Two years ago, Freed got a call from Gray about Natsu needing help.

TW for mental breakdown, psychosis, mentions of self-harm, mentions of suicide attempts, hospitalization

-----

Two Years Ago

Freed yawned, glaring at their linguistics textbook and running a hand through their hair. The longer they looked at the words, the less and less sense they made. Grabbing their coffee, they drained it and leaned back in their chair. They glanced at their phone, sighing in relief at the text from Laxus.

Be there in five. Looking forward to our date.

Gray's name suddenly flashed across the screen with an incoming call and Freed frowned, looking cautiously around the library before swiping to answer.

"Allo?" Freed tucked the phone under their chin and began to pack their books into their bag. Hopefully this material made more sense the next time they looked at it.

"Freed?" Gray's voice was frantic and Freed immediately stopped what they were doing, standing up and frowning. "I need your help."

"What's wrong?" Freed asked, feeling a sense of trepidation wash over them. Gray wasn't easily unsettled, but right now he sounded like he was going to cry.

"Natsu, are you still there, sweetheart?" There was a muffled sound of affirmation and Freed realized that Gray had them both on the line. "Okay, you still safe?" Another sound. "Freed, Natsu isn't doing well. I'm in Burnaby and I'm on my way home, but I need someone to go be with Natsu until I get there."

"Of course," Freed replied automatically, pulling their phone away from their ear and switching it to speakerphone to text Laxus.

Change of plans, they wrote. Natsu's not good, Gray needs us to go to him.

"Natsu, I'll be there as soon as I can," Freed reassured, trying their best to sound soothing. "You're at home?" They knew that Natsu suffered from bipolar disorder, but he hadn't had a bad episode since he'd attempted suicide several years back.

"Y-yes..." Natsu's voice was soft and uncertain, and it was clear that he'd been crying. "I'm in the b-bedroom now. But I d-don't..." His voice broke and he started to cry again. "I'm s-sorry..."

"Sweetheart, it's okay," Gray said gently, and Freed could hear the heartbreak in his friend's voice. "Nobody's mad at you. I just want you to be safe." Natsu's crying intensified and Freed felt tears beginning to push at their own eyes.

"I-I'm j-just..." Natsu's voice wavered and he hiccupped through his tears. "I sh-shouldn't feel like th-this anymore, a-and I..."

"It's not your fault," Freed interjected carefully, hearing the background sounds of Gray getting into his car and starting it.

"Having you been taking your meds?" Gray asked.

"Y-yeah," Natsu said shakily. "A-and I took the Ativan t-too but I j-just can't think and it's so loud, and I'm... s-scared..." He trailed off as Freed's phone pinged with a message from Laxus.

I'm outside.

"You're gonna be okay," Gray reassured Natsu, and Freed could hear Gray's voice break. "Je t'aime, mon couer, we're going to get you help."

"I'll be there in ten minutes," Freed assured them both, grabbing their backpack and heading to the front of the library. "Are you going to be okay until there?" They knew that Natsu hurting himself again was Gray's greatest fear.

"Y-yeah. I d-don't... I c-can't..." Natsu's words slipped out between gasps of air, and Freed felt their heart breaking. Natsu was the kindest, friendliest, most giving person they knew. This wasn't fair.

"Are you going to hurt yourself?" Gray's question was gentle but blunt. Natsu's sobs echoed over the phone line.

"I d-don't want to," he insisted. "P-please don't be m-mad."

"I'm not mad, sweetheart," Gray insisted. "Neither is Freed. We love you and we're concerned about you. I think we should get you to the hospital. Freed, can you and Laxus take him there?"

"Of course," Freed replied, pulling out their wallet to make sure they had the copy of Natsu's health care card that Gray had given them. Freed also had a copy of their apartment keys, and they felt around in their backpack to make sure they had them. "Gray, why don't you stay on the phone with Natsu until I get there?" Freed suggested.

"Okay," Gray replied, taking a deep breath. "Let me know when you're there, okay?"

"I will. Laxus is here, we'll be there soon." They opened the front door of the library and darted down the walk towards Laxus' car. "Natsu, you're going to be okay, we're on our way. Gray, drive safe."

"Thank you," Gray said quietly. "I'll be there as quickly as I can."

~

When they got to Gray and Natsu's apartment, Freed took the stairs three at a time and unlocked the front door. They could hear Natsu crying from the front entrance, and Freed quickly found him curled up against the wall in the far corner of the bedroom, phone in his hand. Freed took the phone gently and handed it to Laxus so he could let Gray know they'd arrived.

"Natsu, it's Freed. Can I touch you?" Natsu didn't answer, just trembled and kept his face buried in his arms. "Have you hurt yourself?" Freed couldn't see anything sharp nearby, and it didn't seem like Natsu was bleeding, but they wanted to be certain. "Did you take anything?"

"D-didn't help," Natsu mumbled, lifting his head a bit. His eyes were red and puffy and he looked over Freed's left shoulder. "S-shouldn't help. I'm... it's not..." He pulled his knees tighter to his chest and looked miserable. "I'm s-sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Laxus said gently, kneeling down next to them and tucking the phone into his shirt pocket. "It's not your fault. Do you think you can come out into the living room with us?" Natsu shook his head frantically.

"N-no, c-can't, n-not safe," he whispered, and Freed felt chills run up their arms. "It's t-too much, I d-don't want to th-think these... things, I d-don't want t-to hurt m-myself b-but it's, they're saying... I d-don't want to."

The tears ran down his face and he didn't wipe them away, just ran his hands through his hair in anger and frustration.

"Natsu, you're sick," Freed said gently, settling themself into a sitting position nearby. "You have an illness and it's making you think things that aren't real. Nobody is going to hurt you."

"I c-can't stop th-thinking about..." Natsu whimpered, pulling in on himself. "...about h-hurting -myself." He took a few shaky breaths. "I h-haven't since..."

He looked down at the long, white scar on his left forearm – a reminder of the time he tried to take his own life and Gray had saved it.

"I know," Freed reassured him, "and you're doing such a good job right now. You must be really scared and confused." Natsu nodded miserably. "The doctors at the hospital can help you," Freed continued carefully. "Laxus and I can drive you and Gray will meet us there, okay?"

Natsu tugged at his hair again, scrubbing at his face with his hoodie sleeves. He shook his head vigorously.

"Th-there's... it's not s-safe," he insisted weakly. Freed glanced over at Laxus, who moved a bit closer. "Th-they'll... they s-said..."

"Natsu, look at me," Laxus rumbled. Natsu complied, still breathing shakily. "I'm strong, right? I can keep you safe?" Laxus put his hands out non-threateningly. "I can even carry you if you want. Nothing can hurt you when you're with us."

Natsu looked confused, and for a moment Freed was terrified that he was going to refuse. Instead, he sniffed, squeezed his eyes shut, and slowly nodded his head.

"Okay," Laxus said. "I'm gonna touch you now."

Laxus slipped an arm behind Natsu's back and Natsu tensed for a moment, then relaxed into Laxus' chest as he was lifted easily into the air.

"You're okay," Laxus murmured, gesturing down at his pocket to indicate for Freed to take the car keys. "We're gonna get you to the hospital."

~

"Natsu!" Gray burst into the ER, eyes red and looking exhausted. He immediately spotted Freed and made his way over, quieting when he realized that Natsu was asleep on Laxus' chest.

"He's okay," Freed said softly, standing up and pulling Gray into their arms. Gray slumped against them. "He didn't hurt himself. They triaged him and gave him something to calm him down."

He left out the part where Natsu had vehemently refused to take any medication from the nurse at first, and it had taken all of Freed's persuasive skills to convince him.

"We're waiting for the psychiatrist," Freed added. "They said he wasn't violent and we could wait out here." Gray trembled against Freed, fingers twisted tightly into their sweater. Freed kissed his head and pulled him tighter. "He's okay."

"I was so scared," Gray whispered, pulling back and rubbing his face. "I tried... I couldn't get here faster."

"It's okay," Freed said as Gray knelt down in front of Natsu.

"Hey, sweetheart," Gray murmured, taking Natsu's hand in his as Natsu stirred. He was curled up under Laxus' arm, and he opened his eyes slowly, blinking at Gray. "How're you feeling?"

"G-gray?" Natsu asked, confused. He sat up a little, glancing up at Laxus and then looking back to Gray. "What..." Natsu looked around, frowning, then noticed the hospital bracelet on his wrist. "Why are... wh-when..."

"It's okay," Gray said, reaching up and brushing Natsu's hair from his face. "You're gonna be okay. I'm here now, I'm sorry it took me so long."

Natsu's brow creased further in confusion, and Freed placed a gentle hand on Gray's shoulder.

"The nurse said that the medication might make him confused," they explained. Gray sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Whatever they gave him was pretty strong. He was... quite agitated by the time we got here. He talked about hearing people, and was convinced it wasn't safe here. That someone was trying to hurt him." Freed's chest tightened at the heartbroken expression on Gray's face. "They were concerned about him hurting himself."

"Câlice," Gray swore, then looked back up at Natsu's frightened expression and immediately shook his head. "It's okay, I'm not mad at you. I'm happy you're safe."

"Natsu, why don't you sit up and Gray can come sit here with you?" Laxus suggested, nudging Natsu gently and standing. Gray took Laxus' place, giving Laxus a grateful look.

"What's wrong?" Natsu asked, rubbing his face and staring at Gray. "I don't... there was..." He dropped his hands to his lap and frowned. "I don't feel good."

"I know, sweetheart," Gray murmured, pulling Natsu into his arms. He kissed Natsu's head, pressing his face into Natsu's hair. "I'm so proud of you for asking for help. You've been so brave and I love you so much."

Natsu made a small sound and pressed his face into Gray's shoulder, falling asleep again almost immediately. Gray sighed, slumping against the back of the chair.

"Fuck," he said again, rubbing a hand over his face. "I didn't think it was this bad. It happened so quickly." Freed and Laxus both settled back into their chairs, Freed resting their hand on Gray's knee. Gray clasped it gratefully. "He'd been sad- a bit depressed, and the psychiatrist gave him a new medication that seemed to help. He's never heard voices or been this paranoid before. Fuck, what if he'd hurt himself while I was gone?" He leaned his head against Natsu's.

"It's not your fault," Freed insisted. "And he didn't hurt himself, we got him here in time and they're going to help him." Gray nodded, sighing.

"I just don't understand the- the paranoia," he said after a moment. "And the hearing things. That's never happened before. It scares me." He ran a hand through his hair.

"Sometimes the world seems different when you're depressed like that," Laxus said quietly, rubbing at the scar on his wrist. "Makes sense to you but nobody else." Freed made a soft noise, reaching out for Laxus. He rarely spoke about his depression and attempted suicide. "He's terrified right now. We've gotta be strong for him."

"You're right," Gray said, giving Laxus an apologetic look. "I'm so sorry, I didn't think-" Laxus cut him off with a wave of his hand.

"I've known you long enough," he said, squeezing Freed's hand. "I wasn't well for a while either. My dad's nutty religious stuff really got to me and I thought I was hearing things too. It was bad enough to convince me it wasn't going to get better." He tapped his scar, avoiding everyone's gaze. "It was awful, and I didn't have anyone."

"Laxus," Freed said softly, running his fingers over the back of Laxus' hand. They'd heard this story before, just after they'd first met, but they were fairly certain that Laxus had never told anyone else.

"Natsu's lucky to have you," Laxus said roughly, rubbing his hand on his jeans. "He'll be okay."

"I hope so," Gray said, kissing the top of Natsu's head again and sighing. "I really hope so."

~

"So, you're committing him?"

"No, no, not at all." The psychiatrist – a woman named Sayla – leaned on the table and looked at Gray. "He's still capable of giving consent, and I couldn't commit him involuntarily if I wanted to. What I'm recommending is that he stay here, and that you are better situated to make that decision than he is."

Gray glanced into the adjoining room where Natsu sat with a nurse, struggling to answer a series of questions about where he was and what month they were in. Whatever drug they'd given him had clearly been quite potent. He had been very unwilling to be separated from Gray, but the sedative had allowed the nurses some leeway.

"How long would he be here?" Freed asked. They were sitting next to Gray, hand resting on his knee under the table. Laxus had gone off to find them something to eat from the cafeteria.

"We can't really say," Sayla replied. "At least a few days so we can sort out his medications. A mixed state can be very dangerous, as you've seen, and it's likely that he will continue to experience the delusions and confusion until we can bring him out of it."

"I just... I don't want to leave him alone," Gray said brokenly, rubbing his eyes with one hand. "Is he- can he understand what's happening? Wouldn't it be better for him to be somewhere familiar?"

"That's something to consider," Sayla said, tilting her head to the side. "But he needs to be on a twenty-four hour watch right now. I'm quite concerned that he's going to harm himself. He has a history of self-injurious behaviors, and one nearly-fatal suicide attempt in the last five years, in addition to being in a vulnerable state of a very serious psychiatric condition." She must have noticed Gray's crestfallen expression, because her tone immediately softened. "He's been doing wonderfully, and he's lucky to have a partner like you. But you can't do it all."

"Why don't I stay with you?" Freed said softly, squeezing Gray's knee. "I'll stay over at your place tonight and we can come back as soon as visiting hours start." Gray made a distressed noise and put his face in his hands.

"What if he doesn't understand?" he whispered, wiping at the tears on his face.

"He's fairly lucid right now," Sayla said, "but the medication is making him sleepy. I'd like to get him into a bed in the psychiatric wing as soon as possible. Did you want to speak with him and help him make a decision?"

Gray nodded, squeezing Freed's hand under the table. Sayla stood up and motioned for them to follow her.

"Hey, sweetheart," Gray said as the entered the room, crouching down and brushing Natsu's hair out of his face. Natsu's eyes were slightly unfocused, but it was clear that he recognized Gray.

"I'm tired," Natsu whispered, rubbing his eyes and leaning towards Gray. Gray wrapped his arms around Natsu, kissing his temple. "Do I have to stay?"

"I think so, yeah," Gray murmured, running his fingers through Natsu's hair. "They're gonna help you get your meds sorted out. Freed and I are gonna come back first thing in the morning, alright?" Freed could tell that Gray was struggling to keep his voice even.

"I'm scared," Natsu said quietly, burying his face in Gray's neck. "I d-don't know what's... s-some things seem r-real and then they're not." He clung tightly to Gray's sweater.

"I know, love, and that's why you should stay." Gray said, kissing Natsu's forehead and hugging him tightly. "You've been doing so well and you haven't hurt yourself in four years, and I want to make sure it stays that way." Natsu nodded miserably. "I have to go sign some papers for you, but Freed is gonna stay here, alright?"

Freed settled down on the chair next to the bed, reaching out and taking Natsu's hand. Gray rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms, then kissed Natsu again and let go of him.

Natsu examined Freed's fingernails carefully – they were sparkly green, courtesy of Sylvie last time they'd visited. "Thanks for helping," Natsu said quietly, squeezing his eyes shut as he cheeks flushed pink. "I d-don't..."

"We're always here for you," Freed said softly. "And you're going to be okay."

~

When they returned to Gray's apartment, Freed realized just how much they'd missed when they'd come to pick up Natsu. There were stacks of papers on the kitchen table with half thought out ideas scribbled on them, and the wall in the office was decorated with post-it notes that made no sense. The house was spotless, and Gray sighed as he pointed out that Natsu had re-arranged the kitchen cupboards again.

"He seemed okay when I left," Gray murmured, running his fingers over the post-it notes and starting to pull them off the wall. "How did I miss this?"

"It's not your fault," Freed said automatically, tugging him away from the wall and directing him towards the bedroom. "And it's late. Go to bed, you'll feel better once you've slept." Gray sighed, rubbing his eyes.

"Thank you," he murmured, reaching out and pulling Freed into a hug. "I'm so glad I have you guys. I just..." He dropped his forehead onto Freed's shoulder. "I wish I could have caught it sooner."

"You caught it soon enough," Freed replied. "He didn't hurt himself, and that's what's important. Now go to sleep before I carry you there myself." Gray snorted.

"What about you?" he asked, glancing over to the office where they kept a cot for Sylvie's sleepovers. Freed doubted they would fit on it.

"I'll sleep on the couch," they replied, and Gray shook his head sleepily.

"Don't be stupid, that thing isn't comfortable for sleeping," he grumbled. "Just sleep with me." He blinked a few times, frowning. "That sounded weird. You know what I meant." Freed laughed, turning Gray around and ushering him into the bedroom. He made his way over to the bed and fell onto it, face-first.

Freed dropped their bag onto the floor and shimmied out of their shirt, tugging their binder over their head and throwing it on the floor. Then they pulled their shirt back on and tugged their hair into a ponytail.

"I'm stealing sweatpants," they announced, which was met by a muffled grunt from Gray. Freed ruffled through Gray's drawers (or Natsu's, it was hard to tell them apart) until they found a satisfactory pair of pants. Then they slipped under the covers, feeling exhaustion pulling at them.

"C'mere," Freed said softly, tugging on Gray's arm until he grumbled and kicked off his jeans, then slid under the blankets and curled up next to Freed.

"He's gonna be okay, right?" Gray asked in a small voice, reaching out for Freed's hand. Freed took it and squeezed gently, watching Gray rub his eyes sleepily, then bury his face in the pillow.

"We'll take care of him," Freed said, not wanting to make promises they couldn't keep. "Now go to sleep."

Gray complied, breathing evening out almost instantly, fingers entwined with Freed's and a hopeful look on his face.

~

Natsu wasn't much more coherent the next day, or the day after that. The new mixture of drugs they had him on made him sleepy, irritable and confused, and every conversation they had with him had to be repeated several times before he remembered anything. By the third day of Natsu's hospital stay, Freed could tell that Gray was getting frustrated.

"You're taking a day off," Freed said, gesturing at Ultear and Sylvie, who had just walked into the hospital. "They're taking you home, and you're going to spend the afternoon watching Disney movies with your niece." Gray's face went through several expressions in a few seconds.

"But..." Gray started to protest, but Freed placed a hand on his arm.

"Gray, you haven't done anything but sit next to him in seventy-two hours. He's still not even sure where he is – go spend the afternoon with your family. Laxus and I will stay here and I'll text you the second something changes."

Gray sighed, rubbing his face. He looked terrible – dark circles under his eyes, messy hair, rumpled shirt and mismatched socks. Freed gave him a sympathetic look and hugged him tightly, feeling Gray sag against them.

"Thank you," Gray whispered, standing and feeling his pockets absently, as if looking for something.

"Uncle Gray! Freed!" Sylvie threw herself at Gray, hugging his legs tightly. Freed crouched down and let Sylvie wrap her arms around their neck. "You still have your nail polish!" She shouted excitedly, grabbing Freed's hand and inspecting her handiwork.

"And I've had many compliments on it," Freed replied, adjusting the young girl's barrettes. "Are you excited to watch movies with Uncle Gray today?" Gray gave them a half-hearted glare from above, but Freed just smiled at him. This was what he needed. They watched Gray move off to speak to Ultear close by.

"Is Uncle Natsu awake?" Sylvie asked, bouncing on the soles of her feet. Freed felt their chest ache – Natsu and Sylvie were incredibly close, and she had been heartbroken to hear that he was in the hospital. She hadn't been allowed to see him yet, since he was still in an area where children weren't allowed to visit.

"He is awake," Freed said gently. "He's just pretty confused right now, and really sleepy." Sylvie looked disappointed and Freed smiled at her. "Are you still making those bracelets?"

Sylvie grinned and nodded, holding up her arm to show a multitude of rainbow-colored woven bracelets on her wrist.

"Why don't you make one for Uncle Natsu so he can have it when he wakes up?" Her eyes lit up and she ran over to Gray, showing him her wrist. Gray knelt down and lifted her into his arms – not an easy feat now that she was seven – and kissed her cheek.

"Thank you," he said, turning to Freed and giving them a one-armed hug. They returned it, sighing against him.

"Take care of yourself," Freed murmured. "I'll text you if something comes up. See you tonight." Then they watched Gray, Ultear and Sylvie make their way out of the hospital.

Making their way back to the psychiatric wing of the hospital, Freed showed the attendant their visitor badge and passed through the doors. They almost at common area when they spotted Ryos leaning against the wall. Ryos looked up at Freed and smiled.

"Hey! They're kind of having a... survivor's meeting in there, I think." Ryos gestured behind him and Freed peered over his shoulder to see Natsu curled up in the corner of the couch, hoodie sleeves pulled down over his hands, one of which was being held by Sting. Laxus sat in a chair next to the couch and was talking to Natsu softly. "I figured I'd wait out here."

"Survivor's... you mean Sting...?" Freed frowned as they looked at Sting. He was so...young, only eighteen. Then again, Natsu had been younger when he'd attempted suicide.

"No, but he's self-harmed before," Ryos said sadly. "Especially when he first got diagnosed with epilepsy. The stress... and you know how he gets when he's anxious." Ryos gestured to a set of chairs on the other side of the hallway and they both sat down, sinking into the worn cushions. "Are you doing okay?"

"Tired," Freed admitted, yawning and stretching. They'd forgone the binder today, after accidentally wearing it for thirteen hours yesterday and regretting it. A sports bra, baggy t-shirt and a zip-up hoodie made today bearable. They nodded over to Natsu. "How was he when you talked to him?"

"Better, actually," Ryos replied, tucking his legs up under him on the chair. Pieces of dark hair escaped his messy bun and he pushed them back behind his ears. "He seems a bit more coherent today. I think he's just... embarrassed."

Freed nodded sadly. The two of them lapsed into a comfortable silence, and Freed could just overhear Laxus' deep voice.

"You didn't do anything wrong," he was saying. "Nobody's angry at you."

"Where's Gray?" Natsu asked quietly. Laxus sighed.

"Taking a nap," he replied, which wasn't far from the truth. Freed didn't regret sending Gray home – he needed to take care of himself. "Are you tired, too?"

"Lucy was here," Natsu said instead of answering. "And Cana. I think. Why is everything so... fuzzy?" He groaned in frustration.

"It's just the meds," Sting said gently. "Mine make me sleepy sometimes, too. Do you want to take a nap?"

Natsu made a sad sound and his voice shook when he whispered, "I want Gray. When can I go home?"

~

After nearly a week in the hospital, Sayla announced that Natsu was stable enough to return home. He'd been much more lucid over the past few days, but Sayla warned that he still might be confused and it would be best to keep him from work or even from large outings for the first while. The hospital was also going to be sending someone to check on him in a week.

"We can leave," Freed insisted, standing in the doorway to Gray and Natsu's apartment. Laxus leaned against the wall beside Freed, shoes still on. "You two can-"

"Stay?" Natsu asked, peering around the kitchen corner. He didn't make eye contact – still ashamed, no matter what anyone said to him – but his words sounded earnest. "Please? We can... I mean, it's not Saturday and Bix and Ever aren't here but... we could just watch a movie?"

"Of course," Laxus replied, toeing off his shoes and walking over to the kitchen. "Want some help making popcorn?" He gently guided Natsu away from the door, and Freed smiled at his retreating back.

"We got lucky, hey?" Gray said, playing with his wedding band while Freed removed their shoes and followed Gray into the living room. Freed nodded, settling down on the couch. Gray flopped down next to them, resting his head on their shoulder.

"We did," Freed replied, reaching up and gently stroking Gray's hair. "You've been amazing, Gray. I know this has been hard." Gray sighed, relaxing into the touch and closing his eyes.

"I don't think I'll make it through a movie," he admitted as the sound of the popcorn popper filled the air. "I'm exhausted."

"Then go to sleep," Freed murmured, leaning back into the couch and wrapping their arm around Gray. Gray made a soft noise, turning to cuddle up next to Freed, who smiled and kissed his forehead. "Go to sleep. I'm here. I've got you."