Hutch

Honestly, I'm lucky she agreed to go to breakfast with me. She completely shut down when she started to say something about her ex. Joseph. The name leaves a sour taste in my mouth simply because of how it affected her. Krista said it wasn't her story to tell, but it wasn't a good one. One day, I'll get her to tell me about him and why he put that look in her eyes. It was haunted almost. I want to understand the pain there. To make it better somehow.

And that starts with me being her friend. I texted her good morning as soon as I woke up. I knew she'd be passed out since it was four in the morning, but I'm determined to be the first person she speak to in the morning and the last. I made my mind up last night and texted her good night as well. I'm going to start scouring the internet for funny memes I can send her too. I want her to get used to seeing me in her inbox. I'm going to wear down those walls of hers with sheer kindness and goofy silly things.

As I pull into her driveway, I see two of the baseball guys just coming out. They throw their hands up when see me, but get in their cars probably headed to class. They're good guys at least. I know they hold a lot of parties here, but the guys who have girlfriends that live here tend to make sure people keep their shit together and don't harass the women at the parties. I can't stand that shit. Drunk or not, be respectful.

I get out and go in the house. It's not locked, but then it rarely is during the day. She not in the living room, so I head to the kitchen where she's sitting at the island yawning with a cup of coffee in front of her. It's already 10:30. Did she just get up?

"Heya sleepy head. You ready to go eat?"

She glances at me and then at her coffee. "I just poured this. Didn't think you'd be here until eleven."

I shrug. "I thought we'd get a jump on it since you have class at one. You got your stuff ready? I can drop you at your building when we're done."

"I thought I'd drive myself since I need my car..."

I shake my head before she can finish. "Nope. I told you I was driving. I can pick you up after class and bring you back to the house. It's not a problem."

She frowns, but doesn't argue. I chalk it up to my bubbly personality.

"Are you always this happy in the mornings?"

"Sure am. Aren't you?"

"No. I hate early mornings."

I make a point to look at my watch. "It's 10:38. It's not early."

"I woke up fifteen minutes ago. It's early for me."

"I been up since four."

She scowls. "Why would you do that to yourself?"

"Hockey practice."

"Sucks for you."

I laugh. "Yeah, but I love it so I don't mind the early hours."

"I guess." She gets up and pours her coffee out before putting the cup in the dishwasher. "Where are we going to eat?"

"Little place right off campus. A hole in the wall basically, but they have the best breakfast in the city. At least I think so."

"It's not just a grease machine? There's food you can actually eat?"

"Yup. Most of us hockey players eat there. The school keeps them running on athlete's. Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of greasy, sugary, fatty food too, but they keep us in mind as well."

"I'm guessing more than just athletes eat there from the school then?"

"Yeah." I open the car door for her and she raises a brow. "My mama taught me right. You open doors for ladies."

"She did good then. My Gran always said if a man doesn't open a door for someone, then he wasn't raised right. I remember her telling our next door neighbor if he couldn't open his man's door, then he needed to go learn some manners. He was terrified to tell her he was gay since she was so religious, but she accepted him with open arms when his own family disowned him."

"She sounds like a wonderful person."

She gives me the saddest smile I've ever seen. "She was and everyone loved her. I miss her all the time and I hope I can do her proud."

"All things considered, I'd say you're doing a pretty good job of that."

"You can't know that since you barely know me."

"True, but I know enough to make assumptions."

"You know what they say about people who assume..."

"Yeah, yeah, but I stand on what I said. You're a good person who does her best with the hands she's been dealt. My mom is like that. She raised me by herself after my dad walked out. Sometimes I saw her maybe ten minutes a day because she was going from job to job to keep a roof over our heads, food on the table, and my hockey camps paid for. She had a shit hand dealt to her and she made it work."

We're both quiet for a while after that. I glance over at her and she's staring out the window, a thoughtful expression on her face. I wonder what she's thinking about.

It's not until I'm pulling into parking lot of my favorite breakfast plate that she interrupts the silence. "It's hard to keep yourself afloat when things are bad, let alone someone else. Your mom sounds like an amazing person. I'm glad I got to meet her."

"She wants you at the house for supper."

"Uhh...why?"

I shrug. "She likes you. Come on. Let's go while they're not busy. Their lunch rush will be starting soon and I want a good table before that happens." Best to distract her from that for a while. I'm hoping I can get her to dinner with Mom by next Sunday. Fingers crossed as my cousin would say.

Ellie's Biscuits and Fixins as the place is called is a little known secret. Only the locals go here and the tourist visit the fancier places. Which is fine with all of us. Ellie's is only open until 2pm so its always busy. Even as we walk in, the tables are still full. I take Daisy's hand and make a beeline for the window table that is open. I see two guys walking toward it and run, making it to the table a few steps before them.

"Was that necessary?" Daisy asks.

"Yes," all three of us guys answer.

She shakes her head and slides into the booth. "Stupid."

"But we got one of the best seats in the place." I can't hide the pride in my voice for beating out two of the college basketball players. They might spend half their time running, but I spend most of my time skating and running. I'm faster.

It's not long before our waitress comes over with menu's and a complimentary carafe of coffee and mugs.

"See, I told you not to worry about coffee." I grin as the waitress laughs.

"I'm Casey and I'll be your waitress today. Do you two want creamer as well?"

"Please," Daisy murmurs.

"I'll be right out with it. Can I bring you some juice or water as well?"

"Water for me."

"Water's fine."

"You know you can order OJ or something. It won't bother me."

"Lies. You'll want it and I'll end up feeling bad. Now, what's good here?" she asks.

"Everything."

"That tells me nothing." She flips the one page menu over. "Eww, grits. I hate grits."

"My mom loves them."

"My gran loved them so I learned how to make them. Still don't like them, though."

"Let's see...for your first time, I'd try one of the specialty waffles."

She looks up. "Nah. You can't eat them so I don't want to eat that in front of you."

"I'm used to it. I'm getting steak and their egg white omelets. Trust me, get the waffles, I don't mind."

"I really want to try the cinnamon roll waffle."

"I had them over the summer. They're my favorite."

"Nope, not getting them then."

Mom is going to love this girl.

When Casey came back, I gave her my order and Daisy decided on fresh strawberry crepes.

"What are crepes?" I ask when the waitress leaves. I think I've heard of them, but I can't be sure.

"They're like thin pancakes folded over and stuffed with all sorts of things. You can make breakfast, lunch or dinner crepes."

"Never had them. I'm strictly a pancake kind of guy."

"Do you eat Keto pancakes through the season?"

"That's a thing?"

Her lips purse. "How often do you eat clean for sports?"

"I eat okay, but I really locked in this season because I want a spot with the NHL."

"Did you live off burgers and fries when your mom didn't cook for you?"

"Busted."

She smiles ruefully. "I'd live off pizza if I could."

I groan. "I love pizza, but I can't eat it!"

"Sure you can, just use a non wheat crust and low fat cheese."

"Isn't that nasty, though?"

"I've never tried to make one, but I can experiment a little to see what one would taste like. As far as cheese...cheese is cheese. It tastes good no matter what."

This is why I know she likes me. She wouldn't be thinking about trying to find recipes that might taste good and still be healthy for me. Same as I'm always trying to feed her. It's weird but it shows we both care. Mom always said food is a universal language and I guess she's right.

"I would appreciate it, thanks."

She looks around and and I do as well, trying to figure out what she's thinking. The place is a literal hole in the wall. A long counter with stools go from one end to the other with a small space at both ends for the staff to come in and out of. The floor is concrete and the booths are wood and the cushions a brown leather. The walls are a mint green and the place reeks of bacon. There's barely enough room in here for the booths that line the wall opposite the counter and the few tables crammed together in the remaining space. It's a miracle anyone can walk around.

"We had a place like this where I'm from. It's probably twice as small as this. We had the counter stools only. No tables. The only thing they served was hot dogs, ice cream, and the best fries in six counties. I remember if you wanted coleslaw, you went there. They didn't want to sell it because it was only for their hot dogs, but if you knew the owner, then they'd slide you a cup of it here or there."

"Sounds like a greasy hole in the wall."

"It is and I love it." The smile that graced her lips was beautiful to behold. I think it's the first real smile I've seen. I thought her smiles before were awesome, but this...this is like seeing into her soul.

"So you like these kind of places?"

"I love food, but I particularly love places like this that have better food than most restaurants."

I file that away for future use. I'll need to look up places like this throughout the city.

"I have a sweet tooth much to my coach's disgust. Give me sugar and I'm happy. Keep me completely away from it and I can turn into a grouchy monster."

"Are you completely staying away from sugar?"

"I tried. I really did, but even Coach told me to eat a piece of candy."

She frowns. "Don't do that. There are ways to get your sugar fix without ruining your diet."

"How so?"

"My best friend growing up was diabetic. Her mom made sure she didn't miss out. There are ways to eat sugar without it being detrimental to your diet."

"Chocolate?"

"Chocolate is a little harder, but it can be done."

"Hmm...I'll ask Mom to look into some diabetic friendly recipes that involve sugar."

"I liked your mom. She reminds me a lot of you. You both tend to ignore the word no and just bulldoze ahead."

"I don't ignore the word no. But when I set my mind to something, I can be very focused. Like now, I want to be your friend and I get it might come off pushy and if it does, just say that. I'll dial it back a notch. I don't want you to be uncomfortable or dread seeing me. That's the last thing I want."

"You are very pushy."

"Sorry." Dammit. If I back off, she'll push me even further away. How to keep her close and make her not feel pressured?

"I don't really have anyone. My gran died, my brother's in an unknown location and I'm always scared a soldier will show up on my doorstep to tell me he died in the line of duty. My friends either went to college or moved away. The ones that stuck around...well, let's say they ended up in a dead end job, some on drugs, and others drifted away naturally. I'm trying to get my life together and learn how to not depend on anyone but myself. It's hard. Most days it's all I can do to get through the day."

Fuck. "I'm sorry."

She waves that away. "I'm afraid if I let people in, they'll just go away again and I'll be back to being alone. It's better to keep it that way than to lose so much again. It has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with me. Can you understand that?"

"I can, but that's a hell of a lonely way to live."

She shrugs and looks out the window. "It is, but it doesn't end up hurting so much."

"Or it ends up costing you more pain in the long run. If you let people in, they can share the pain with you."

"Maybe."

"All I'm saying is maybe think about not pushing me away so hard? I really do want to be your friend."

"You want to be more than my friend."

"I do, but if all you can deal with is being my friend, then that's what'll I'll be until you can handle more."

"And if I can't handle more?"

"Then we'll just be friends. We all need friends, Daisy. It's not healthy to cut yourself off from any sort of external relationships."

"I know that, but it's hard."

"I'm worth the effort, though." I give her my dimpled grin in an effort to lighten the mood. I don't want to bring her down and she looks so sad right now.

"You're full of yourself."

"That too, but still worth it."

"Keep telling yourself that."

"You're worth the effort too." Before I can say anything, our breakfast arrives. That was quick.

"Thank you," Daisy murmurs.

"Let me know if you need anything else." She sets a fresh carafe of coffee on the table along with a container of fresh cream for the coffee before hurting off to the next table.

"This smells so good." Daisy leans down and takes a deep breath. I can smell the strawberries and cream from my side of the booth. Makes me wish I'd ordered her crepes as well.

"Best place for breakfast in the city for a reason!" someone across the way shouts. I look up to see Gordan Soccks, our second line defensemen, sitting with a few of the other hockey players a few booths down. How did I not see them when we came in? Nor did I realize they were close enough to hear our conversation.

Daisy seems to have come to the same realization as her body posture has gone from relaxed to tense. The openers in her expression is gone as well. It feels like all the progress I made seems to have gone by the wayside. I'm hoping that's not the case.

"Who's this?" Gordon nods to Daisy.

"Daisy, meet the guys. Guys, this is Daisy. Now shut the hell up and mind your business."

They all laugh and go back to their food.

She glances at them and then back out the window.

"They're idiots. Harmless idiots, but still idiots."

Daisy shrugs and starts to eat, leaving us both in silence. It's not until the hockey players leave that she seems to relax again. That bothers me.

"You good?"

"Fine."

"I know you're fine, but are you good? You seemed to clam up when the boys were here. And now that they're gone, you seem less tense."

"I uh..." She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. "I've had some bad experiences with team mates you could say."

"This have to do with the ex that shall not be named?"

She stares at me for a full minute before she makes a decision. "Joseph was captain of the football team. Quarterback and state and regional champion for three years. He had an ego and so did his friends that were on the team. Let's just say that ego led to comments I didn't appreciate from his friends."

"He didn't tell them to fuck off?"

"It was funny to him."

"That's not cool."

"There's a lot of things I see now that wasn't cool. When you're seventeen and in love, you tend to ignore all the red flags because you think it's special."

"When you're ready, I'm here to listen about all his assholery and we'll come up with a diss track or something."

"You can write and mix music?"

"Fuck no, but doesn't stop me from helping you get all that anger out."

"You think I'm angry?"

"Yeah, sweetheart, you are. I can see it in your posture, your tone, and your eyes. But it's okay to be angry. He wasn't an asshole and let his friends say some shit he shouldn't have. I'd have kicked all their teeth in had I heard it."

She sighs and slumps down. "I really don't like to talk about it."

"Then let's not talk about it. Why don't you spend the rest of our time and tell me a little bit about growing up in West By God Virginia as I've heard it called."

"I can do that." She gives me a hesitant smile and I sit back and listen to her tell me about growing up in a small mountain town where everybody knows everybody. By the time the bill's paid and I'm dropping her at her class, she's back to the same relaxed person she'd been before the boys showed up.

And maybe a little closer to letting herself accept me as her friend.

That'll be enough until she learns she can trust me.