This chapter contains scenes of self-harm. Please read with caution.

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'' She's gone.''

I stumbled back out of Narcissa's hold, feeling my spine colliding with the door. My face twisted in disbelief as every thought imaginable flashed through my mind,

This can't be happening.

My eyes pooled as I fought my urge to cry, " How—,"

'' The death eaters, your father—,'' Narcissa hewed me off, as well as herself, seeking to find the courage to tell me about my mother. Both of us stood frozen, scared to realize the truth. '' They took her away.'' She mumbled, stretching her hand to her ashen face to wipe the tears off her cheek,

My mind sought clouded by her words,

I couldn't think clearly. Everything my head flashed was my mother's last words to me,

'' Now go. I'll stay safe here. Don't worry about me. It's my job to worry about you.''

This is all my fault. I shouldn't have left her.

This was my job, not hers.

It was reckless of me to leave her alone in these mad times. I was supposed to stay with her — I knew that, and yet I did. I left her. She spent my entire life taking care of me, guarding me, keeping me protected. I was everything to her, and I couldn't keep her safe even when she needed me to.

Narcissa's eyes leveled mine, seeking words to express her sorrows, but she wasn't able to. She stood blank, empty, hollow — just like I did. I felt the color draining from my face, " Why?" I uttered through trembling lips, " Why would they do that?"

She shook her head, swallowing thickly, ''Leiah, your father; he—,'' She pleaded, and I could tell how hard it was for her to speak about this. Both her and my mother always tried to spare us the torture of knowing. " The dark lord is capable of many cruel things, dear. I'm not certain there even is a reason to why he would do something—," She held her breath as she fought the tears,

My heart broke into millions of pieces, and every breath heaved heavier, my chest narrowed. My fingers clenched into fists, nails scoring in my palms to feel the pain and the relief that followed,

But nothing, everything hurts just as much at this moment. " I can't, Narcissa —, I can't lose her—," I cried out. My mind missed me as my hands roughly tugged at my hair, tears drowned my pale cheeks,

And then, I cried, I sobbed, I let it all out.

It wasn't possible to stay strong, not when everything within crumbled, everything came rushing down.

Narcissa tried her best to comfort my trembling self, but I shoved her off every time she closed in. I wasn't strong enough for this; my mother was the strong one. She was the one to take care of me — a shaky whimper left my lips as I buried my head in my bleeding palms. Every feeling possible chewed my bones, ached my heart, soared my core.

The pain felt overwhelming,

I was about to give up, give in to my mind, letting my thoughts get the best of me as my knees raised to fail me,

Darkness.

_____

My head is pounded in hurt as my mouth felt dry — a cough escaped my lips, slightly pushing my eyes open, only to be greeted by the numbness circling me, the feeling of losing something chewed within but no recollection of what came to mind,

I flinched back the second my eyes reached the blonde-haired boy resting close, leaning over the bed frame with his head resting over my arm — the soft strands of hair brushed gently against my sore skin, and without even thinking about it, a shy smile managed to arch onto my lips, by the sight of him,

'' Enjoying your view, are we now?'' His voice came friendly, yet unexpected from behind, making me wince once again, meeting the kind, brown eyes of my new found friend, resting in a chair on the other side of the hospital bed, '' He's charming, and if you look close enough—,''

'' Are you completely mental?'' I hewed him off, rolling my eyes at his attempt to mock me, but still not daring to move too much, scared to wake the boy who's sleeping peacefully next to me,

Blaise rolled his eyes, propping himself up in his chair, '' I'm the mental one?'' He grinned, placing a comforting hand on top of mine, '' I'm not the one sleeping in an infirmary bed, Leiah,'' The vocals taunted me, the laugh following provoked a chuckle to flee my lips,

I felt my insides twist in agony; my mind dizzy in question as I tried to breathe, slowly, '' What happened?'' I tried asking, my eyes flickering out over the deserted hospital wing, '' Why are we here?''

Blaise quieted down from his mockery, his eyes fell hooded to the floor as he swallowed the guilt flashing within, '' You had a fall and hit your head—,'' He mumbled, scratching the back of his neck, but even if I hadn't known the brown-haired by for very long — I could tell when he was dishonest, '' Don't lie to me, Blaise. You need to tell me what—,''

My breaths stuck in my throat, my eyes immediately pooled at the thought my mind strived to forget, '' My mother—,'' I gulped, almost choking on air as I pushed myself up, causing Draco to jolt back, quickly standing up to grasp what's passing. I forced myself off the bed, the freezing feeling of the stone-covered floor ached beneath my bare feet, but I didn't care,

The second I tried to take a step, my knees weakened, my body failing me, '' Fuck—,'' Draco growled, before wrapping his arms around my stumbling self, pulling me into his chest, '' Are you out of your mind —, you just woke up? You can't just—,'' He quieted his yells down, noticing the tears rolling down my cheeks,

I felt everything within crumble at the thought of her, my mother being out there in the hell of the unknown, all alone, with no one to care for her, because I was the one who believed in doing that. I should've kept her safe, but instead, I left her, all by herself, like a pray in plain sight — for my father to seize whenever he pleased to,

I couldn't stand the feeling of touch, especially not Draco's touch, every bone in my body caved as I tried to push myself off him, the trail of cries repeatedly leaving my lips echoed loudly throughout the room, '' Calm down,'' He tried to comfort, but nothing in this time could ever make me calm down, because he had her. My father and the death eaters following him had her,

My fists collided with Draco's chest, pushing, shoving, hitting him to let me go, yet he refused to do so, my acts only caused him to hold onto me harder, tighter, '' Fucking stop—,'' He spoke, harshly, '' I need to tell you something, can you just—,'' I managed to force him back, to create a slight space between us, before he pulled me back in,

''Leiah, can you listen to me—,''

I shook my head, tears kept flooding, '' I can't, Draco—,''

'' She's gone. I can't—,''

The cold hand wrapped around my waist moved without hesitation up to my head, forcing it into his shoulder, seeking to calm my trembling self, '' You need to listen to me.'' He hummed, '' I need you to listen to me, can you do that?'' My heart hammered roughly; my breaths hitched as I nodded into the fabric of his suit,

''I'm right here—,'' He cooed, close to my ear as the scent of mint and cologne trapped my every sense, '' I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere,'' He continued, stroking his hand down my back and I felt my body caving at his words, my figure giving into his as he tried to keep me steady,

'' Draco, perhaps we should send for Madam Pomfrey?'' Blaise asked, still hunkered down in his chair, looking more than startled at the both of us, '' I think she needs to sleep, Malfoy — she hit her head, she needs to—,''

The nod I felt Draco shooting him cut him off, the clinking sound of Blaise's shoes faded away before the door slammed shut, and there we stood, the heartless, vile Slytherin and I as I cried onto his chest, '' I'm sorry—,'' I whimpered, my hands moving in between us, burying my head in them, '' I don't know—,''

'' You have nothing to be sorry for, so don't you dare apologize for this,'' He whispered, prying my hands off my face, '' I need to tell you something—,'' The cold hand snaked to cup my cheek, bending my head up to look at him,

The blue eyes bored straight through mine, his thumb gently wiping the stains off tears off my drained skin, '' Your mother is safe, Leiah — my mother found her, she went into hiding—,'' He held as I stepped away, brows furrowed in disbelief, '' It's alright, she's safe,''

I shook my head, feeling the ache throbbing within, lips parted to speak but not a sound could escape them, '' You weren't supposed to found out. She didn't want to risk your safety by telling you about hers—,'' The tensed look coating his features, shifted into a soft one, the eyes which usually tore in hatred, lit up in honesty, '' You can't tell anyone, but it's true—, she's safe,''

My hand slapped over my mouth, trying to muffle the whimpers, leaving them, '' She's okay?'' I breathed out, '' You're sure about this, she's safe?'' The blonde strands of hair fell messy over his temples, his lips pressed into a firm line,

'' She's safe—,''

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The headmaster granted me to stay in my room for the rest of that day, due to Narcissa's letter, informing him that she had found me unconscious on the ground when she meant to visit, and she made it more than clear to both Draco and me not to tell a single soul of what had passed,

I wasn't allowed to tell Luna, the girl I always confided in, and lying to her was going to be one of the hardest things because she had the ability to look straight through me and the lies I told her in the past, but this was different — this was about my mother's wellbeing, and I knew, if she ever found out about the lies I've been keeping — she'll understand,

Even if I didn't, I couldn't possibly understand why my mother kept this from me, why she let me believe that they had taken her, instead of making me promise not to tell anyone. She always sought to protect me from my father's dark mind and everything that befalls him, but this only caused more harm than good,

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I spent the rest of the night, resting in my bed as the darkness enclosed around me, and even if I tried not to, my mind constantly flickered back to the blonde-haired boy, thinking about what he did for me today, that he comforted me, that he was everything he usually was not,

Because he despised me, and I hated him, that would never change, yet something did, something between us had changed, and I needed him more than I ever thought I would,

It's a strange thing, needing someone you can't stand, craving to be near to a boy you hated,

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My feet scored cold upon the hallway floor as I rushed my way through the corridors, striving not to get caught on my way down the dungeons. I knew how stupid this was, how much of a fool I tended to me, for feeling this way about a boy who did nothing more than break me, over and over,

But I couldn't help it. I needed to see him, and nothing else mattered,

I forced the massive door to the Slytherin common room open, nearly stumbling my way down the dimmed stairs, feeling the excited, longing feeling flushing through my blood,

Until I took my last stop of the stairs, my eyes grew wide, breaths hitched the second I watched them,

Him, resting on the couch,

With Pansy straddling his lap.

Running her hands through his hair.

My veins iced, my heart ached by the look of them, moving against each other in the darkness. I tried to walk back, but my tracks trembled as they both noticed, the blue eyes snapped directly at me, boring through me with spite, '' We're kind of busy here, mudblood,'' Draco smirked, pure venom dripped off his tongue before he roughly wrapped his hands around Pansy, tracing kisses down her neck,

My eyes pooled as I flung around, storming out, the sinking feeling trapped me, my chest felt heavy as I dropped to my knees,

I take it all back.

I fucking hate Draco Malfoy.

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