This is not directed at anyone personally and I am no means vaguing. I want to just speak my opinion on a conflict that happens on this site and to people it may be considered petty and to others a call for pity and possibly a vent of sorts. You may skip this because as I said it won't be up for long as a majority of my things with words do. Readers who are senitive to topics such as self harm and suicide and mental health I advise you to leave and if you're just going to get worked up over me I also advise you to leave. This is a rant and souly a rant with some art.

"Toby stop posting vents"
i like how they come out art wise
"why dont u get help"
i have reached out and got help but guess whats fucked up
the mental health system when it comes to minors
"u just want pity"
pity is a stupid fucking concept to me and i will never appericate people belittling me as a human due to how i react to situations. i may be a kid but ive seen shit and i may not know what everything is but i know what some shit is
"but ur 13 y-"
Anyone can have mental illness. I have seen an eight year in a mental faculty because he attempted to hang himself. You have no idea how devasting it is to see young children in the same state that you are and it's so shocking to see how young we are and how damaged we already are. It's not a call of attention. Theres been kids who are sad and scared and angry since the beginning of time and no one can doubt that.

Bullied kids grow to be insecure and feel a sense of unworthness and anxiety. Kids who are bullies have self esstem issues themselves and tend to bash their anger on other people. Kids who cut don't do it all the time for attention and want attention drawn to their arms for people to say sorry and gave an ego boost. Even if they're doing it for attention I doubt they're normal. If anyone is willing to mutilate their skin there is something mentally wrong.
I post my emotions sometimes because I personally do not know how to handle things. I don't know how to get out of these ruts and I have no idea how to help myself. How do I stop purging? How do I stop myself from hurting myself and how do I keep myself away from relasping? How do you cope with death?
I know it's stupid--its a public platform for young teens, but at this point I am willing for anything. I don't know how to handle things and it's hard to go on when everyone you relied on is giving up on you, yknow?
Does everyone on this site have mental illness? Probably not.
But even so I don't think it's alright to bash someone for just posting a small vent or rant about life.
Is it okay to fake suicide? Fuck no.
Is it okay to fake quitting? Fuck no.
Is it okay to post chapters with drama that's personal to share to the world, sending whiteknights? Fuck no.
Is it okay to harass people over drama? Fuck no.

Theres a difference between posting a vent chapter once in a while and posting a suicide note every week.

And yes, sometimes kids fake mental illness. Have I? No. I have reached out about everything wrong with me and all I have done. Am I proud? No. Do I blame it on other people? NO

With things such as depression and pyshocis and anxiety people always assume online that kids are Tumblr faggots for doing what they do but that isn't the case all the time. Not everyone is a self dx cisphobic hetrophobic trigender fuck. Some kids genually suffer from mental illness day in and day out and sometimes blog about it to relieve stress. It's what's so wonderful about this site--you can meet people who relate and you can both help eachother hand in hand with your issues. It may not be best advice but it's better than nothing.

Will I stop venting? Hopefully soon. Hopefully I will get help and I will be happy and I won't have all the issues I have three years from now. I hope I look down at my 13 year old self and chuckle, scrolling through my phone and just laughing.

I hope I grow up and I hope I become what I want to become and I hope that I realize that what I cried over was silly and I become at least happy

And I hope you all too.
A message from yours truly
Pinecone.