He couldn't breathe. He was hyperventilating. He needed to... He couldn't...

"Boss, the suit is transferring to autopilot. Take a deep breath. Col. Rhodes will be waiting for you when you arrive."

The words barely registered. It took everything within him to just breathe. He wanted nothing more than to be out of the suit. He struggled against it, but it remained firmly around him.

"Just take deep breaths, Boss."

But he couldn't. Air wasn't filling his lungs property.

After what seemed like an eternity, Iron Man landed on solid ground. The suit opened and Tony fell out.

Rhodey was there to catch him.

"Hey, its okay man, it's okay."

Tony heard the slight whir of his friend's exoskeleton as he took a step back.

That was his fault too.

Lurching away, he fell to his knees, grabbing the plastic trashcan beside his desk. He emptied his stomach into the container.

"Tony," a hand was laid on his back, "I need you to breathe for me, okay?"

He glanced up, but his eyes found their way to his desk. Then they fell on the phone.

Fighting against the full body tremors, he rose to his feet and practically lunged at the desk. His hand closed around the phone tightly before he gave an enraged shout and hurled the phone against the far wall. Taken over by a sudden fit of rage, he started knocking things off of his desk. He slammed them onto the floor, against the wall, and just generally knocked his hands against the desk.

When the workspace was empty, he turned away, hands yanking at his scalp.

Rhodey gently grabbed both of his wrists and worked them out of his hair. Slowly, the billionaire was set down in his office chair. His head was pushed between his knees, his hands pressed against something solid. His friend kneeled in front of him.

"Now, just breathe with me, Tony. That's right, breathe. Okay, now I want you to count with me. One,"

Tony could feel Rhodey's chest rising under his hands. He tried to mimic it, but found only a slimmer of oxygen entering.

"Two,"

The process repeated up to twenty and then back down.

The panic and rage faded away to be replaced with broken sobbing. Tony slid to the floor, leaning his face into Rhodey's shoulder. Strong hands embraced him as he allowed the tears to fall.

"I-I couldn't... I nev-never w-wanted... 'S my f-fault."

"Hey, it's okay Tones. Everythings going to be okay."

It wasn't. Nothing was going to be okay. "'S my fault."

"It's not your fault, Tony. Hey, hey, look at me."

He slowly raised his head to meet Rhodey's eyes. "It's not your fault."

Tony shook his head almost desperately. "You don-don't kn-know."

"No, I don't. But I'll be here whenever you're ready to tell me. Until then, you need to calm down."

He needed to tell him. He couldn't. What would Rhodey think? He had even more blood on his hands. He already had so much! But this was different. This was his... Friend.

"H-he's dead." It was choked out, his tears barely under control.

The colonel gave him an appraising look. "Who."

"He's dead and that's not the worst part." It wasn't, it never would be.

"Tony, what happened."

"S-Steve, Cap, he-he's dead."

A look of shock flashed across Rhodes' face. "Tony, I need you to stay calm, okay? Stay calm and tell me what happened."

"It's my fault!"

"How is it your fault, Tony? Did you and Steve fight again? Did you kill Steve?"

Tony continued to shake his head, "H-he k-killed himself. Sh-shot himself."

Rhodey's mouth opened slightly. "When did, when did this happen?"

"I dunno. Hour maybe? Called me and, and, apologized and, and the gun went off and there was nothing I could do! I went, s-saw it. S-Sam w-was r-right, my f-fault." He was shaking so bad his teeth were clacking together.

"You saw Sam? Where are they at?"

"B-Brooklyn,"

"Tony, stay here. I'm serious, okay? Don't leave this room. I'll be right back. Stay here."

Tony barely noticed when Rhodey left.
~A~

Tony Stark deserves all the love in the world.

I finished writing this. There will be two more chapters.

Let me know what you think!

I really loved writing this one <3

God bless,
Jamie