(Before getting onto the chapter I just wanted to say I hope everyone in Texas and Flordia is holding up alright. LGBTQ+ rights 🏳️‍🌈)

~Night's POV~

I portal-ed a little ways away from the Malus in case he was already here waiting, I didn't want to accidentally scare him. Not that it could've been anyone other than me. There were only three remaining people in this multiverse who had access to this place. Me, Dream, and now Cross. It's been sealed and blocked to anybody else.

It was currently nighttime, the same exact time it was the last time I came here. Time didn't pass here anymore unless someone was currently inside this broken, decrepit universe. I took a deep breath before continuing through the dead forest I was in. There were barely any leaves on the dark trees, and if there were they were dried and yellowed. Several of the trees had been uprooted or slashed down, while others only carried scars from the horrible fight.

A shiver ran up my spine as I gazed at a tree that was barely hanging onto its rigidity. I remembered attacking that tree so long ago, the newly formed tentacles not yet strong enough to take it down. I shook my head and pressed onward without looking at anymore carnage, my eyes focused entirely on the ground. The grass wasn't in a much better shape, overgrown yet still dry. You could see my footprints left behind as I walked through. 

Finally I caught a glimpse of the clearing where it resided, 'the Malus'. It was a code name that corrupt-me and Cross had come up with whenever we wanted to meet up here. 'Malus' referred to the genus for apple trees- it was fitting for the stump of the tree me and Dream protected. I know that this stump had a real name, but it was lost on me now. Sad, wasn't it? I can't even remember my own creator's name.

As I got closer, my view of the area expanded. Ah, he was already here.

Sitting on the edge of the stump was Cross, sitting slumped forward as he looked off into the distance. He was messing with the hem of his scarf, previous memories emerged of him doing that while he was nervous. It was... cute. He hadn't noticed me yet, despite me now standing clearly at the edge of the tree line. 

Maybe this was a bad idea. I shouldn't of been as impulsive as I was when I made that portal. I probably made Y/n worried over my abrupt exit... but no, I had see what Cross wanted. That's the only reason I'm here, right? Definitely. No other reasons at all. That's what I'll keep telling myself.

I took a silent deep breath and knocked on the side of a tree I was next to. It seemed like it had echoed across the entirety of Dreamtale (why was the universe named over just him anyway?). Cross flinched and stood up immediately, straight as a board. Our eyes met.

Complete and total silence between us. The only thing I could hear was my pounding SOUL as it threatened to burst out of its confines. It was clear neither of us knew what to say. After several more beats of silence, Cross sat back down but was still holding eye contact. Did he want me to sit with him? I felt my SOUL race faster at the thought. 

Like he could read my mind, he pat the spot next to him. I took a shaky breath and made my way over with only slight hesitance. The logical part of me was screaming it's skull off. This is a mistake. You shouldn't be here. But my emotional side was... something else entirely. In an attempt to compromise the two, I sat down next to Cross but kept a bit of distance.

(no idea why i felt compelled to draw this scene in particular. is it sad to draw fanart of your own story?)

I could tell he was looking at me, but I couldn't look back at him. I was... scared of what I might see, to be honest. Was he going to be angry at me? For transforming back into my current self? Would he not like what he sees...? I cursed myself for that last thought. Get a grip on yourself, Night. You're the embodiment of everyone's negative emotions, not some blush-y school girl.

"I take it that Y/n gave you my message?" Cross finally spoke up, his voice sounded hoarse. How long had he been out here?

"I wouldn't think about ever coming here again if she hadn't." I answered truthfully. This place was full of too many bad memories. The bullying, the loneliness... the deaths.

"Unfortunately this seemed to be the only place no one would come looking for us."

I felt a chill go up my spine and I took a slow scoot away from him, "And why did you want me here alone?" I finally made eye contact with him.

Both of his eyes were white, an incredibly rare thing to occur from him. That meant X-Chara wasn't there with him... Upon seeing my creeping skepticism, he quickly tried to correct himself. 

"That came out wrong. I, uhm," Cross swept a hand over his skull and I could sense rising anxiety within him. Again, it was rare I could feel a thing from him. He was a master over his own emotions. "I... missed you."

I blinked at him, letting that information sink its way into my skull. I was trying to hold back my own blush, as a small one went over Cross' face. He had missed me? No. No that wasn't right. I needed to put a stop to this.

"You don't even know me." It hurt to say, but it was true.

"Of course I do. We spent all that time together, you do remember it don't you?" He asked me with a hint of confusion.

"Those aren't my memories. Look at me, Cross. I'm not who you're thinking I am." I choked back my own feelings on the matter. Truth be told, I wanted him to think I was still him. But I wasn't and I never will be. I don't ever want to be confused with that monster again.

Cross stared deeply into my face, taking in every inch. The blush I was suppressing was crawling across my cheeks as I looked into his features. His eyes were glowing beautifully in the dark, like the stars that shone up ahead. The stars in his eyes were ones that he used to touch. That red blush was caused by him. Why was I feeling jealous?

I flinched when Cross put a hand to my cheek and unfortunately I felt myself leaning into it. "You look the same to me. Your appearance is different, sure, but nothing else has changed."

I shut my eyes and forced myself to slap Cross' hand away. "Don't compare me to him. We are not the same person nor were we ever." I took a deep inhale, "It was a mistake to come here..."

I was standing up to leave when Cross grabbed my hand to stop me in my tracks, but didn't pull me back down with him. "Wait... please."

Looking back at him, those starry eyes were begging me not to go. His hand felt so warm in mine. I couldn't just leave him now. It wouldn't hurt to give him a little more closure, right? I kicked myself in the head as I sat back down. Cross didn't seem like he was going to let go of my hand unless I made him. I really didn't want to, but I couldn't lead him on either. I pulled my hand out of his and felt the regrettable cold take it over again.

"What else can I tell you, Cross? I'm not the man you told 'I love you' to. That man has been reduced to memories that live in my mind without permission." I shook my head as more of said memories were coming to light. The first time Cross told him that he loved him, the first time they kissed... their first time.

"Then give me the chance to get to know the new you." I was surprised to hear him say that. He just wasn't getting it was he?

"I'm a new person entirely. I am not that monster who killed innocents to fuel his own power. I am not that demon who hurt people for his own amusement... I-I'm not." I was choking on my own words at the end as I felt a few tears spill unwillingly down. I covered my face in my hands, hoping that Cross wouldn't see.

A hand came up to my shoulder. I couldn't bring myself to push it away like I had with the other physical contact. It was like he was spreading warmth into my entire body. All of my instincts were begging me to just crawl back to him. I shook my head physically this time. I couldn't be having these thoughts. They were dangerous.

"You're right. You aren't that monster. You're the part of him who didn't hate everybody. You're the part of him that held some amount of compassion. You're the part of him... that kept me loving him despite all of the abuse."

My breath caught in my throat as I turned to look at him. His fluster was burning brightly across his zygomatic and maxilla bones. Was this really happening? I couldn't have dreams so it must be.

"It's true, isn't it?" He questioned me after I couldn't muster a response. I looked back towards the ground as I thought about it. I was wracking my mind for his memories, unlike what I've been trying to do before. The time their first kiss happened... there was an emotion there. That emotion shouldn't of been there. Affection. Corrupted me wasn't capable of feeling a positive emotion, not unless it was a fucked up version of it. But yet, it was all over these memories. Them cuddling on the couch when everyone else was asleep, them whispering each other sweet nothings... had a part of me been there that whole time? Is that why I still felt the same affection for Cross?

I made eye contact with him once again, by my expression he already knew that it was true. "This is dangerous, Cross. We can't do whatever you're thinking."

"I was afraid you'd say that. No one would have to know." Cross' hand that was on my shoulder got bold. It trailed slowly down towards my waist, making me almost choke on air. I instantly swatted it away, that was too much for my taste.

"I'm not talking about for other people's sake. I may have had a small influence in corrupt me, but that doesn't mean you know the whole me. Not to even mention what you did to Y/n."

"I needed those access codes, what did you want me to do? Torture people for them? That was my only other option, Night. No one in this goddamn multiverse would've given them willingly. Hardly anybody even knows how." I could feel anger starting to bubble up inside of Cross as he got defensive.

"Of course I wouldn't of wanted you to do that. That's something he would've done. But maybe if you explained what you even need them for, maybe one of us could've helped you out. Unless, of course, you know that thing is wrong and you're doing it anyway."

"You don't remember what I'm after, do you?"

"Well... not all of his memories have returned yet. For better or for worse."

"It was the whole reason I sided with him in the first place. You'll know soon anyway so I suppose it doesn't hurt to tell you now. I'm surprised Ink hasn't connected the dots already but I suppose he has a poor memory as well," Cross was anxiously tapping his foot against the stump. "Corrupted you told me that he could get my universe back. All that he asked for in return was my help with gaining him power. Ink had told me that he couldn't bring it back, so I had no one else to turn to. Who wouldn't of took that offer when given that choice or die inside a broken universe?"

As he spoke, the memory of those events were playing in my mind. "So you wanted the access codes to break off pieces of code inside those universes? To destroy parts of their world?"

"It sounds bad when you put it like that. I figured there would be a way to fix a bit of missing code."

"Once it's gone, it's gone. Cross, what you're hoping to do is just make a false imitation of your old universe right?"

"It won't be an imitation, all the codes in alternate universes tie back to one another."

"So you want to potentially ruin universes forever to live what's going to be a false life?"

"Night, be careful what you're saying."

"Are you not listening to what you're putting down? It's nonsense, Cross. I completely understand why you want your old life back but-"

"No, you don't understand."

I stood up from my seat and gestured wildly around, "Cross do you even see where we are?! This is the state of my home! Do you have any idea how badly I wish I could reverse time? But that isn't possible, so do you know what I did? I moved forward. I'm happy where I am now... I'm not asking you to not miss your universe, I'm just asking you to see what the future could be."

Cross didn't say anything, he wasn't looking at me anymore. I could feel more and more anger building up within him and I knew I probably went too far.

"I'm sorry, Cross. I just... I don't like seeing people hurting. Not anymore."

"I won't be hurting when my universe is back." And with that, he disappeared with a blip.

~~~

(oops i think i forgot this was an x reader)