I wake up in a bed.

My arms stretch up out from under a huge comforter, high above my head, and my hands knock against a wooden headboard. My eyes feel heavy, but I force them open and sit up. The pillow behind me has an indent from where my face was, and I want to just fall back down and sleep for a little more.

Wait, pillow? A bed?

Last night's events come rushing back.

The phone call.

Drunk Liam.

The cold.

Radiator Liam.

My futile effort to find Advil.

Sleeping Liam.

The unpenetrable lock.

Dreaming Liam.

That accursed couch.

Liam's past self in the midst of fulfilling his libido. Or so I presume.

And lastly, the fluffy rug.

But...how did I end up in a bed? Where am I?

Scared, I glance down. And scream.

I'm not wearing my own clothes.

Frantically, I stand up and look at myself fully. I'm wearing black sweats and a baggy t-shirt.

Oh, wait.

Oh, right.

These are Elliott's.

My heart calms down.

I slide my hand into the pocket of Elliott's sweats and find my phone. The time blinks up at me like a slap in the face: 2 p.m.

No wonder my limbs feel heavy and weak, I've been sleeping for nearly 12 hours!

But where am I?

That question is answered when the door flies open.

I scream again and chuck my phone at the intruder. A bad idea, considering I have horrid aim. Lucky for me, I think God hears my screams, because my phone smacks my offender in the face, and he stumbles out of the room.

"What the fuck, Diamond?!"

Hey, I know that voice!

It's significantly less slurred, yes, but has the same amount of stupid I'm used to. I peer out of the room, into the hallway, where a man is sitting, rubbing his eye. I bite my lip, trying not to laugh.

"Oh. Good morning, Liam."

"Good afternoon, Diamond." Liam frowns up at me. He runs his fingers through his fiery hair, which burns on the top of his head, nearly the same color as his neck and chest.

Ah yes, the strange neck blushing-

Wait, neck, and what now?

He stands, looking me over, and asks, "Are you okay? I heard a scream."

I don't process his words. I'm still staring at his body.

And what a body it is.

Liam has sharp collarbones that lead to broad, well-rounded shoulders. His skin glistens with a sheen of sweat, and his pale skin boasts a chiseled chest that tapers down to a narrower waist. He's wearing shorts that hang low on his hips, and I catch a glimpse of a defined V-line.

I pull my eyes back up before Liam sees that they are most definitely not where they belong, and notice the mess of little freckles littered all over his torso. The light brown spots create mini-constellations on his abdomen, and some naive, childish part of me wants to reach out and touch them.

No! Bad Diamond! Stop thinking that!

Liam stares at me confused, reminding me that I still haven't replied to what he said. What did he say again?

It doesn't matter.

"Liam, wear a shirt!"

And of course, in true Liam fashion, a smirk overcomes his features. He steps closer, holding himself up with a hand on the doorframe, as he leans down to me. If he's trying to make me aware of how short I am, it's working.

"Don't you like what you see?" he breathes against my nose. His breath smells sweet and tropical, mixed in with the faded mintiness of toothpaste. It's so fresh, so different from Tom's.

I shake my head to clear it of these stupid thoughts and challenge his stare, "Absolutely not. Are you still drunk?"

"Last I remember, I found you passed out on the carpet this morning. Did you even see the couch beside you?"

My blood boils.

I've forgotten all about the muscles and sweat and freckles that made me uncomfortable, and glare into dark ocean eyes. "That thing you call a couch is an insult to furniture," I seeth. "And just so you know, I wouldn't have to sleep on the floor if you had let me out of this place!"

Liam's eyes narrow distastefully. "Women love that couch."

Did he ignore the second thing I said?

He tilts his head to the side. "Or maybe they love what we do on the couch," he muses.

Yep.

"You're gross, please shut up."

"Oh shit, does your boyfriend only fuck you into the bed? The downsides to being in a relationship, eh? You all become so boring," Liam rolls his eyes, oblivious to the impact of the words he's said.

My boyfriend. Tom.

I don't lie when I say I feel new cracks breaking into my heart.

Everything around me disappears, and once again, I'm stuck with that one thought: Tom. Oh, Tom. I love you, Tom.

I manage to mumble, "I need to go."

Liam, ignorant as ever, simply laughs and walks away.

I'm in a daze as I watch him leave, but promptly regain my wits and follow after him. "Hey, wait!"

I catch up to Liam as he goes inside his bedroom. Just as I open my mouth though, he shuts the door in my face.

Like any other person, I bang on the door. "Liam, get out of there! You have to let me out, I need to leave!"

"Calm down, I can't drive you home like this," he drawls. "Unless you'd like to stay with me a little longer, because then I'll just remove the rest of my clothes."

I gape at the door in front of me in horror. Did he just -

Yes. Yes, he did.

I'm about to protest when he says, "Seriously though, I insist. I'll take you home. Don't argue, Diamond."

My hands close into fists and I storm down the stairs. Hopefully, he can control his tongue better in the car. Otherwise, I won't be able to stop myself from pulling it right out.

I'll just look out the window and pretend that instead of Liam, it's my non-existent chauffeur.

***************************

My plan doesn't work.

I try my best to avoid any sort of conversation with the moron beside me, humming indifferently whenever he pauses his prattling to ask for my opinion on something. But when he turns the radio on to some God-awful American country music and refuses to change it, I snap.

I last maybe for maybe ten, long minutes of torture before I give in, "Oh my God, please turn that noise off!"

"So are you gonna talk now?"

He did this to annoy me into talking to him?

And it worked. Damn him, it worked.

"Liam, the second I get out of this car, I am going to kill you. Turn the radio off now."

He doesn't tear his gaze away from the road, but his hand reaches out to fiddle with the dial.

The music cuts off - if I could call it music, to begin with, that is. I'm so relieved that I'm willing to say that the awkward silence that falls upon us is comforting.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Liam parting his lips, but this time, I beat him to it, "No. I don't want to talk. You are just driving me home."

Liam's shoulders slump. I hear him sigh deeply before readjusting his grip on the wheel.

He doesn't talk the rest of the way.

Thank God.

***************************

Liam pulls into my driveway beside my vacant car.

Twenty-four hours ago, I was right here, staring at the same yellow door, blue shutters, and red roses that grow in all directions. The only difference now is that I can't bring myself to call this place home anymore.

Tom was home.

His name echoes in my head.Tom. Tom. Tom.

Memories flit before my eyes.

The way Tom's eyes light up when he laughs. The way Tom's lips turn up in a smile when he kisses me goodnight. The feeling of Tom's arms around me as he hugs me. The soft tone of Tom's voice when he says he loves me.

My breath hitches as my mind replays the scene that broke my heart, that broke me.

It was all a lie. Tom lied.

It's getting harder to breathe. My throat's closing up and I can feel the tears forming behind my eyes. On my left, the car door slams shut.

I'm gasping for air when Liam opens my door. I look over to see him kneeling by my side; but when his eyes meet mine, red hair darkens to black and blue eyes bleed to green.

I launch myself into his arms.

"Tom. Oh, Tom. I love you, Tom," I cry. "Why, Tom?"

And Tom holds me in his arms, still kneeling by the door, letting me bury my face into his shoulder as he rubs circles on my back.

***************************

After a while, I lose the energy to sob. There's a slight tremor in my shoulders as the tears continue to fall down my face silently.

A rough voice curses out, "Fuck this. This isn't okay."

The man whose arms I am in pulls away. I'm pushed back into my seat gently, and my door closes.

My mind is muddled. Liam became Tom; Tom is now Liam. I don't understand.

And to top it all off, these damn tears won't stop!

I hide my face behind my hands, pressing down on my eyelids, hoping that these salty nuisances stop soon. The car starts and I jolt forward, but something keeps me in place.

My seatbelt was buckled for me?

The ride is almost as quiet as it was coming here, the silence only broken by my periodic sniffling.

My arms are tired, but I don't lower them. My voice is hoarse, but I keep muttering to myself: Why?

A fifth of my life.

Five years.

Sixty months.

Over 200 weeks, almost 2000 days.

And countless "I love you"s.

Why?

***************************

The car stops.

I peek out from behind my hands when Liam's door closes and a loud beep sounds; he's locked me in the car and left.

An overwhelming sense of embarrassment overcomes me as I messily wipe my face clear of tears. I completely lost my mind in front of Liam. I don't even want to imagine how he's judging me right now.

I thought he was Tom.

I hugged him.

Oh God, I threw myself at Liam! How could I let myself go like this?

I'm mortified.

Instinct kicks in and I try to escape. Fortunately, I remember that I've been locked in this car before I tug on the door and set off the car alarm. I fall back into the seat and nervously pull at the ends of my hair.

What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?

I'm in a parking lot. I recognize where we are - a complex about 15 minutes away from my hom-

house.

I don't know where Liam is, or why he's brought me here. What I do know is that I need to leave as soon as he comes back.

Now that I have more control over myself, I'm growing apprehensive of Liam's reaction to my behavior.

What's more, is that Tom is still spinning through my mind. Every time I blink, for the split-second that my eyes are closed, his face is all I see.

This, combined with the added problem of Liam, is making me anxious and flustered

How am I going to resolve this?

We're both adults here, I reason with myself. Maybe I can convince Liam to forget what happened, and we'll agree to never make eye-contact ever again.

Yes. That will work.

Why am I lying to myself? That won't work.

Knowing Liam, he'll hold this over my head; his signature smug expression will never leave his face. I can already hear his taunts, the thought itself is making me feel small.

I'm... scared.

I haven't been this vulnerable in so long. I haven't felt this alone.

Friends have always been a rarity in my life - I had Papa and Mumma, I didn't need anyone else - but now, I want a friend.

The one friend I had was-

The door opens.

Liam slides in with a small paper bag in hand. He pushes it into the backseat and turns to me, "Good, you stopped crying."

I don't know what to say. I need to go.

"I... I need to go." My voice is so quiet, I can barely hear it. I try again, "Liam, I- I'm sorry. I, uh... I don't... I'll just get down here, I'm sorry for..."

What am I saying?

My eyes dart between the lock on the door and my fidgeting fingers. Liam hasn't said anything, and I can't bring myself to look into his eyes - or anywhere else in his vicinity, really. Uneasiness bubbles in my stomach and crawls up my throat.

I flex my trembling hands, trying to gather any ounce of courage that may remain in my veins, "I'm sorry. I-I don't know what happened to me. What I did was wrong. I'm sorry for... for coming onto you like that. Just let me lea-"

"Shut up already, that's bullshit." Liam's voice is hard and cold, and I shrink away from him. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please don't hurt me. "I'm not leaving you here - or anyplace else. We're going back home."

Huh?

Liam presses a button, and with a low hum, the car starts.

***************************

I finally raise my eyes from my lap when I notice Liam driving up a familiar driveway. Liam's mansion looms ahead, its grandeur only amplified by the evening sunlight.

I turn to Liam and see him glancing at me. But as soon as our eyes meet, his jerk away and stare ahead. His look of concentration melts into a scowl, and I gulp.

Liam parks in front of a glass garage (because, of course, like everything else in his house, he keeps his expensive cars on display too) and storms out of the car after grabbing the bag in the back.

Heart in throat, I watch him leave me for the second time today. I sit still, unsure as to whether I'm supposed to go after him when-

Liam whirls around, an exasperated expression on his face, "Are you coming?"

Oh. Uh, okay.

I get out of the car, stumbling on wobbly knees, and follow the sound of his shoes against the marble floors, to his bedroom. Cautiously, I step in.

Liam's room is empty, the door to his bathroom ajar. The splashing of water greets me as I peek in; Liam's hunched over his tub, his back to me. I shouldn't be in here. Liam straightens, and I back away from the door, not wanting to be caught.

I hear a loud huff before the door swings open. Liam stands tall, his face set in what I'm beginning to believe might just be a permanent glare. He reaches out a hand and I can't help but flinch. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please don't hurt me.

"Diamond," a soft voice calls out.

I open my eyes hesitantly - I didn't even realize that I'd closed them - and see Liam standing with his hands at his sides.

"I prepared a bath... for you," he says, looking over his shoulder at the steam rising from the tub. "Uh, just kinda soak away your worries or something, eh?"

Why would I do that? Does he... want me to do something with hi-

"I'm going out to get food, so you don't have to worry about me being here," Liam continues, interrupting a train of thought that would have left me with nightmares. "Listen, I'm not used to having women over for more than the one thing so I don't really know what I'm doing. But my mom likes this stuff, so I thought you might too," he trails off, his neck a vivid red.

Liam slips past me, still talking, "I've been craving Mediterranean for a while now, but I can get something else if you're not feeling Mediterranean tonight."

I raise an eyebrow in confusion. What is he going on about? At this point, I'm not sure if it was me or him who's lost their mind.

"You're divided? Alright, I'll get Mediterranean anyway. I think you'll like it."

And with that, Liam walks out of the bathroom.

***************************

A door shuts loudly, the noise reverberating throughout the entire home. It shocks me out of my stupor.

Liam's gone.

I know I should be questioning everything that's happened today - especially Liam's unusual behavior - but the sweet scent of roses and vanilla wraps around me, warping my senses. All rational thought leaves me as I strip my clothes, folding them in a neat pile on the bathroom counter, and sink into the bath.

It's a big tub; I could float on my back comfortably if I wanted to.

So I do.

The warm water laps against my knees and my hair drifts away from my face in a radial pattern. I trace one of the many rubies lining the sides of the tub as my mind drifts off...

I'd spent the day at my parents' house, coming home long after dark.

It was only when I had walked into the house that I remembered that I hadn't told Tom where I was, or that I was going to come home late.

I had found him sitting at the kitchen island, pushing around some leftovers that he'd warmed up for dinner. I'd had dinner with Papa and Mumma. I sat down next to Tom. "Hey," I said.

"You didn't think to call me? Or text?" Tom's voice was harsh, but when he looked up at me, there was something else flickering in his eyes.

I took it as worry. I didn't know any better at the time.

"I'm sorry, Tom," I told him, touched that he cared about my safety - or so I had thought. "I'm okay, I just spent the day with my parents."

"I don't care about if you're okay or not - you clearly came home alive, didn't you?" He spat at me. "I came home early today, but you weren't here. Since when did your parents become more important than me? I don't want you going there without me anymore; we can go together."

I couldn't understand what Tom was saying. "They're my parents, Tom. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you where I was, but I also don't need your permission to see them!"

Tom didn't mean to hurt me.

No, it was just the beers that he'd drank that night - it was their fault. Tom was just frustrated, and he took it out on the plate, slamming it down on the counter.

He didn't mean for it to break. He didn't mean for the shards to cut into my skin. He didn't mean for it to scar.

I'm drowning...

Literally.

I gasp for air when my head breaks the surface of the water. The warm tears on my cheeks contrast with the coolness of the water around me.

My head's above water now, so why does it feel like I still can't breathe?

I stand and reach for one of the robes Liam left out and step out of the tub, wrapping it around me carefully. My eyes go down to the two thin, white lines on the side of my wrist and I brush my fingers over them.

That was so long ago, Diamond, I reason with my panicky mind. The relationship was new for the both of you, Tom had every right to be a little insecure!

He was the one who patched you up - and it's not like he didn't apologize, I remind myself, as I stuff my clothes into a small bag I found. And nothing like that ever happened again. Tom even refused to get drunk after that day.

"I'm fine," I whisper to no one. "I'm okay."

And I am. I just hadn't realized that that memory remained somewhere in the back recesses of my mind. It just... surprised me, that's all.

Right? Right.

***************************

I drain the water from the bath and wipe away my tears for the hundredth time today.

It's useless to be stuck in the past, Diamond. You moved on from it, there's no reason to go back - move on again.

After a couple of deep breathes, I push all the memories aside. I'm not going to think about it anymore, I promise myself.

I take my bag of clothes with me and go down the stairs. The smell of falafel and pita bread waft tantalizingly in the air, leading me to the garage.

Liam walks in with his arms full of take-out boxes.

Well, I think it's Liam - his face is hidden behind the tower of boxes. I quickly drop my bag and take two off the top into my own hands.

"Thanks," he grunts.

We reach Liam's kitchen, and I put the boxes down on the counter. I watch as Liam opens every container and pulls out two plates.

He talks as he shovels food onto each plate, "Hey, so I know you're a veggie-lover, so I skipped the gyro and got us a bunch of the fried pokey balls. Nice, eh?"

Fried whatsits now?

"Liam, do you mean falafel?"

He looks up at me with an expression akin to childish joy, "Right, that's the word!"

Liam pushes a full plate toward me and sits down, motioning for me to do the same. He then proceeds to stuff his face.

I'm not kidding. I'm talking puffed-out cheeks and chomping-with-an-open-mouth - the most serious level of face-stuffing one can achieve.

This isn't the high-and-mighty refined Liam I know. This is like watching a whole different person. But then again, Liam's been off all day.

But... could it be that Liam's not "off", and genuinely like this? My last memories of pompous, bratty Liam are from five years ago... 

People change over time, right? What if... Liam's changed?

Guilt rolls over me in waves.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, I curse myself.

I toy with a piece of pita bread and stare as the hulk-turned-chipmunk turns to me. "Hey, try this," Liam says.

I look. He's holding out a spoon on which there is a mutilated falafel mixed in with hummus.

Didn't that spoon just go in his mouth?

I swallow hard and gingerly dip my pita into the concoction. Next, I put it in my mouth and chew slowly. "Mmm. Good," I tell him weakly.

Liam smiles wide and adds more hummus to the untouched already-heap on my plate.

I have to purse my lips tight to hide a smile.

***************************

I'd thought that Liam brought a lot of food, but when he's done eating, the remainder only fills up half a box.

He finished the left-overs on my plate too.

How in the world does he maintain that body if this is the way he eats?!

"Hey, I'll clean up here," Liam says, rinsing our plates in the sink. "Why don't you make your way to the living room, and I'll be there in five?"

I nod and leave Liam to the dishes.

I know that I should have said something - at the very least, a 'thank you' - but I'm not used to this Liam. This Liam is new, it's foreign. This Liam has my feelings jumbling up inside me and tangling themselves into knots.

I bow my head in the empty corridor, ashamed.

Though I might have helped Liam while he was in his drunk, helpless state last night, I was brash and annoyed with him. If anything, Liam should be reveling after what he saw today. He should be mocking me, telling me how fucked up I am.

I don't deserve this. Not his kindness, not his sweetness.

By some miracle, I manage to get over my self-criticism and find my way to the living room. I look up and recognize the crystal chandelier, tall windows, and...

that damned couch!

I narrow my eyes at what I'm pretty sure just might be the greatest offense to all furniture,  and make it a point to sit on the ground instead. I don't really mind; I'm starting to love this fluffy rug anyway.

***************************

Liam walks into the room with a bottle of wine.

"Women like wine, right?" he verifies with a raised eyebrow.

Wine. Red wine.

Falling. Breaking. Bleeding.

Tom.

I blanch. Like the wine, memories flow into my mind once more.

It hurts. So much.

Make it stop.

Please.

The blood in my veins becomes acid. It burns behind my eyes. It burns my throat. It burns deep in my stomach.

I think it's eating me alive.

And all I can say is, "No wine."

"Thank God," comes Liam's reply. "It takes forever to get drunk with wine. I'll be back in a second with some bourbon."

It takes him closer to five minutes.

When Liam comes back, he sees me sitting on the ground and laughs lowly, but sits down beside me. He pours amber colored liquid in the two glasses he brought with him and sets the bottle down. I eye him carefully before grabbing the bottle of whiskey and pouring more into my glass, stopping just before it overflows.

"That's more like it!" Liam says excitedly, taking the bottle from my hands to do the same. But then, his voice gets serious, "I've left it alone for a while, but I'm going to ask now. I get it if you don't want to talk about it, but Diamond, that back there, at your place, that wasn't normal for you."

Blue eyes freeze to ice and pierce through me. "What happened?"

I look down glass in my hands. Without a second thought, I throw my head back and down it in one go, grimacing as the familiar burn of liquor trails a path through my body.

The heat from the alcohol mellows down to a soothing warmth, giving me the strength to finally accept the thought  I've been pushing away all day.

Say it. Just say it.

"Tom," I whisper. "I love Tom, but he doesn't love me back. Not the same way at least."

I forget I am Diamond and trust a friend.

***************************

I told myself I wouldn't do author's notes, but somewhere along the line, I changed my mind. Clearly.

So here we go...

Author's Note:

ew. that looks ugly. let's try that again.

HEYYYYY :))

JustAnotherDarling here!! (your author :)

I just wanted to say sorry for taking sO LONG to update. I mean, the only person currently reading this is just my best friend (hi, I love you, thanks for always supporting me), but hopefully, one day, there'll be other people reading this too! If that day comes along and that's You...

WOW HI. Thank you for spending the time to read and get up to this point - I know my chapters are obscenely long. I hope you're enjoying the story so far as much as I am. If not, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!! I'm open to criticism; honestly, I would love some.

Another thing I'm open to: talking. I love talking. Please talk to me if you're here reading this. That'd be so cool.

Okay aNyWaYs, I'll shut up now. I have further chapters to write and whatnot.

Until next time...

All my love, and then some more,

JustAnotherDarling

oh, and before I can forget -

Don't forget to vote! :) (if you liked it - of course - no pressure!)