Please believe me, Val is a man with the capability of thought, a broken moral compass and trying to stabilize himself in the most unorthodox of ways.

Val Winter.

I wasn't proud of who I'd become, I wasn't anything to be proud of honestly, I'd become the very thing most people hated and or feared, I had made a jagged road for myself when I decided to leave everything I knew behind because I was too foolish to realize that it took a lot of humility, dignity and love to be an alpha, to be a father, a friend, to be human, I thought I needed to be the strongest, the most dominant in the room to command everyone else so no one looked down on me, the little fears of a boy who didn't know the real world.

Xander loved me, I realize that, he'd given all of himself to me and I broke him, because I couldn't handle not being good enough, he was a beta born but stronger than any wolf our age, like now everyone compares him to his older brother Jude, even I can't bring myself to hate Jude, or even challenge him, he'd break me. Back then —in my stupidity I had challenged Jude though, wanting to prove to my father that I could be a great alpha, like what he saw in Xander, or in Jude himself since Jude took over the pack but had no actual tie to the alpha family, just the Niles.

Ofcourse Jude never went through with my challenge, conserve what little dignity you have now, his words exactly and a searing pain engulfed me then, I was unconscious for two days, I learnt my lesson then, some wolves aren't to be challenged, but having experienced it, it gave me a sense of humiliation still, I felt Jude wanted to make an example of me in the most humiliating of ways, so I set out to hurt him but like always, the Niles live a charmed life and nomatter how much I'd try I couldn't hurt any of them, of my true rival Xander, until I realized he had fallen in love with me, I finally had a way, at first it was all fake, I didn't love Xander, he was just a means to an end, I would find his weakness with my false love and hurt him, little did I know, in trying to be fake, I fell in love with him, Xander, —he was attentive, gentle, easygoing, blindly loyal, gave me everything and truly made me feel like I mattered, he didn't dominate our relationship he gave me room to explore to feel him as he felt me, but the Goddess in her crafty ways had made it impossible for Xander to be submissive enough to conceive, but not me, I conceived.

I was angry at first, confided in my mother about how I felt and she convinced me to take what had been given to be as a blessing, I honestly did, I took what I had been given as a blessing and every one especially Xander, was supportive, Xavier his father confirmed that we were mates, even before we actually found out and that solidified my father's plans, Xander would be alpha and I, would lead by his side, oh how my rage came boiling to the surface, just because I had been the one to conceive I was the one to be submissive and watch as Xander took my right. A foolish thought, but at the time, it didn't seem so.

In my fury, I aborted our child, my greatest mistake and regret, broke Xander's heart when I told him the truth, I could see the pain flicker in his eyes when I confessed even now that day haunts me, and my stupid idea to abort our child, I should've been happy to bring a life into the world that had that man's blood, he's the most kind and caring man I knew, despite all that I've done, all that he's been through, you'd think being kidnapped, finding solace in a woman who later conceives his child and then their captor threatens both him and the child after he's killed the mother, he would be bitter and resentful, no— just the opposite, he grew even more so kind, and I admire his strength despite my hate.

I left, my father found me, what he found wasn't what he hoped I'd be, and his two options were laid on the table, ofcourse to keep on with my bad decision streak I chose not to come home and fell into even deeper trouble, which by no means anyone else's fault but mine, I did bad things, trying to ride out my high, show my father my rebellion and show him I didn't need him, but behind the curtains, in the shadows, I cried, cried for home and everyone because I missed them, but with all that I had done, would they accept me back, would my own father accept me back. One night on a bar table, I met an alpha, and that's when my life truly took a turn, I'd just shook the hands of a devil.

He offered me a home, a place by his side and protection from the hunters that were tracking me, he was everything I yearned for, he became my obsession in his sweet seduction, whatever he wanted, I would've done so with ease, whatever he demanded I'd make sure he'd get through my unique skill set acquired from brutal training with Jude. It was later that he introduced me to his mate, of course she wasn't his actual mate, that one had been killed by hunters apparently, his mate made me open up again, opened my eyes to the brutality of what I was doing, she made me love again, that's when our secret affair began, and also the revelation of the wolves that were held captive not only by the alpha but by hunters who worked with the alpha, Elina his mate explained to me that the supposed hunters that were tracking me when the alpha approached me were actually in cahoots with him, an agreement they had made. My eyes were opened, I had been enticed with honey, now the vinegar was setting in.

I made up a way to escape, begged Elina to come with me but she was fearful that the alpha would hunt us down and kill us, she didn't want that for her baby, —our baby, affairs are like that, she had conceived my child, I was clearly excited, happy go lucky again, and I had hope until I realized another truth, the wolves the alpha and hunters were keeping were related to Xander and the Niles and also that if the alpha knew about Elina's child, he'd claim the child for himself, despite his obvious devotion to me, he still held on to Elina in a more possessive way, she was his trophy. So I made another stupid decision, I challenged the alpha and discreetly helped the captured pack of wolves, if I killed the alpha they would protect me and Elina, or if my plan didn't work, and they still escaped they would find a way to the Hollow Creek, and that would still be beneficial for me.

I lost the challenge, I had been too over confident, I had thought I was too smart to be found out but the alpha had been a step ahead of me, he knew about me and Elina, he knew I came from the Hollow Creek and because of my treacherous ways he set his sights on my home pack, on the night before my execution a group of captured wolves escaped, in the commotion, Elina helped me escape aswell, made me promise not to come back, she begged me to run far and fast which she would do aswell and if she was safe she would tell me. I had no choice, I ran, but without anywhere to truly go, I came back home, where the air and trees were familiar, where everything inside me yearned to be but it wasn't the same place anymore, the people, the pack, it had all changed since the years past after I left, the Hollow Creek boasted power and status, something the alpha I knew wasn't anticipating, and what I wanted for myself.

So I sit here, on one of the highest peaks of the mountains that stretch due north of SandBury, no longer town but city, the vibration in my pocket catches my attention, the unknown number alarms me but Elina had called from a burner phone previously to let me know she was in St Maine and safe, so I assumed it was her. "Hello." I subtly muttered and a gruff guttural sound came through from the other line. "My dear Valentino, it's so good to hear your voice again, did you truly think you could escape me." His voice came through, and my whole being shivered and my hair stood on end, a non existent cold shiver coursing through me. "How did you find me?" I demanded and a ruckus of chuckles echoed on the other side. "You could only run to one place pet, and I followed you, do they know what you've done my pet, the countless blood baths you've created, do they know you want to use them to save your own skin, —I guess not, —pet, listen carefully, I want you to convince your little pack to stand down or the next time I attack, I won't be merciful, as for you, I'll give you a little incentive." He exclaimed as my anger and fear entwined to create something I couldn't describe.

"Val, don't do it, —Val!" Elina's voice came through the line and that's when my whole being deflated, they had her. "Elina!" I screamed into my phone but it was of no use. "Don't fret sweet little pet, she and the baby are just fine, just do as told and you'll be reunited again." He stated softly, as if he were assuring that nothing bad would happen to Elina, our child or me, but I knew better as the call ended and all I could do was stand overlooking the city in hopelessness, I knew Xander was currently on a mission to destroy the alpha, the specifics I didn't know, but now I had to, if to distract his plans mostly because if I didn't Elina would die, I would die and I needed the pack to help me, but they'd never do so willingly, I suspect they knew who I was already, what would I do.

+++

Here's Val, it came out better than I thought honestly.

Saint Jay.