Note: Pasensya na po sa delay. I said na sinimulan ko itong Critique shop kasi bored ako. Pero mukhang nadinig ata ng mga nilalang sa ilalim ng lupa ang sinabi ko, at bigla nalang ay sandamakmak na gawaiin ang humarap sa akin (sad).

And as I've always said, I won't sugarcoat, but I may sandwich.

Title: This Love Is Golden
Author: aryanpel
Genre: Romance

Cover:

Sa totoo lang ayaw ko talagang isali sa pag-critique ang cover ng inyong mga libro, kasi wala po talaga akong sense of art. But sa point po na ito ay mayroon lamang po akong kaunting komento sa paraan ng iyong pagsulat ng titulo sa iyong pabalat.

The are three core rules in capitalizing a book title.

Rule 1:

Always capitalize the first and last word of a title, no matter what the word is.

Rule 2:

Always capitalize the following five word categories:

Nouns
Pronouns
Verbs
Adjectives
Adverbs

Rule 3:

Always capitalize words of five or more letters, regardless of whether the word falls into one of the aforementioned five categories.

This pertains to articles, coordinating conjunctions and prepositions. However, if the things mentioned above, only has less than five words, it should not be capitalized—not unless it is in the ending of or the beginning of the title.

(Here is the link of the source:
https://www.grammarcheck.net/capitalization-in-titles-101/ )

Now let's take the title in your cover as an example:

this love is golden

- the word this in your title serves as a pronoun, love is a noun, is is a linking verb and golden is an adjective. Therefore, following rule #2, these words should be written in capital letters.

So the correct format should be;

This Love Is Golden

Another example:

into the woods

Into, as we know, is a preposition with less than five words (check rule 3). However, it is placed at the beginning of the sentence, and rule #1 says, that regardless of whatever it is, it should be capitalized.

On the other hand, the is a definite article, with less than five letters and is not in either at the end or the beginning of the sentence; therefore, rule #3 says, it should not be capitalized.

So the correct format of writing it should be:

Into the Woods

Ngunit tama naman ang ginawa mo sa parteng ito:

Title

I can clearly see the connection between the title and the story. Although personally, it's not a title that catches my attention, but perhaps that is because I'm not really a fan of romance books (due to traumatic circumstances lol).

Prologue

I was right between the pages when I actually forgot that I am reading a prologue. Akala ko talaga chapter one na ang binabasa ko kasi karugtong lang sya ng unang kabanata

And so warning; what comes next is a lengthy explanation.

What is the purpose of a prologue? Or what does it do? Note: before proceeding, anyone who read this may comment down their own understanding of it and let us check if you guys are correct. And as I've said, personal understanding, not google understanding, so don't use google.

==> The first duty of a prologue is to supply information that is vital to the plot. However, every single chapter of a story does that. So what makes a prologue different from the rest of the chapters? (you may give your own understanding again)

There are four major types of prologue; the future protagonist, past protagonist, different POV, and background.

It'll take a lot of time to explain it bit by bit,  so for everyone's sake, I am explaining it by giving book examples. That way, it won't be long and at the same time, it will be way more easier to understand.

Also I am putting a link here where you can get a more thorough explanation. ( https://www.writing-world.com/fiction/prologue.shtml )

• Future Protagonist Prologue

Sa kasamaang palad, wala po akong mahanap na libro mula sa mga collection ko na gumagamit ng future protagonist na prologue. Kaya naman, gagamitin ko na lamang pong halimbawa ang sarili kong kwento na, The Girl with the Saddest Smile.

Note: Gusto ko lang po na ipaalam na hindi ko po pino-promote ang kwentong ito, dahil ito po ay gawa ko noong ako ay musmos pa at wala pang alam, charot. Ako na po mismo ang magsasabi na pangit ito at wag nyo nang subukang puntahan.

So the story is about the life journey of Jovan and Save, and the prologue is set during the time when Save no longer exist, thus the entire story was like a flashback. This is a bad story, but a good example of a future protagonist type of prologue—since a future protagonist is set after the entire plot is established.

•Past Protagonist Prologue

Ang magiging halimbawa natin dito ay ang Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Walang prologue ang Harry Potter, but its chapter 1 is considered as one. Ang nangyari kasi, mostly, hindi binabasa ng mga readers ang prologue ng kwento at tumatalon sila sa chapter 1. Dahil 'don nagdesisyon si J.K. Rowling na gawin na lamang chapter 1 ang pag-iwan kay Harry sa mga Dursley, instead na gawin itong prologue para sigurado syang babasahin ito ng mga mambabasa, since malaki ang kahalagahan nito sa buong kwento.

But this is a great example of past protagonist, because the chapter 1 of Harry Potter talks about the reason why Harry came to be famous, and why he had to be left with the Dursley's, which pretty much shaped Harry's character. And that's what past protagonist type of prologue does, it's kind of an explanation of why a character came to be.

•Different POV Prologue

The law of different POV prologue is that you must always use third person POV even if your are using first person POV in the entire novel. An example of this is the book Unrest by Wendy Higgins.

She used third person POV in her prologue and explored the deepest desire of the main character that gives off a vibe that catches the readers attention. Then, she put the main character in charge throughout the rest of the book.

But that's all that a different POV prologue can do. Out of all the prologue, I think it is the most flexible as it may be set in the past or the future, and can let reader be aware of things that the main character may not be aware of—giving the story more thrills if used well.

•Background Prologue

This kind of prologue is normally used when writing Sci-Fi or fantasy novels, where things happen in worlds unknown to the readers—so writers use this to give certain explanation.

The best example for this would be; The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R Tolkien. In the prologue he gave description about the Hobbits, the dwarves and other things, so that people may have an idea about these fictional things that they have zero knowledge about, once they read the chapters of the book.

Now let us go back to your own prologue. Ang problema kasi sa prologo ng kwento mo, sa sinabi ko na, mas nagmumukha itong chapter 1 kaysa prologo. Your prologue does not fit in any of those types of prologue written above.

But I'm it's not saying that it's bad, or it should be changed or revised. However, all I am saying that it's better if you just make it a chapter 1 rather let it remain as a prologue. After all, hindi naman talaga necessary na may prologo ang isang kwento. (diba ang taas ng explanation ko ito lang pala ang gusto kong sabihin, lol)

Anyways, it's best to be aware about these kind of things for future purposes.

Pacing

Hindi ko na po tatalakayin ang plot at mga characters ng kwento, since they are written well. Dulce's push and pull character is something I've seen from people that are truly in love. Iyong tipo na masasaktan 'kuno' tapos susuko, tapos aayaw, pero babalik ulit at balik na naman sa cycle. So it's a thumbs up.

Okay, punta na tayo sa pacing.

Slow paced ang kwento. Out of 19 chapters I can only name 2 super major happenings; their break up, and Raphael's change of heart.

Wala namang masama sa slow paced na kwento, kaso lang, this style is prone to chapter jumping. Dahil nga wala naman kasi syang masyadong ganap, kahit tumalon ka pa ng ilang kabanata, maiintindihan mo parin ang kwento. I understand the effort given on a chapter when writing. It takes hours and requires a lot of brain cells, that is why I am pointing this out.

And I've read about what you said, that another critique told you about the trouble regarding emotion connection with the characters.

I was thinking, there isn't really a problem with the way you write. You actually have a talent for writing things vividly. However, I also noticed that even though the writing is good, there are still times when I feel detached from your work.

Alam mo iyong pakiramdam na pagdating mo sa kalagitnaan, wala ka nang nararamdman? Pero wala namang pinagbago sa paraan ng pagkakasulat mo. It's still the same.

So I realized that maybe it isn't because of the writing, but the pacing.  It's probably because it was so uneventful that halfway through, my brain starts going somewhere else.

But perhaps it's just me being so used to fast-paced books, na naninibago ako sa ganitong pacing. And I'm pretty sure there people that would love to read slow-paced books.

Grammar and Technicalities

There aren't that much to talk about here. Although mayroon nga'ng mga typo's, but it does not affect the entire book that much. Siguro careful lang tayo sa mga redundant words as they are quite the mood breakers.

Additional Note:

This book is plot-wise, and I would very much like to commend the bed scene. The bed scene in this book is what you call a novel quality bed scene. Kadalasan kasi sa mga bed scene ng mga librong sinusulat ngayon ay porn like. So seeing bed scenes like this is a rarity for me.

Keep writing and reading more. And I'm actually truly rooting for you rise as one of the best romance writer here in our country (skl).

Rating: 3.2 of 5