When I already have an idea in the back of my head, I'd most often blurt it out - no matter how hard I try not to.

That sunny afternoon, Jo is leaning on the wall of the ice cream shop, his eyes skimming through the book I've brought him. I convinced him to start reading a book since he doesn't seem to like them so much. An irony when you've known how his brother and his love for book is.

He's probably flipped through the pages until around the middle of 'The Murder on The Orient Express', when I call out for his attention.

"Where are you going?"

"Huh?"

"I mean when high school is over," I cast my eyes somewhere else, trying to ignore my embarrassment, "Have you sent your application?"

His gaze drops onto the pavement for a while. Jo chuckles, but he's doing it as if to cover his reluctance to cover the topic.

"I don't even know whether I'll go to uni or not."

My gaze lands on his as soon as I hear his response. I don't dare to express my surprise, though.

"Oh..."

"You've applied?" 

I nod in response and he smiles a little.

"Why don't you apply for a scholarship?"

He drags a long sigh, "My grades aren't that great."

"You're smart," I rise a brow, "I know you are."

"When you don't have that much time to study like everyone else, that only helps a bit," he shrugs, "My grades aren't extraordinary enough to get a scholarship."

"But why not just try? A smart guy like you... The university will get it, don't you think so?"

"Get what? I can't tell them my grades aren't good enough because I have to work all the time. It doesn't work that way."

Jo narrows his eyes, his voice getting a bit louder with each word.

Who wouldn't be sad if their circumstances won't allow them to do what they want to?

What will I say to that, though?

I'm lucky enough I can study, even if I'm not as smart as he is. But even if I don't go to the same school as he does, I know he can be those geniuses with straight A's though they're also busy in organizations.

Life's not fair.

I look back at Jo, who's burying himself in the book. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's not your fault I can't go to university." 

"It's my fault if I upset you, though."

The side of his lips tugs up into a lopsided smile, "Don't feel bad. I don't mind with you running your mouth all day."

I can only roll my eyes at his retort.

"What I meant to say was, you can learn some more one way or another. It doesn't have to be in uni."

"I get it," he continues, "You don't seem very nervous for someone who's submitted their application, though."

"My acting is pretty good, then." I smirk.

"I'm sure you'll get accepted."

I look at him, realizing how a bit of sadness peeks into his whole expression.

"Let's get some snacks."

He looks up, "What?"

"Let's get something to eat."

"We've eaten ice cream."

I'm already walking away from him, leaving him to trail behind my footsteps.

How I try to resolve someone's sadness by buying them food is... predictable of me. But I hope it helps.

"Where are we going?"

"Do you want some donuts?"

His steps have fallen beside mine and now Jo is looking at me incredulously.

"Donuts?"

"I know a place. It's great."

"You sure love your sweets." he stifles a laugh and I wish I can tell him I'm only eating donuts because I feel bad for making him obviously upset. But then I realize I really do crave some Johnny's donuts and I shut up.

Johnny's Place is known for its chocolate glazed donuts, other than its strawberry jam stuffed ones with the sprinkled sugar on top.

It's incredibly sweet and Mom doesn't allow me to eat there too often. Once I snuck there after school for 3 days straight and I gained 2 kgs. I've learned my lesson since.

" Are you sure?"

Jo wonders out loud when we've arrived at Johnny's. I laugh when I see how uncertain he is as if I'm asking him to go into a cemetery at midnight all alone.

"You don't like it here?"

"Their donuts are too sweet, Sash," he pauses before his eyes widen in disbelief, "You like it?"

I sheepishly explain myself, "Not too often it's alright!"

"Don't eat here! I swear someone can be diabetic after going in there."

"Then where do you think is the best donut place?"

Jo laughs, leading me away from that too-sweet of a place, "You really need to know more good food to eat, Blue."

"Well, I'm sorry, Joseph, for not being allowed to eat around town too often."

"Poor you."

I huff at his teasing smirk but follow his footsteps anyway. Somehow he's always the one out of the two of us who knows good places to eat.

"Here we are," he flails his hand in an exaggerated manner as we're closing into a pink and white striped building. The building's decoration seems as exaggerated as Jo is being as he's presenting the donut place, "possibly one of the best."

He turns to me with a smirk, "Since 1987."

"Johnny's has been here since 1945." I dryly exclaim and he shakes his head.

"You should try this one."

As we enter, the shop is not entirely vacant.

A few kids our age are hanging out at the corner of the shop and a few other adults spread across the room. The donuts are displayed neatly in the display cases, each group with different colors sitting right next to each other.

I won't lie - they look good. 

"Which one?" Jo turns to look at me as I'm examining each group.

"Uh, that one?" I point to the chocolate-glazed one and Jo gives me an approving smile before ordering our choices.

"Drink?"

I look up to the menu on the wall behind the display cases and decide I'll have a strawberry milkshake.

We occupy the table near the window swiftly as soon as we get our orders.

Jo waits for me to take my first bite and as much as I hate to admit my defeat, he's right on this one.

The chocolate isn't plainly sweet - its bitterness mixes with the sweetness perfectly, making the donut doesn't taste overwhelming. For a chocolate donut, it's not as heavy as the similar donuts I usually encounter.

"So?"

I look up from my donut and Jo waits for me with a smile as he munches his.

"You're right. It's delicious."

"Much better than that overly sweet Johnny's?"

"I won't say it's much better, it's better. Johnny is still alright, though."

He shakes his head at my reluctance, "I've saved you from diabetes. No need to thank me."

"What's with you and Johnny's?" I scowl at how his discontent he is of the snack.

"I'm stating facts, Blue. I bet your Mom will tell you not to eat there if she knows."

"Funny how you two are much alike."

"Everyone will agree to that."

I drag a long sigh, "Alright, alright. It's much better here."

"Why would you eat that kind of donut anyway?"

"I don't know... I just like it."

"Mhm." Jo slurps his soda and I sigh. He definitely knows there's more to my answer.

"I like their place. It feels cozy, you know? I like the whole... feel to it," I shrug, "So far I can't find a place with that kind of vibes."

"You like their place that much?"

"I've been there since I was little with my Dad."

"Oh..." 

At the mention of my Dad, his eyes soften somehow. Maybe he can't help but remember his own memories with his Dad too. 

Our donuts are gone, our drinks soon are too.

That afternoon, I decide to go home by my own even though he's insisted.

We've paid for our snacks and soon we're out at the sidewalk, ready to part ways.

"Blue?"

I turn, seeing his grin that looks awfully confident. 

He points his index finger at me, "Someday I'll have a donut place so great, you won't have to come back to Johnny's ever again."

I throw my head back laughing, but then nodding anyways, "We'll see."