What happened during the time at Trick Tower with all the applicants who passed waiting at the bottom

Eat food, drink water, and get 5+ hours of sleep today or I'll unyassify Killua and turn him into a regular looking prepubescent boy.

Schwwhhooosh was essentially the sound the sliding brick doors made as they opened. Except for a bit more.. grainy, y'know?

Hisoka had just had a very fun little battle against this Hunter guy.

So, so basically Hisoka went in, and then all these candles lit up with a hhvvvuvuwhooshh. They were strangely green for some reason.

Magic, I guess.

And then the Hunter guy was all like "Howdy pardner, how's the wife?"

Knowing full well that Hisoka was single and all, because when he was born he had a Hisoka born birth, Hisoka born when. Alzheimer's. So Hisoka was born and, when he was born he birthed and burned and he born. So yeah, basically born

But before Hisoka could make it back to the bat cave, the Hunter exam guy popped out of his grave. And started tossing sharp boomerangs at him. Which isn't a very kind thing to do to your friends.

And then Hisoka was like, backflip backflip backflip, boom! somersault, psshhhhk, more acrobatics! And then he shot the Hunter guy, but without a gun, or shooting. So basically he didn't shoot the Hunter guy.

And then Hunter guy was like :0

And so then, then Hunter guy was like, "guess what, more sharp boomerangs!"

And then it was Hisoka's turn to be all like :0

And then the boomerangs were like :) and went sliceeeee, swishhhhh, slicceee, and so Hisoka had a few cuts and ouchies.

And Hisoka didn't like that much, or maybe he did, we aren't sure. So Hisoka caught the boomerangs and the Hunter guy was like 😧and the boomerangs were like 😦 because they don't have eyebrows.

And then Hisoka was like stab stab, and the Hunter guy died.

And so Hisoka got to the base of trick tower alive, with slight injuries. And then after that Gittarackur, more frequently referred as glitter cracker or guitar cracker, and Hanzo, more frequently referred as the bald ninja turtleᵀᴹ or Mr. Clean (derogatory), followed as number two, and number three.

And after that they only showed us a few glimpses of the base of trick tower. Not enough to really understand what went on.

Yoshihiro Togashi was hiding something, clearly. So here's my uneducated, unqualified, unprofessional guess.

—

"Do they seriously expect us to, I don't know," Some Applicant, that Hisoka never bothered to put a name to, groaned, "just fucking sit here in silence for the next twenty hours?"

"I have to admit, it's getting quite boring."

Hisoka just looked away, and returned his attention to the card tower he was building. Finding no interest in that conversation.

That was, of course, until one of the applicants said they should, and I quote, "Put on a drag show."

Hisoka wasn't opposed. Nor was Illumi, for that matter. Not that Illumi's opinion mattered. As he was currently have a mid-life crisis, as to why he was currently eating frozen dinosaur chicken nuggets. And why the Hunter exam was sponsored by Dino chicken nuggets.

—

Flashback to a few hours earlier

—

"Hello, and congratulations to the applicants who have already passed the Third Phase of the Hunter exam!" Netero's voice came in over the intercom, the lights suddenly dimming as a video got projected onto the wall "We have just a quick word from our sponsors!"

A video then popped, up with a plate of dinosaur chicken nuggets. A weird like movie ad narrator voice speaking.

"Have you ever wondered how you're supposed to use Dino Chicken nuggets?"

Illumi has no fucking idea what a Dino Chicken Nugget is.

"Well, my beautiful spelling on the toilet audio book, read by Mike Tyson and queen Elsa, that I bought from Walmart three years ago but never used-"

That was an oddly specific term of endearment(?)

"Let me show you."

Illumi wasn't interested.

"First of all, you could fly a pterodactyl into the building you're in, and causing multiple deaths. What'd they do, arrest you? You just blew up the prison. They can't do shit."

What.

"Or, you could leave a trail or chicken nuggets in your child's room. Leading to a shrine you placed in the closet. Don't have a child? Don't worry, just take one against their will!"

What.

"Now, have the shrive writing all in ketchup. And make the child fear the power that the dino nuggets have. Make a book for the shrine, with a list of rules. The biggest one being that they can't let you know that the dino nuggets are taking over."

Illumi was lost, and mildly concerned as to if that was why Killua spent so long in the closet. (Cough cough, gay-)

"Now, you've put extra stress on the child into trying to keep this all secret. Child is now more easily susceptible to manipulation. Make the child do as you please, and if they don't.. well, if the Dino nuggets convince them to self defenestrate off the eighth-floor's window, that wasn't your fault, now was it?"

What.

"It's an easily cleanable mess. And the police won't question why there's a few Dino nuggets on the floor of the closet. I mean, that's just children sneaking food, right?"

Illumi can now understand why they're the ones sponsoring the most deadly exam on earth.

"Now, onto the next usage-"

That video was thirteen minutes long.

And then, at the end, there was a list of health risks you could get from eating said chicken nugget. Like the fucking medicine ads.

It said to keep away from children. To no put anywhere near mouth or eyes.

It's a fucking chicken nugget. Illumi wants to scream.

—

End flashback

—

Anyways, Illumi didn't think his poison immunity covered said chicken nuggets. So he was only slowly eating them.

The rest of the applicants, ignoring Illumi's flashback because it's rude to comment on other people's flashbacks, we all know this, started to protest the drag show idea.

Hisoka found enjoyment in watching the one applicant—Hanzo, apparently—try to coax the others into participating. His attempts were futile, but still quite entertaining.

—

His attempts were apparently not futile.

This was because another applicant, an old man, started offering free mini-skirts to those who bought two ice cream cones.

Don't ask where he got the ice cream cones. Or the mini skirts. Or how he set up an ice cream stand in all of three minutes.

How about you just don't ask questions, and leave it at that.

—

"Holy shit," One of the applicants twirled around, staring at the full size mirror someone had brought to the exam, 'just in case', "I look good in a skirt."

"Yeah, it's nice, but where are the pockets?"

"Who cares," The first applicant waved him off dismissively "I look like I'm ready to seduce the president."

"Boe Jiden?"

The first guy paused, before saying "..No, not that one."

"Tonald Drump!?"

"No, Jesus Christ I was joking!" He wasn't joking, he was talking about Obama. But nobody needs to know that.

The second applicant narrowed his eyes at him.

They were catching on, shit.

Just before the second applicant could question anything, the first one hastily spoke up again.

"Though, I mean, the skirts are impractical for fighti-"

Hanzo chose that moment to do a triple somersault, the splits, and then sweep the first applicant's legs out from under them.

Illumi was thoroughly unimpressed, but made no comment.

"Impractical for fighting?" Hanzo questioned, standing up and dusting off his skirt. Personally offended by the question.

"You could've flashed everyone, dumbass." The first application grumbled from his spot, knocked down on the floor.

"Just an extra distraction."

"You have less fucking shame than Hisoka-"

"No he doesn't," Gittarackur spoke up for the first time. His head chattering as he stared at the applicants with soulless eyes.

"I have to agree~♤" Hisoka purred, not bothering to look at the applicants. Knocking down his finished card tower, leaving cards scattered on the floor.

"Stop speaking all fancy," The applicant grumbled as he pulled himself up off the floor, adding for good measure, "and go fuck yourself."

"With pleasure~♡" Hisoka purred at the same time the same person hissed "Do not take that literally."

The cat disease has already taken effect on both of them. How unfortunate.

"Hisoka, refrain from public indecency for five minutes, please." Gittarackur said, his head rattling around like there was a black cat in there, bouncing off the walls for no reason.

Jinx, the black cat in question, was actually trying to find his missing lick-inator 2000. (He dropped his tongue somewhere and couldn't find it.)

Unaware of a cat existing in his brain, he simply went back to sitting against the wall, staring into the eternal void that is reality. His eyes black, expressionless. Uncaring like the universe. Knowing that when his time comes, and he passes away, there will be no god to answer for his sins. Only the all knowing void.

He and the void will become one, and his mind will be no more. He will no longer exist, and he will never exist again. He will become a part of something greater, larger than even he can imagine, and yet something that is also nonexistent, something that holds no meaning. No value.

He will become nothing, and yet he will become everything-

"Oh, but where's the fun in that? ♡" His thoughts were interrupted by a certain clown we all know and love.

Illumi just stayed quiet. Not bothering to entertain Hisoka with a response.

—

"Ice cream cones! Ice cream cones! Come get your used Ice cream cones!" The old man shouted, standing behind his makeshift baskin robins.

And by makeshift I mean there was an entire Baskin Robbins, that just spawned in the middle of the room.

And by old man, I mean that Hisoka has seen him repeatedly trying to add more glue to his fake beard, and draw wrinkles onto his face with sharpie. And he was also wearing a name tag that said 'Dave, definitely 82, my id just happens to not be working right now, I'm old guys, trust'

"How the fuck is an ice cream cone used?" An applicant asked, the first to dare and speak to the 'crazy old Baskin Robbin's dweller.'

"I'm glad you asked."

<><><>Unfortunately this scene had to be cut out so to extreme violence, however I can tell you what this scene sounded like<><><>

"Mmffffff-!?"

"Shh, shh let the ice cream cone engulf you, baby."

"MMHGFF MHHH-"

"Do not resist. Do not be afraid."

"GHMMGH MMHFF!!!"

"Violence between applicants is not allowed during the wait period, Mr Bodoro, or Dave. Whatever you are going by."

"MHHG! MMHHG!"

"I'm not being violent, I'm showing him the love that ice cream can bring to him."

"MHHGMH, MHH!!!!"

"..Carry on, then."

"MH, MHHHG MDFFG, GMHFH-"

...It's safer to just stop there.

—

Killua, Gon, Kurapika, Leorio, and Tampon were still such in their time out room.

Talking about time outs, watermelons can't fly at Leorio's head at high speeds, otherwise A: screaming will happen, B: there will be lots noise as watermelon insides get splattered against the wall, and C: Killua will get put in time out for his crimes.

Killua didn't feel the least bit sorry. Leorio shouldn't feel safe at any given time. Not while Killua's out there, lurking.

—

Lippo seemed suspiciously eager to agree to Hanzo and some old man who set up the ice cream store earlier, Bodoro apparently, when the two requested for help "putting on a drag show."

Hisoka could smell the gay from here.

Not that he cared, he had no interest in watching or participating in this drag show. Their lack of performance skills bored him.

Illumi, or more accurately Gittarackur, however did get pulled into the show. Despite being in a much less feminine disguise, he still outshined all the other applicants.

Especially with the fact that he has a slut's waist. And that he wore eight inch six heels [Edit note: I'm sick rn, please ignore mistake]

Later on, Illumi would allow someone to live for the sole purpose of dying while fighting. Letting them leave towards the exact location he knew Hisoka was.

He secretly hoped that they'd suddenly turn into the lost, alpha, hated child, hybrid princess, and murder Hisoka with their powers.

That, unfortunately didn't happen.

So Illumi crawled into a hole and died. Until he had to get up and continue the exam, at least.

Word Count: 2279

Fun Facts:

• Haven't been writing at all😖 someone abuse me into writing-

• The cat disease was mentioned in my other book Rewind(HxH), and I will not elaborate on what exactly it is, and how you catch it

• This was literally the notes I left myself for this chapter. I'm never writing at 3 Am again😭

•Drag queen Hanzo
•Hisoka's climax climbed max
•Lippo? Do you mean Miss barbecue flippo?
•Pokkle Yee'd his Haw too close to the sun, and now there is no more fun🤕
•Random cuts to the main 4 actually doing stuff and it all being like "Bang Bang! Powww! Boom! And then he went kaaaapow!"
•Illumi just wants to crawl into a hole and die.
•The weird old guy Killua killed hands out miniskirts for two ice cream cones. Pulls off disguise to reveal that he is, in fact, Dave.
•Ariana Grande x Hisoka: a McDonald's employee with eight kids
•Twink badink badink, Hisoka in ur sink:0