"Buenos dìas, bitches."

"Ash?" I asked, genuinely shocked to see him. He clapped his hands together twice and the lights turned on. I was finally able to recognize the place we were in as Ellen's Roadhouse. He raised his arms into the air.

"Welcome to my blue heaven." he said with a grin, which I returned as I heard Sam chuckle beside me. I quickly ran up to him and wrapped my arms around him in a hug, which he gladly returned.

"It's been so long, we have so much to catch up on. I've missed you!" I said out of happiness and excitement as he chuckled. I had almost knocked him over I was so ecstatic.

"Damn, girl. You still look good." he said and I rolled my eyes, but felt my cheeks become hot. I had always loved Ash and seen us as good friends. We just clicked as soon as we met, but when he... It was devastating, to say the least.

"My God--the Roadhouse." Dean said in awe, looking around after most likely giving Ash a warning glare. "It even smells the same." he said. I pulled away from Ash and he picked up the clothes he had discarded on the floor.

"Bud, blood, and beer nuts--it's the best smell in the world." Ash replied, walking behind the counter, then snapped his fingers and pointed at us. "How 'bout a cold one? Up here, no hangover." he said, handing us all beers.

"Thank God." I muttered, thankful for the beer as I quickly popped it open and downed most of it in one go. When I put it back down, Sam moved it a little ways away from me and shook his head with a chuckle.

"So, I mean, no offense-"

"How's a dirt bag like me end up in a place like this?" Ash cut off Sam. "I've been saved, man. I was my congregation's number-one snake handler." he explained and I smiled.

"A-And you said this was your heaven?" Sam pestered him with another question.

"Yep. My own... Personal." he answered, punching a hole in the side of his beer can and gulping it all down with ease before crinkling the can in his hand and throwing it down, letting out a loud burp. My eyes were wide as I looked at Dean, who seemed self conscious of his own beer-drinking skills.

"And when the angels jumped us, we were..." Sam trailed off.

"In your heaven." Ash finished for him, trying to explain it to us while tapping his head and pointing to Sam. As country dumb as Ash seemed, we all knew he was smart and had excellent skills in hacking.

"So there are two heavens?"

"No, more like a hundred billion. So, no worries. It'll take them angel boys a minute to catch up." Ash explained and by this point, we were all utterly confused.

"Wha..." Dean trailed off in confusion.

"You're going to have to do a better job at explaining than that, Ash." I said, laughing softly even though I was just as confused as they were.

"See, you've got to stop thinking of heaven as one place. It's more like a buttload of places all crammed together. Like Disneyland, except without all the anti-semitism." he explained, and it began to set in with me.

"Disneyland?" Sam asked and Ash hummed in confirmation.

"Sorry, never been." I joked, to which Ash rolled his eyes in reply.

"You got Winchesterland..." he made a motion like flexing while making his voice slightly deeper. "Ashland." he gestured to everything around us. "A whole mess of everybody-else-lands." he kind of flailed his arms around to indicate other heavens surrounding us. "Put 'em all together--heaven, right? At the center of it all is the magic kingdom; the garden."

"So everybody gets a little slice of paradise?" Dean inquired.

"Pretty much. Few people share--special cases, whatnot." Ash replied.

"What do you mean, "special"?" Dean asked, confused.

"Oh, you know, like... soul mates." he said and I could practically feel Sam and Dean's eyes on me.

"He's locked out of heaven, don't give me that look." I said without even needing to look at them.

"What?" Ash asked, furrowing his brows in confusion.

"Henry here's got a soul mate."

"Yeah, a frigging angel." I mumbled and Ash hissed. "He's a good angel though."

"Never heard of one of those." he said in doubt and looked down. "Anyways... Most people can't leave their own private Idahos." Ash said, getting back to the topic we were on.

"But you ain't most people." Dean pointed at him with a grin.

"Nope. They ain't got my skills."

"Yeah."

"Hell, I have been all over--Johnny Cash... Andre the Giant..." he looked at me. "Einstein. Rhett, that man can mix a white Russian." he said and I laughed while Sam let out a chuckle. "Hell, the other day, I found Mallanaga Vatsyayana's." he said as if we'd know who that was.

"Who?" I asked, confused.

"Wrote "The Kama Sutra". That boys heaven--oh, sweaty, confusing." Ash said, seeming slightly disgusted.

"All this from a guy who used to sleep on a pool table." Dean said, intrigued. I smiled at the memory of when we had first met Ash.

"Yeah, now that I'm dead, I'm livin', man--a whole lot more."

"How'd you find us?" I asked curiously. I had wanted to ask since the start.

"I rigged up my very own..." he leaned down to get something from under the bar. "Holy rollin' police scanner." he said, setting down what looked like a disfigured laptop and pressing a button. It powered on and showed a screen with a lot of squiggly sound waves. I heard a high pitched noise, which was soon replaced with a lot of overlapped voices, mainly repeating that we were on the loose and to find us as soon as possible. "That's angels, blabbing enochian, okay?"

"Find the Winchester's and bring them to my office." I repeated one of the voices. "That's gotta be Zachariah."

"You can understand them?" Ash asked, becoming the one confused instead of us for once.

"Part angel. Like I said, we have a lot to catch up on..." I said with a small smile, knowing we probably wouldn't end up catching up on them right now.

"Okay... Anyways, I'm fluent." he said, which made it my turn to be confused, but I didn't ask about it. He clicked the button that turned it off and continued as he put it back. "I heard that you were up. 'Course I had to come and find you--again." he said, but I didn't remember him finding us a first time.

"Again?" Dean asked, asking the question that we were all thinking.

"This ain't the first time you been here. I mean, you guys die more than anyone I have ever met." he said, matter-of-factly.

"Really?" Dean asked.

"Ah, yeah. You don't remember. God! Angels--must have windexed your brains." he said in annoyance and I grimaced.

"Please don't word it like that."

"So, uh, I mean, have you found anybody else? Ellen and Jo?" Sam questioned curiously. Ash then looked at us all, as if he was taken by surprise.

"Ellen and Jo are dead?" he asked, giving us a skeptical look, which made me feel extremely remorseful.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, a few months now. I'm sorry." Sam responded as I looked down at my hands with a frown. I remembered the day that happened. It was awful.

"Um..." Ash cleared his throat and nodded, trying to calm himself down so he wouldn't get emotional. "Uh, they went down fighting?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, to the end."

"Yeah, a lot of good it did." Dean rebuked. I tried to ignore him and looked at Ash.

"Have you seen our parents?" I asked with a small, hopeful smile. I would give anything to really see them again.

"Been looking all over for John Winchester. Mary too. So far, nada. I'm sorry." Ash sighed, to which I frowned. "But, hey, there is somebody who I know for sure wants to jaw with you." he said, straightening up, pointing at us, and then backing up. "Hold up." he walked away and into another room, soon returning with someone I almost didn't recognize, but once I did, I lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Pamela!" I cried in excitement and stood, wanting to tackle her in a hug as well, but then remembering that we were the people that got her killed and quickly recoiling.

"Nice to see you guys again." she said happily and Ash oohed.

~

Dean was talking to Pamela and Sam and I were watching Ash do his thing on the laptop, pestering him with questions about it. After a while we heard Dean tell Pamela, "...If it makes you feel any better, we got Ash killed, too." to which Ash snapped, held up his hand in a rocker motion (pinky finger and index finger up with the rest down) and replied with, "I'm cool with it!"

"He's cool with it." Dean repeated and then I stopped listening to let them have their own personal talk.

"So, half angel, huh?" Ash asked, not pausing his typing on the disfigured laptop.

"And half demon." I added, to which he stopped long enough to look at me. "Relax, I still have some humanity left. Just don't make me angry." I said happily and he showed the ghost of a smile before going back to typing.

"So what do I need to know about this soul mate guy of yours?" he asked with a small smirk and I sighed, thinking.

"He's a rogue angel."

"Yeah? Cool. The hell does that mean?"

"He rebelled against Heaven for me, Sam, and Dean." I explained.

"Bad ass! I like it." he said and went quiet as he kept typing before grinning. "Got it! Short cut to the garden."

Sam turned and told Dean, then me and Ash turned as Ash once again did a rocker gesture. "Oh, yeah!" he said in a sort of happy whisper.

Ash got his chalk once again and wrote something that looked like a square root on the door as the rest of us watched.

"All access pass to the magic kingdom." he stated.

"Good." Dean said, just wanting to get back to Earth, as did I. I could hardly wait to see Cass again since before this I already hadn't seen him for weeks and now longer. Ash looked at Dean with a facial expression that basically said, "what do you mean?"

"Not good?" I asked, confused.

"That Zach fella's gonna be watching every road to the garden." he said, pointing at the door and somewhat at us and I frowned. Dean and I turned around to see Sam hug Pamela goodbye and I grinned, waiting for my turn giddily since I hadn't hugged her earlier.

"So watch your ass." she said to Sam, then turned to me. It was slightly depressing that she was still about three inches taller than me, which seemed a lot more than it was from where I stood. I quickly squeezed her in a tight hug, which she returned. I pulled back and she ruffled my hair. "You too, be careful." she said, acting like I was a lot younger than her when I was really only maybe four years younger than her. When we pulled away, she looked at Dean with a smirk. "And Dean..."

He held out his arms for a hug, but instead, she caressed his neck and pulled him in for a proper kiss, that lasted a little longer than I cared to have seen. I grimaced and looked at Sam and Ash so I wouldn't have to look at that. Is this how he feels around me and Cass? The next time I looked at them they were pulling back.

"Yep. Just how I imagined." Pamela spoke softly, but loud enough for us all to hear. She patted his cheek and pulled away, leaving Dean looking stunned. We turned to look at Ash just in time for him to finish drawing symbols on the door.

"Lady and gentlemen." he addressed us with a sigh. "I don't mean to be a downer or anything, but, uh... I'm sure I'll see you again soon." he said and I rolled my eyes at his doubt of us being alive for very long. Dean turned to wink at Pamela and I nudged him with a glare. He turned back to me with a look that said "what the hell?" before looking at Ash.

"Well, keep a sixer on ice for us." Ash nodded.

"Yeah." he opened the door from behind him and stood beside it to see us out. My brothers went first, but I paused to lean up and kiss his cheek.

"Thanks Ash. Love ya'." I said and saw a small smile cross his face.

"'Course. Now go save your ass." he said. I nodded and with that, followed Sam and Dean.

When the door shut behind us, the surroundings were different once again, and it certainly did not look like a garden. We were back home and it was dark outside and inside. We all exchanged the same confused look and I frowned.

"What the... Why are we back home?" Dean asked in confusion, looking around. I shrugged, just as perplexed as him.

"Hell if I know..." I mumbled sadly, wondering just what the hell was going on anymore.

"So, what are we gonna do?" Sam asked with a tired sigh.

"Keep looking for the road again, I guess." Dean suggested, to which we both nodded.

"Honey? Why are you up?" I heard that familiar nurturing voice and we all turned to see mom standing before us. She moved closer to Dean and I and I backed up.

"Look, I'm--I'm--I'm sorry. I love you... But you're not real. And we don't have time--"

"Did you have a nightmare?" mom cut off Dean while walking closer. I kept backing away from her until I bumped into Sam, who put a protective hand on my shoulder. It wasn't that I didn't want to be around mom, but I knew there was a high possibility of this being a trap. "Tell me." she finished when she stopped moving. When I looked at Dean, I could see him shaking slightly.

"I got to go." he said simply, trying to move past her.

"Then how about I tell you my nightmare, Dean? The night I burned." my eyes widened at her words and she stared darkly at Dean. I stared in horror as blood began spreading from her stomach. I'll admit, there wasn't much that I remembered about that night, but seeing it again now jolted my memory and I turned a little bit to hold onto Sam.

"Sammy, Henry, let's get out of here." Dean said to us, not turning away from mom. We all began to walk before mom stopped us again.

"Don't you walk away from me." She said in a deep, angry tone. We turned back to her, and this time, much to my surprise, she was glancing between Dean and me. "I never loved you." she said, looking directly into my eyes. I felt my chest tighten, but she turned her attention back to Dean. "You two were my burden. I was shackled to you." the next thing I knew, her eyes flashed yellow. "Look what it got me."

Tears started to prick at my eyes. I had always been ten times more emotional than Dean, especially when it came to family. I could never hide it as well as him, even when he told me I'd have to.

"Dean. Rhett." Sam said, pulling me out of my trance. I wiped my eyes and looked at Sam before at Dean. He turned around to face us slowly, but there was a loud clang and the lights went an eerie shade of green. All the exits were suddenly covered by bricks as we looked around. My heartbeat began to increase. It was a trap. We were stuck in this room, with our yellow eyed mother.

When we looked back at her, her eyes went back to normal color and she began to pace around us.

"The worst was the smell." she began, and I knew this was going to haunt my nightmares for many nights to come. "The pain, well... What can you say about your skin bubbling off?" my breath hitched as she glanced at me. She looked back at Dean as she continued. "But the smell was so... you know, for a second, I thought I left a pot roast burning in the oven." she grinned, but it wasn't the grin I was used to seeing on my mother. It was a sinister grin. "But... It was my meat. And then, finally, I was dead." I noticed as she was speaking, that Dean had been inching back towards one of the brick walls. "The one silver lining..." he turned and pressed his hands against the wall like he was trying to figure out how hard it was to break down. "Is that at least I was away from you." as she said "you", she once again looked directly into my eyes, without moving her head from looking in Dean's direction.

Dean turned back around as she smiled that sickening smile. She let out a short sigh, suddenly looking somewhat... thoughtful.

"Everyone leaves you, Dean. You noticed?" she asked. I glanced at Dean, wanting nothing more than to comfort him and tell him that she was lying, but I was frozen to my spot. "Mommy... Daddy... Even Sam." she tilted her head at Sam. I swallowed the lump in my throat and walked to Dean, wrapping my arms around him.

"I've never left you, Dean." I whispered, noticing just how tense his body was. "I never will. Ever."

"Yes you will." she said, but seemed shocked that I had even said anything to him. "You don't know it yet, but you've already abandoned them." she said, to which I looked at her with more fear than I'd had this entire time.

"Easy there, kitten." I heard that God forsaken voice and my heart rate increased as I gulped. "Going a little bit off script there." Zachariah said, walking out from behind the wall and beside our mom.

"You did this." Sam spoke, every word laced with disgust.

"And I'm just getting started. I mean, guys, did you really think you could sneak past me into mission control?"

"You son of a bitch." Sam growled as I moved slightly away from Dean to try and stop him from doing anything stupid. Before I could get far, I felt someone grab me by the upper arms rather roughly. I looked around to see angels holding my brothers, then tried to look at the angel holding me with a hiss.

"You know, I'd say the same thing about you, Sam, but I have actually grown quite fond of your mother. Or, at least, the blessed memory of her." he replied and moved moms hair from her neck to lean down and kiss her. I glared in loathing.

"Get the hell away from her." I growled angrily, wanting him as far away as I could. I struggled against the angel holding me, but their grip only tightened. When he finally did pull away, he looked at me with a smug smirk.

"Would you rather it be you, then?" he asked and I visibly grimaced, my stomach twisting in disgust at the thought of him putting his slimy hands on me or my mom.

"I'm going to kick your ass." I hissed, which only made him chuckle.

"I think your mom and I are going to be logging a lot of quality time together. I've discovered she's quite the... Milf." he said. I closed my eyes in a grimace and turned to look at Dean instead when they opened again.

"You can gloat all you want, you dick. You're still bald." Dean said. I smirked smugly, knowing my brother could always find some funny insult.

"In Heaven I have six wings and four faces, one of which is a lion." Zachariah moved his hand to motion a mane, to which I rolled my eyes. "You see this because you're..." he stroked mom's arm. "Limited."

At those words, I glared and tried focusing to see his soul. I let my eyes shut for another moment, and when I opened them again, his disgusting bald head was gone, and instead there was a sphere of... Yellow light.

"You know, yellow's always been my least favorite color." I said, cocking my head to the side a little as I blinked and went back to normal vision. He was glaring at me, never moving his eyes as he brought up his hand and snapped his fingers. In an instant, mom was gone, and I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding since his hand had moved.

"Let's brass-tack this, shall we?" he asked, shifting his eyes to look at all three of us. He then began walking closer to Dean.

"What, are you gonna ball-gag us until we say "yes"? Huh? Yeah, I've heard that tune." Dean didn't have a moment to get out another word as Zachariah's knee came up and into his gut sharply. He grunted as he bent down, despite the angel's grip on his arms.

"I'm gonna do a lot more than that. I've cleared my schedule. Get him up." he ordered the angel, who did. I was waiting for him to give Dean another blow, but instead, he walked up to me.

"Stay away from her." I heard Dean grumble in pain, but of course, Zachariah didn't listen. He brought his hand up to my face, rubbing his thumb over my bottom lip as I stared at him out of pure repulsive hatred. As scared as I was that we were never going to get out of this, I tried to stand my guard, not letting him see that fear, though it must've been clear in my eyes because I saw him smirk just slightly. He moved his hand back to stroke my hair, not caring about how uncomfortable I was at all. Freaking rapist.

"Let me tell you something. I was on the fast track once. Employee of the month every month--forever." he whispered, rather close to my face. "I'd walk these halls, and people would avert their eyes! I had respect!" he shouted, gripping my hair tight and I let out a soft whimper of pain as it felt like he was going to pull it right out of my skull. He looked at Sam now, a furious glare scrunching up his facial features. "And then they assigned me you." he said, looking over at Dean instead and letting go of me roughly. He backed up and chuckled as he walked far enough away to look at us all again. This man is bipolar as hell. "Now look at me. I can't close the deal on a few pathetic flannel-wearing maggots? Everybody's laughing at me. And they're right to do it. So... Say yes, don't say yes. I'm still gonna take it out of your asses. It's personal now, boys and girl. And the last person in the history of creation you want as your enemy is me. And I'll tell you why; Lucifer may be strong, but I'm... Petty. I'm gonna be the angel on your shoulder for the rest of eternity."

"Excuse me, sir?" another voice asked and Zachariah turned as I looked to see who it was. There stood a much shorter dark skinned man, or angel. His vessel was older and he looked surprisingly kinder than the one's I'd been used to seeing here, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"I'm in a meeting." Zachariah said, his voice filled with clear annoyance like a teenage girl.

"I'm sorry. I need to speak to those three." the new angel said, but I tried not to be relieved just yet. We still weren't sure who this guy was, much less whether we should trust him to be better than Zachariah yet or not, but I was grateful that he was getting us out of this situation for now.

Zachariah, on the other hand, didn't seem too thrilled about what he was saying, In fact, he seemed offended.

"Excuse me?" he asked, stalking closer to the stranger.

"It's a bad time, I know. But I'm afraid I have to insist." Zachariah scoffed at this.

"You don't get to insist jack squat." he argued.

"No, you're right. But the boss does. His orders." the stranger explained. Sam, Dean, and I all looked at each other.

"You're lying." Zachariah tried, and I tried to hide a small smirk from crossing my face at how out of it he seemed now.

"Wouldn't lie about this. Look... Fire me, if you want. Sooner or later, he's gonna come back home. And you know how he is with that whole "wrath" thing." he said slightly menacingly. Zachariah looked back at us. I bit my lip and in an instant, him and all of his angel friends were gone, except who I was presuming was Joshua, the only Angel who still talks to God.

Suddenly our surroundings changed once again, and we were standing in a literal garden instead of our old living room.

"This is... Heaven's garden?" Sam asked, pointing to the ground like he was referring to everything around us. I looked around as we walked closer to the new angel, smiling a bit out of happiness.

"It's nice... ish. I guess." Dean added with a lighthearted chuckle.

"You see what you want to here. For some, it's God's throne room. For others, it's Eden. You three, I believe it's the Cleveland Botanical Gardens. You came here on a field trip." Joshua explained and once he said that, I automatically recognized the place better.

"You're Joshua, aren't you?" I asked on an impulse, tilting my head a bit at him.

"I'm Joshua." he nodded.

"So, you... talk to God?" Sam asked.

"Mostly, he talks to me." Joshua corrected, but it still gave us the answer we wanted. We glanced at each other before looking back at him.

"Well, um, we need to speak to him. It's important." Sam explained.

"Where is he?" Dean asked.

"On Earth." Joshua answered simply.

"Doing what?" Dean questioned some more.

"I don't know." Joshua replied in sort of a whisper.

"Do you know where on Earth?" Sam took a shot at the questioning instead. I would probably be more talkative, but my mind kept wandering to what nightmare mom said about me leaving the boys, and how Zachariah seemed to know about it.

"No. Sorry." Joshua's answer brought me out of my thoughts for a while. "We don't exactly speak face-to-face."

"I'm sorry, I-I-I don't get it. God's not talking to nobody, so..." Dean trailed off in sort of confusion.

"So why is he talking to me? I sometimes think it's because I can sympathize--gardener to gardener. And between us, I think he gets lonely." Joshua answered, which made sense to me.

"Well, my heart's breaking for him." Dean said with that sort of sarcastic tone and I gently nudged him to keep him from getting us killed.

"Well, can you at least get him a message for us?" Sam asked and Joshua turned his gaze to him, looking somewhat pitiful, if that made sense.

"Actually, he has a message for you. "Back off." he replied, causing my eyes to widen a bit.

"What?" Dean asked as I asked, "Huh?"

"He knows already--everything you want to tell him." Joshua responded, smiling a little, but it didn't look real or sincere.

"But-" Dean began, but Joshua spoke again.

"He knows what the angels are doing. He knows that the apocalypse has begun. He just doesn't think it's his problem." Joshua explained, much to my surprise.

"Not his problem?" Dean asked my thoughts before I could even get them out.

"God saved you already. He put you on that plane. He brought back Castiel. He granted you salvation in Heaven, even you." he said, looking at me and I knew he meant since I was half demon. "And after everything you've done, too." he then looked at Sam, who looked guilty. "It's more than he's intervened in a long time." Joshua sighed. "He's finished. Magic amulet or not, you won't be able to find him."

"But he can stop it. He could stop all of it." Dean tried, but Joshua apparently wasn't having it.

"I suppose he could, but he won't."

"Why not?"

"Why does he allow evil in the first place? You could drive yourself nuts asking questions like that."

"So he's just gonna sit back and watch the world burn?" Dean asked, seemingly extremely resentful towards the "man upstairs".

"I know how important this was to you, Dean. I'm sorry." Joshua said. He seemed to genuinely mean it, but it didn't mean anything to us. It didn't help.

"Well, forget it. Just another deadbeat dad with a bunch of excuses, right?" Dean's words made me freeze a bit and look up at him with a small frown. "Nah, I'm used to that. I'll muddle through."

"Except... You don't know if you can this time. You can't kill the devil. And you're losing faith--in yourself, your brother, your sister, and now this. God was your last hope. I just... I wish I could tell you something different." the way Joshua said everything... So... Sincerely. I glanced at Dean with a small frown. Had he really given up on us? Damn, I was so tired of angels reading our minds.

"How do we know you're telling the truth?" Sam asked, most likely out of disbelief, but for some reason I could see that what Joshua had told us was the truth.

"You think that I would lie?" he asked in offense.

"It's just... You're not exactly the first angel we've met." Sam explained.

"I'm rooting for you guys. I wish I could do more to help you. I do. But... I just trim the hedges." Joshua smiled a bit, showing off the dimples in his cheeks.

"So, what now?" Dean asked, and Joshua began to walk away from us.

"You go home again. I'm afraid this time won't be like the last." he turned around to look at us. "This time... God wants you..." he held up his hand. "To remember."

In an instant, there was a flash of bright light and even I couldn't see. When it dissipated, I looked around. I was still in the garden, but my brothers weren't. Joshua still stood in front of me.

"W-What?" I asked, confused. "What's going on?"

"There's something... Else... For you." Joshua said, looking at me with what I could only think to be pity. "Nobody knows, not even me really. Nobody's supposed to know. Not your brothers, not your angel."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, trying not to be afraid.

"You're something different. He says... You are a paradox." he tried to explain, and I felt a twinge of pain in my head and I reached for it. "Ever wonder why this all seems so... familiar?"

Once again, there was a bright flash of light and suddenly everything went dark.

~

I shot up with a gasp on the bed right beside Sam. There was still blood on my clothes, which made me groan, but once I looked around I smiled as I saw that both of my brothers were awake too.

"You all right?" Sam asked us, looking pretty shaken up.

"Define "all right"." Dean replied.

"Hey, we're alive again, so that's something." I said, forcing a bigger smile on my face to try and cheer them up a little bit. Dean rolled his eyes and stood up, pulling out his phone, most likely to call Cass. I sighed and closed my eyes.

Cass, we're back.

In an instant, the angel was standing in front of me. I could feel the little wind that he'd brought with him. I wanted to hug him, but at the same time, I didn't want to get blood on his clothes. He looked like he wanted to do the same, but settled for being slightly more professional in front of the boys.

"Cass?" Dean asked, putting away his phone.

"Rhett called me." he said, looking at Dean, who looked utterly confused. I smirked at Dean.

We explained everything that had happened in heaven, but I left out the part of what Joshua said before sending me back. I couldn't wrap my head around it. What did he mean by me being a paradox. I tried not to think about it too much since I knew Cass could read my mind, but I'd also gotten better at keeping him out.

By the end of the story, the boys had changed out of their bloody clothes. I had too but I had to go to the bathroom. Cass had migrated to leaning against a wall while we packed our things to leave. Needless to say, he looked distraught.

"Maybe..." he started, and I turned my attention from my bag and to him. "Maybe Joshua was lying." he said, and for some reason my heart felt heavy. I knew he was talking about what Joshua had said to all of us, but it felt like he had read my mind and knew everything, even though he hadn't. I frowned.

"I don't think he was." I said softly, zipping up my bag before walking over to him and putting a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry." I whispered, but he didn't even look at me. Sam sighed from behind us. Cass looked down at the floor, then slowly pushed away from me, walking towards the door. He looked up, like he was looking at the sky.

"You son of a bitch." he took a deep breath. "I believed in..." he trailed off. I could almost feel my heart break, looking at how shattered he was. He stared up for a second more before turning around. Both hands were in his pockets as he moved closer to Dean. He pulled out one, holding onto Dean's amulet. "I don't need this anymore." he said tiredly and tossed it to Dean, who caught it with ease. "It's worthless." He turned, but before he could leave, I called out to him.

"Cass-" but he was gone. I frowned and looked at my brothers instead.

"We'll find another way." Sam said, walking forward and throwing his bag on the bed. Dean was inspecting his amulet. "We can still stop all this." Dean finally looked up.

"How?" he asked. I looked down at my hands. I had to keep secrets from them now and I hated it. Sam turned to Dean.

"I don't know. But we'll find it." Sam said and I smiled.

"My boys and me." I added, making Sam smile just a little bit.

"We'll find it." he repeated. Dean looked back at his amulet for a second. He grabbed his bag and walked to the door, amulet still in hand. He stopped in his tracks by a trash can, and everything seemed to slow down as he let go of it.

The amulet landed in the trash can with a thud and Sam and I exchanged glances. Dean opened the door and left, followed by Sam and finally me.

But neither of them saw me swipe the amulet back up.