There was a hearing at the court; I don't know what the judge saw in me. He didn't accuse me of being guilty and threw me in prison. He let me continue my medications in the hospital. Until I recovered completely, I wasn't allowed to leave the institute.

I hardly spoke that day, lawyers did the talking and somehow we won Dr Krishnan told me. He would constantly say positive words to me and tried to make me feel better, but how can I? I have killed everyone; the guilt would slowly kill me.

Deep down I knew, I didn't deserve to live, nor should I be in prison. I deserved something much bigger.

Bethany called me after a few days, she had heard about it. She has to; it was all over the news.

The headlines read: Patient kills her family members and friends, her boyfriend and her brother's girlfriend.

Wow, couldn't they come up with a much more emphatic title? Bethany said she was coming over to meet me, she comforted me by telling it wasn't my fault, it was just a health condition and when I'm better, she will take me to her place. Forget about this, and start a new life Mr David her husband, and their little princess Melody were eagerly waiting for my arrival she said over the phone. I'm not sure if that's true though, they would be frightened out of their wits that a psycho killer would be staying with them.

Ok was my answer to everything she said and I cut the call. It was Feb 29th leap day; I had escaped on Feb 20th. As Susan said, I should have been hospitalized earlier.

The antipsychotics were helpful in some way. I had been additionally diagnosed with a dissociative disorder that was the reason I couldn't remember the night I killed Joy the way Susan described to me.

I could feel myself getting better, but then a worry would cross over like a dark cloud. What if the treatments don't work and the hallucinations and delusions start? How can I be sure that even this is just a part of my imaginary mind? Will I be named as a serial killer? How many people am I yet to murder? As the days went on, I hated myself more and more.

The clock struck 3; Bethany said she would arrive by 3. I was nervous to meet her; I was afraid that I might harm her and if I moved in with her I might even harm her family and everyone she loved dearly. I knew she loves me as well, and wouldn't leave me here to live all by myself.

I sat on the railing where Susan said I pushed Joy. I looked up above the sky my favourite person was still there smiling back at me. I heard from Sister Denise that it rained continuously from Feb 21st and stopped only a few days back. The small one would have been happy, I wasn't sure if I would ever meet him again.

Life was similar to a roller coaster ride, the ups and down's, twists and turns are what makes everyone get onto it, even when they know it would be nerve-racking, that's what makes it fun.

In simpler words life is a breath-taking ride; we need to make sure we are in the driver's seat.

Facing the sky I said... "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to kill anyone of you. These hands had taken away so many lives, I wouldn't allow it to kill anymore, and these legs have run away from people who cared about me, they wouldn't run anymore. This heart that had loved everyone a bit too much must stop working to put an end to all the crime I had committed. No matter what people say, I always followed my instinct, and right now all it says is I'm at fault; the guilt would never go away. So, I'm about to let go."

I let go of the railing I was holding on to and I was flying, I smiled so much I felt that my cheeks would tear apart. I could see my entire life flash out in front of my eyes; it played over like a movie reel.

The day I kicked Joy in my sleep and he fell over with a loud bang, once I sneaked out with Bethany for a movie night, the first time I ever held a boy's hand that wasn't Joy's, the birthday bash I threw for the twins, the road trip to Kanyakumari with Joy and Beth, a perfect new year's eve with Susan, Joy and Beth.

And I remembered the night I killed my brother. All these days, no matter how hard I tried, that particular event remained like a missing piece.

I didn't do it, I heard voices or were those echo's ordering me to push me. It was threatening me, a girl's voice and it wasn't friendly.

What did I hear exactly? Is still unknown to me.

And the memory started to fade out,

I crashed straight onto the ground. My breathing slowed down, I haven't died yet, and I wanted to die. I don't want to stay bedridden for the rest of my life. Just take away my soul I wanted to scream. The pain was unbearable, blood oozed out from places I never thought it would. This is what they call lying in a pool of blood, I tried hard to drift out from this realm, the pain was piercing, and I wanted it to end.

I heard footsteps rushing towards me; people were surrounding me yelling for doctors and nurses. No one stepped forward and that's when I heard a loud screech, rushing footsteps towards me.

"Why Nuts? Why did you do this?" it was Bethany's voice. I opened my eyes to see her, she was crying as her tears fell over my face. I smiled, now I know why my soul wouldn't go away. It hadn't seen my best friend. How could it go, without saying its last goodbyes.

She looked funny as usual, messed up-braids that had loosened up; her tears were black as it erased her kajal and was ruining her beautiful face. Her lips seemed to be murmuring something... I heard them "stay with me, stay with me" she kept repeating those words.

I held her hand, and I whispered

"I didn't do it" and the world grew lifeless.