to make a gentle pillow for you to rest on as you settled your body into them.

"Miss (Y/N)!" FRIDAY practically screamed out. "You must move to the hangar bay shelter! Initiate protocol 1A immediately!"

1A was the very first on the long list of Tony and Steve's protocols, and for good reason. It was basically run and hide and don't die, for Stark's lack of a better definition. It was reserved for attacks on the compound or threats from intruders that FRIDAY couldn't halt on her own. It was an alert that made your blood run cold, and made you curse your luck that you just had to be there alone. Without a care to where anything landed, you burst up from the couch and ran towards the hangar, where the nearest safe room was built. You considered hiding in a closet where you were just to get out of sight, but FRIDAY ordered you to evacuate and you weren't about to second-guess her directive.

"FRIDAY, talk to me!"

"There is a blockade at the main door and another at the rear of the building. They're moving to hold at all exits, and have broken through the south entrance. They're using an electromagnetic mechanism to disrupt the building's cameras. You must hurry."

"Because I'm not?" you scoffed. "You seem to forget who you're talking to! The powerless human-"

But you never finished, halted abruptly by a hand on your arm, pulling you backwards mid-step and tumbling to the ground with a loud thud and a slam of your head against the hard floor. A hand came up over your mouth, covered in chloroform-soaked cloth, leaving you nothing to do but succumb to it with one final thought before you were out.

Loki will find me.

~~~

When Loki finally arrived at the compound, he could barely control himself once he was allowed out of the jet; Tony had tried to tell him that FRIDAY would pinpoint your location if you were anywhere on the grounds, but he wouldn't trust that. Like he had told Clint, only his own eyes were capable of this. He had left you with words that he wouldn't have chosen at any other time, and his nerves had been speaking for him. He knew that he had caused pain with his last interaction, and he couldn't stand himself for it; he wouldn't let that be the last memory you had of him.

Loki's feet moved at a remarkable pace, running from room to room in the compound, looking frantically in every closet and every corner until he finally came to a stop when his search left him with nothing. The rest of the team had stayed in the lounge and waited for him, as to not get in his way, even though FRIDAY had confirmed that you were gone within the first thirty seconds of their return. They would give Loki this, the chance to find his own realization, but they wouldn't wait to begin the search. Tony was already working with FRIDAY and reviewing the footage of your capture with a trained eye for any detail that could be a lead.

"She is not here," Loki panted, stopping in front of Thor with his emotions beginning to cloud his vision. "Brother...I ask...I-I beg for your help...please."

"Stark has been at work since we landed," Thor tried to reassure, "and you have to find a way to trust him." He stood to meet Loki, resting a compassionate hand on the man's shoulder, "I promise to you that we will not stop until she is found."

Loki took a step closer, glancing back at the team behind him before turning back to his brother, his voice much quieter. "Promise me that I will be there when you do."

"Are you sure that's wise?"

"I'm sure that it has to be. You know how this will end."

"Loki-"

"Promise me, brother. I would much rather have you at my side than at the other end of my weapon."

As Thor considered his words, knowing full well that Loki was right in that he would fight them all to get to you, he looked down at his brother's hands, only to see a subtle glow of green beginning to swirl around them. "Loki, you must stay calm. I know that it's difficult, but this world is our home now. Don't do anything to risk it remaining that way. We need to get their trust back."

"(Y/N) would be the one here to keep me on that path. She would be here to keep me sane when I question my purpose and my ability here. She would protect me from myself in moments such as this."

"Then let her be here," Thor urged, "and let her guide you as if she were. You can't afford to fall back on old ways, and she's counting on you to keep it together."

"Her faith is misguided."

"I find that quite unlikely."

"Hey, guys?" Natasha broke in, standing and cautiously but quickly making her way towards one of the large windows. "FRIDAY, can we get some light on the storage building exterior?"

"What've you got, Red?" Tony asked, hurrying to stand and meet her. "You see something?" He followed her eye line to what caught her attention, and what was now rendering her mute; he let out a loud groan that evolved into a hiss of rage from behind clenched teeth and a firmly set jaw. He read the words scribbled over the clean white landscape, turning to the two brothers with a new, desperate determination to find whoever took you. "Son of a bitch."

This will never be your home

~~~

After an hour, Tony had decided to put out a public alert for your location, calling out your kidnappers to get as many people into the search as possible. He took a small bit of solace in knowing that it wasn't Hydra, but he also worried more because at least he knew what they were about and how to deal with them. This was a different story, fighting civilians with a grudge and no idea of how far they would go to push Loki out. He held a quick press conference the next morning at the tower, keeping out as many details as he could, particularly that this was directly related to Loki. Again.

When the conference was done, Tony, Steve, and Nat returned from the city with every intention of continuing their work and hoping for tips to begin rolling in to give them leads. No one on the team would rest until you were found, just as they had promised, but even basic needs had to be met in the meantime.

"I'm starving," Tony grumbled, wandering into the kitchen almost aimlessly. He foraged around in the refrigerator for a minute, pausing sadly at a few of your items before finding nothing for himself and turning to the pantry with the same result. "Rogers, want to order out? Your choice, I don't care."

"Sure. Gives us more time to work anyway." Steve took his phone from his pocket and dialed, listening to the rings as he watched his teammate continue to mindlessly open cupboards and drawers until he stopped and turned towards him in a rare confusion. "What?"

"Uh...so this might be a thing...not sure..." Tony stammered, turning all the way around slowly and taking inventory of the countertops, "but...don't we have any knives in this place?"

"We should, why?" Tony didn't respond right away, leaving Steve to play it out and allow his mind to get to the answer on his own. Rogers was a quick thinker, so he gave him a few extra seconds than he would allow himself. "Tony, just say it..." he paused, and his eyes finally widened in understanding.

"Bingo," Tony answered. "FRIDAY, you got a location on Loki?"

"He has left the grounds, boss. As has Miss Maximoff."