Mature content ahead. This chapter contains scenes of self-harm and emotional trauma. Please read with caution.

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I refused to look at Draco the following days. I was more than upset with him for taking Pansy to the ball that I didn't even give him a chance to explain  — I ignored him at my finest by locking myself in my room,

Flashback to a few nights ago,

The pounding on my door echoed loud as I pushed my palms into the wood, " Draco, please stop," I shouted from the back of my throat, " I don't want to hear it,"

" Open the door, Leiah — right fucking now," He endangered, " I swear to god — if you don't open this door right now—" He hushed down, knuckles collided with the wood once more as I turned around, sliding down against it, drawing my knees to my chest,

" Draco, please," I begged through my sobbing, " I can't do this anymore," My head buried in my hands, tears drowning my cheeks as the door kept shaking against my back,

I caught him sigh loudly before his palms struck the door again, " Then let me fucking explain, please," His voice desperately broke in hurt, the torture of me shutting him out, the pain of me giving up on him, " Please, darling, please let me explain,"

" I'm sorry,"

" I'm so fucking sorry,"

My heart completely broke at his words, the sound of how heavily damaged he sounded as he did everything imaginable not so cry, " Please don't do this, Leiah,"

" I need you,"

" I fucking need you,"

The tears kept on flowing, my body shuddering as he kept on striking the wood, " I'm begging you, please don't do this,"

" Please don't give up on me,"

I stayed quiet, smothering my cries as I heard him repeatedly punch the wall,

" Fuck—," He shouted once more before the silence greeted my trembling self.

_____

My heart ached in the worst way possible as the night of the ball rose,

I stood in front of my mirror, looking at my reflection. My dress was in smooth silk, midnight blue with thin stripes — Narcissa gifted me with it last week as well with a letter,

She told me everything that happened after I fainted that night. That Draco wasn't able to turn into a death eater until I had become one and that my father had found out about my efforts to work against him, she penned how important it was for me to stay at school — because the first chance my father held, he would take me away.

The most heartbreaking part of the last few days was that Hermione had left —

Flashback to the other night,

" Luna—," I breathed, looking at my best friend standing in the doorway, tears running down her cheeks, " Luna, what's wrong?"

She didn't answer me. She simply stood there as tears flooded, and that was the first time I have never seen my lively — happy — joyful, Luna — numb,

She looked numb, broken, empty as I hurried my way up to her, but she backed away — she didn't even look at me. She stared blankly out over my room, holding her breaths,

Moments of silence seized, as tears kept falling down her drained features,

" She left me,"

Was all she could speak, her lips trembling,

" She left me without saying goodbye,"

My breaths hitched, " Luna—," I heaved as my heart broke. I took a step closer again, wrapping my arms around her as she tried pushing me away. Her fists slammed my arms as I held her,

" She left me,"

" She left me,"

" She left me,"

The only words that kept coming were that Hermione left her. Luna tried with all force she had to shove me, hit me, and hurt me, but I refused to let her go. I merely held her as she completely broke down in my arms. Her chest felt heavy against mine as she tugged her hair, ripping strands of hair off before I could stop her,

" It hurts,"

" Everything hurts,"

" She was everything to me," Her voice shredded in pain as she looked up to me with hurting eyes,

" And she left,"

Her sobs echoed loud through the hallway behind us, " She told me that she loved me,"

I felt her knees weakening before we both dropped to the ground, " I loved her,"

" With all my heart, I loved her,"

" But still she left me,"

Her arms clung around my neck as if her life depended on it, and I pulled her even closer, holding her with all I had,

" Why would she leave me?" Her breaths fanned against my shoulder as she cried, everything she had held inside for years, she let out. Every time a sob left her lips, my heart broke even more - because I knew that there was nothing I could do for her now.

Hermione was the love of her life, the reason she even bothered to wake up in the morning after her mother's death. I had never seen anyone love someone as much as she loved Hermione. The love and emotion the two shared was everything, more than everything, more than eternity, and everything beyond.

" I can't do this," She blurted out, pushing herself out of my hold, " I can't do this anymore,"

She forced herself up on her feet, stumbling through the hallway, " Luna-, wait," I shouted after her, but no response,

I felt a breaking feeling tearing through me as I looked for her, everywhere — but she was nowhere to be found. The last place I thought to look for her was the Astronomy tower because I knew it was the last place she went before she came to me,

I felt the icing breeze biting my cheeks as I took the last steps of stairs. My breaths hitched as I looked over my best friend,

" Luna, please," I begged, tears rushing down, " I need you,"

She still wouldn't look at me. She looked over the night as her pale hand held onto the railing,

" Hermione doesn't," She stuttered, leaning further out as the wind played with her hair,

" Hermione doesn't need me anymore,"

" But I need her, Leiah,"

" I need her more than anything, and she left me,"

" I loved her so much,"

" I loved her so much it hurt — it hurt to love her,"

I took slow steps towards her, placing my hand on her cold one, " I know, Luna,"

I squeezed her hand in mine, bending over the railing to look at her, " I know you do, but I also know that she loves you — more than you could ever imagine,"

Luna took another step towards the edge, " Then why?" She whispered, her lips quivering, " Why would she leave me?"

And finally, her eyes met mine, and I could see the torture within her, how much she pained.

" I don't know, Luna. But it's Hermione we're talking about — she would never leave without a good cause to do so,"

" She left me,"

" But I'm still here, and I can help you, Luna,"

" Please, let me help you,"

Panic rushed through me of her words because I knew how much this hurt her, how grave her pain was,

" Please don't leave me, Luna. I can't lose you,"

Her eyes pleaded with mine, " I just want it to stop,"

" I know. I know you do. But this isn't the answer. This isn't you, Luna, please. Please don't leave me," I pulled her closer, " I promise never to leave you,"

She turned to me, looking deeply into my eyes as tears kept falling, " Do you promise never to leave me?"

" I promise, Luna,"

" It's me and you forever, remember?"

_____

I stared hopelessly at my feet; the black heels nearly killed me, and we haven't even left my room yet. I spared myself one last look, straightening my dress — feeling a bit uncomfortable with the makeup Luna insisted that I wore,

" We can stay in if you'd like?" I smiled as I spun around, almost heaving by the glimpse of her in her dress — light blue, with pearls covering the perfect dress, " Luna—," I blinked quickly, " You look beautiful,"

Luna laughed at my words, giving me a humble look as she stepped closer, " You're the one to talk," She mocked, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I eyed over her angelic self, savoring the smile spreading her lips, " Are you sure you're up for this? Because I would love just to stay here and—,''

" She left me, Leiah," Luna hewed me off, straightening her gown as she shot me a stern stare, " She left me, and that's alright because it's you and me, right?"

I felt myself swallow thickly, stroking the ridge of my hand against her cheek, '' Forever, Luna.'' I spoke softly, encasing my arms around her — breathing her in — she always scented like home, '' I love you so much, Luna, remember that,'' Luna hugged me back, tightly as she nodded into my chest,

'' I love you more,''

The both of us cringed at the knocking on my door; she stared at me confused as I twirled the door open — '' Ladies,'' Blaise snickered before his jaw dropped, '' Oh my—,'' His eyes fled wild over both of us, holding in the doorway dressed in a mahogany-red suit,

'' I'm—,'' He stammered, cheeks flushed in color, '' I'm one lucky man,''

Eyes rolled at his words as Luna let out a giggle, shoving him in the side — the moment I caught it — her laugh, even that vague one, my heart softened. I haven't heard her laugh in nearly a week, '' We should go — we don't want to arrive late,''

I felt the tension flooding over me as I imagined seeing Draco again, after ignoring him an entire week — fearful of how enranged he would be with me for doing so,

As we reached the stairs leading down to the entrance, my sights instantly caught the tall, handsome boy standing with his date at the end of them, and the second those enchanting blue eyes leveled mine — I missed my breath.

Every wrong thought I held, every unkind word I spoke, everything faded the very moment the curve of his mouth twisted by the look of me — sharp jaws clenched as he hungrily gawked at me,

'' Shall we?'' Luna greeted, provoking me to shred my views from the boy I loved, glimpsing at her instead, her eyes sparkled in peace as she held her arm out, twining it with mine, gripping Blaise's hand with the other. We strolled down the stairs, hand in hand — just like it thought to be — similar to what I dreamed it to be, my best friends and me.

My heart fluttered as we sauntered closer to Draco, sensing his intense stare boring through my pale skin — all I craved to do was to kiss him, to hold him close, to feel the safety he always embraced me with, but I couldn't — because he was with her, and not me. The moment we reached him, my heart burst, feeling a freezing touch, his hand stroked mine, iced fingers brushed over my knuckles, in secret — for only us to feel,

The great hall shone in grace, flickering lights spread the ceiling, drapes of silk coated the walls, the music spired throughout the dancing scholars, and every single one was dressed up in the most spectacular gowns and suits.

Blaise towed us in line to a table, right away, standing around it, " McGonagall really did the works in here," He smiled, gazing around at all the twinkling features, " She really did," Luna smiled back. Still, I could see how difficult this was for her — being here without Hermione. The bravery of my best friend never ceased to surprise me,

" Dance with me," I stirred both of them, moving back to the dance-floor, " Please?"

Eyes rolled as chuckles left their lips, staring at me like I was mental —

and perhaps I am mad, but we needed it. The reality crumbled around us, and all I desired was one night — one night where we didn't care about the horrifying certainty, one. night.

So we did, we danced and laughed the entire night away, every single second of it, and I felt more at ease there, and then — than I have in a long time, all because of them,

Luna hauled me to the refreshment table but suddenly vanished, devising me alone among the dizzy students — my head spun, heavily breaths after hours of dancing, tending over the counter to catch my breath before I flinched — sensing two cold hands shrouded around my waist from behind, pulling me close,

'' Fuck—, Leiah,'' He groaned into my neck, icy ring coated fingers digging into my body, '' You look—,'' He breathed, leaning closer behind my ear,

"Breathtaking,''

Shivers rushed down my spine by his minty flutters fanning my shoulder, embracing me with his touch, and then, in a blink of an eye — Draco's touch suffered mine as my heart ached for more,

I swirled around, looking for the blonde-haired boy my heart belongs to, only to realize that he was nowhere to be seen. I rolled my eyes at his mystery before my sights clocked to Luna's, chatting with Dean and Blaise further down — waving for me to accompany them,

'' Dance with me?'' Dean greeted me as I made my way up to them, '' These two are too tired,'' He mocked them while sending Blaise and Luna a glare. Brown eyes snapped back to mine as he grabbed my hands, '' Please?''

I threw my head back, groaning loudly before I looked back at him, '' Fine,'' I took his hands as he pulled me out on the dance-floor, a warm hand wrapped around my waist as he took my hand in the other one, slowly moving us back and forth,

I peered up at him, noticing his eyes gazing over Blaise, '' You and Blaise, huh?'' I smiled up at him, brown eyes flickered back to mine as he tried to conceal his smile, '' Don't mind me — I'm happy that Blaise has someone,''

Dean gaped at me, wide-eyed as he spun us around, making my dress swirl vividly, '' He really is something,'' Dean grinned, cheeks blushing as I rested my head on his chest, '' But I love him,''

'' I'm happy for you,'' I mumbled through the music before my neck snapped up to his again, '' But — if you hurt him, '' I held, a curve arched on my lips, '' I'm the dark lord's daughter, Dean — make sure not to hurt my best friend,'' I mocked him, making him chuckle,

'' I promise — I won't hurt him,'' He spoke truthfully before pulling me closer to spin us around again. I let my gaze study the room before my eyes caught him — blonde strands of hair fell entirely over his temples, his blue eyes had the strength of lighting up an entire room, and then, he narrowed his eyes in mine,

I felt my breaths heavy against Dean's chest, noticing how Draco rose a brow, jaws clenched in jealousy. I chewed on my lower lip as he studied my every move, my every step — sucking my lip in between my teeth caused Draco to shove his clenching fists into his pockets, seeing how his whole face hardened at the glance of Dean's hand around my waist.

He dangerously shook his head before I ripped my sights away. I could look at him forever. He was everything I could ever wish for,

'' You and Draco, huh?'' Dean impersonated me, making my eyes lock his, brows furrowed, '' I'm sorry — I didn't mean to,'' He faltered, peering at me with concern,

I could sense the emotion flushing throughout me as I smiled to myself, '' I guess so—,''

'' You guess so?'' He quoted me, scratching the back of his head as I stopped in our movements, '' Why just — you guess so?''

'' Because he hurt me, Dean — he has an ugly habit of hurting me, even when he doesn't need to and I—,'' I sucked in a harsh breath as my sights floored — Dean coiled his arm around me once more, moving us to the music,

'' And you—,''

'' And I'm scared, Dean — I'm so afraid for him because my—,'' I swallowed thickly, frightened to reveal my feelings, fearful of showing weakness,

'' My father expects certain things from me, and I can't risk—,'' My centers pooled due to my words, the lump in my throat grew in high speed as my forehead fell to his chest, '' He can't get hurt — I would never forgive myself if he—,''

'' It's alright, Leiah,'' He hugged me tightly, '' You know — there are things a human shouldn't have to go through alone, and this sounds like one of those,''

My neck clocked up to view the humble boy before me, '' I'm scared, Dean — I'm scared all the time.'' His heated hand stroked a tear off my cheek, '' It's alright to be afraid. I would be too, but you don't have to go through this alone,''

My heart throbbed at his words as he noticed, '' Go—,'' He smiled as he let his arms off me,'' Go find that bloody Slytherin,''

And I did — I looked for Draco everywhere, in his room, in the hallways, in the classrooms, even out on the courtyard, but he was nowhere to be found.

I marched back to my room, cursing underneath my breathe for messing everything up, '' Stupid, stupid, stupid,'' I grumbled for myself as I walked through the common room, still hearing the muffled noises of music playing,

My door clicked open as I stepped inside — my sights instantly fell to the blonde-haired boy lounging on my bed,

'' Draco?'' I gasped, staring shocked at him as he seated himself. The annoyed look on his features dropped as he settled blue eyes on mine,

Draco rose from his seat, catching steps towards me — still dressed in his handsome all-black suit, '' There you are,'' He mumbled, standing close, '' Did you have fun with Dean?'' He teased me with clenched jaws,

'' Did you have fun with Pansy?'' I snapped back, raising a brow. He seized a step back, shoving his fists into his pockets, sending me a glare,

'' Don't do that,'' He spoke, voice loud as he pointed a finger at me'' Don't fucking do that — you didn't want to listen to me. I tried to explain—,''

'' I know,'' I hewed him off, taking him off guard with my honesty '' It was stupid — I know. I should've listened to you,'' Startled eyes narrowed in mine as his features softened.

'' I had to go with her, Leiah — my father promised her father that—,''

I shook my head at him, making him quiet down, '' I don't care, Draco — I trust you. I was acting childish and I—,''

'' Come here,'' He spoke softly, cutting me off — icy hands sought mine as he pulled me into him. The warmth of his chest drowned all my worries as I sheathed my arms around his neck, sensing cold arms flying around my waist,

'' We never got to dance,'' He murmured into my head. I felt my heart melting at his words, my mind clouded by the handsome boy before me, '' And I need to tell you something—,''

His chest heaved heavy, '' But life keeps getting in the way—,'' He moved us around slowly through the darkness of my room,

Silence,

Draco stayed quiet as he slow danced with me, holding me close — only the sound of our breaths shredded the quietness,

He served back, veiny hands cupped my cheeks — the icing taste of them lingered goosebumps on my skin, ''Leiah?'' He whispered, gawking intensely into my eyes,

'' Yes?''

Thumbs traced circles on my skin as he tended closer, settling a soft kiss onto my lips — and I kissed him back, without question.

I tore our kiss in two — taking a step back as he stared at me, confused.

My hands explored the strap hugging my shoulder before I hauled it down, signing my hand stroke over my chest before drawing down the other one, without once breaking our intense eye contact,

My dress slipped off my body, falling to the floor as his sights followed — leaving me in nothing but my underwear. Draco's eyes gently made their way up to please mine as he chewed on his lip, slowly reeling his head at me,

I stepped out of my heels, using tender footsteps towards the blonde boy my skin pleaded for as he held frozen before me — I stroked my hands over his clothed chest, straining his jacket off — unbuttoning his shirt, devising him in nothing but his suit pants.

Draco's pale skin shimmered in the moonshine as he peered down on me, tenderly wrapping his arms around my figure before guiding me towards the bed,

He laid me down as he soared on top of me, praising my hungry body, slowly stroking a cold finger down my neck, over my chest down to my abdomen, '' Beautiful—,'' He panted out, running his tongue over his bottom lip,

My body begged for his touch as I stretched my back to push my lips against his — he deepened our kiss, urging me to lay on my back again, '' I hated you—,'' He spoke, softly — his hands traveled beneath my back to take the bra off,

'' I hated you so much—,'' Minty breaths fanned my neck as he left my chest exposed, planting pecks down my throat, '' For so many years — I despised you,'' A chilly hand grasped my thigh as he shoved himself closer,

Teeth biting on my sensitive skin as he kissed his way down my body, leaving marks as he went, '' Do you know why I hated you, Leiah—?'' He groaned as he fell to his knees beside the bed, striving my legs apart,

'' Do you know why I loathed you all those years—?'' He carefully tugged my underwear down. Soft kisses settled on my inner thighs, his edges made their way down to my wetness, '' Answer me,''

I hunched my back as his tongue lapped a strap up my slit, '' I need you to answer me, Leiah,''

'' No—,'' I raised as eyes rolled to the back of my head the second his lips sucked on my clit, '' I don't know why you hated me, Draco,'' My hands sought to find his, tangling my heated fingers with his cold ones as he rose his speed,

'' You don't—?'' He mumbled through the strokes of his tongue, my insides coiled in pleasure as my fingers tensed around his, '' Draco—,'' I wanted to squeeze my legs together, the things his tongue caused me to feel as it swirled around my clit, '' Draco, please—,'' I begged,

He tore away, running a thumb over his lips as blue eyes bored through mine, '' You were too honest for me—, '' He spoke, unbuckling his belt, shoving his pants and boxers down before mounting me again, '' Too warm—,''

I felt his hard cock eagerly, stroking up and down my folds as he placed kisses on my jawline — my every nerve was on edge, every inch of my skin tender burned in lust, '' Draco, please—,'' I pleaded for him to thrust inside me. I needed to feel him,

'' Too caring—,'' He cooed into my ear, thrusting his tip into my wet pussy, '' Fuck—,'' I breathed out as he kept my arms down, stroking his nose against mine,

'' Too pure—,'' His hips slowly bucked back and forth, before quicking his pace, '' Too good, you were too good for me—,'' My nails bored in his back as he forced himself deeper, '' I don't deserve you—,'' His lips matched mine, breathing heavily into each other,

'' I don't fucking deserve you—,''

His words caused my stomach to clench, my bones bending in euphoria as he pounded himself in and out of me, " That's why I hated you — for all those years-,"

My teeth sucked his lower lip as his minty breaths embraced my profile, moaning into each other's mouths, " All the nights I laid awake, thinking about your skin — how good I knew it would feel on mine—,"

His fingers searched for mine as he shook my whole being, fucking me with might, " Draco—," I whimpered, my back curved as he went deeper, every pound more intense, drops of sweat fled his forehead, " I wanted you so bad, so bad I hated you for it—,"

My body trembled underneath his as he pulled himself out, turning to lean against the headboard, " Get on top of me, Leiah," He rushed a hand through his hair as he tugged me closer, and I did as told,

I climbed on top of Draco, tasting his hands stroking up and down my middle as I lowered myself over him, rolling my hips over his — chewing on my lower lip, feeling his cock striking places I didn't even know existed,

" I hated you so much—," He drew me closer, settling kisses in the crook of my neck, " This fucking spot—," He groaned, " I fucking love this perfect crook—," I felt my core aching in pleasure as I hastened my rate, wrapping my arms around his neck,

" Draco—, I can't—," I cried out, fanning heavily into his ear, " Cum for me, darling — I want to feel you cum all over my dick—," Cold hands cupped my cheeks as he tilted his forehead against mine, chests heaving against each other's, lips parted, " Cum for me—,"

And I did, my whole being wrenched on top of him as he pushed himself up, his length felt more in-depth than ever before, " Draco—," I shouted as my head sunk to his shoulder,

His hands rushed to my hips, striving for them to keep rolling, bucking himself up and down, " Fucking hell—," He panted out, sensing his warm ribbons filling my pussy as he bent his head back — blonde strands of hair messy over his temples,

He swallowed thickly, catching his breath as he stared intensely into my eyes, tucking a curl behind my ear. I felt my cheeks flustered as he smiled at me, still on top of him,

The spine of his hand stroked my flushed cheek,

" I love you, Leiah,"

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