Why Illumi wasn't stalking in the greed island arc??

I think I write too many chapters for my ex wife. Anygays Illumi chapter because they're desperate. Yes the second main character in this book is just them.

If for some reason, someone who's not Lucy reads this, I expect no hate comments. This is fan service. For one specific person.

Stop begging for Illumi now, whore. Also no proofreading.

—

You all might be thinking "hey, why did Illumi disappear during greed island and Chimea ant arc?" "Wait, since those are the two most dangerous arcs, shouldn't have Illumi been trying to 'protect' Killu more?"

Of course you probably aren't thinking that.

Instead you're probably wondering why this book has 8 chapters, and Adult Trio Wrong Number, that was started at the same time, had 50 something.

I have no excuse. So we move back onto the topic of Lulu.

What was lil bro doing? He had like at least 6 months of no screen time. Killua's the heir, and Illumi's highest priority. Why would he just disappear?

So I'm here to tell you what actually went down. (What absolutely did not happen.)

—

"Illumi," Silva called, catching the attention of his eldest son, "I hear you've been hired for another mission."

"Yes, father."

"Are you leaving now?"

"Yes, father."

"Very well. Return safely."

"Always, father."

He didn't bother to watch Illumi leave through the front door. Despite Illumi's completely silent movements, Silva could tell he had left.

"So formal, that one." Zeno noted with a hum, drinking tea as he glanced at the empty doorway, where Illumi just was.

—

Illumi didn't react as the bullet flew through his shoulder. The pain not hindering him at all, as he eliminated his target. And the Hunters who had attempted to capture him.

It was a clear trap coming in. But a job was a job.

Leaving the scene of the crime, he didn't bother to bandage up his injury. Blood dripping down his arm. Slowly running to his hand, dripping from his finger tips onto the sidewalk. It'd be hard to catch a ride like this, too many questions. Walking was much quieter.

"Oh my god, your arm," A woman gasped. Following after him.

Ah, he jinxed it.

He already had three needles laved through his fingers. As annoying as it was to kill someone out in the open, it was the dead of night. No one was around. And he had no interest in answering questions.

"Did you get shot?"

Clearly.

"No."

They blinked, halting in their tracks. Realizing how dumb their question was, from the bland sarcastic response.

They think it was sarcasm at least. His voice was too neutral to tell.

Snapping out of their thoughts, they hurriedly caught up with him.

"I can stitch that up, if you want-"

"I could do so myself." Illumi interrupted. Losing his patience quicker than normal for him. One moment away from simply killing them and leaving.

"So you want to bleed?"

He blinked. It was a strange question. Normally, he would've bandaged it up right after the mission. Avoid leaving a blood trail on the sidewalk, tying him to his crime.

How sloppy.

"Fine," Illumi sighed, coming to a stop and turning to face the girl.

They stopped too, blinking, "uh, fine what? To bleeding out..?"

"You may attempt to bandage my wound, if you so desire."

"Oh," Their mouth formed a small 'o' shape. As if they should've pieced that together themselves.

"Well?" Illumi tilted his head to the side at their lack of action. Pursing his lips slightly.

"Oh, right," They grabbed his hand, the one not covered in blood, beginning to drag him along, "We'll go to my house. It's not far, I promise."

Illumi wasn't sure why he followed. Or why he sat on their bed, letting them stitch up his shoulder, far worse than he could've done himself, with only one hand.

"You should stay here tonight," They mentioned as they pulled back, placing the needle back onto the bedside table, "Just so you don't get shot again."

He couldn't help the part of him that missed the touch. Quite unfamiliar, but not unwelcome as he thought it may be.

"Yes," Illumi nodded, despite being well aware he was in no danger, "I suppose I should pay you back as well."

"I really don't need money." They assured, laughing awkwardly.

Their living arrangement said otherwise. Though Illumi realize that'd be impolite to say.

"In other ways, then?" Illumi asked, pushing them back onto the bed, staring down at them. Unsure of his own actions at this point.

He had been rather out of it since Killua left. Acting abnormal, even to his standards.

Oh well. One night couldn't hurt.

—

Illumi found that he allowed himself to get injured more often. If he didn't, he'd make sure to "accidentally" cut himself on a piece of sharp metal. Or to break a bone or two.

Lucy, as he learned the woman's name to be, was always pleased to help.

And it wasn't like sleeping with people was against Zoldyck rules. It was only once a month or so.

And they looked so good whimpering underneath him. Tearing up and begging for more.

So sweet. And so adorably obsessed. He hadn't failed to notice the pictures of him, covering every wall in their closet. Entirely unaware of how much they could sell those for.

Absolutely convinced they loved him. Never questioning how he got injured. Why he'd come in through their window min the dead of night. Wake them up with soft whispered in their ear, and hand trailing along their body.

"Please don't leave." They pleaded in between soft pants. Spread out on the bed, completely exhausted.

"Why would I stay?" Illumi questioned, standing over them. "You've already received your payment of choice."

"..ah.. tax?" Lucy offered up, unsure of their own words, "Extra reward, for not asking questions?"

"How long do you expect me to stay?"

"Morning..? After I wake up?" They slowly sat up, wincing in pain, "At the very least until I'm asleep, please, Illumi-"

"Say my name like that and you'll be going another round," Illumi interrupted, grasping their chin and forcing their chin up so they'd face him.

"Illu.." She pleaded, staring up at him. Eyes widening in shock as he forcefully kissed them. Slowly melting into it.

"You're such lovely relief," Illumi whispered in between kisses. Forcing her down onto the bed, "Such a good girl."

⚠️Reminder this is for Lucy only⚠️

They just moaned, eyes slipping closed. Gasping as Illumi's hand intertwined with her hair. Pulling on it harshly.

"Do you love me?" He asked, voice cold in her ear. Much different than the usual neutral tone.

"Y-yes, n-ngh.. love you, Illu, please," They gasped, nails digging into his shoulders.

"Good girl," He praised, pulling back, earning a whine from Lucy (desperate pathetic whore who needs to stop begging for Illumi after this.) "What a pretty thing, all worked up."

"More, please," She pleaded, managing to sit up again, despite their aching body, "Can- can relieve you so well, right? Please? Let- let me help-"

"Such a pretty servant." He hummed, brushing their hair out of their face, watching them pant, before pulling away again, "But such a fragile thing needs rest. And I must leave."

"Illumi-"

"I'll be back next week." He assured, "Do not fret. Rest."

—

He stared out the window of the airship. Leaning his cheek against his knuckles.

How careless of him to get attached. They were never meant to be more than a one night stand.

But such a devoted thing they were. So easily manipulated. And such a great distraction. It was possibly the only time his mind moved away from Killua.

If only his father hadn't allowed Killua to leave. He never would've gotten himself in such a messy situation.

Word Count: idk do it urself

Fun Facts:

• Yeah so now you can pretend you canonically had a multiple month long affair with Illumi Zoldyck during the greed island/chimera ant arcs.

• "Why would you wrote this" "this is so weird" "it doesn't match the theme of this book" "I didn't think you'd do fan service, weirdo" I JUST WANT MY DRAWINGS (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )

• Lucy finish drawing them so I can see. I'll frame them on my locker at work. PUH-LEASE