Demi

My heart hurt as Nicko turned away from me and stared out at the view again. I had hurt him last night more than he had ever hurt me. I lashed out and exploited every weakness I knew he had. I played on his rage issues, trying to pick a fight, and like he said, broken him. Our relationship will never be the same and we both knew it.

There didn't mean like there was anything I could say so I just laced our fingers together and kissed his bruised knuckles, "I know you think that, but it couldn't be farther from the truth."

He flexed his jaw, "I think I want to be alone right now if you don't mind."

I sighed and stood up, picking up Mia's carrier as I walked back inside. It was all I could do to not break down but my daughter innocently playing her toes stopped me. I just laid on the couch with her on my chest, smiling as she played with a lock of my hair. I was such an idiot, throwing all of this away for a meeting with Wilmer. That's what started it all. I betrayed Nicko's trust with that action alone. I needed to do something big to make it up to him somehow.

~*Nicko*~

When Demi went inside the bands around my chest loosened and I could finally breath again. I wanted to forget this whole thing ever happened but I couldn't, her words were embedded into my brain. I didn't know how to move past this. Eventually, when I thought enough time had passed that Demi had left with Mia, I walked inside but was surprised by her sitting on the couch, phone pressed to her ear watching Mia playing on the floor. She hadn't seen me yet, so I paused and listened as she spoke.

"He's going to leave me Mar. I can feel it. He hates me you should've seen the way he was looking at me... How am I supposed to do that? I can't function without him!"

She was crying hard, but my feelings of guilt were turned off. Why should I feel guilty?

"He's not going to go to couple's counseling Marissa it would be a waste to even ask him."

I sighed and walked over to her, plucking the phone out of her hand as she watched me with wide eyes, "Sorry Marissa she'll have to call you back." I said, the hung up and leaned close to her, "I don't want you spreading our business around. It's you and I here. Not you Marissa and me. That being said, I don't hate you. I love you Demi, this is just a hard thing to deal with. I'm not going to leave you. If I was, I would be gone by now. I can't function without you either. Counseling is an option that I'm not opposed to discussing. I actually think it'd be good for us."

Demi's lower lip quivered and she swallowed hard, "Do you promise?"

I sat down and pulled her into my chest, "Yes, I promise. I love you Demi, nothing is going to change that."

She kissed my neck and ran a hand through my hair, "Can you do something for me?"

I looked down at her, our faces so close our noses kept touching, "Anything."

Demi stroked my cheek, "Can you kiss me? You haven't kissed me since we were in the shower three days ago. It's driving me insane."

I smiled slightly and leaned in, pressing our lips together gently, deepening the kiss as I felt her arch her back to press her body against mine. Mia giggled then, bringing us back to reality, and I pulled away, leaning my forehead against Demi's, "How was that?"

She smiled, "Surprisingly satisfying."

~*~

"So, Nicko why don't you go ahead and tell me why you think you two are here?"

I took a deep breath and leaned forward, trying to explain myself to Demi's therapist, Dr. Reardon. "I guess it's because Demi and I have some big issues in our relationship, but we want to make it work."

She nodded, "Let's start off with this. Is there anything you guys would like to get off your chest? It could be a secret that you've been hiding from the other that you didn't know how to tell the other? It's best to get those out of the way so we can start with a clean slate."

Demi's lower lip jutted out, "I don't know if I have huge things that I kept from him like that. I guess... I don't know. I really don't have anything huge that I feel guilty about."

I stared at my hands, knowing exactly what I needed to say, but it was so hard to put it to words.

Dr. Reardon looked at me, speaking softly. "What about you Nicko?"

I sighed and glanced at Demi who looked outright terrified at my expression. "I don't know if this will help or hurt."

Demi licked her lips nervously. "Just say it."

I closed my eyes and hung my head. "Do you remember that video a while back? Of me drunk in a bar with those girls?"

She sighed and nodded. "As much as I've tried to block it out of my mind, yes."

I rubbed my hands down my legs. "That video was fake. The visual was a scene in my movie that got cut and never aired. Originally it said 'Man fuck them and fuck their ass.' But someone got ahold of it and edited it to show me saying your name."

Demi blinked a few times. "It wasn't real?"

I shook my head. "Not at all."

She shook her head. "But why did you act like it was? Why did you let me break up with you and leave with Mia for months?"

He took a deep breath. "I... I don't know really. I was just having so many doubts about you deserving better than me and I wanted to see if you'd be better off without... me."

Tears began to fall down Demi's cheeks and she slapped my shoulder hard, "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

I winced and rubbed my face. "Believe me. It's one of the biggest regrets of my life. You getting hurt by Chris was my fault. It happened because of me. I'm the reason we broke up. I didn't fight for you because I believed you would be better off without me and I wanted to see if I was right. If it wasn't for me you wouldn't of had to go through that."

Demi shook her head. "After all this time you still think that? After everything we've done and been through together you still think that?"

I bit my lip. "I don't know if I think that anymore. There are times when we're fighting that I think your life would be easier if you never met me."

Demi shook her head and Dr. Reardon stood up. "I think I'll give you two time to talk. Ten minutes, then I'll come back in."

She left and Demi grabbed my face in her hands, bringing it to hers so she could kiss me. When we separated she kept her forehead pressed against mine. "Nicko Baker. You're an idiot." She whispered, and pulled back. "If you weren't in my life I would probably be six feet under. I would probably still be being abused by Wilmer. I wouldn't be the happiest I've ever been. I would never feel so loved." She stroked my cheek. "I wouldn't have a beautiful daughter to love and cherish and watch her grow. My life would quite literally suck without you."

I smiled and kissed her again. "Those thoughts went way down after the whole Chris thing happened but I've felt so guilty this whole time because it's my fault."

Demi shook her head. "Nik, Chris made the decision to hit me. Chris did that. Not you. It is not your fault. Please baby, don't feel guilty for that."

I spread my hand over her cheek. "I'm sorry."

She put her hand over mine. "It's okay. I forgive you."

I leaned in and kissed her again, and we kept our lips together until there was a knock on the door.

"Come on in." I called out and Demi bit her lip, clearly wishing we weren't in a therapist's office right now.

"So... how'd it go?" Dr. Reardon asked, smiling as both of us sat there.

Demi put her hand on my leg and leaned into me. "I think we're gonna be okay."

I kissed her head and nodded. "Maybe a few more sessions but I don't see a break up in our future."

Demi not-so-subtly drummed the ring finger on her left hand against her chin, smiling at me innocently.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "One day soon."

"It better be soon." She laughed. "I'm not getting any younger!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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-Rachel