𝐁𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞

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To most ordinary people, it is ideal and 'polite' to spend a few sentences on greetings and pleasantries. Let me get this message clear and loud: don't expect any warmth from me. I am no ordinary person, I don't bother with politeness unless absolutely necessary, and I'd rather not waste my time on meaningless words. 

Hence, I will get on straight to the point. My name is Artemis Fowl, and this is my story, and nothing else. If you're expecting sugar-coated lies, this isn't your place. And you'll have to be warned: a real person is incredibly more different than a fantasy. 

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Yes, this is the actual Artemis Fowl. I've hacked into this person's account. Their password is so overused by them, it's a wonder no one else has done it before.

And I say this because you won't believe it anyway. 

Hence, I'll have do this ridiculous 'disclaimer': I do not own Artemis Fowl, or any of the books in the series, Eoin Colfer does. 

Frankly, I feel oddly honoured to have a fanbase. Though that's the least I can get, for saving the world— multiple times, mind you.

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Edit by Myles Fowl:

....- / ----. / .---- / .---- ....- / .---- / .---- ----. / ..--- ----- / ..--- .---- / .---- ..--- / ..--- ----- / ..--- .---- / .---- ----. / ..... / .---- ----. / ..--- -----

If you figure it out; don't you agree?

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