*Trigger Warning*

"I suppose it would take us half an hour to reach the club if traffic isn't too heavy?"
Xian enquired absentmindedly. It was taking him tremendous amount of courage to even sit in Jeff's car and not faint at the thought of going back to the place where his entire ordeal began.

Xian did not even realise that Jeff was quiet and hadn't answered his question when the car halted at a signal and Jeff's eyes met Xian's. "If it does not sound too intrusive, can I say something?"

"Sure." At this point Xian was ready to hear just about anything and not think back to his own horrendous night.

Biting his lip, to Xian it seemed Jeff was contemplating for a second, after which he gave up on thinking too much and decided to just share whatever was in his mind.

"I won't say I understand what you're going through, but I do understand in many ways Xian."

"..."

Just then the signal turned green and with a sigh Jeff resumed driving; and what he revealed was absolutely shocking for Xian.

"I have always been a typical punk of the school whom everyone wanted to befriend. I was popular, sexy and smart. People loved me and I honestly loved people." There was a sad laugh in the end, which Xian detected in Jeff's voice, and he instantly knew that this story did not have a happy ending.

"Back then I wasn't even aware of my own sexuality. At the age of sixteen I hadn't dated anyone seriously but have had girlfriends and they were just random fun." Quickly glancing at Xian, Jeff's eyes were filled with sadness as he continued with his story.

"I met Leander in chemistry class." Taking out the name was as painful for Jeff as even remembering the boy himself. "He was this nerd who was my partner and benchmate. To be honest he was cute. Very cute. Maybe that was one reason I fell for him hard and fast."

Xian held back his words; 'Cute and falling hard and fast should be a red flag and avoided much as possible.'

"Our friendship was gradual and within two months from acknowledgement and smiles, we jumped onto kissing eachother in every nook and corners we could find in school.

"At first I was shocked because never before had I ever shown any interest in boys, but then Leander was petite and sweet. He was beautiful under me or above. He was what my horny self needed. With him life was bliss. Our love story could have been a hallmark movie had it not been for Leander posting our intimate pictures on the online school forum and captioning it as me sexually assaulting him."

"What the fuck!?" Xian was definitely not expecting this.

The traffic was slow moving and Xian could see Jeff's knuckles turning white against the steering.

"Yeah! Those pictures..." Jeff found trouble forming words and all Xian could do was understand. Of course he could. "Back then we were naively trying out some stuff... experimenting with se*. I wasn't even aware we were being filmed and-" taking few deep breaths, Jeff let out a heavy chuckle; "I became an outcast and no one believed my truth. The boy who was once beloved; became an overnight trash.

"You've seen my town. It's small. Words got out faster than lightning and I was struck out. My parents were understanding. They knew I could never do such a thing, but then I did have a penchant for creating troubles, so everyone assumed I was wrong.

"Leander never filed a formal complaint against me but I was still ostracised. The local authorities termed me as an offender and was asked to take up social duties. But, life was far more difficult in school. I was... bullied. Physically and mentally."

"Jeff-"

"They tortured me, people stopped treating me as human and Leander... was worse than all. Once, he accosted me in the bathroom and that's when he revealed this was all his plan. People who bullied him were my friends and he wanted revenge. And to be honest Xian; I didn't even know who they were. Those guys weren't known to me and he just assumed they were my friends because those bastar*s said so."

"..."

"I was once locked inside the bathroom for twenty-four hours and it was only when mom came to rescue me; did they let me go. Not once the school authorities batted their eyes against these atrocities. For them, they felt I deserved it all.

"One day I was mol-" Jeff's voice trembled as he recounted his trauma. "That was the last day I attended school. I couldn't bare all the hate. It was also the day I picked up a blade for the first time in my life to cut my wrist out of anger. My father was the one to admit me in the hospital. He saved my life or so it seemed.

"My parents decided to homeschool me and for next one and half years I was shell of a boy who once loved everyone around him."

Xian had no words.

"It was at the time of graduation when the truth came out. Leander had a girlfriend by then and she was the one to come across some of our videos and chats which were saved in his laptop. They proved that none of our acts were coerced and was all consensual. She posted them online, thus, proving my innocence and Leander's sinister mind.

"That day I received a call from my principal asking me to attend school and accept my certificate; but in the end I couldn't. I was scared at the thought of even stepping out of my house. All those memories of being bullied was at forefront and I declined their offer. All I wanted in life was to leave this forsaken place.

"On whim I applied to Stanford University and when I got in, that night I packed my bags, with blessings of my parents; I walked away without wanting to ever come back."

"What changed?"

"Christian."

Jeff's warm smile brought a smirk on Xian's face.

"It isn't like the way you think." Jeff stopped in another signal and turned to face Xian. His eyes were lighter and much softer. "We struggled a lot to get to this point."

"I am all ears." Xian grinned and all Jeff could do was shake his head.

"Staying in the US wasn't easy. Rather my life took turn for worse. I was always scared  rather terrified even. My issues stopped me from making friends. I basically forgot how to smile and talk normally. Being away from family, new country, new culture was all too much for my sensory. They only thing that remained constant was my thirst to hurt myself and in the end I just couldn't take it anymore. I remember standing on St. Marc's bridge and looking at the water below."

"Jeff-"

"Your thought process is right. I was there to end it all. It was a cold freezing night. My one foot was on the ledge and other on the ground. Without another thought I jumped; and what felt like years later; I woke up to harsh light beaming on me. I was in hospital and a very handsome wet man looming over me. That my friend was how I met Christian."

"I want to say that sounds romantic, but he saved your life!" Xian could picture the moment, and as much as he felt their story was beautiful, it also had a tragic start.

"Indeed. Mind you this wouldn't be the only time either; but yes he did. He was concerned and I was ashamed. He lied to the authorities stating my legs slipped while using my phone. They believed him and after a day under observation, they let me go.

"I wanted to be away from him. He was a reminder that I didn't need. He saw me at my worst and I just needed an escape. But, he was a pest. He was constantly by my side and even if I yelled, screamed and abused him, he'd put up with my shenanigans with a smile."

Jeff started driving again while Xian was quiet and waited patiently for him to continue his story.

"Eventually Christian thawed my cold heart and we became friends. He was a final year law student at Stanford University and I was in my first year business administration. He was my senior in many ways.

"As a senior student, he had a small studio apartment outside campus and there were times I would end up sleeping on his couch or studying there. He was understanding and supportive. It surprises me even today, how our relationship from comrade turned out to be a lifelong promise of being much more."

This statement brought a genuine smile on Xian's face. 'From comrade to a lifelong promise of being much more. Wow!'

"Did you ever have a relapse?" Xian enquired innocently; but the effect on Jeff was immediate. Like before, his knuckles turned white and throat bobbed painfully.

"Jeff-"

"It wasn't until he graduated did we realise in reality how much we came to depend on eachother. Our relationship wasn't all about flowers; but eventually depending on one another truly became toxic. He had to come back here and I was there. When we were together, I didn't realise how alone I was. With him away, I felt a huge hold in my heart. That was when I relapsed.

"I genuinely assumed he'd forget all about me, us; and I did not stop to think once how this would affect Christian. I was selfish and overdosed on sleeping pills. I was lucky to be found by my roommate who admitted me in the hospital and my emergency contact was Christian.

"I woke up two days later to find Christian passed out in exhaustion next to me. His head was on my chest and fingers tightly interlocked with mine. That was when I realised what a fool I have been. This man flew back all the way to see after my well-being while I was questioning what we have. That was when I promised myself to never put him through this pain again.

"Eventually we both realised how toxic our relationship had become. We weren't in a physical relationship, but mentally we were tuned to being dependent. We both realised I needed help and we needed some distance.

"Christian helped me get into a good rehab, while I met doctors there and finally started to open up to my demons. We made a deal that he'd visit me once in three months and if I ever felt demotivated, communication would be the key and we'd find our way back to eachother."

"Did it work?" Xian's voice was coarse. The amount of emotions he felt was unnerving. This conversation hit close home.

"It's been a struggle. I won't say the feeling is completely gone. Probably it would never go, but whenever I have felt this unbearable burden on me, I'd think back to the moment of seeing my Christian's face in that hospital and my promise refurbishes. With that the urge disappears.

"My love for Christian's profound and much larger than my weakness. For him, I shall always fight and keep fighting."

"When did you realise you love him?"

The soft colours from their surrounding swathed Jeff's face and as he reminisced his past and it was then Xian observed a shy smile embedded on his face.

"Probably the moment he saved me the first time... or, probably that night when I slept on his couch and he maintained distance respecting my boundaries. It could also be when he held my hand as we walked through Central Park eating candy and enjoying our time with eachother. With him, it wasn't just a specific day or moment, with him every second made me fall harder."

"It isn't easy to love someone." It wasn't a question from Xian and Jeff agreed.

"It isn't easy, but for us we looked forward to our separation; because when we meet-" Jeff had a naughty smirk as he said, "we are fire on fire."

"Naughty!!!" Xian grinned at Jeff's laughter.

"The first time we planned to have se*; I was scared and he was nervous. Not because we were both virgins; but because we felt so strongly for eachother that physical intimacy was never needed. We conversed lot over phone about our concerns and decided to take things slow when we meet again. But, the moment we laid eyes on eachother, every concern vanished and there was just us. The night Christian took me, it was poetry writing. He was gentle and I savoured every breath of his."

Xian's heart melted yet again at those words. "Please chenge the subject. Feeling a bit hot here." Fanning himself; Xian winked and Jeff shot out an embarrassed laugh.

"My parents weren't aware of us. We both wanted to cherish what we have before we involved our parents. It was after my graduation, my mother wanted me to come home once, so she could show me how much the world here had changed here. When I shared my mother's ideology with Christian, he instantly agreed. Said this could help me heal further. So, with that in mind I chose to fly back and stay for few days. That was when I met Ji."

At Jun's name; Xian's ears perked up and Jeff gave him a knowing smile.

"Ji, was newbie in town. No, let me rephrase. A hot and sexy newbie. Ladies and mothers; all wished to befriend him. As I said before, my mother wasn't aware of Christian, so she just assumed her son was single and when Ji came to our cafe, she without an ounce of embarrassment, set us up."

Xian was already smiling picturing the two of them together.

"Ji was cool as fuck. All he did was have coffee while I was a bit confused at first."

"Confused?"

"Yeah. He didn't react. He just sat there and drank his coffee. I usually never needed a person to talk, so I got my laptop and started working."

"What?" Xian started laughing. "This had to be awkward?"

"On the contrary it wasn't. When I first texted Christian about this bizarre meet, he asked me to be careful. But next day Ji walked in with a book, sat on the same booth we had occupied a day earlier, ordered his coffee and kept reading. This got me curious, so I sat opposite to him and worked on my project. Trust me this saga continued for a week when I finally opened my mouth and said, 'I have a boyfriend.' "

"What?" Xian was outrightly laughing by now. "What did he say?"

" Ji said, 'it doesn't matter. It's quiet here. You aren't flirting with me, unlike the ladies out there, and the coffee is much better here.'; it was probably the first time I heard his voice. When I messaged Christian about this, he assumed Ji was some wanker trying to get into my pants. The entirety of the situation was hilarious and to be honest I was having a good laugh."

Xian agreed wholly.

"But to be honest, Christian and my views of Ji completely changed the day he saved me from one of my worst panic attack. As usual we were sitting in our booth, he reading a book and I was working; when Leander walked into our cafe with his wife and kid."

"The fuck!" Xian was furious.

"Yeah. At the sight of me, he stood still while I started panicking internally. It was when Ji, kneeled in front of me blocking my vision of Leander, did he place his arms around my shoulder. To an outsider it might have looked like sweet lovers moment, but to this day I remember the words Ji whispered into my ears."

"What was that?" Knowing Azure; Xian was sure it would be warm.

"He said, 'Call your man and calm your heart. I'll be right next to you until he comes to get you.' When I was not in any position to call Christian, I unlocked my phone, gave it to Ji and placed my head on the table. It was a while later when I woke up and heard them talk, did I finally smile."

"Come on! You need to complete your stories. You keep taking pauses." Xian complained as Jeff narrowed his eyes and answered back; "Well I am multitasking! Driving, entertaining you and talking!"

"Fine. Fine." Xian grinned and gestured Jeff to continue.

"Christian was apprehensive of Ji, but when Ji assured Christan of his intention, my man finally understood his love was safe. It was fun to see Christian all riled up."

"Did they become friends?" Xian wanted to be assured that Azure was not all alone.

"Being friends with Ji isn't easy. He's super introvert. Almost anti-social. But, he liked reading books and coffee. Mom used to tell me even after I flew back to the States, Ji would occupy our booth, read books and have coffee. When he started bringing Sahara around; people were wary of him and stayed away. That was when I realised, him sitting next to me was wanting to keep people away. Misleading them into thinking we were infact a couple. I honestly didn't mind it. I was glad my company gave him as much comfort as he gave me."

"He didn't have any friends, did he?"

"Nope."

This truth pained Xian. He assumed Azure was alone; but knowing and assuming was different.

They were almost close to their destination.

It was then Xian remembered and shared, "Christian often spoke about you. Not much, but enough for me to know he had someone very special whom he loved and adored."

"Really?" Jeff was pleasently surprised.

"Yes. Now it's my time to tell the tale!" Xian grinned and turned towards Jeff.

Be it Xian's present or Jeff's past, people like Miron and Leander should never have played with another's heart. Xian knew this truth, it was just time to fight his own battle.

Tap-in

A shot very close to the net that no opposing player or goaltender is able to block/save.