Camp is over and Freed is feeling wistful. Natsu and Freed have a heart to heart.

-----

Camp flew by in a blur of workshops, bonfires, singalongs, craft-making, swimming, counseling campers through several crises, and eating far too many s'mores. Freed spent their time floating between activities, making sure everything flowed smoothly. With the exception of Sting and Natsu's soccer match that ended with the ball hitting a hornet's nest, and the two teens who fell off the dock and needed to be rescued by Gray, the week went by as smoothly as Freed could have hoped.

On the final morning Freed was startled awake by the sound of heavy bass reverberating outside the cabin window. Music drifted in, loud and poppy.

"Ughhhh it's too early for... vwhatever that is," they grumbled, grabbing their phone from under their pillow and glancing at the numbers. 6:58 – two minutes before their alarm was set to go off.

"Never too early for Nicki Minaj," Natsu argued cheerfully. Freed looked over at him – he was sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling on his t-shirt and slipping his feet into his flip-flops. His hair was messy and he ran a hand through it, trying unsuccessfully to flatten it out. "Welcome to the final day." He grinned at Freed.

"How are you such a morning person?" Freed yawned, rubbing their face. Natsu laughed.

"I wasn't always," he admitted. "But Gray gets up at ungodly early o'clock to go swimming and I wanted him to teach me, and then it just kinda became a thing." He smiled, tipping his head to the side. "It's like... our time. We get to just enjoy each other before the world wakes up."

"That's the sappiest thing I've heard since your wedding vows," Freed teased.

"Yeah, well..." Natsu trailed off, smiling softly. Then he gave Freed a concerned look. "You were up late with Jace, hey?"

Freed nodded, sitting up in the bed and crossing their legs. Jace, a young trans boy in his first year at camp, had knocked on their door at two in the morning. He'd been in tears, worrying about his parents and going home. Freed had spent over an hour with him, listening to his fears and trying to give him some reassurance.

"You're good at that," Natsu said, voice gentle. "They listen to you. You make a huge difference in these kid's lives." Freed felt an embarrassed flush creeping up their neck and they ducked their head.

"Thank you," they said quietly. "I know it sounds dramatic but this place really saved me when I was younger." Natsu nodded understandingly, moving to sit next to Freed on their bed. He smelled like campfire smoke and coffee. "Meeting other people like me was amazing, and I want these kids to have the same experience."

"I'm glad we're friends," Natsu said suddenly, fidgeting a little. He looked slightly embarrassed. "I know your friendship means a lot to Gray, but I want you to know that I appreciate it too. You being my friend, I mean." Freed felt their lips curling up in a smile and they leaned against Natsu's shoulder. "Laxus too, even though he scared the crap outta me when I met him." Freed laughed.

"You're important to me, too," they said softly, letting Natsu wrap his arm around them. "And I hope this doesn't sound patronizing but you've been really brave this week." Natsu exhaled softly. He and Gray had spent nearly every afternoon in the pool with the campers, both shirtless and working through their fears. "The kids really look up to you. You inspire them."

"They inspire me, too," Natsu said softly, resting his cheek on top of Freed's head. They sat like that for a moment, then Natsu squeezed Freed's shoulder and stood up, rubbing his eyes. "Looks like there's a dance party I'm missing out there. See you at breakfast!"

As soon as Natsu left Freed groaned, flopping back down onto the bed and stretching. Their skin felt sticky from too much sunscreen and bug spray, and they were certain their hair looked horrifying.

They lay for a while, staring at the random carvings on the cabin ceiling – Bryce was here, J+S 4ever, Ashley sucks dicks. Freed snorted, then ran a hand over their face. They hadn't slept well. After talking Jace through his fears about his family and sending him back to his cabin, Freed had lain awake for a long time, thinking about their own parents.

They groaned, rolling over and shoving their face in the pillow. All week there had been little things, pieces of the days that wormed their way into Freed's mind and drew out thoughts of their family. Their estranged family, they supposed.

When Freed had been younger and had come to camp, the final day had always been the worst. They would watch the other campers get picked up by their parents, one by one, and their heart would break as they realized that their mom and dad would never come for them. Then Bix and Ever would pick them up, and Freed would have to hide their heartbreak the whole way home.

Sitting up slowly, Freed rubbed their face, then stood and began to collect their toiletries, shaking the thoughts from their mind. Their parents never came for them then, and they certainly weren't going to come now.

The shower in the staff cabin was tiny, dubiously clean, and had only lukewarm water, but Freed appreciated it nonetheless. They spent more time than necessary washing their hair, and by the time they made it down to the main lodge, breakfast was already being served.

"The kids stayed up until almost one in the morning," Gray complained as Freed slumped down across from him at the staff table. Gray was poking at his pancakes with his fork and yawning. Each staff took turns staying up with the campers after the evening bonfire, and last night it had been Gray and Sting. "I feel so old. Remember when we used to stay up that late? Now I'm usually in bed by ten thirty." He gave up on the food and crossed his arms on the table, burying his head in his sleeves.

"You're truly ancient," Freed teased. "How's breakfast?"

"Amazing," Natsu interrupted, plopping down next to Gray and kissing his cheek. "Hey, Snowflake. How's my grumpy husband this morning?"

"Mmf," was the only reply. Natsu laughed and ruffled Gray's hair affectionately, then turned to his plate. It was stacked high with not only pancakes, but bacon, sausage, and fruit. Freed had once teased Natsu about his voracious appetite, and he had taken the joke good-naturedly. However, Gray had approached Freed later and explained that Natsu had often gone without food when he was younger, especially before he and Gray had met and he had been homeless. After that, Freed hadn't mentioned it again.

A soft touch on their shoulder startled Freed out of their reverie and they glanced up to see Laxus standing over them. They smiled, pulling him down for a kiss.

"Thought you weren't getting here until this afternoon," they murmured, running their thumb over the stubble Laxus hadn't shaved. "Clean-up isn't until three."

"I know," Laxus replied, sliding down onto the bench beside Freed. He gave Natsu a nod and poked Gray, who made another unintelligible sound. "I just missed you," Laxus added, turning back to Freed. "And I figured you could probably use an extra set of hands to round up these kids."

Freed glanced around the room – they had tuned out the teen's noise, but the dining hall was a bit of a riot. The walls had been decorated with multicolored banners and posters, and the tables were still littered with craft supplies, including an unreasonable amount of glitter. Most of the kids were dressed in bright outfits, mismatched from the clothing swap.

The color was one thing, but the camaraderie was something else. Most of the teens had been strangers when they'd arrived, and now they linked arms and sat on each other's laps like they were best friends. Jokes were shouted across tables, and phone numbers were exchanged in permanent marker on the inside of each other's forearms. Freed was happy to see that Aspen was sitting with a group of kids who'd been enthusiastically learning ASL over the course of the week.

"I don't think we'll ever get the glitter out of the floor," Natsu remarked around a mouthful of pancakes. "Actually, I don't think it'll come off my skin. I'm going to be fabulous forever." He laughed as Gray yawned, snuggling closer to Natsu. "And now it's on your face."

"Mmf," Gray replied, reaching over and stealing Natsu's coffee. "T'es déjà fabuleux."

Natsu snorted, kissing the top of Gray's head. Freed noted the braided red bracelet around Natsu's left wrist – the kids had made them yesterday as a show of their solidarity and friendship. The first year they'd tried to make rainbow colored ones, but some of the kids hadn't felt safe taking them home. Red was a much safer color, and kept the memories close during the rest of the year.

"I'm proud of you," Laxus murmured, wrapping his arm around Freed. He looked around at the busy room and smiled. "And you should be proud of yourself."

"I hope..." Freed played with their own bracelet, nestled neatly beside the one Sylvie had made for them. "I wish it could always be like this. For all of them." Laxus didn't say anything, but grabbed Freed's hand, twining their fingers together. "I know for some of them, home isn't great."

"Yours wasn't either," Laxus said gently. "And look what you've become." The words were simple but pierced straight to Freed's heart, and they let out a breath they'd been unconsciously holding. "You did this. You gave them this place."

"You're going to make me cry," Freed whispered, tipping their head back and blinking rapidly. "I can't cry yet, camp doesn't end for another two hours."

"Oh, don't worry, I've already started." Natsu grinned at Freed, grabbing his coffee cup from Gray and taking a sip. He made a face and handed it back to his husband. "Aspen hugged me 'cause I signed to them – and hopefully I said it right and the interpreter wasn't messing with me – that I hoped they enjoyed camp." Freed laughed – Natsu was always a hugger. "Kinda lost it there, so..."

Freed sighed, knowing that those embraces were going to be difficult at the end of the day. Looking around the room once more, they turned back to their friends and gave a sad half-smile.

"Well," they said. "I guess we'd better get ready to say goodbye."

~

An enormous pile of sleeping bags, pillows, and duffel bags in front of the cabin told Freed that most of the kids had already packed up. Most of them were lounging around in the front area – an impromptu game of soccer had started in one corner that was being haphazardly refereed by Sting and Ryos. Another group were sitting in a circle listening to one of the campers play the guitar, and still more were lying on the grass, staring up at the cloudless blue sky.

Freed turned to see Natsu sitting on the porch with a palette of eyeshadow on the table in front of him, performing a complicated handshake with one of the kids. At the pride show last night, Natsu had been the one to help the kids with their makeup, and some of them had asked for him to do it again today to celebrate the end of camp.

Freed had watched with cautious interest for part of last night, wanting to approach Natsu but never actually doing so. Makeup had never been something they'd allowed themself to wear. It had always felt like a betrayal of their identity, an indication that they'd somehow been faking the non-binary thing all along because girls wore makeup. And then people would mess up their pronouns and make assumptions and it would be their fault because they looked like a girl.

But today they felt different. Maybe it was the energy of the week, or the pride they felt in watching the campers grow into themselves, or maybe Freed was just finally admitting that this was something they'd been thinking about a lot lately. Ignoring their misgivings, they approached Natsu and settled down into the vacant chair beside him.

"What's up?" Natsu asked, giving Freed a bright smile. Freed's heart warmed a little – Natsu hadn't smiled for such a long time after the fire. It had been so difficult to drag him out of the depression that had overtaken him after the accident. Seeing him here, so carefree, was heartening for Freed.

"Can you..." They shifted uncomfortably, remembering their reason for coming over. "I've never worn makeup." They picked at their cuticles, avoiding Natsu's gaze. "But... I want to try it? Maybe? And I thought..."

"Of course," Natsu said brightly, twirling a makeup brush in his hand. "Just the basics? Or bright and sparkly?" Freed had seen one of the campers earlier with a literal rainbow of colors on her eyelids, but that was too much for them. At least for now, anyway.

"Basic," they replied quietly, still uncertain.

"C'mere," Natsu said gently, reaching out and gently grasping Freed's chin. His nails were painted a sparkly purple that was chipped from afternoons in the pool. His own eyeliner was slightly smudged from the heat, a splash of green glitter at the outsides of his eyes. They were so brown. "Black eyeliner okay?" He asked after a moment, shuffling until he was sitting directly across from Freed.

"Mhmm," they replied, closing their eyes as Natsu brushed their hair out of their face and fastened it with a clip he pulled from the ponytail elastic on his wrist.

As Natsu began to brush something over Freed's face, they slowly relaxed into the gentle, practiced touches. Natsu's brow furrowed in concentration as he worked.

"You okay?" he asked after a few minutes. Freed blinked, realizing they had been daydreaming. They nodded, making an apologetic sound when Natsu grasped their chin more firmly to keep them from moving.

"Mm. Last day of camp is always hard," they said. Natsu nodded.

"I mean about this, though." He waved the makeup brush in front of Freed's face. They felt a blush creeping up their cheeks and sighed.

"I don't know," they admitted honestly. "I've never... it always felt like I couldn't. Like it wasn't right for me, that it would... invalidate my identity." They tried not to blink as Natsu pulled down their lower lid and brushed something over it.

"I sorta know what you mean," Natsu said softly, chewing on his bottom lip. "My foster parents would never buy anything, y'know, anything not 'for boys', so I couldn't experiment."

He switched from one brush to another – Freed had no idea what any of them were for – and started working on Freed's eyelid.

"I was maybe, I dunno, thirteen when I shoplifted some eyeshadow from the drugstore," Natsu continued. His cheeks turned pink with embarrassment. "But I loved it. And, of course, teenage boys are assholes and it ended with a split lip and a black eye, but it felt right."

"Gods, I'm sorry," Freed said, blinking a few times as Natsu drew back, admiring his work. He shrugged, setting down the brush and palette.

"It was..." Natsu looked up at the clear blue sky, collecting his thoughts. "When I moved in with Gray, I could finally just be who I wanted to be. Makeup, paint my nails..." he trailed off, exhaling noisily and looking at the ground next to Freed. "Sometimes more."

A charged silence hung between them. Freed felt like everything in their life had suddenly shifted, just an inch to the left, and they were walking blind like Bix, hitting their shins on everything. After a moment Natsu began speaking again.

"I'm not... I'm not like you, and I don't mean that in a bad way because you're amazing and brave and all good things." He finally made eye contact with Freed, smiling shyly. "I dunno why I never said anything before. I guess I just felt like... it didn't need to be said? I'm not, like, I don't want to change. Or anything. Just sometimes being a guy doesn't always fit."

"That's..." Freed trailed off, unsure of what to say. They'd never even considered than anyone in their group of friends could ever feel the way they did. For the briefest moment they felt a flash of frustration – all this time... if Natsu had said something earlier...

They shook the thought from their head. This was Natsu's story. "Thank you... for telling me."

Natsu laughed softly, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's not a big deal, really. I mean, Gray's always been cool about it obviously. I guess it's just been more..." He paused. "I notice it more lately? And again, not wanting to change, just feeling... not right with stuff sometimes."

"That makes perfect sense," Freed said, smiling. "Is there anything I – we – can do? To help?" Natsu tipped his head back and forth, considering.

"I don't think so, I've - I'm happy with pronouns and stuff." He glanced down at the button clipped to his belt that read Natsu, he/him. "Just saying it out loud to someone other than Gray... it feels good. Less like I have to keep it a secret."

"You never have to keep secrets with us - with me," Freed replied. "And I'm always here. Even if I don't know what I'm doing half the time." Natsu snorted.

"I think you do a pretty good job," he said, looking out over the campers. "You wanna see what it looks like?" Freed blinked in confusion for a moment before realizing that Natsu meant the makeup. They nodded hesitantly and he handed them a mirror.

They looked... good. Pretty. He'd highlighted their cheekbones and put something soft and gold-colored around the corners of their eyes, which were then outlined with black liner. Freed held the mirror further away from themself, tipping their head to the side and trying to work through the tangle of emotions in their stomach. Was 'pretty' okay?

"Looks like the first parents are here," Natsu said, pulling Freed out of their contemplation as he gestured to the red minivan bouncing down the gravel road. "You ready to wrap this up?"

"No," Freed admitted, handing the mirror back to Natsu. Maybe makeup hadn't been the best idea, since they were fairly certain they'd spend the next hour in tears. "No, I never am."

~

The campers were gone. Everyone had split up to their different areas around the camp, tidying up and getting things ready for them to head home as well. Freed stood on the hill overlooking the lake, clipboard held limply in their hands, heavy feeling sitting on their chest.

They'd been trying so hard to keep thoughts of their parents out of their mind this week, but for some reason, being here triggered something they couldn't explain. Now it was over and the feeling still sat there, eating away at them and making them feel like they couldn't breathe. End of camp was always hard, but this time...

Freed sighed, sitting down at the picnic table and dropping their clipboard. The lake was easily visible through the trees, water churning in the wake of someone's motorboat. Freed felt a warm pressure behind their eyes and shook their head, refusing to cry. They'd cried enough already today.

Footsteps behind them made them jump and they turned to see Gray making his way across the clearing. He seemed to sense Freed's melancholy mood, and didn't say anything as he settled in next to them. Freed dropped a head to Gray's shoulder as Gray wrapped an arm around them.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," Freed said eventually, voice soft. Gray didn't respond, just squeezed them tighter. The ache in Freed's chest expanded, growing and growing until they couldn't keep it in anymore. "I wanted them to come." They sighed, dropping their head into their hands. Did they mean now, or back then? "I want so badly for them to apologize, and I know they won't, and I just..."

"I'm sorry," Gray murmured, pulling Freed tighter against him. "Anything I can do?" Freed shook their head, pushing their hair out of their face again.

Gray sat up and gestured for Freed to lean forward so he could move to sit on the picnic table behind them. Once there, he pulled the elastic from Freed's braid and began to comb his fingers through their hair. Freed sighed in contentment, leaning their head back and closing their eyes.

"I wish I didn't miss them," they admitted eventually, once Gray had combed the tangles from their hair and began to pull it into an intricate French braid. Freed played with the hem of their shorts, sighing. "I know they're not good people, but I want them to love me anyway."

"I think that's normal," Gray replied, nudging for Freed to tilt their head to the side. "No matter what they've done, you still feel something for them because they're family?" Freed hummed.

"Laxus still talks to his dad sometimes," they said, stomach twisting uncomfortably at the memory of the last time they'd seen the man. Rancid breath, hands on Freed's wrist, broken phone, pain. They shuddered. "Not often. And he hates him, but..."

"Mmm." Gray's fingers flew through the threads of Freed's hair, twisting and weaving it carefully. He tugged a bobby pin from where it was pinned to his sleeve – courtesy of Ryos – and tucked one part of the braid up so he could work on the other half. "I wish us loving you could be enough." He made a frustrated sound, shaking his head. "That's not what I meant, sorry."

"It's okay," Freed said, silently agreeing with him.

"I mean that I wish that us, all of us here, all the things you've done and the people you've helped, and the friends you've made... I wish that was enough to fill those holes." Gray pulled down the first braid and began twining it with the second, working his way down to the ends of Freed's hair. "I know it's not, but I wish it was. We all love you."

"I know," Freed whispered, resting their hand on Gray's calf and squeezing. "It is, some days." Gray tugged the elastic from his wrist and wrapped it around the end of the braid, tipping Freed's head forward to admire his handiwork. Then he slid off the bench and stood in front of Freed, tugging them to their feet.

"Why don't we go see if Natsu needs help?" He said gently. Just then, Freed's radio flared to life with a loud crackle.

"Freed, you there?" It was Sting.

"Yep, I'm up by the lake, what's up?" There was a long pause before Sting replied.

"You, uh, should come down to the cabin." Freed frowned, looking over at Gray. Was someone hurt? Sting cleared this throat, then added, "Your brother's here."

-----

French Translations

T'es déjà fabuleux = You're already fabulous