I hate him. I hate Draco Malfoy more than any other soul lighting up this world. I've been avoiding the blonde-haired boy for nearly a week, every time he sought to speak with me, every burning stare I felt melting in my back in class, at dinner, in the hallway — I managed to stay clear from.

The haunting images of him and Pansy continuously flashed through my mind as I thought of him, the aching feeling scoring through my heart, hurt a little more every time it did,

But I didn't hate him for being with her because he wasn't mine. I knew that. He was more than free to do whatever he pleases.

I hated him for being with her, that night.

The night I needed him, the one night I wished for him to be with me, but at the end of the day, the boy I hoped would do better, was still the heartless, cruel boy I always knew him to be, and to be surprised by his actions was only me being a fool.

Nothing that boy does should come as a surprise,

Except for all the moments that had passed these last couple of weeks, the slight change in his demeanor tended to be more than confusing, misleading.

The way he defended me, the way he cared for me, how he comforted me when no one else was able to. Perhaps it was wishful thinking, the hopeless thoughts of me wanting him to be better, me hoping for him to change. 

_____

Luna didn't give me one single moment alone during these days. She stayed put by my side from dusk till dawn, waiting for me after the classes we didn't have together, walking me to the next — she even skipped classes at times to be with me in the course of my free periods.

Although this made her lover more than upset with both of us, that in her mind, we were reckless and didn't care about the education we needed — but with Hermione, being the strong-minded, stubborn girl she usually took portray to be, they agreed to take turns, practically guarding me against the blonde boy and his abilities to crawl beneath my skin,

After days of sleeping next to my two friends — I couldn't take it anymore. I finally convinced Luna to allow me to sleep in my own bed because if I had to go through one more night of Luna's snoring, her tossing and turning into me every two minutes or Hermione's freezing feet sneaking to warm themselves up onto my thighs,

I would lose it.

I needed my own space, and even if I was more than grateful for their support and comfort — I wanted to be alone, to process everything that had passed by myself.

_____

I was strolling down to the great hall, meaning to join Luna and Hermione for dinner, but as soon as I rounded a corner — I stumbled back, slamming straight into a familiar chest. The grey eyes I had grown to loath stared directly through me, the lips I had cherished kissing, pushed into a firm line,

Eyes rolled at the brown-haired boy standing tall in front of me, arms crossed over his chest, '' Can't manage to stay away, can you?'' I mocked him, narrowing my eyes in his, '' What do you want, Cedric?''

His jaws clenched at my talks, not used to me snapping at him, but ever since I last saw him — how he treated me after our time together, he deserved nothing more than what I now granted him with,

'' I need to speak with you—,'' He muttered, a hand moving to brush through his hair, '' I know you might not want to—,''

'' Go ahead.''

Cedric's head slightly leaned in, as it always tended to do when he wanted to walk, his vocals scored low, for no one but me to hear, '' I—, I have to—,'' He rose, but quickly hushed again, the guilt climbed his temples as he dug to find the courage to speak his mind,

'' I need you to hear me out, to listen what to I have to say, and if you still want to hate me afterward, that's fine. But I want you to hear what I have to say,'' He sucked in a harsh breath at my nod, still with his eyes locked in mine,

'' I'm sorry, Leiah—,''

I shook my head the second I caught onto his words, not having any strength in doing this right now — the chatting noises of students strolling past us echoed loudly as my mind clouded by the acts of the Hufflepuff holding before me,

I shoed back, striving to walk away from him, to flee my way down the hall to my best friend I knew was waiting for me, '' Cedric. I can't do this right—,''

'' No, you don't understand,'' He urged through begging, making a face at my resistance, '' I need to say this,'' Diggory's hand flew to snatch my wrist, hauling me closer as I sought to walk away,

My eyes grew, my jaw dropped at the sudden touch he granted me with, my eyes snapping between his hand, firmly holding mine and the eyes glinting in a mixture of hurt and sorrow, '' Don't—,'' I yanked away, but to no use, he quickly tugged me back in — holding no respect at the fact that I didn't want him close, '' Cedric, let go of me, right now—,''

I forced my palms into his chest, doing everything possible to forge space between us, but the mind of the Hufflepuff was set — he needed to speak with me, with or without my consent.

The panic and anxiety of a certain Slytherin catching us, catching me speaking with Cerdic, flooded through my veins because I knew that if Draco heard about this, or nevertheless watched as Cedric refused to let me go,

He would lose his mind,

''Leiah — well, who do we have here—,'' The husky voice rose, but the second his eyes placed on the boy holding my arm in a rough grip, the soft, gentle look always soothing on his temples, flushed away, the tension grew as he shoed closer, '' Let go of her, right—,''

'' Walk me to dinner? Would you? Blaise?'' I broke the tension, seeking for Blaise to look at me, to break the evil stare he held in Cedric, '' Blaise, please?'' The brown eyes flickered to mine, swallowing thickly before he shot me a slight nod, agreeing to leave this humiliating situation,

'' What the fuck—,'' His furious growl came from behind, making my eyes roll to match Blaise's, '' You fucking half-blood,'' - and without faltering, Cedric dropped my arm, while turning to face the shouting blonde-boy behind us fully,

Draco's long strides clicked thoroughly within the halls, pushing the startled Hufflepull back from me, '' What did I tell you, Diggory?'' Draco spat at him, teeth gritted as he forced himself in front of me, '' Do you have a deathwish?''

'' Do you?'' Cedric bites back, stepping closer to Draco's visibly fuming figure, '' What in the bloody hell is your problem, Malfoy?'' The air thickened around us as I felt more than responsible for the chaos swirling around us. I always tended to blame myself in these situations, even if nothing I did could ease the blonde one's temper,

'' My problem?'' Draco hissed, chuckling darkly to taunt the boy, '' My problem is that you can't keep your filthy hands to yourself — I told you to stay away from her because you're nothing more than a halfwit, but even then, you fucking slapped her,'' - pure venom dripped off his tongue at his tells, eyes locked in Cedric's grey one's,

I felt Draco's temper failing him completely, his hands curled into fists, the veins coating his skin almost popping out, '' Draco, please—,'' I sought to plead him, stepping between the two bickering boys, the minty breaths tasted sweet on my lips as I leaned closer to Draco, doing everything possible to take his attention off Cedric, to calm him down,

For a slight second — Draco's eyes snapped to mine, brows furrowed as two, freezing hands snaked around my waist, pulling me away from him, '' Stay out of this,'' He mumbled, before yet again, facing Cedric.

The brown-haired boy stared at Draco's gesture, hurt flashed through his numb eyes, '' Are you really the one to talk, Malfoy?'' He scoffed, narrowing grey eyes, '' As I remember it — didn't you choke her?'' - by those words, I felt the air tighten in my lungs, the tension increased as I looked at Blaise, his jaw dropped at the last comment made, both of us shaking our heads,

Draco bit his lower lip, huffing amusingly as he took another step closer, '' I did, but do you know what I did before that?'' He smirked, coldly, standing his ground, '' I made her cum, while you were fucking—,''

'' Shut up, right now, Malfoy. Shut that filthy—,'' Cedric rose as he forced his curved fists into Draco's chest, pushing him back, daring the blonde one even further, '' You don't know anything, so stop acting as if you do,'' I could tell by the breaking voice, that Cedric was more than hurt over his — that he regretted everything passing between us.

Still, doing what he just did, by shoving Draco, laying his hands on the boy who had the reputation of losing his temper at the slightest thing, he made everything worse, '' What don't I know, Diggory? That you're less of a man than all of believed you to be?'' He snickered, drawing his ring-covered fingers through his hair, '' That you can't get over a girl you slept with—,''

'' She's not just a girl, Malfoy — I loved her,''

My eyes grew wide, breaths hitched at the talks he nearly shouted, making the students walking past us snap their heads to get a small glimpse of what's occurring, '' I loved her, alright? But she didn't want me.'' I swallowed thickly as I felt the anxiety triggering within,

'' She broke my heart,''

Lie.

I didn't. I didn't mean to do what he accused me of. I wasn't ready to love anyone when he wanted me, and when I felt ready — when I believed that I was, he was the one who had moved on.

Cedric cleared his throat, scratching along his jawline before shooting me a guilty glare, '' So I had to break hers,''

No.

No, no, no.

He did that on purpose,

He led me on,

He fucked me,

And then he left me,

All on purpose,

All because I wasn't ready to love him back,

I gulped, almost choking on my own spit as I stood petrified, sensing Draco's stare burning at me, more than furious at what Cedric admitted — the mixture of jealousy and spite filled the space between us as he broke the silence, '' Well, isn't that unfortunate—,''

'' That's enough,'' All three heads snapped to mine, shaken to my yelling — but I had to. If this went on any longer, someone was more than doomed to get hurt, '' Both of you are acting like complete fools,'' I quieted down, feeling Draco's eyes seeking to match mine,

'' What did you call me?'' Draco spat, turning fully to face me, '' Answer me—,'' He endangered, taking a booth closer, the former amused, devilish look on his temples faded into a raging one,

I shoed back, feeling my back colliding with the wall behind me as I sucked in a harsh breath, knowing that what I'm about to do, is something I'll live to regret later, '' I said, that you're acting like a fool, Draco.''

His jaws clenched at my words, nostrils flaring in anger, and before I even had a chance to wrap my head around what he was doing, his hand flew to my neck, cold fingers dug deeply as he pinned me against the wall.

I knew I shouldn't, but by that touch, even if it lived to be a rough violent one — his skin felt fluttering on mine, '' Really, Malfoy? Choking me, again?'' I tried to dare him, challenge him for once — he rose a brow at my demeanor, letting out a peel of dark laughter, '' Why? Did you miss it? Whore—,''

Whore.

He called me a whore, when he knew how that word made me feel the last time someone used it against me. He knew, and he still said it.

My heart lightly dropped, insides twisted as I felt sick, nauseous, disbelief pushed through my veins — out of all the words he had the record of calling me, of all the things he had spoken, he called me a whore.

Silence seized us; either Cedric or Blaise uttered a single word as Draco eyes stared intensely into mine, heated breaths tasted sweet on my lips,

I felt my eyes prickling, the lump in my throat growing as I sought to pry his hand away — not wanting anything to do with him anymore, '' I hate you,'' I whispered in a stutter, tearing my sights away, '' Let me go, Malfoy.'' My words struck a nerve because, for the first time, — he did as I asked.

He pulled his touch away and stepped back, looking after me as I pushed myself off the wall, walking away from the three boys in utter silence.

I was done. I was more than done. I hated him. I hated Draco Malfoy more than anything, and this showed — that he hated me as well.

_____

I wrapped a towel around my soaked self, still drained by the things that passed earlier, even in absolute disbelief of what happened. I didn't want to this anymore. I didn't want anything to do with anyone. I was done. I am done.

Draco is more than free to sleep with whomever he wishes, and I'm the whore?

Pathetic.

My fingers scored cold around the doorknob as I shoved my door open, only to cringe by the boy hunched down on my bed, his head buried in his palms, '' Leave, Draco—,'' I tried to warn, but as the stubborn boy he was, he didn't even look at me — he kept his head in his hands, huffing loudly,

'' Is it true?'' He questioned, raising his front to look at me, '' Did he love you?''

My face twisted in a confused grimace, my temper held on the far edge as I turned around, aiming to lock myself into my bathroom again — I didn't want to do this anymore. I had no strength left to fight him, '' Fine, then I'll go,''

The sound of his heels storming close echoed throughout my room before a hand gripped my upper arm, yanking me back to face him, '' You're not going anywhere—,'' He hissed, teeth gritted,

'' I need to know, did you love him back?'' His vocals tore low yet threatening; he grew more than impatient with my resistance to answering his questions, his eyes pierced through mine, lips pushed into a firm line,

I sighed, giving in to the hold he knew he had of me, '' No. I didn't love him back,''

''Are you happy now? Now that I'm just as awful as you? Do you hate me even more now, Draco?'' I snapped, my temper failing me altogether, '' Are you proud of me now, that I finally admitted not to love a boy who clearly loved me?''

The blonde one's eyes broad, breaths ragged as his chest moved roughly, biting his lower lip in hesitation before forcing me back from him — his hands tugged his hair back as he paced back and forth in front of me, '' I don't fucking hate you. That's the problem,'' He finally admitted, annoyingly shaking his head at me,

'' Don't you fucking understand that?''

I stood breathless, confused, startled — in the loss of words as he kept going, '' I don't know what I'm doing, Leiah — I don't have any fucking clue to what I'm supposed to do with you, to what I feel...I don't—,'' He held, frustratingly hauling at his tie,

'' You don't know what you want?'' I hissed, nearly mocking him, '' But do you know what I want, Draco?'' I chewed on my bottom lip, his eyes flickered to please mine,

'' I want nothing to do with you, and do you know why?''

'' I hate you, Malfoy. That's why,''

With no time wasted, he pushed his palms into my chest, causing me to collide with the wall behind me — Draco pressed his body onto mine, hands slipping around my clothed waist to keep me in place, tilting his head to look straight through me, but not a word is spoken.

The blue eyes darted between my eyes and lips; his chest heaved heavily against mine as I studied him, letting my sights flickering over every inch of his features, the corner of his mouth twitched, his fingers dug deeper into my flesh. He was so close, nearly breathing the same air as the tension grew,

I want him. Having him this close, looking over every strand of blond hair falling perfectly over his forehead, seeing how the dark eyelashes are framing his eyes in the most fascinating ways, the things his scent does to me.

I couldn't resist him, even if I tried.

It was time to stop lying to myself.

I wanted him.

My hands pushed into his chest, creating a small longing space between us, noticing him rolling his tongue inside his cheek, '' You don't know what you want, Draco?'' I spoke sweetly, sucking my lower lip in between my teeth, earing a look shredding in desire and spite to study my every move — his hands shoved in his pockets, eyes pleading mine as I slowly reached for the ends of my towel,

I need him.

Even though I hated him,

The need for him was graver,

His eyes burning, his skin flushing as I dropped my towel to the floor — standing entirely exposed in front of the blonde boy,

'' Is this what you want, Draco?''

'' Do you want me?''

_____