Chapter 56

*Six months later*

Chris and I have been dating for a while now, and Nicko and I have a good friendship now. We haven't kissed since that night, and Chris trusts me a lot to be around Nicko. He's told me that he loves me, but I can't find the words to tell him that I can't love him and love Nicko at the same time. He makes me happy, and he makes me feel good, but it doesn't compare to the way Nicko and I were. He doesn't make me weak at the knees with just a goofy smile. He doesn't turn my stomach to mush when he kisses my neck. He doesn't love me the way Nicko loves me.

Nicko is protective over Mia when Chris is around her. He always wants to be around when Chris is with me and her. I know he's scared, that Mia will start to think that Chris is her dad, since he's the one who's holding my hand and kissing my cheek, but I know that will never happen. Mia's face lights up when she see's Nicko and she can't get enough of him. Chris is lucky to get five minutes of her in his arms before she starts wailing.

It didn't start going South until Nicko left for Canada for a movie he was shooting. Chris started spending the night even when I asked him not to, always complaining that he was tired. I didn't want him sleeping in the same bed as me, even though he usually ended up there, his ears deaf to my protests. I remember one night I had playfully tried to push him off but he had grabbed my ankle with enough force to leave bruises the next day. "Don't try that again." He had whispered, so cold that it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I didn't dare protest the next night when he went to sleep with me.

One night, when Mia was fast asleep, Chris came into my bed, and he was naked. He was kissing on my neck and his hand rubbing down between my legs. I was too afraid to tell him to stop so I let him, and soon my clothes were gone too and we had sex the first time in our relationship. He finished within five minutes and rolled off of me, going to sleep immediately.

A couple weeks after Nicko left, Chris brought up the idea of moving into his place.

"I can't I have Mia and all of her stuff. I don't like the idea of moving her environment like that. Besides, we're close to Nicko if I need him."

"Nicko? You need Nicko? Are you fucking kidding me?" He grabbed my neck and pushed me against the wall, his fingers tightening, "You don't need Nicko." He whispered, his eyes wild as he stared at me, "I'm the only one that you need. You don't need anyone else."

"Can't you just move in here?" I tried to reason with him, "I want you here with me."

He finally let go of my throat, "Well alright."

And so he moved in.

~*~

Six days before Nicko came home, Chris hit me for the first time. We had been screaming at each other for a long time, and I told him to get out of my house. Unexpectantly, my cheek burned red, and he once again held me by my throat, "You don't talk to me like that bitch." He bellowed, "I own you! I own your ass! You don't tell me to get out!"

I began nodding, hitting his hands feebly, "Okay! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"Damn right you're fucking sorry." He whispered, "Now get your ass upstairs and get naked so I can fuck this attitude out of you."

He was worse than Wilmer, mentally and physically degrading me. At least Wilmer had his moments of love, all I saw in Chris' eyes was cold, hard hatred.

Thankfully, he never hit me or yelled in front of Mia. It was always when she was out with my mom, or when she was fast asleep would be slap me around. I know I should've gotten out of there, called my family or Nicko, but I was stuck. I couldn't leave his trap.

I got better at hiding bruises.

Two days before Nicko got home he threw my down the stairs, and everyone believed I fell because of my history of being a klutz. Yet, one nurse, at the hospital, must've seen the cold stare in Chris' eyes, because I saw her warily watching me, never letting Chris and I be alone together until we left.

~*~

The day Nicko came home, Chris told me he didn't want Nicko in his house. He texted Nicko that I didn't want to see him, and that Mia had, for the best, started calling Chris dada. It sickened me, but I couldn't do anything to stop him. I couldn't understand the power he had over me. It only took a few hours after that text sent to have Nicko banging loudly on the front door.

"Go answer it." Chris told me calmly, and I obediently stood up, walking past the mirror quickly to make sure everything was covered, and opened the door.

"You can't do this." Nicko said pleadingly, "You can't take Mia away from me. Just please, let her see me. She'll know who I am. Please Demi. I need her, I need both of you."

I shook my head, "I'm sorry Nicko, but you need to leave."

"No." He whispered, the noise coming out like a whimper, "Please Demi, I need you. I love you."

I shut the door in his face, leaning against it and taking a deep breath.

"Good girl." I jumped and turned around, smiling hesitantly at Chris, "Now come with me, Mia will be waking up soon and I miss that ass."

~*~

Three days after Nicko got home, and Mia was staying with my mom, Chris got drunk. He sat on the couch and drank an entire bottle of liquor. I was too afraid to take it away from him. He called me into the living room and made me sit on the floor at his feet.

"Tell me you love me."

I blinked, "What?"

My cheek burned as his hand flashed, "Tell me, you love me."

I opened my mouth, "I-I...I can't."

His hand flashed again; more pain.

"Yes you can. Say the words."

"I can't, I don't."

"You don't love me?" His voice was deadly calm, which scared me even more, "You don't love me? After all I've done for you? After all i've done for Mia? I've raised her like my own daughter. I moved into this miserable apartment, and you don't love me?"

I whimpered and slowly began crawling away, "Please don't hurt me."

And empty bottle hit my back and I wrapped my hand around the nose of it, just in case. He had never been this drunk before.

"Hurt you? Baby don't you understand? You deserve this. I'm only trying to give you what you deserve."

"No." I whispered, standing up as he too stood, "Don't, please."

"This is for your own good." He said, nodding his head as he walked towards me, pinning me against the wall, "This is your fault." He pressed his body against mine and I raised the bottle up behind him, "No one will ever love you as much as I do. That's why I'm doing this."

"You're wrong." I whispered.

He pulled back a bit, "What?"

CRASH. The bottle shattered over his head and I shoved his body away from me, running to grab my keys and a scarf. I barely had time to grab my phone and a couple other important things before peeling away. I barely had to pay attention to the road as I drove the familiar route to Nicko's house. I just hoped he could forgive me for what I said to him, for what I did to him.

His gate code still hadn't changed, and I was glad Chris didn't know it. He didn't even know where Nicko lived. I jumped out of my car and rushed to the door, banging on it for a long time.

"I'm coming!" Came his voice.

"Nicko it's me!" I called, and heard silence, "Please let me in. You promised."

"I kept all of my promises to you Demi."

I swallowed hard, "You told me if he ever hurt me, to come to you."

The door swung open so fast I had to blink a couple times before I looked up and met his gaze, "What are you talking about?"

I took a deep breath, and slowly undid my scarf, pulling it away from my skin where you could see multiple handprints on my neck. Nicko's mouth dropped open for a few seconds, before he snapped into action, pulling me inside.

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