*Jungkook*

When Taehyung kissed me in front of Hoseok and Jimin, I fell quiet instantly. Having drunk too much beer too fast, I felt tipsy and my mind felt blurry. I could not react. I even forgot to kiss him back. But I felt my heart pounding in my chest when his lips crushed on mine. 

Taehyung's beautifully shaped eyes were fixed on me. Seeing that I was clearly confused, he pulled me against him and kissed me once more. His mouth was hard on mine. When he let me go, having made his point, I finally let out a breath.

Hoseok-hyung seemed even more confused by Tae's behaviour than me. He was just sitting on the floor, mouth open, staring at us and not believing his eyes. Jimin stayed silent but his eyes were wide open. He was about to mumble something, but Tae was faster. He took hold of my hand and pulled me toward the bedroom. « Let's go! You seem to need some rest », he told me. Then we were already through the door, leaving the hyungs behind.

I cannot remember much about what happened next, a lot about this night is a blur. But I remember hearing Tae's deep voice addressing Yoongi. Soon afterwards, he left the room, giving us space. Tae turned off the light, leaving on only the small bedside lamp next to Yoongi's bed. The light was soft but clear enough to make out in the dark Taehyung's shapes and features.

***

Tae was still holding my hand when he pushed me carefully on my bed. He grabbed an extra pillow from his own bed and threw it next to me. Then he sat down on the edge of the bed without saying a word. He sat there looking at me for a minute or two.

The alcohol was rising slowly until it got to my mind and I felt my head turn. It felt like Tae was staring at me not only for a few minutes but for hours. His face was blurred and I had a hard time focusing on his face. His features changed every second, which made me regret drinking so much.

I tried to fix my gaze on Tae's lips, which took a lot of effort given my current condition, but at least it made my head turn less. How could this boy be so attractive? How could he feel something for me? 

« I want to kiss you », I told Tae, my eyes still fixed on my hyung's lips.

« You are drunk, Jungkook ». His voice was cold.

« Are you mad? », I asked him. 

« No », came the answer. 

He had said it too fast to be true. Unfortunately, under the effect of the alcohol, I had not noticed. « Then let me kiss you », I slung my arms around him and aimed with my lips for his mouth. 

« You reek of beer, Jungkook. I don't like it ».  

There it was again this cold, neutral voice. I hated it. « You are mean, hyung », it blurted out of me. 

« Maybe. But you are clearly drunk. And stop hitting me ». 

Unconsciously, I had started punching Tae in his side after he had refused to kiss me. I stopped and grouched. « If you don't want to kiss me, why did you send Yoongi away ? ». 

Now Tae smiled and a small laughter came from his lips. « You smart fox. Even drunk your mind works ». In the next moment, his lips were on mine.

***

Tae's lips felt hot on my mouth. And how much I wanted to feel them brushing over every inch of my body. 

Maybe my mind did still work, but it was no longer connected to my movements. Without noticing it my hands had started caressing Tae's lower back and stomach under his shirt. They had wandered towards his pants and were fumbling with his belt. But with my fingers moving too clumsily, it would not come loose.  

« Slowly », Tae hushed. 

Being unable to undress him, I changed strategies and got rid of my own clothes. Some decency must have made me keep on my boxers. Still sitting on the edge of the bed, I felt Taehyung's hand stroke my back. He was running one long finger up and down my spine. I felt goosebumps form all over my body.

« Hyung », half word half moan it slipped from my mouth but my hyung did not give me his attention. 

« Hyung », I urged him again. 

« Mmh ? », came his answer while his fingers continued caressing my back. 

« Could you cuddle me ? ». I moved out of his grip and slid under the blanket, petting the spot next to me in order to tell Tae to lie down next to me. Somewhat lazily, Taehyung slid next to me. He lay there, propped on one arm, his gaze upon me again. My face was turned towards him. 

« This ain't no cuddling », I pouted. 

Then I wrapped my arms around him, burying my  head in his chest. Taehyung let his fingers run through my hair, kissed the top of my head and smiled at me.

« Hyung ? », I mumbled, my head still pressed against Tae's chest. 

« Mmh? », he replied again with his low but soft voice. 

 I rubbed my feet against each other to make go away the embarrassment that I felt for the words I was about to say. Taehyung kept stroking my hair with one hand. « Mmh? », he said again when I did not answer right away.

« Fuck me! ». 

This was no question. This was me expressing the desire I had felt the last weeks for this boy that was my hyung. Since my head was resting against Tae's chest, I could feel his breathing halt. With his breathing had also stopped his caresses. I looked up into his face. Thanks to Yoongi's bedside lamp I could make out his expression. The smile had vanished from his face and in it's place had appeared a mixture of concern and curiosity.

« Fuck me, Taehyung », I urged him again, dropping all honorifics. 

I could see on his jawline that he must have clenched his teeth hard. Nevertheless did he reply this time. I cannot say if I was disappointed by his answer back then because  the alcohol had clouded my mind and my good sense. 

« You are drunk, Jungkook, you don't know what you say ». He gulped hard. 

« I know what I say. I say that I want you to fuck me. I want to feel you inside of me Taehyung ». 

Silence.

I looked back up at his face, waiting for an answer. 

« I won't do it. You are drunk Jungkook. I won't sleep with you like this », he explained after a few long seconds. 

« Tomorrow then. When I am sober again ! » 

« Jungkook, I won't do it tomorrow either. You are just too young for that experience. You don't know what you are asking of me », Tae said. 

« I know what I say and what I ask you to do. Hyung, I want to feel you. All of you. I... », I felt my strength slowly leave my body. Still pressed against Tae, his hands had started caressing my back again. It felt so good and the alcohol in my veins made me sleepy. The feeling of my head spinning was no help either. I closed my eyes, concentrating entirely on Tae's touch. But before falling asleep, I used the rest of my energy to tell Tae what was occupying my mind and heart.

« I want us to make love. You in me. Me in you... I don't care. But I want us to be one. Just you and me ... », I kissed his chest through the fabric of his shirt, then I was already falling asleep. 

Just before I fell into Morpheus' arms I could hear Tae's words. « Me too. How much I desire you, you cannot imagine. One day, we will make love. And that day will be the most beautiful day of our lives. I promise you. But please be a little more patient. You will thank me one day for this choice ».  Then he kissed my head once more and we welcomed Morpheus' arms.